#1 (Author unknown)
Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the pipes leak, when the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.
When the joints ache, when the hips creak,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.
#2 By Thomas Vincent, as published in the Washington Post*
Golfing and Big Macs and late-night tweet rages,
Tax breaks for fat cats and babies in cages.
Justices dancing like puppets on strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Hounding reporters and calling them traitors,
Pissing off allies and kissing dictators,
Congress like bobbleheads mounted on springs,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When collusion and indictments
Bring things to a halt,
I go on TV and say you can't blame me
For it's all Obama's fault.
* From "The Style Invitational" which is a contest held every week, in the Style section of the Washington Post. It's a marvelous opportunity to flex one's creative muscles. Try it, you'll like it.
