SUMMOARSTUFF

You're out, You're out, You're out, you're out!

How many "outs" in an inning?  Three?  Yes, ordinarily, but in a recent baseball game between the Pirates and the Nationals, the "bizarre" tagging four-outs rule was encountered.

Please don't ask me to explain this weird rule. Just check out MLB rule 5.09(c)(4) if you are curious.

Joyce the Trickster

You all know how I love Ulysses by James Joyce. Its a little difficult to read, but it rewards the reader who pushes through it.

As an answer to his critics who reported that the novel had too many literary allusions, Joyce wrote another massive novel called "Finnegan's Wake," which was filled with such allusions, plus jokes, word play in several languages and tricks.

I tried to read it years ago and was so stymied by page 1 that I couldn't continue.  I may try again if I can fit it on my Kindle.  Please let me know if you have experienced this wondrous book.

National Comedy Hall of Fame

Located for some time at Holiday, Florida, this Hall of Fame has had lots of well-known members, such as 

Abbott and Costello

Laurel and Hardy

Milton Berle

Minnie Pearl

Charlie Chaplin

George Kirby

Jimmie Durante

W.C. Fields

George Carlin

Sid Caesar

Timmie Rogers

Lucille Ball

Moms Mabley

Jack Benny

Red Skelton

Burns and Allen

Ernie Kovacs

Flip Wilson

Richard Pryor

Jackie Gleason

Senor Wences

Bob Newhart

Jackie Nason

Mort Sahl

Norm Crosby

Mimi Hines and Phil Ford

David Letterman

How many of these comedians have you not seen or heard perform?  I've seen or heard all but two, but then, I'm an old dude.

This reminds me of a time when I gave a speech at a Baltimore Mensa Convention.  I figured that the attendees were acquainted with all of the jokes I was going to tell, so I decided to just give the punchlines.  I bombed.  Not one person laughed,

Apparently, they wanted to hear the whole setup of each joke leading to the punchline, even though they had heard it many times before.  

By the way, I believe that all jokes are in the public domain.  So, go for it!  Our troubled Country needs some humor.

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 LIBRARY NOTES

Six years ago, I wrote about an interesting concept. I will resurrect my notes and provide them to you with some modification.

The Total Library

In an essay in 1939, Argentine writer Jorge Luis Borges (1899 - 1986) discussed an imaginary library that would hold not every book ever written, but every book that could be written.  Remember all those monkeys at typewriters?

Smithsonian magazine (in 2016) writes that the "Library of Babel" exists on the computer of Janathan Basile in Washington, DC.  Basile is only 30 years old, and has figured that such a library would require storage space somewhere in the vicinity of 10 to the power of two million, and he has developed a program that runs when someone plugs in text at libraryofbabel.info. "The program displays all of the pages on which that text would appear if the library were real."

(Does this sound like Google?)

Incidentally, Borges also wrote a short story in 1941 about this subject: "The Library of Babel", "La biblioteca de babel." 

Jonathan Basile is pursuing a PhD at Emory University in Georgia.  He has written about the Babel Library:  Tar for Mortar:, "The Library of Babel" and the Dream of Totality.

I accessed this subject for Mensa.  Deep stuff!

(The website address shown above no longer exists.

New Bedford, Massachusetts Libraries

I've already talked about the potent little library at the First Baptist Church and how it introduced me to a love of books.

The New Bedford Free Public Library was situated about a block away and it was a marvelous place to find almost any book ever published.  This was possible because of a massive bequeath of Sylvia Ann Howland, daughter of the richest lady who ever lived, Hettie Green.  I spent many many pleasant hours looking through their book collections, especially the incunabula which was out in the open for access by anyone.

My wonderful sister-in-law, Janine was a librarian for that institution for years.  She knows all there is to know about libraries.

Baltimore, Maryland's Famous Libraries

The Enoch Pratt Free Library was established by that Massachusetts-born philanthropist in 1882. 

An H.L. Mencken Room was opened in the library in 1956 to house personal papers, books and articles about the famous Baltimore wit.

An Edgar Allen Poe Room was established in the library in 1923 to house everything known about this famous  Baltimore author.

George Peabody Library

Established from funds given freely by another Massachusetts philanthropist in the 19th century, "The most beautiful library in the country, if not the world, a cathedral of books!"

This part of Johns Hopkins University is free to all for hours each day.

Watch out!  Some politicians are starting to ban certain books.  Something that Hitler and his minions did.  Don't let that happen! 

 MORE OFF=BEAT NEWS

Yesterday I got caught up with one new item from "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" and didn't get to some other items, such as:

Don't use "the!"

In 1986 The Ohio State's logo was changed from OSU to TUSO to show "the" in the logo. They didn't like their logo being mixed up with those of other colleges like Oregon State University or Oklahoma State University. 

Back in 1878, Ohio legislators actually added "the" to the Ohio State University name to let everyone know it was the best college in the U.S.

To make sure that other OSU logos didn't add "the," Ohio State had the word "the" trademarked!

Are you confused?  Me too.

"A whole lotta stuff goin' on!"

Researchers studying microscopic mites that live on human faces have found that Demodex folliculorum and Demodex brevis are very modest about their sexual activity, waiting until their hosts fall asleep at night before performing their mating rituals.

"I am not a robot."

A CAPTCHA is a type of test that requires interaction to make sure you are a human - a kind of Turing Test.

Apparently, robots can now beat the test and CAPTCHA is about to be discontinued.

Stop - I'm dizzy.

The WEEZERS band has issued a record that you tap and hold in your hand as you spin around in a circle to hear the song.  The faster you spin, (always to the right, as the Earth spins) the better the song sounds.  When you stop spinning, the music stops.  

Clever?

It had to happen.

Due to overwhelming requests, the French Ketchup Company has developed a Frenchicle.  This is like a popsicle but with that beloved ketchup flavor.

The Crane Position

Scientists have devised a test that may indicate your longevity prospects. 

People under the age of 70 are asked to stand on  one leg for 10 seconds.  Do that, and be assured of a long life.

What about ballerinas?

 

New Insult

Australians are very creative with their insults.  Here is a new one:

"You have a face like a half-sucked melon!"

Naughty, naughty!

Reverend Clive Evans, Vicar in Hereford was censured for performing a baptism while in his underwear.  He also "touched the bottoms of a woman and girl."

A Church of England representative remarked: "We are not amused."

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OFFBEAT NEWS

This week's presentation of "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" was filled with interesting information that might not be covered in your local newspaper, for instance:

Popular Nudist Sport

Pickleball is a sport similar to tennis or ping pong.  It was developed as a game that would not be too strenuous for senior citizens.  (Recent documents define "Senior Citizen" as someone older than 54.)

Recently nudists have taken up the sport and it has become quite popular, especially in Cypress Grove and Tampa Bay in sunny Florida.

This begs a lot of questions that I won't go into here.

Speaking about nudism, Nantucket Island, of all places has passed some type of ordinance that will allow anyone to walk around naked from the waist up.  Perhaps now new limericks can be created for the "man from Nantucket."

This reminds me of some questions related to nude weddings:

Just who is the best man?

Where does the best man keep the wedding ring? 

And I am also reminded about the time that my fiancée and I were asked to deliver something important to the brother of a friend who was vacationing at a cottage on Clark's Cove, near New Bedford.  He was a gifted musician somehow connected to the Boston Pops.

We pounded on the door of the cottage because loud music was emanating from within.  After a while our prey answered the door with an instrument in his hand.

He was completely nude and his musical comrades seated behind him were all naked as well.

This also reminds me of the time when we ferried relatives across the country from Massachusetts to California. My beloved aunt and her daughter immediately consulted newspaper ads for rental property.  One sounded promising.  When they knocked on the renter's door, a middle-aged naked man appeared.  My relatives decided right then to return to Massachusetts as soon as possible.

This all reminds me of another relative, my artistic second cousin, who on a pretext of meeting me at my YMCA job and treating me to lunch, sneaked down to the basement locker room near where I worked and was discovered drawing pictures of the naked men.

ENOUGH?  I started out prepared to list some news from my favorite show, but I got side-tracked.  Sorry.

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 BOOKS  -  I LOVE THEM

The latest Reader's Digest related an interesting  story from a lady who got her college equivalency education from a booklist.

A teacher (Mrs. Clark) realized that a certain student would not be able to attend college, so she developed a list of books that she thought would give the student a better knowledge of life than she might ever have gained through college lectures.

The list contained the titles of 153 suggested books, starting with Bullfinch's Mythology and ending with The Alexandria Quartet by Lawrence Durrell.  The student was able to read them all throughout a long life.

I have always thought of myself as "well-read" but I am ashamed to say that I have only read 49 of the recommended books.

My book reading experience came about when I entered the small library at New Bedford's First Baptist Church.  Before then, my reading diet consisted mainly of comic books, or as we called them "Funny Books." 

I picked up a copy of one of Frank Baum's OZ stories and I was hooked.  I never looked at another comic book again.  The printed words in bound books allowed you to think and form pictures in your brain.

After I exhausted all of the OZ books, I attacked all of the Hardy Boys detective stories. My lunch recess from school was time when I would devour  books rather than devour my lunch.

The only book I remember from my Grammar School education was "The History of New Bedford, Massachusetts."

My family had an "itsy bitsy" library.  There were a couple of books about "Female Trouble" (written by men, of course.)  I didn't dig into those books because the pictures made me nauseous.

There was a book of Emerson's Essays.  I read them, but I think I was too young to appreciate them.

There was one book that I enjoyed and read a few times.  It was called "The Progress of Julius" by Daphne Du Maurier. Now it is known simply as "Julius."  Julius Levy is a nasty scoundrel who kills his cat as a boy and later his own daughter, because if he can't keep the "things" he loves, nobody else can have them. 

This seems to me now to be an antisemitic novel, but I didn't realize it when I was a child.

In High School I made a point of not reading my book assignments.  Instead, I would read books like "1984" and "Animal Farm" by George Orwell, "Brave New World" by Aldus Huxley. everything by Mark Twain, "To Kill a Mocking Bird" by Harper Lee, and (of course) "Moby Dick" by Herman Melville.

One strangely exciting book made a great impression on me and triggered a love for the exotic "She" by H. Rider Haggard. 

In Germany, I wasted hours and hours reading the 10-volume novel "Jean-Christophe" by Romain Rolland in English.  I think it numbed my brain because I can't recall even one word of the text.

I know, once again - TMI.

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 Elaine is home and our wonderful helper is back from Ocean City.  I'm not lonely any more.  I hope that you have someone in your life to care for.  It keeps you young.

An Ad for a Friendly Magazine

I'm sure many of you subscribe to Reader's Digest.  I've had a subscription since 1954.  My current copy comes in large print, to help my tired old eyes to see a little better.

I do have macular degeneration in my right eye.  I can see ok with that eye except for the large black spot that lives in its middle.  For years I suffered through painful eye injections.  After I had some optic bone repair, I decided that at my age I didn't want to suffer eye pain any more.

Over the years as an AARP Chapter President and as a member of the board of the local Aged and Disability organization, I had lots of interaction with the Maryland groups that provide assistance devices to the blind and the near blind.  They "showed" me all kinds of tools to make blind folks function as though they could see and take care of themselves.

If you are having trouble seeing, contact your local blind helping organization and be prepared to be amazed. 

One of my favorite magazines, the Reader's Digest captures my interest in several ways.

Vocabulary

There is a vocabulary test in each issue.  There is usually one or two words that I have never heard of before for instance:  celadon =  light green.

There is a monthly crossword puzzle which, I'm sorry to say is extremely easy except for a usual off-beat clue that isn't really a clue.  One has to try all kinds of letter combinations before giving up.  You can check me out on this by looking at the crossword in the July/August 2022 issue.

Humor

Each issue contains a lot of jokes and humorous stories that I like, submitted by readers and others.  I like a couple of this month's jokes that made me laugh out loud:

From the Florida Weekly

Lauren was lying in bed one night when she felt her husband caressing her neck.  Then his hand slid down her side, stopping at her knee, which was as far as her husband could reach.

Then he moved closer and did the same on her other side before stopping and moving away.

Delighted by this unexpected attention, Lauren whispered, "Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?"

He answered, "I found the remote."

From Paul Lund

My old music instructor told me that when he taught music to elementary schools, she began each session by having the class sing a familiar song.

She said that one enthusiastic first grader stood out for his rendition of "God Bless America" when he belted out those stirring lyrics, "Stand beside her and guide her, through the night with a light from a bulb."

Information

There are always interesting articles, such as teaching us the favorite sandwiches in each of the 50 States.  For instance:

Maryland = Crab Cakes.  

I like regular crab cakes that are not put in sandwich form.

But I don't like placing soft shell crabs on white bread with mayo, lettuce and tomato and crunching down.  I don't like to think about those little legs sticking out of the edges of the bread, Yuk! Give me a pile of hard-shelled blue crabs steamed in Old Bay seasoning (with a stein of cold beer) and I'm in Maryland heaven.

Massachusetts

I must have missed this one.  A sandwich called "Fluffernutter."

Apparently, there was a popular jingle: "First you spread, spread, spread, your bread with peanut butter.  Add marshmallow Fluff and have a fluffernutter."

Don't use these Names

usbirthcertificates.com was referenced for a list of names that it is illegal to use to name your child in various countries. Here are a couple:

Friday in Italy

Monkey in Denmark

I'm sorry if I've just repeated what was mentioned in a Reader's Digest magazine issue that you may already have seen, but I wanted to whet your appetite for digging into the magazine that I have been faithfully reading for almost 70 years.

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 Elaine is coming home today at 5:30 PM.  At last!

Hamburger Dream Etc

Last night I slept for 5 1/2 hours straight before nature called. (TMI) This is probably a record for an old dude.  During that time I had a lot of dreams. I remember two of them.

In the first one I compiled a list of Wordle words.  I remember" paste, savor, blast, chore and a bunch more.  Yes, I have become addicted.  As a former computer programmer I think that I know how the Wordle app was developed and I think that the developer was a gifted technician.

In my second remembered dream, I developed a recipe for frying a hamburger in the kitchen. Here is that recipe.

Ingredients:

1/4 pound of raw red hamburger from a Super Market

1 small Portuguese roll

a lot of Extra Virgin Olive Oil (why virgin?)

a lot of German mustard

a lot of piccalilli

some butter

1 garlic clove

1 table onion

1 slice of a cardboard-tasting tomato

1 leaf of wilted lettuce

Preparation:

Cut the roll and squeeze it into a toaster, cook until toasted.

Cover the toasted roll with lots of butter, and set aside

Heat a small unstrickable frying pan (from Kohl's) on medium heat after covering the bottom of the pan with lots of olive oil.

Run the garlic clove and table onion through the Food Processor until it has a smooth consistency.

Grab the raw hamburger and massage it until it looks like a baseball.  Squeeze the garlic/onion mass into the ball.

Frying Procedure

Squash the baseball-looking hamburger into the heated pan and flatten it out with a plastic spatula (you know, that long-handled thing with a wide flat area at the end that some folks use to swat flies.)

Let it cook for two minutes, turn it over with the spatula and cook for two minutes more. (If the smoke alarm goes off, wave the spatula at it until the alarm stops.)

After Frying Procedure

Remove the cooked hamburger from the pan with the same spatula and place it on a small dinner plate.  (If some of the hamburger still looks red, stick it into the microwave oven for two minutes.)

Place the bottom piece of the toasted/buttered roll on another plate.

Cover the roll with the tomato slice and lettuce piece.

Stick the cooked hamburger on top.

Slaver the hamburger with the mustard and the piccalilli.

Cover it all with the top of the buttered Portuguese roll. 

Nuke it for 15 seconds to make sure it is still warm.

Slice the sandwich in half with a serrated kitchen knife, because if you try to eat it whole you will probably break your dentures.

Enjoy!

 Elaine is being released and may be coming home tonight or tomorrow.  I can't wait.

WORDLE!

Xfinity had an interesting show about Wordle last night.  I learned a lot.

Will Shortz, the New York Times puzzle editor and fellow Mensa and National Puzzlers League member has been running The National Crossword Contest for forty years. 

This year, because of the popularity of Wordle and because The New York Times bought the rights to it, he included it as part of this year's contest.

Here is a bit of what I learned last night:

One year ago, only ten people tried it at first to find the solution word (which was CIGAR); now millions are addicted.  

The Wordle compilers have already built a file of all the solution words they will use for the next six months.

Will tries Wordle every day and always uses the same beginning word AROSE because it gives him 3 vowels and 2 common letters.

IMHO here are other beginning words that you might consider:

ADIEU = 4 vowels

ATONE = 3 vowels and 2 common letters

PASTE   =  2 vowels and 2 common letters

But I like these beginning words better because I think they may tax your brain and give you more fun and satisfaction when you succeed:

SPASM = just one vowel and a repeated common letter

CRYPT  = No vowels, unless you consider Y a vowel

CLASP  =  1 vowel and 1 common letter

This is a list of common English letters in order by usage:

ETAOINSHRDLU

This was derived from linotype letter usage. And as I mentioned somewhere before, it is the name of a sci/fi character:  ETAOIN  SHRDLU.

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WEATHER OR NOT

I'm writing this while a violent thunderstorm rages outside my front door.  Lots and lots of rain! My tomato plants are smiling.

Down the road state-wise, temperatures are trying to reach 100 degrees.  Something is keeping that heat from reaching Maryland - at least for now.

Growing up in New Bedford, Massachusetts I seem to remember that a heat wave was defined as a temperature of 80 degrees.  We never needed an air conditioner.  I think that only department stores and funeral homes had them. 

If you felt warm, you could drive down to Clark's Cove and let cooling ocean breezes waft through your car's windows.

Or, as I often did as a kid, travel by two trolly cars to Hazelwood Beach and go swimming in that same water body for hours.  (All for a grand total of 25 cents,) 

(New Bedford was home to 11 miles of water-frontage.  Lots of places to swim, like in the Acushnet River where the polluted run-off from factories like Cornell-Dublier diluted the brackish water and somehow swiftly healed open wounds.)

Or, as some of us kids did, dive into the harbor water to retrieve dimes tossed into the filthy river by Coast Guardsmen and sailors.  (A 10 cents retrieval was a great incentive for a kid back then.)

Or,  you could travel to near-by Horseneck Beach and swim in the surf, after looking out for the notorious undertow.      

There certainly were a lot of fun things to do back then.  (As an old man remembers.)   

        

As a High School student, I spent 7 hours each day working in the basement ol the local YMCA.  It was always 90 degrees there, an ideal temperature and humidity for the hundreds of water bugs that would mysteriously appear when the lights were turned off.  I didn't particularly like the sweaty smells of the naked men, but I did enjoy the heat.

When I joined the Air Force I spent 6 months in Biloxi, Mississippi, where the temperature always rivaled that which I experienced in the YMCA basement.  But my next assignment placed me atop a snowy and frigid mountain in Germany.  Quite a change!

Here in Maryland the old New England phrase also applies:  "If you don't like the weather, wait a minute!"

BTW:  Ambrose Bierce remarked:  Weather is "the climate of an hour.  A permanent topic of conversation among persons it doesn't interest ..."

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WAITING

I feel like this, waiting for Elaine to come home from the hospital

Wait, Wait!

One of my favorite podcast/radio show is  Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.  I've mentioned it before and how it is related to British (kind of) quiz shows.

I listen to it every Sunday night and I fall asleep half-way through.  Not because its boring, which it isn't, but because my bedtime pills knock me out.

However I am able to listen to it in its entirety on Monday morning and I highly recommend it.  I always learn interesting (and/or silly) things from the program, such as:

You're so nice!

In Stockholm Sweden, talking trash cans are scattered around the town.  What could trash cans possibly say?

Well, they compliment every person who deposits garbage like:  "Thank you, you good-looking Sweetheart," or "You sure look good today, Honey."

Some even moan and groan suggestively.

The city governors say these lovable creations are helping keep the streets clear of litter.

Poo Poo Putin

When Vladimir visits another country, he always has a lacky who collects his poop and takes it home to Russia. Putin does not want agents from other countries digging through his excrement looking for secrets.

Blame Amy

Amy Schumer "hits back after being blamed for the Tampon shortage. She says: 'I don't even have a uterus!'"

Interesting Euphemism

Scare the bejesus out of someone.

To shock or frighten one very suddenly or severely. (Mostly used in Ireland, but I've heard it used a lot in Massachusetts.)

Weed

There may be a marijuana strain named JAREDKUSH.  Maybe not.

Question 

A group of chickens are having a "gabfest." They are pondering a burning question: "Why does anyone cross the road?"

Tired?

My Roomba says:  "This job sucks!"

Yuk!

A pest control company is looking for someone to babysit 100 cockroaches in their home for 30 days. They are willing to pay $2000 to the home owner.

That reminds me of when one of my employees invited me into her home for lunch.  As I sat eating Egg Fu Yung, I remarked about her wallpaper with its moire effect.  However, upon closer examination, I found that the rippling effect was caused by scurrying creatures.

My friend Bob Crum remarked that he saw the same effect when he was a Social Security Claims Rep in the slums of the Bronx. 

Lifeguard!

Comedian Paul Lynde was a star on Hollywood Squares when he was asked:

"What do you yell when a man falls into the ocean?"

Paul: "Man overboard!"

"What do you yell when a woman falls into the ocean?"

Paul: "Full speed ahead!"

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MISH-MASH

More Words and other Stuff

Drip fixed.

Stillicide quenched.  (Interesting words.)

Euphemism

"Ye gods and little fishes!"  In the U.S., an "old-fashioned exclamation of shock or incredulity, a minced oath used as a stand-in for the more blasphemous "Oh my God!"

I still hear this from time to time.

Sleep Tip

Some scientists now claim that one should always sleep on one's side.  This supposedly allows the brain to cleanse itself of extraneous information.

I've been sleeping on my side for years, but my brain is still full of the darndest thoughts.  I do have lots of memorable dreams though.

Why grow Tomatoes?

Someone on the Intertel Website mentioned that they grew tomatoes.

Some 1% IQ person said that was stupid because it would only save $2.77 a year in tomato costs.

I think that the critic misses the point.  In my case, my beautiful daughter gives me tomato plants that I nurture.  I love to water them, weed them, feed them, and watch them grow.  This is LIFE.

And besides, the produce tastes so much better than the "cardboard" tomatoes that are for sale in a super market.

Hats?

The New Bedford Photos website recently showed a postcard from the early 1900's showing a large number of people enjoying themselves at the long-gone Acushnet Amusement Park.

Every one of the close to 100 men was wearing an identical straw hat.  The ladies' dresses looked O.K. to me.

That reminds me of something my Brother Joe told me.  When he was a pre-teen living in Boston, the famous Filene's Basement had a sale on white sailor hats.  Someone in the family bought 100 and invited all the neighborhood kids to a party with Joe.  I have a "cute" picture to show, if I can find it.

Flipping Out

Flip Board is an interesting entity which sends me daily "Flip Digests."  These are videos, pictures and articles I love to review.  I highly recommend Flip Board.

Here is a sample of their content, as a "teaser."

1.  New Employees

This is what bosses said about some new hires:

Pugnacious?

"The employee asked 'What's the company policy on fighting?'

" He was totally serious too when he asked "What about in the parking lot?'"

(per "bingwhip')

Office Help?

"She stapled pages in the middle of them, like as far as she could reach with the stapler."

(per "rination")

2.  Weddings

Birds of a Feather?

The caterers delivered a phony wedding cake that contained seven doves that were to fly out when it was cut by the bride.

Unfortunately nobody told anyone in the wedding party about it, and when the cake was opened seven dead birds fell out.

(per poppy rick)

Groom Speak

The happy groom liked to talk and rambled on for forty-five minutes.  At the end he wrapped up by saying "I am just as happy as a kid with a new bike, I can't wait to get it home and ride it."

(per Sophie Roberts)

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OH MEIN PAPA!

I hope you had a pleasant Father's Day.  I didn't have a father in my life but I loved my grandfather as though he was my father.  

My two wonderful children visited me along with my unbelievable handsome grandson, Jackson.  Jack is a song writer and entertainer.  You will be hearing a lot about him in the years to come.

My visitors brought me some tasty Maryland crabs, some delicious IPA brew, some hamburger and a few of those pretzels dipped in sweet stuff.  I was in "fat city!"

In addition, my son fixed my cell phone.  Now I can communicate with the world again.

Some Fathers' Day Thoughts

Mensa Trivia

These are questions missed by Jeopardy contestants.

1.  What is the only nation whose name ends in "h"?

2.  Who is the author of "Every man in his Humor" who stabbed a man to death in 1598?

 (answers at the end)

NETFLIX Show

There is a show streaming on NETFLIX called "Is it Cake?"

Specialty bakers create cakes that mimic everyday objects, such as egg cartons, money bags, and items of clothing.  Contestants must decide if an item is just as shown or just an ordinary cake.  The guesser finds out the truth by slicing the object with a machete.  Interesting.

Ears of Corn

Joe Yonan mentions a tip from "The American Test Kitchen" about preparing ears of corn, right from the farm.

Cut through the cobs on one end.

Douse them in water.

Nuke them for several minutes and then easily shake them from husks.

All silk comes off easily.

Gun Question

How about requiring liability insurance for guns?

Walls

In 1932, the Nazi Party propogandist Goebbles declared:" We want to build a wall, a protective wall."

Where Women can hide their guns.

A gun company ad shows women lashing their pistols via belts below their breasts.

BTW 45,000 people died in the U.S. last year because of firearms.

Billionaires

There are close to 800 billionaires in the U.S.

How many are African American?

How many are Asian American?

Music Lovers?

Performers at a recent National Symphony Orchestra had trouble doing their job because of the constant ringing of cell phones.

In addition, concert goers were now able to bring their booze  to their seats as long as they used certain plastic cups, which got dropped all over the floor after use.  Someone said its now like sitting in a dumpster.

Big Words from James Joyce

metempsychosis = reincarnation (kind of)

ineluctable modality = a method or plan to be resisted

Big Word from Joe Vaughan

sillicide = continuous dripping (as in my kitchen faucet and my toilet tank)

OY!

Answers to trivia:

1. Bangladesh

2. Ben Johnson

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BLOOM'S DAY 2022

Shortly after getting settled into my "cozy" digs on a mountain top in Germany, I was discovered reading a book, not usual for my fellow barrack's mates.  The discoverer was a recent engineering school graduate assigned to this "supposedly" top secret radar site. 

It was a temporary assignment, so I didn't have time to really get to know him well. Besides, he got to stay in the officers' billet and even got to sleep in a bed that was not a jumble of metal springs like mine.

But he would sit with me on my jingly bed and discuss literature.  He opened my mind to the Irish author, James Joyce and his works, especially "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man." This is the story of Stephen Dedalus, a "sun-seeking" Hamlet type student and teacher. 

Here is Stephen's morning prayer: "Welcome, O life, I go to encounter for the millionth time the reality of experience, and to forge in the smithy of my soul the uncreated conscience of my race. Old father, old artificer, stand me now and ever in good stead."

He told me about two other works by Joyce that I hadn't heard of before.  "Dubliners" and "Ulysses."

I devoured "Dubliners" and "Portrait."  I wanted more, but "Ulysses" was banned in the United States.

It took me years to get a copy, from a U.S. book club no less, and I have read it and excerpts from it many times since. 

If you have read it, you will have noticed that each chapter is meant to remind you of each of Odysseus' adventures in "The Odyssey." 

Unforgettable characters in "Ulysses" and "Portrait" besides Stephen D. are:

Buck Mulligan

Molly Bloom

Leopold Bloom

Ulysses relates all of one day's adventures of Mr. Bloom as his settings and actions resemble Odysseus' adventures as he made his way through years of difficulties to once again be united with his faithful wife Penelope. (Bloom's wife was not quite that faithful.) The day was June 16, 1904.

Ulysses was published in 1922 and Ireland honored that centenary by holding a "Bloom's Day Celebration" from June 12th to June 18th (today) as follows:

The Irish government distributed 3,500 copies of Ulysses, Dubliners, and Portrait, in several languages, to be presented to citizens who interact with Ireland around the world. 

Dublin "hyped" some of the novel's locations, such as:

The Martello Tower rooms where Stephen and Buck Milligan lived.

Sandymount Strand, where Leopold did something that got the book banned in the U.S.

Princes Street

Barney Kiernan's Pub

By the way, a soliloquy by Molly Bloom was something never attempted before. We learned, through "stream of consciousness" her inmost thoughts and feelings.  It is eye-opening.  How did Joyce know what to write about this middle-aged soprano and her emotions?

Finally, here are a couple more of Stephen's quotes:

"History is a nightmare from which I am trying to escape."

"I fear those big words that make us so unhappy."

Heavy stuff, mes amis. 

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QUICKLY

Lots of activity.

Elaine had to go to the hospital because of an infection.  I'm kind of lost without her here.  I think she'll be home very soon.  Even our cat, SuZee misses her.  She keeps running to Elaine's bedroom door looking for her.

Going on a foreign trip?

The price of a U.S. passport is about to rise to $165 for a new one, and $130 for a renewal.  I don't know how much I paid for my passport, but I'm sure it was a lot less.

A Blessing

My beautiful daughter, Diane just left after spending two hours helping me figure out some finance issues.  She also showed me some TV watching tips.  She is super smart and I learn so much from her.

Interesting Bed and Breakfast

I think I might have mentioned before how my late wife and I occupied a suite at a delightful New Jersey B+B a long time ago.  The couple who shared the suite immediately before us were named Clarence and Ginni Thomas.  Don't ask me how we knew that.

Question and Answer

Q: Why don't persons who contributed to a phony fund sue to get their money back? 

A:  Would you want people to know that you acted so stupid in donating to a grift?

Shazam!

Enter Superworm!  Scientists have found a worm-like creature that eats Styrofoam.  The larvae of a darkling beetle called zophobas morio enjoys such a dinner.  Since Styrofoam fills 30% of all waste material, let's keep the little creature well fed.

Books, books, books

Presidents like to write books.

Mensa Wordsmith Richard Lederer wrote in2020:

President Grant wrote Personal Memoirs: Ulysses S. Grant.

Herbert Hoover wrote 19 books, including "Fishing for Fun and to Wash Your Soul.

Kennedy earned a Pulitzer Prize for Profiles in Courage. (I recommend it.)

Jimmy Carter wrote an amazing 33 books!  One was a novel called: A Hornet's Nest, about the Revolutionary War in the South.

But nobody has topped Teddy Roosevelt who wrote 47 books including the popular Rough Riders in 1899.

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 SHORT ORDER

My late wife was hired at the age of 14 to help out a friend of her family.  Romeo B. owned a "short order" shop called "The Bucket."  It was shaped like one.

The Bucket was located across from "The Continental Screw Company" which employed around 600 men who spent their days in 90 degree heat making nuts and bolts as well as screws.

Many men bought coffee before work and many more showed up at lunch break to get which was probably their most nutritious meal of the day.  This large amount of cliental was getting to be more than Romeo could handle alone. He needed someone that he could train quickly and get skillful enough to help him at lunch time.

My future bride was a "quick study" and became a big helper for Romeo almost at once.  She was able to rearrange her High School courses so that she could be available at lunch time.  (She knew a lot more than her teachers anyway.)

Eventually, Romeo got ill and this assistant took over the whole operation.  Imagine a 15-year-old girl filling lunch orders for scores of men five days a week.

Here are a few "short order" terms in use at that time: (with help from Reminisce magazine.)

Two cows, make 'em cry = Two burgers with onions. (logical, right?)

Adam and Eve on a raft = Poached eggs on toast. (my favorite)

Whiskey = rye bread.

First lady = Spare ribs.

In the alley = Served on the side.

Axle grease = butter.

Keep off the grass = Hold the Lettuce.

On wheels = To go.

Put a hat on it = Add ice cream.

Adam's ale = Water

Baby juice = Milk.

Squeeze one = Orange juice.

Houseboat = Banana split.

After a couple of years, Romeo died and The Bucket closed, allowing my pretty girl friend to accelerate her school work.

Soda Jerker

I met my friend Courtney Gilbert in 7th grade.  He was a strange dude who was misunderstood because of the way he looked and dressed.  For instance, he came to school dressed in a 3-piece suit and drove a 12 cylinder Packard, (Yes, in 7th grade.)

I've written a lot about Courtney's writings, some of which were published when he was in the eighth grade!

After eighth grade graduation, I went on to High School, and I figured that Courtney would too.  But he fooled me and got a job as a soda jerker.  Working behind a counter, he made milk shakes and banana splits 12 hours a day.

I thought that this was a big mistake = a waste of a great God-given talent..  He didn't think so and worked behind that counter long enough to join the Navy to avoid getting drafted into the Army to fight in the Korean War. 

I lost touch with Courtney.  Years later, someone sent me a newspaper clipping reporting on his drowning while digging quahogs for a New England clambake. (What a way to go.)

R.I.P., my friend.

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WORDS

Graduation Day

Today I finished Lecture 36 of the Great Courses "Secret Lives of Words: English Words and Their Origins," presented by Professor Anne Curzan, PhD.

This has been a very interesting adventure into "Words."

Professor Curzan said that she strives to help people "learn and enjoy language." And she meets her goal. IMHO

She left us with one final word to ponder over:  FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). You will not suffer FOMO in regards to words and their usage if you take Anne's course.  I highly recommend it.

WORDLE

I think it does a disservice to all folks addicted to Wordle when the solution is given out by unscrupulous rascals before some people have even started doing that day's puzzle. How about giving the solutions on the next day instead?

Rascal?

Ambrose Bierce wrote: 

rascality = n. "Stupidity militant.  The activity of a clouded intellect."

Who is a rascal?

Meriam Webster says:  A rascal is "a mean or dishonest person" or "a mischievous person."

Look around at the rascals who get into politics.  Some may start with good intentions, but once in office:  "Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely." I forget who wrote that, but it seems to be true based on what I see and hear.

Cell Phones

What the devil was the world like before cell phones?  Some young folks have never even seen a telephone booth.  

During WWI, a record was held by a switchboard operator who could arrange a long distance call telephone matchup with the proper parties in a little over a minute.  Today, it only takes an eleven-year-old child less than 20 seconds to be connected visually by ZOOM (or such) to their friend vacationing in Europe.

Is that a good thing?

Anyway, I was just surprised when my daughter was able to call me on my broken cell phone. I still can't call out and Google and all other APPs are not working.

Because I have to now do my Wordling via my big PC screen, the APP considers me a new player. 

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