HUMOR?

I'm suffering some side effects from medicine working to destroy an infection, so I need to find something to cheer me up. 

 Here are some gentle observations related to today's lecture on tabu words by Professor Curzon, whose cheeks actually became rosy when she discussed certain "naughty" words.

1.  Kids

Dad:  "I thought that I told you that I was to do the swearing for the family. What was the idea of all those cuss words I heard a second ago? 

Son: "I'm sorry, Daddy, but I didn't know you were home. Bobby broke my wagon and the situation demanded immediate attention.

2.  DAMN!

To paraphrase Ambrose Bierce, damn means either "... a term of satisfaction, implying the highest possible degree of mental tranquility" or "... an emotion of tumultuous delight, because it so frequently occurs in combination with the word jod or god, meaning 'joy'."

(Jod means God as in the phrase "jod or wot?"  meaning "God or What?" This is used by some people whenever they can't believe their eyes. It is said to be a combination of Jesus and God,)

3.  Riddles (by William Roylance)

What do these genteel expressions really mean?

a.  Peregrinate to the nether realms of which Satan is a denizen.

b.  Edifice which impounds copious quantities of a liqueous substance, 

c.  Scion of an omnivorous female quadruped.  

a.  Go to hell!

b.  Damn!

c.  S.O.B.

4.  Sayings (by Charles Funk)

a,  "Go to the dickens" meaning "go to hell."   This may have been "go to the devilkins" before Shakespeare's time and then got changed through usage, but that isn't certain.

Shakespeare used "dickens" in a sentence by Robin in Falstaff: "I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of." 

b. "Son of a gun" can be derogatory,  It was defined by British Admiral William Henry Smyth in his 1865 "The Sailor's Word Book."

"An epithet conveying contempt in a slight degree, and originally applied to boys born afloat, when women were permitted to accompany their husbands to sea; one admiral declared he literally was thus cradled, under the breast of a gun carriage,"

5.  Advice

Aunt: " I don't think you should play with that little boy. He swears terribly.

Nephew: "Yes, I know he does.  He just does not put any feeling into it at all."

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