I am very disgusted with the way the Republican members of the House Oversight Committee acted as Michael Cohen gave testimony. They call him a liar.. but who encouraged him to lie? Who edited his statements before he gave them in his prior appearance? Hypocrites! What is trump holding over their heads to get them all to act alike?
Anyway.. you know why I am writing a lot of blog entries lately... yes, I am avoiding doing my Income Tax. Ye procrastination god.. thou art my muse.
Aging
Someone sent me this new take on a famous prayer:
The Senility Prayer
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway, the good fortune
to run into the ones I do, and the
eyesight to tell the difference.
..................................................................
Math Question (from the American Legion Magazine)
Teacher: "If there are seven flies and I hit one with a ruler, how many are left?"
Student: "Just the one you squashed."
.....................................................................
Literature (from New York Times Book Review)
Chelsea Clinton mentioned something she read in a Perez-Reverte novel. One of the characters said: "Never trust a man who reads only one book."
El presidente may have never read a book.. and... his own book The Art of the Deal was ghost-written.
In my years on the boards of several non-profit organizations, I had to interact with lots of people who have never read anything but the Bible. Yes, I have read it too. (Some of it.. because some other parts put me to sleep, I'm sorry to say.) But.. one must read other things because the Bible should not be taken as the complete guide for everything one does... Some of the preachers that I interacted with proved to be hypocrites.. IMHO. However, some were wonderful people... IMHO.
........................................................................
Weird Stuff (from a recent Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me)
Clothes
One of the famous designers (Laurent?) has designed some high heeled shoes with wheels attached. Are they like the funny sneakers that little kids have? I have a hard time visualizing some tall, skinny super model whizzing by in her rolling high heels.
Fast Food
There now are oyster vending machines in France.
How on earth would they keep the oysters fresh? Stick a franc (or euro) into a slot and get to slurp an oyster (except during certain months.) Also, how on earth do you keep them cold? Wait a minute, we have ice cream vending machines, so I guess it is possible to keep anything cold in a vending machine.
Quite a while ago, I read about a High School class that went on a European trip and discovered that they could get a can of beer from a vending machine. High times!
......................................................................
enough
Thursday, February 28, 2019
Wednesday, February 27, 2019
Quick Facts
I think I should take a break from my Politics, Religion and Sex entries. Instead, today, I will talk about some other stuff, while not as interesting, could still command a little attention.
Animals Rights
According to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the PETA organization has decided that animals are getting a bad break on some of our phrases, and has suggested some changes, such as:
Old: Bring home the bacon.
New: Bring home the bagels.
Old: Kill two birds with one stone.
New: Feed two birds with one scone.
Old: There's more than one way to skin a cat.
New: There's more than one way to feed a cat.
What do you think? I think that PETA also wants pet owners to clothe their animals. I could be wrong on this... I hope so.
...................................
Large Population Solution
The Saturday Evening Post says that Texas could contain the Earth's entire population if it were as densely populated as New York City.
And Ted Cruz would run the show.
...........................................
Animal Talk (from my 1988 stand-up routine)
Wife bear to husband bear: "Did you eat something that disagreed with you? You tossed and turned all Winter long."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Perseverance for sure!
The Week Magazine in 2016 reported that an 80 year-old homeless woman won a 16-year-long battle to claim Social Security benefits. She received a lump sum check for $99,999.
This reminds me of the time that our Social Security programmers accidentally paid beneficiaries an amount that was really their zip-code. This was not so great for someone on the East Coast in zip-code 00125, but was great for someone on the West Coast in zip-code 99555. Luckily, the error was caught quickly and not too many people were involved.
.......................................
Enough for now.
Animals Rights
According to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the PETA organization has decided that animals are getting a bad break on some of our phrases, and has suggested some changes, such as:
Old: Bring home the bacon.
New: Bring home the bagels.
Old: Kill two birds with one stone.
New: Feed two birds with one scone.
Old: There's more than one way to skin a cat.
New: There's more than one way to feed a cat.
What do you think? I think that PETA also wants pet owners to clothe their animals. I could be wrong on this... I hope so.
...................................
Large Population Solution
The Saturday Evening Post says that Texas could contain the Earth's entire population if it were as densely populated as New York City.
And Ted Cruz would run the show.
...........................................
Animal Talk (from my 1988 stand-up routine)
Wife bear to husband bear: "Did you eat something that disagreed with you? You tossed and turned all Winter long."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Perseverance for sure!
The Week Magazine in 2016 reported that an 80 year-old homeless woman won a 16-year-long battle to claim Social Security benefits. She received a lump sum check for $99,999.
This reminds me of the time that our Social Security programmers accidentally paid beneficiaries an amount that was really their zip-code. This was not so great for someone on the East Coast in zip-code 00125, but was great for someone on the West Coast in zip-code 99555. Luckily, the error was caught quickly and not too many people were involved.
.......................................
Enough for now.
Sunday, February 24, 2019
A Little More Politics, Religion and Sex
It's hard to tell whether my audience is enjoying my Politics, Religion and Sex blog entries, but I will try it again and see what happens.
Politics: djt
Our current president (the BLOB) said in 2016: "The law's totally on my side... the President can't have a conflict of interest."
(In 2019, the House is in Democratic hands and we'll see if mr trump is correct after some investigation.)
Also, in 2016, The Week Magazine reported that trump supporters were urging via the Internet that coffee-drinkers say their name is 'trump' when ordering at Starbucks, so that the baristas would call out djt's last name whenever an order is ready. (Free advertising.)
.........................................
Religion: 666
The Week Magazine reported in 2013 that a Kentucky high schooler dropped out of her sports competition when she was given the bib number '666.' The devout Christian considers the number to be a sign of the devil. The race organizers refused to give her another number, so she quit, saying: "I didn't want to risk my relationship with God."
1. I read somewhere recently that the number '666' was a mis-translation. It might have been '777' or '999.' What about all the books and pamphlets and sermons alerting us to '666?' Wow! So that's why we are all so messed up!
2. When I was 11 years old, I worked part-time at a circus and learned that when you throw a ring to go around a peg labeled '66' and expected a prize, the one who ran the site would pull the peg, turn it over, and show it as '99' which was not a winner. Same thing with '18' and '81. etc.
While we are at it... after everyone left the circus grounds except us workers, the door on the iron lung would open and the girl who was inside would climb out, yell for a drink and saunter off to her trailer to rest until the next day. (Some of you may not know that an iron lung was used by people with polio. Polio was eradicated in the U.S. a long time ago, but when I was 11, it was still a scourge and many people spent their lives enclosed in an "iron lung." To see someone inside, caused most viewers to dig deep into their wallets.)
..................................................
Sex: Nudism
This week's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! radio show mentioned a new fun thing to do in Australia:
Nude Golf.
They mentioned that this would give new meaning to the phrase: "How's it swingin'?"
Or, in case of "The Blob"... i.e., djt: "How's it hangin'?"
..................................................
OK OK here are a few nudist notes:
A problem at a nudist wedding is where does the best man keep the ring? One might suggest using tape. And just who is considered the "best" man anyway?
Another problem at a nudist wedding is where to put the white carnation.
......................................................
OK OK here is another sex item to consider:
A ninety year old man married a 20 year old girl. He died on the wedding night, and it took the undertaker three days to wipe the smile off of his face.
.......................................
enough!
Politics: djt
Our current president (the BLOB) said in 2016: "The law's totally on my side... the President can't have a conflict of interest."
(In 2019, the House is in Democratic hands and we'll see if mr trump is correct after some investigation.)
Also, in 2016, The Week Magazine reported that trump supporters were urging via the Internet that coffee-drinkers say their name is 'trump' when ordering at Starbucks, so that the baristas would call out djt's last name whenever an order is ready. (Free advertising.)
.........................................
Religion: 666
The Week Magazine reported in 2013 that a Kentucky high schooler dropped out of her sports competition when she was given the bib number '666.' The devout Christian considers the number to be a sign of the devil. The race organizers refused to give her another number, so she quit, saying: "I didn't want to risk my relationship with God."
1. I read somewhere recently that the number '666' was a mis-translation. It might have been '777' or '999.' What about all the books and pamphlets and sermons alerting us to '666?' Wow! So that's why we are all so messed up!
2. When I was 11 years old, I worked part-time at a circus and learned that when you throw a ring to go around a peg labeled '66' and expected a prize, the one who ran the site would pull the peg, turn it over, and show it as '99' which was not a winner. Same thing with '18' and '81. etc.
While we are at it... after everyone left the circus grounds except us workers, the door on the iron lung would open and the girl who was inside would climb out, yell for a drink and saunter off to her trailer to rest until the next day. (Some of you may not know that an iron lung was used by people with polio. Polio was eradicated in the U.S. a long time ago, but when I was 11, it was still a scourge and many people spent their lives enclosed in an "iron lung." To see someone inside, caused most viewers to dig deep into their wallets.)
..................................................
Sex: Nudism
This week's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! radio show mentioned a new fun thing to do in Australia:
Nude Golf.
They mentioned that this would give new meaning to the phrase: "How's it swingin'?"
Or, in case of "The Blob"... i.e., djt: "How's it hangin'?"
..................................................
OK OK here are a few nudist notes:
A problem at a nudist wedding is where does the best man keep the ring? One might suggest using tape. And just who is considered the "best" man anyway?
Another problem at a nudist wedding is where to put the white carnation.
......................................................
OK OK here is another sex item to consider:
A ninety year old man married a 20 year old girl. He died on the wedding night, and it took the undertaker three days to wipe the smile off of his face.
.......................................
enough!
Saturday, February 23, 2019
Our Divided Country
Since djt became president, our country has become more and more divided .. in my opinion.
As an example, two of my long time friends both insulted me this week, and made me have to defend myself.
#1. This gentleman has many great accomplishments and I have looked up to him for many years. But I have not liked his militant politics. Everything is black and white with him, and he is on the white horse.. and Democrats are on the black horse. But that is ok. It is what he believes in and I can handle that.
This week, he said that even though I am a "Mensa" person, I am dumb to be a "Lib." For one thing, how does he know I am a "Lib?" Because I can't stand djt and the Republicans who are afraid of him? I am not a Democrat, by the way. I am an Independent. I had to declare myself to be a Democrat to vote in a recent Maryland primary. If the next set of primary folks look better on the Republican side, I will change my recorded stance in order to vote in their primary.
However, my take on gentleman #1, is that he will never accept anything said or done by the Democratic party, and that is sad.
#2. This gentleman has been a friend for many years, so I was surprised to get his message accusing me of being a "monster" because I approved abortion.
In 1934, my mother could have chosen to abort me and solve a problem; however, she did not, and I am eternally grateful to her for that.
So.. why does this gentleman think that I approve abortion? Once again, I'm afraid that his militancy in that regard causes him to jump to conclusions. Also.. does he know that I am an Independent voter, and would that influence him in any way.
..... There you have it.. two nice guys who hate people who are on their opposing political party. I feel very sorry for them. But... I think that this negativity comes from trump. In fact, I am sure of it.
Question of the Year: Why are members of the Republican Senate afraid of djt? Is there really a Mafia-type situation run out of the White House? Agnew ran his bribery scams out of the White House. Also.. president Harding.. and probably a couple of others. Well... it is time for it to stop before our country is debased completely.
It's time to make dirty-tricksters pay for their crimes. Roger Stone; Rush Limbaugh; Newt Gingrich; .....
See, this negativity has rubbed off on me. For shame.
Meanwhile, today's The Week Magazine reported on something that is probably getting more common every day: Complete Negativity: like this:
"The editor of the Linden, Alabama Democrat-Reporter, has called for the Ku Klux Klan to 'ride again' and clear Washington of Democrats." He said that he hoped the Klan would "get the hemp ropes out, loop them over a tall limb, and hang all of them."
My God! What have we become?!
As an example, two of my long time friends both insulted me this week, and made me have to defend myself.
#1. This gentleman has many great accomplishments and I have looked up to him for many years. But I have not liked his militant politics. Everything is black and white with him, and he is on the white horse.. and Democrats are on the black horse. But that is ok. It is what he believes in and I can handle that.
This week, he said that even though I am a "Mensa" person, I am dumb to be a "Lib." For one thing, how does he know I am a "Lib?" Because I can't stand djt and the Republicans who are afraid of him? I am not a Democrat, by the way. I am an Independent. I had to declare myself to be a Democrat to vote in a recent Maryland primary. If the next set of primary folks look better on the Republican side, I will change my recorded stance in order to vote in their primary.
However, my take on gentleman #1, is that he will never accept anything said or done by the Democratic party, and that is sad.
#2. This gentleman has been a friend for many years, so I was surprised to get his message accusing me of being a "monster" because I approved abortion.
In 1934, my mother could have chosen to abort me and solve a problem; however, she did not, and I am eternally grateful to her for that.
So.. why does this gentleman think that I approve abortion? Once again, I'm afraid that his militancy in that regard causes him to jump to conclusions. Also.. does he know that I am an Independent voter, and would that influence him in any way.
..... There you have it.. two nice guys who hate people who are on their opposing political party. I feel very sorry for them. But... I think that this negativity comes from trump. In fact, I am sure of it.
Question of the Year: Why are members of the Republican Senate afraid of djt? Is there really a Mafia-type situation run out of the White House? Agnew ran his bribery scams out of the White House. Also.. president Harding.. and probably a couple of others. Well... it is time for it to stop before our country is debased completely.
It's time to make dirty-tricksters pay for their crimes. Roger Stone; Rush Limbaugh; Newt Gingrich; .....
See, this negativity has rubbed off on me. For shame.
Meanwhile, today's The Week Magazine reported on something that is probably getting more common every day: Complete Negativity: like this:
"The editor of the Linden, Alabama Democrat-Reporter, has called for the Ku Klux Klan to 'ride again' and clear Washington of Democrats." He said that he hoped the Klan would "get the hemp ropes out, loop them over a tall limb, and hang all of them."
My God! What have we become?!
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
THE 3 "NO NO'S"
REVISITING A 2019 RANT ABOUT THE 3 "NO NO'S"
Religion: The Pope
In 2013, Sarah Palin was monopolizing the "scene" and according to The Week Magazine, she "expressed her disapproval of Pope Francis, saying he's 'taken me aback' with his statements, which she described as 'kind of liberal.'"
When was the last time you heard someone say "aback?" Sarah had lots to say back then. However, after she had almost destroyed the Republican Party, she hasn't been heard of much. At least, I haven't heard much about her.
(The paragraph above could also count as a Politics entry.)
Politics: trump talk
Danika Fears had this published in the New York Post some time ago. They were quotes from our fearless leader.
"It is not 'freedom of the press' when newspapers and others are allowed to say and write whatever they want even if it is completely false!"
Who, besides you, says it's false?
"I grew up in New York City, a town with different races, religions, and peoples. It breeds tolerance."
Did you know any black people except those who lived in the slums you rented out? And were you acquainted with any Moslems?"
"How stupid are the people of Iowa?"
Well, Iowans must be kind of stupid to have voted for you.
Sex: Censorship
The Week Magazine reports in 2017 that Facebook told an Italian art historian to remove images of Neptune from her page, because his genitals are showing. The photograph of Neptune was deemed to be "explicitly sexual."
"Sexual" author Frank Harris said something in his "Life" work about this kind of censorship. I don't have the quote handy but I'll try to bring it back into my memory and paraphrase is:
Curates and prudes are merrily 'going their rounds', ("killing" our appreciation of art) by binding up genitals with "bounds" (fig leafs.)
Religion: Marriage (and Sex)
Susan Squire writes in her book: I Don't: A Contrarian History of Marriage about Martin Luther.
"The father of the Protestant Revolution argued passionately against Rome's idea of marriage as a necessary but evil 'dumping ground' for sex, thus apparently laying 'the theoretical groundwork' for gender equality."
I continue to be amazed at the statements made by Martin Luther. I do like the fact that he loved his beer, and loved his girl friend almost as much.
Politics: Security for djt
The Week Magazine reported in 2017 that Security measures in Trump Tower can cost up to $500,000 per day! Real estate brokers are using that estimate and advertising that condos in the Tower are now the safest in Manhattan.
Sex: Circus Tents
The Saturday Evening Post reported that "in a 2015 auction, one successful bidder paid $16,500 for a pair of Queen Victoria's underpants. They had a 45-inch waist."
"We are not amused!"
Sunday, February 10, 2019
Politics, Sex and Religion
The Toastmasters Organization says that there are three things one should never speak about with others: Politics, Sex and Religion. However, those are the three most spoken about topics for human beings.. even within the clergy.
So here goes. I will try to quickly cover the three topics. (I don't have much time today.) Perhaps I will make a habit of it.
Politics:
Xi Jinping: and China's new role in the world. (The Week, November 2017)
"Xi has made references to the declining role of the U.S. and its unpredictable president. As America withdraws from the world, China is moving to fill the void. "China will be increasingly disinclined to accept international norms or rules it did not create."
I wonder why trump feels that he can get the better of Xi in a trade war. He's like a babe in the woods about to be eaten by a hungry wolf. Our soy bean farmers are already feeling the pinch of trump's stupid tariffs. trump will bankrupt us yet.. don't the republicans understand that he is a business failure and a con man? It's very clear to me and to all of our (now former) allies around the world.
,,,,,
Sex:
No longer boys and girls? (The Week September 2016)
"A New Mexico elementary school principal instructed teachers never to call students "boys and girls" under the school's new Gender Identity Procedure Directive." Teachers were supposed to use gender-neutral terms, such as "students" for the kids in her school. Somebody squealed to parents and they raised hell. The school board apologized and saved face by blaming the principal.
The Boys Club.. what would that be called? The Boy Scouts? Girl Scouts? Silly.. silly.
I read an article in the Washington Post the other day, in which the writer used all gender neutral terms.. including saying "they" instead of "he" or "she." It sounded dumb. Of course, he said that he did it because some boys used to be girls and vice versa, so he wasn't sure of the proper gender word to use. I would suggest that you use the gender word that the person wants you to use, regardless of how they look.
.....
Religion:
Martin Luther did what? (The New Yorker July 2017)
In an article about the problems Jews have had with anti-semitism over the centuries, I found the following article extract amazing:
"... Martin Luther, in Germany, urged the Protestant faithful to raze the Jews' synagogues, school, and houses to forbid their rabbis on pain of death to teach, and to burn all Jewish prayer books and Talmudic writings."
Luther was just acting like other leaders of the time. This was when Ghetto's were formed. I assume that Lutherans have now decided that anti-semitism is not a nice thing.. at least I hope so. I live at Carroll Lutheran Village, and many of our neighbors (including Elaine herself) are Lutherans. I have not heard anything bad said about Jews or even any other group of people as long as I have lived here.
.................................................
So here goes. I will try to quickly cover the three topics. (I don't have much time today.) Perhaps I will make a habit of it.
Politics:
Xi Jinping: and China's new role in the world. (The Week, November 2017)
"Xi has made references to the declining role of the U.S. and its unpredictable president. As America withdraws from the world, China is moving to fill the void. "China will be increasingly disinclined to accept international norms or rules it did not create."
I wonder why trump feels that he can get the better of Xi in a trade war. He's like a babe in the woods about to be eaten by a hungry wolf. Our soy bean farmers are already feeling the pinch of trump's stupid tariffs. trump will bankrupt us yet.. don't the republicans understand that he is a business failure and a con man? It's very clear to me and to all of our (now former) allies around the world.
,,,,,
Sex:
No longer boys and girls? (The Week September 2016)
"A New Mexico elementary school principal instructed teachers never to call students "boys and girls" under the school's new Gender Identity Procedure Directive." Teachers were supposed to use gender-neutral terms, such as "students" for the kids in her school. Somebody squealed to parents and they raised hell. The school board apologized and saved face by blaming the principal.
The Boys Club.. what would that be called? The Boy Scouts? Girl Scouts? Silly.. silly.
I read an article in the Washington Post the other day, in which the writer used all gender neutral terms.. including saying "they" instead of "he" or "she." It sounded dumb. Of course, he said that he did it because some boys used to be girls and vice versa, so he wasn't sure of the proper gender word to use. I would suggest that you use the gender word that the person wants you to use, regardless of how they look.
.....
Religion:
Martin Luther did what? (The New Yorker July 2017)
In an article about the problems Jews have had with anti-semitism over the centuries, I found the following article extract amazing:
"... Martin Luther, in Germany, urged the Protestant faithful to raze the Jews' synagogues, school, and houses to forbid their rabbis on pain of death to teach, and to burn all Jewish prayer books and Talmudic writings."
Luther was just acting like other leaders of the time. This was when Ghetto's were formed. I assume that Lutherans have now decided that anti-semitism is not a nice thing.. at least I hope so. I live at Carroll Lutheran Village, and many of our neighbors (including Elaine herself) are Lutherans. I have not heard anything bad said about Jews or even any other group of people as long as I have lived here.
.................................................
Thursday, February 7, 2019
Random Thoughts
Just for fun, I randomly selected 5 items from my Blog-preparation file. I will try to comment on each of them, so that someday in the future, my Great Great Grandsons will be able to read them and figure out what strange thoughts occupied my mind, back there in the Dark Ages.
1. A Sting: The Week reported that a Canadian motorist was ticketed for removing his seat belt so that he could reach for his wallet in order to give money to a homeless person on the side of the road. Unfortunately for the motorist, that "homeless person" was really an undercover cop and gave him a $175 fine!
Boo! Boo! Dirty pool! In Canada too? I hope that the motorist fought the fine in court and that the judge gave the fine to the nasty cop instead. IMHO.
.....
2. Neanderthals: Abigail Tucker writes that "Humans tend to dismiss Neanderthals as dimwits, yet the brains of our doomed cousins were actually larger than our own."
"... humans have barrel-shaped chests and narrow pelvises, Neanderthals had bell-shaped torsos with wide pelvises."
Miki Ben-Dor, a Tel Aviv University archaeologist thinks that the difference between the two types was caused by the food they ate. In the colder places where Neanderthals lived, there was not much fruit and vegetable matter to be eaten, so they consumed mainly animal meat, made of fat and protein. These foods may have caused their livers and kidneys to enlarge, and cause their chests and pelvises to widen to accommodate for their increased size. The skinnier, fruit eating humans were able to run rings around those fat guys.
I wonder about belly fat in women. Women usually do not have big bellies; however, in some families that is not the case. Some female French Canadian family ancestors had paunches; and some female Yankee family ancestors had paunches. Sad for my progeny who have relatives from both families. Could there be some Neanderthal blood in the family tree?
.....
3. Book to Write: I have a strong urge to write a book. I think of plots all the time. Here is one of my possible creative endeavors:
Fangs for the Memory
A hopeless romantic recalls his days in a snake-infected jungle.
.....
4. Talking to the Dead: Muhammad A. Ahmad wrote an interesting piece in the Saturday Evening Post. He suggested that with our current tech knowledge, we could create a simulation of a deceased person that we could converse with.
Not so far fetched: Way back in the 1970's, I wrote a computer program version of Eliza. The original Eliza was made to fool people into thinking "she" was really talking to you. I tried to get my Eliza to do the same. I programmed "her" to respond to questions typed on a console.. but the responses were tricky. For instance, if someone typed: "What will the weather be tomorrow?" My Eliza would respond: "What would you like the weather to be tomorrow?"
If someone typed "Who was George Washington?" My Eliza would respond: "Who do you think George Washington was?"
Get the picture?
I also had stock answers to some questions. If someone typed: "What day is it?" Eliza would refer to a built in "date app" (although computer routines were not called "apps" then) and print: "Today's date is.....(whatever it was)" So.. it's all tricks.. however, lots of people believe that simulated responses are real and their computer has passed the Turing test.
(This reminds me of the time that I was running a large scale computer test on one of the many gigantic systems at the Social Security Administration. My secretary knew where I was and called me there to let my know that analyst Cobb Addabo wanted to talk to me. I told her to send Cobb down and we could talk while my test ran.
Prior to Mr. Addabo appearing, I programmed a little routine into the console, and when he showed up I asked him if he thought that computers could think. He said that was silly. I told him that this computer was able to communicate with him... all he had to do was type in "Hello, Computer"..
Saying again that it was silly, he nonetheless typed in "Hello, Computer." I told him to then press a button, and when he did so, the computer roared for a second and a message typed out on the console: "Hi, Cobb!" Cobb almost had a heart attack.)
OK.. I'm convinced that with recorded videos of the deceased, voice recordings of the deceased, and with some tricky programming, a person may end up with simulations of the deceased. Perhaps a good sculptor could even make a nice soft robot copy of the deceased to encase that simulated material.
.....
5. A Sweet Mystery. The New York Post (not always the most reliable newspaper) recently reported that a large amount of Skittles candies fell out of a truck en route to a cattle feed station in Dodge County, Wisconsin. Skittles manufacturer, Mars Inc says they don't know anything at all about the spill or where the candy came from, and why it was going to be fed to cattle. (Does your steak taste sweeter lately?)
Perhaps the candy actually came from the planet Mars. I've always thought that humans were allowed to evolve so that at some time in the future, Martians could come down and help themselves to plenty of high protein creatures. Their planet seems rather barren. Martians are obviously living underground and eating mushrooms, so a nice supply of humans might be their means to resume getting enough nutrition to come out of the depths.
(Speaking of steak, I love filet mignon and order it at least twice a week from our dining venue. However, in honor of the Year of the Pig, instead of filet, they are substituting duck. I've never tasted duck, but one billion Chinese folks can't be wrong. They like it.)
.....
Enough of this nonsense!
.....
1. A Sting: The Week reported that a Canadian motorist was ticketed for removing his seat belt so that he could reach for his wallet in order to give money to a homeless person on the side of the road. Unfortunately for the motorist, that "homeless person" was really an undercover cop and gave him a $175 fine!
Boo! Boo! Dirty pool! In Canada too? I hope that the motorist fought the fine in court and that the judge gave the fine to the nasty cop instead. IMHO.
.....
2. Neanderthals: Abigail Tucker writes that "Humans tend to dismiss Neanderthals as dimwits, yet the brains of our doomed cousins were actually larger than our own."
"... humans have barrel-shaped chests and narrow pelvises, Neanderthals had bell-shaped torsos with wide pelvises."
Miki Ben-Dor, a Tel Aviv University archaeologist thinks that the difference between the two types was caused by the food they ate. In the colder places where Neanderthals lived, there was not much fruit and vegetable matter to be eaten, so they consumed mainly animal meat, made of fat and protein. These foods may have caused their livers and kidneys to enlarge, and cause their chests and pelvises to widen to accommodate for their increased size. The skinnier, fruit eating humans were able to run rings around those fat guys.
I wonder about belly fat in women. Women usually do not have big bellies; however, in some families that is not the case. Some female French Canadian family ancestors had paunches; and some female Yankee family ancestors had paunches. Sad for my progeny who have relatives from both families. Could there be some Neanderthal blood in the family tree?
.....
3. Book to Write: I have a strong urge to write a book. I think of plots all the time. Here is one of my possible creative endeavors:
Fangs for the Memory
A hopeless romantic recalls his days in a snake-infected jungle.
.....
4. Talking to the Dead: Muhammad A. Ahmad wrote an interesting piece in the Saturday Evening Post. He suggested that with our current tech knowledge, we could create a simulation of a deceased person that we could converse with.
Not so far fetched: Way back in the 1970's, I wrote a computer program version of Eliza. The original Eliza was made to fool people into thinking "she" was really talking to you. I tried to get my Eliza to do the same. I programmed "her" to respond to questions typed on a console.. but the responses were tricky. For instance, if someone typed: "What will the weather be tomorrow?" My Eliza would respond: "What would you like the weather to be tomorrow?"
If someone typed "Who was George Washington?" My Eliza would respond: "Who do you think George Washington was?"
Get the picture?
I also had stock answers to some questions. If someone typed: "What day is it?" Eliza would refer to a built in "date app" (although computer routines were not called "apps" then) and print: "Today's date is.....(whatever it was)" So.. it's all tricks.. however, lots of people believe that simulated responses are real and their computer has passed the Turing test.
(This reminds me of the time that I was running a large scale computer test on one of the many gigantic systems at the Social Security Administration. My secretary knew where I was and called me there to let my know that analyst Cobb Addabo wanted to talk to me. I told her to send Cobb down and we could talk while my test ran.
Prior to Mr. Addabo appearing, I programmed a little routine into the console, and when he showed up I asked him if he thought that computers could think. He said that was silly. I told him that this computer was able to communicate with him... all he had to do was type in "Hello, Computer"..
Saying again that it was silly, he nonetheless typed in "Hello, Computer." I told him to then press a button, and when he did so, the computer roared for a second and a message typed out on the console: "Hi, Cobb!" Cobb almost had a heart attack.)
OK.. I'm convinced that with recorded videos of the deceased, voice recordings of the deceased, and with some tricky programming, a person may end up with simulations of the deceased. Perhaps a good sculptor could even make a nice soft robot copy of the deceased to encase that simulated material.
.....
5. A Sweet Mystery. The New York Post (not always the most reliable newspaper) recently reported that a large amount of Skittles candies fell out of a truck en route to a cattle feed station in Dodge County, Wisconsin. Skittles manufacturer, Mars Inc says they don't know anything at all about the spill or where the candy came from, and why it was going to be fed to cattle. (Does your steak taste sweeter lately?)
Perhaps the candy actually came from the planet Mars. I've always thought that humans were allowed to evolve so that at some time in the future, Martians could come down and help themselves to plenty of high protein creatures. Their planet seems rather barren. Martians are obviously living underground and eating mushrooms, so a nice supply of humans might be their means to resume getting enough nutrition to come out of the depths.
(Speaking of steak, I love filet mignon and order it at least twice a week from our dining venue. However, in honor of the Year of the Pig, instead of filet, they are substituting duck. I've never tasted duck, but one billion Chinese folks can't be wrong. They like it.)
.....
Enough of this nonsense!
.....
Wednesday, February 6, 2019
Words
I love to learn new words, in English, Spanish, German, French, Italian, and even Hungarian. I learn most of them from the crosswords that I love to do. American crossword puzzles, for the most part, are straight-forward definition-based. Spanish and French crossword puzzles are quite easy, American types. German puzzles are quite varied and fun to do. British cryptic crossword puzzles bend your mind and, regardless of scientists saying that puzzles do not ward off Altzheimers, I think they are wrong when it comes to cryptics. Hungarian puzzles have me stumped.. because I am having a very hard time with the language. It may take me a few years to be able to do even one of them. We'll see.
When I can, I purchase German puzzles at an international delicatessen. I purchased French and Spanish puzzles on the Internet. One of my programmers at the Social Security Administration brought me Italian puzzle books when she returned after a long Government assignment in Italy. My Hungarian puzzles were brought to me by Elaine's daughter, Emily. She and her family lived in Europe for a year.
I just purchased a Great Courses seminar called "words." I'm looking forward to 24 30-minute lessons on word origins and usage. This will be lots of fun for me.
I boxed up a couple hundred Enigma's and sent them to RON, a fellow member of the National Puzzlers League (NPL). Enigma is the monthly puzzle magazine published by NPL. The copies I sent to RON are mostly pristine, because I do the puzzles on separate sheets of puzzles.
RON is a Nom. Everyone in the NPL has a nom. Mine is AHAB. (you know, New Bedford and the whale thing.)
.....
"The Romans had a word for it." Yes.. and here is a little of how they used words.
Marcus Aurelius: "Do not forget: a man needs little to lead a happy life."
Ovid: "Everywhere chance reigns, just cast out your line and where you least expect it, there waits a fish in the swirling water."
Terrance: "An easy task becomes difficult when you do it with reluctance."
,,,,,
The word IRONIC is often misused. The Readers Digest offered this information on irony.
"Strictly speaking, irony involves a reversal. A traffic cop who has 13 unpaid traffic tickets is ironic because that is not expected. Rain on a wedding day may be dampening and a tall man named Tallman might be coincidental... but it's properly ironic only if the rain falls on a sun festival or if Mr. Tallman is short."
.....
Interesting (at least to me) words and phrases as pseudonyms encountered in crossword puzzles:
Every Mother's Son ... A 1967 NYC Rock Band extracted this phrase from A Midsummer Night's Dream and used it for their name.
OUIDA ... Pseudonym of English novelist Maria Louise de la Ramee. He wrote A Dog of Flanders.
ERTE ,,, Pseudonym of Romain de Tirtoff (1892-1990) Russian born French artist and designer. He is known as the "father of art deco," and the "oriental ballet" designer.
.....
Here are a few mis-used words, as submitted to the Mensa Bulletin in September 1976.
Barnett Shaw: assiduous Big in the hips.
Phil Beggs: horary A place for ladies of the evening.
Lawrence Perkins: pismire Swampy ground used as a latrine.
midrash A skin rash over or near the belly.
.....
Here is some more inanity from 1976 Mensa:
"Tell a man that his son is a 'cheeky young pup' and he just grins."
"Tell a man that his son is an 'insolent son of a bitch,' and you have a fight on your hands."
The British call women "birds".. so:
Call one your 'pigeon' or 'turtle dove,' and get a nice kiss.
Call one a 'crow' and get a nice slap.
Tell a woman she has a well-built chassis, and get that nice kiss.
Tell a woman she's built like the back of a bus, and get that well-deserved slap.
Likewise:
''Shapely filly' vs 'a bit horsey.'
'Pretty young heifer' vs 'a young cow.'
.....
Some Interesting Signs:
"Ears pierced while you wait."
"God helps those who help themselves." vs "God help those who help themselves."
"Road wet when it rains."
.....
Fellow Mensan, Richard Lederer, is a word expert and his articles are very well written. I will try to steal some examples in the future for your enjoyment.
.....
When I can, I purchase German puzzles at an international delicatessen. I purchased French and Spanish puzzles on the Internet. One of my programmers at the Social Security Administration brought me Italian puzzle books when she returned after a long Government assignment in Italy. My Hungarian puzzles were brought to me by Elaine's daughter, Emily. She and her family lived in Europe for a year.
I just purchased a Great Courses seminar called "words." I'm looking forward to 24 30-minute lessons on word origins and usage. This will be lots of fun for me.
I boxed up a couple hundred Enigma's and sent them to RON, a fellow member of the National Puzzlers League (NPL). Enigma is the monthly puzzle magazine published by NPL. The copies I sent to RON are mostly pristine, because I do the puzzles on separate sheets of puzzles.
RON is a Nom. Everyone in the NPL has a nom. Mine is AHAB. (you know, New Bedford and the whale thing.)
.....
"The Romans had a word for it." Yes.. and here is a little of how they used words.
Marcus Aurelius: "Do not forget: a man needs little to lead a happy life."
Ovid: "Everywhere chance reigns, just cast out your line and where you least expect it, there waits a fish in the swirling water."
Terrance: "An easy task becomes difficult when you do it with reluctance."
,,,,,
The word IRONIC is often misused. The Readers Digest offered this information on irony.
"Strictly speaking, irony involves a reversal. A traffic cop who has 13 unpaid traffic tickets is ironic because that is not expected. Rain on a wedding day may be dampening and a tall man named Tallman might be coincidental... but it's properly ironic only if the rain falls on a sun festival or if Mr. Tallman is short."
.....
Interesting (at least to me) words and phrases as pseudonyms encountered in crossword puzzles:
Every Mother's Son ... A 1967 NYC Rock Band extracted this phrase from A Midsummer Night's Dream and used it for their name.
OUIDA ... Pseudonym of English novelist Maria Louise de la Ramee. He wrote A Dog of Flanders.
ERTE ,,, Pseudonym of Romain de Tirtoff (1892-1990) Russian born French artist and designer. He is known as the "father of art deco," and the "oriental ballet" designer.
.....
Here are a few mis-used words, as submitted to the Mensa Bulletin in September 1976.
Barnett Shaw: assiduous Big in the hips.
Phil Beggs: horary A place for ladies of the evening.
Lawrence Perkins: pismire Swampy ground used as a latrine.
midrash A skin rash over or near the belly.
.....
Here is some more inanity from 1976 Mensa:
"Tell a man that his son is a 'cheeky young pup' and he just grins."
"Tell a man that his son is an 'insolent son of a bitch,' and you have a fight on your hands."
The British call women "birds".. so:
Call one your 'pigeon' or 'turtle dove,' and get a nice kiss.
Call one a 'crow' and get a nice slap.
Tell a woman she has a well-built chassis, and get that nice kiss.
Tell a woman she's built like the back of a bus, and get that well-deserved slap.
Likewise:
''Shapely filly' vs 'a bit horsey.'
'Pretty young heifer' vs 'a young cow.'
.....
Some Interesting Signs:
"Ears pierced while you wait."
"God helps those who help themselves." vs "God help those who help themselves."
"Road wet when it rains."
.....
Fellow Mensan, Richard Lederer, is a word expert and his articles are very well written. I will try to steal some examples in the future for your enjoyment.
.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)