WORDS

My Brother Joe and I love "words."  At one time, Joe, Will Shortz, and I belonged to the National Puzzlers League, where we wrote and,or solved all kinds of word puzzles.  Joe's puzzling nom de plume is ISHMAEL, mine is AHAB. (Moby Dick or the Bible.)

Here are a few thoughts about words:

01.  LEAP ... to spring free from a surface or over an obstacle. (MW)

leap-frog ... a game in which a player bends down and is vaulted over by another. (MW)

(Leap-frog was the favorite game we eleven-year-olds liked to play, the next favorite was "Quaker Meeting. Leap-frog was rough-house; Quaker Meeting was definitely not.)

 leap-year ... every four years, we stick an extra day onto February.

Non-rhyming memory aid:

"Thirty days hacienda,

April, June and sombrero.

Sometimes one date leaps and grabs another day."

Here are some quotes from my files:

"Leapin' lizards!" says Robin to Batman.

"Mighty rivers can be leaped at their source."  Publious Syrus

"He  who would leap high, must take a long run."  Danish Proverb

"All growth is a leap in the dark."  Henry Miller

"My heart leaps up when I behold a rainbow in the sky."  William Wordsworth

"Look before you leap."  Good Advice

"A leap of faith." Apostle Paul (formerly Saul.) ?

"One small step for a man ... one giant leap for mankind!"  Astronaut Neil Armstrong

Well! I've run out of time, and now I need to leap into the kitchen for lunch.  I guess I should have labeled this entry as WORD.

''''''''''''''''''

adios

QUESTIONS FOR EX-PRESIDENT TRUMP (AND SOME ANSWERS... KIND OF)

(Note: these questions are made up, but not the answers, some of which, may be "out of context.")

Q:  What did you and Putin discuss in your mysterious phone conversation?

A:  "I have had it.  I have been making these calls all day and this is the most unpleasant call all day. Putin was a pleasant call. This is ridiculous."

(Said during a call with the Australian President.)

Q:  Suppose a Democrat is elected President in the next election?

A:  "But let's say a Democrat gets elected, And let's say we have a Republican House.  We will impeach that Democrat, right?"

(Said in a Montana speech.)

Q:  Would you be in favor of women occupying high Government positions?  In other words, are you a feminist?

A:  "No, I wouldn't say I'm a feminist.  That would be, maybe, going too far."

(Said to Piers Morgan)

Q:  How do you feel about the Democratic Party?

A:  "Today's Democrat Party is held hostage by haters, absolute haters, left-wing haters, angry mobs, deep state radicals, and their fake news allies."

(Sounds like he mixed that up... it sounds like he is talking about the current Republican Party.)

(Speech in Montana.)

Q:  Was the Steele dossier correct in all respects?

A:  "President of Russia Defends incoming U. S. President From Rumor That He Paid Prostitutes To Pee On Each Other"

(Slate January 17, 2017)

Q:   How did you handle the results of hurricanes on your "watch?"

A1:   "Trump told Hurricane Harvey survivors to 'have a good time' while visiting shelter"

(Business Insider 2017)

A2:   "This is a tough hurricane.  One of the wettest we've ever seen from the standpoint of water."

((re: Hurricane Florence 2018)

.................................................

Enough!

  

:  

1962 

Frank said: "... It was a very good year."

My beautiful daughter, Elizabeth was born a year ago and my other beautiful daughter, Diane was about to be born.

I was busy helping people get their Social Security benefits, and I soon would be picked to be a Computer Programmer-Analyst.  Elaine and I were enjoying a wonderful marriage.

In the evenings, between diaper changing and TV watching, I made a scrapbook showing and commenting on things that interested me and sometimes "bent my mind." Here are a few of those "things:"

01.  Washington... former President Harry S. Truman says Washington is "full of chicken coops and crackerboxes.  ... He added: "I'm no architect, but some day they are going to have hailstones here ... and we'll find out about those crackerboxes."

02.  The German Bauhaus was founded in 1919 by Walter Gropius.  Dr. Gropius also founded the American Bauhaus in Chicago in 1937.

The Bauhaus movement produced lots of modern architecture.  (I did a paper on the German Bauhaus for a German class at Boston University,)

03. Employees of the New York Museum of Modern Art showed their appreciation for Henri Matisse by hanging one of his paintings upside down.

A museum guard opined: "You don't know what's up, and you don't know what's down, and neither do we." This observation "raised the ire" of French art lovers.

(When I learn how to post pictures to this blog again, I will show this art work and ask if you can tell which way the painting should be shown.)

04.  The "Shaker Man," 39 inches high and made of heavy metal, was stolen from an art supply store in Baltimore by muscular thieves..  Police were notified and an APB was implemented.

05. Apparently, the above-mentioned New York art-hanging problem is catching.  In its latest catalogue, the Louvre printed a work by Georges Braque upside down. 

06.  For years, I have called "unknown substance" googlies.  Also, I always enjoyed the "Barney Google" comic strip. And, of course, who wouldn't sing along with the song "Barney Google with those GooGooGoogily Eyes?"

So it surprises me that there suddenly was interest in the word google (spelled googol), as a mathematics term : a 1 followed by 100 zeros.  I could not guess that just a few years later, a computer program called Google would appear and be used daily (hourly?) to search for information.  

The term googol was coined by Milton Sirotta in 1920.

.....................................

Yeah, I know, this is kind of boring, so I'll say "Good Night,  Bugs Bite!"

MORE JOKES

Here are a few more jokes in the form of questions and answers.

01.  Q:  "What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

       A:  "A widow."

02.  Q:  "What do you give to a man who has everything?"

        A:  "Antibiotics."

03.  Q:   "What do prisoners use to call each other?"

        A:   "Cell phones."

04.   Q:  "Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?"

05.   Q:   "What do you call a man who has lost 75% of his intelligence?

        A:   "Divorced."

06.   Q:   "Why did God make man before woman?"

         A:   "Because he needed a rough draft first."

07.    Q:   Doctor asks: "Why do you have a suppository in your ear?"

          A:  "Good! Now I know where I left my hearing aid!"

08.     Q1: "Stewardess, how high is this plane?"

           A:  "About 30,000 feet."

           Q2: "OK; and how wide is it?"

09.       Q1:   "Grandpa, would you make a sound like a frog?"

             Q2:   "Why do you want me to do that?"

              A:     "Because Daddy told me I'd get a lot of money when you croaked."

10.      Q:   "Doctor, whenever I drink coffee,  I get a pain in my eye. How do I get it to stop?"

            A:   "Take the spoon out of the cup!"

...........................................

SPECIAL LADIES IN MY LIFE

Men pursue women?  Does a mousetrap pursue a mouse?

This information would probably be more meaningful to my progeny. So, be warned.

I've been extremely lucky to have two wonderful ladies in my life.  Both were named Elaine, so I didn't have to change my tattoo after my first Elaine passed and I met my second Elaine.

I fell in love with Elaine #1 at Al Sanger's Tap Dancing Studio where she and I were students. (She was 4 and I was 7.)

I next met her during a New Bedford "Teen Stroll." After our meeting, she said to her friend, Jean: "I'm going to marry that blond boy sometime."  (She was 14 and I was 17.)

"Teen Stroll" .. What on earth is that?

To explain, let me copy an item from the New Bedford, Massachusetts Standard Times newspaper:

"CITY IN MASS. BAFFLED BY TEEN STROLL

New Bedford, Mass., July 15, 19??

Business men and law enforcement officials in this city are baffled by a teen-age phenomenon.

Every Thursday night - shopping night downtown - up to 3,000 youngsters of both sexes pour into the downtown area and promenade along the main streets.

There's no disorder. Police say youngsters just walk aimlessly up and down the sidewalks.

Nobody can figure out why they choose Thursday night for the purpose of the promenade."

Soon after Elaine #1 and I met, we began a "romance" that lasted to the year 2000, when she died during a heart-bypass operation.

In 1956, despite a few obstacles. we married.  (She was 19 and I was 22.) Before she passed, we had been happily married for almost 44 years.

A year after Elaine #1 passed, I met Elaine #2 at a SWORD meeting. This is a group of Single, Widowed Or Divorced people who need human interaction after a catastrophic event in their lives.

I'm lucky to have Elaine #2 here with me.  We've been together in a Bratkartoffelverhaeltnis for almost 20 years.

....................................... 

TEETH

I hope you won't mind a little reminiscence.

We taught our kids to brush and floss their teeth, and not be scared to visit a dentist's office.  This wasn't the case with my family.  

When they resided in Mattapoisett, Massachusetts, aching teeth were pulled using string and a swinging door.  When tooth problems became overwhelming, they had all of their teeth pulled and filled the gap with store-bought "choppers."   

I did not want that outcome for me, but I didn't know how to prevent it until I got ready to enter High School.  Earlier, my smile showcased a big cavity hole in one of the front teeth.  In addition, cavities had made a cesspool of my mouth and I experienced lots of toothaches.  When I spoke, I tried to always cover my mouth with my hand.  (I did learn to talk without showing the disastrous condition of my teeth.)

When school nurses wrote notes suggesting that my mother should  take me to a dentist, I would panic from fear and throw the notes down a sewer drain.

How had I gotten to that stage?

A major tooth decay trigger was green spearmint gummies.  I loved those sugary delights and would devour boxes of them whenever I could buy or steal them.

As a street-kid during WWII, New Bedford "was awash" with U. S. Sailors, easy marks for begging children.  On weekends, I would solicit dimes; two were enough for me to pay for a movie ticket and still have enough for two boxes of gummies.  I learned how to sneak into three movie houses, leaving me at each, enough money to buy four gummy boxes, instead of just two.

However, the State Theater had safeguards to keep non-payers out, so I had to pay to get in and be satisfied with only two boxes.

Not being a "brusher," the sugar found a home on all of my teeth and dug a lot of holes, especially in my top teeth. 

In the eighth grade, I had two large newspaper delivery routes and earned quite a bit of money for a fourteen-year-old kid.  After paying my grandmother for my share of room and board, and after donating to a small bank account, I had some cash that I might be able to use for dentistry.  I had decided that I didn't want to enter High School with rotten teeth.

Doctor F. was a dentist who lived nearby, and was willing to take installment payments.  I arranged an appointment with him.  He seemed to smell of booze, but I thought it might be a medication smell, so I didn't question it. Dr. F did a lot of very painful drilling and told me to make another appointment in a couple of months.  During this time I suffered with a very painful mouth.

At my next appointment with Dr. F, I got much more of that booze smell, especially when he hovered over me.  After a lot of painful poking, he got out his drill and proceeded to put a nice round hole in my gum!  This guy was drunk! Good bye Dr. F!

I tried to find another dentist who would take installment payments, but to no avail, until I got an unsolicited call from Dr. R, who also lived nearby.  (I thought at the time that he was "sweet on"  my mother.)

Dr. R agreed to let me pay him $1 a week for any work that he did on my teeth.

At first, examination showed that Dr. F had drilled into "good" teeth in addition to my gum, and now my top teeth needed rehabilitation.  In fact, Dr. R said that he could not save my top teeth and arranged for an "upper plate" for me.  He assured me that using it would make me look like a movie star.  (Well, at least I hoped I would not look like Lassie.)

I told Dr. R that I wanted to keep my lower teeth because they were in fair shape and looked OK.  He obliged, and in the week before I entered High School, he pulled all of my top teeth and fitted me with a set of normal-looking dentures that lasted for years.

After the fitting, he took me into a side room where he had nautical artifacts, including a beautiful painting of a sailing ship.  The Dr. then said: "Joe, this is my prized possession, a painting by your father, Joe B." 

Little did I, and others, know, until DNA testing became available, that Joe B. was not really my father.  (I now believe that Dr. R took me on as a patient because he thought I was Joe B's son,) 

.........................................

Another "teeth" story:

Our good friend, Louise Miller was under Hospice care when I sent her a humorous postcard showing the wooden teeth of George Washington.  I hoped that it might cheer her up.

Louise passed away a few days later, and her daughter told me that Louise saw the card just before she passed, and it made her chuckle.

..................................

POT-POURRI

Here are a few items from my blog-ideas file that interested me when I first encountered them and which continue to "tickle my fancy."

("Tickle my fancy" was mentioned back in 1774 by Abraham Tucker who wrote: '... animals whose play had a quality of striking the joyous perception, or, as we vulgarly say tickling the fancy.'

The phrase also has been used pornographically in England.  I won't say how.

I use the phrase to mark items that I like and that are usually kind of funny or thought-provoking.)

01.  Victor Hugo wrote: "The supreme happiness of life consists in  the conviction that one is loved."  

How sad must be the person who has nobody who loves them!

02.  In 2018, the Readers Digest captured  the following:

"Art Garfunkel said that the play Our Town by Thornton Wilder serves as a 'Manual for Living.'"

Art said: "The play's message is that humans, caught up in daily concerns, fail to appreciate life's beauty and preciousness."

"That's all human beings are!" says Emily Webb Gibbs, a dead woman looking down upon the living and astonished by their folly.

"Just blind people!"   

(To paraphrase something I think was written by either Goethe or Voltaire: "Only two things amaze me.  The starry firmament above and the firmament below.")

Go out and smell the roses!

 

03.  In 2019, The Week magazine wrote:

"North Koreans, have been told to produce 200 pounds of 'human manure' every day, to help fertilize the nation's crops, and to pay for any shortfall in cash.  Since no human makes that much poop, the new directive seems to be a unique kind of tax."

I suggest that we send ex-president Trump over to his friend Kim, to help.  Mr. Trump has been known to produce tons of BS every day.

...........................

Jokes and Stories

Its time to bring a little humor into our lives, so here are a few old and new stories and jokes that I have stolen.  (That's what you do with jokes, and besides, nobody knows where they originated, or what crazy person invented them. However, if I know the originator, I will try to give them credit.)

01.  In the Doctor's office: "Yesterday I drank a whole bottle of invisible ink, and now I'm waiting to be seen."

02.  Somebody stole the toilets in the police station.  Now the officers have nothing to go on.

03.  My doctor told me I had acute angina.  I told her "That was very nice of you, but you really should be more professional."

04.  This was from my cousin Pauline Kraihanzel:

An elderly lady calls her neighbor and asks for help with a very difficult jigsaw puzzle. 

"Its supposed to show a picture of a rooster when its finished, but I can't even get started," says the lady.

The neighbor investigates and concludes, "You will never get the pieces to resemble a rooster.  So, just relax, have a cup of tea, and help me put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

05.  Why couldn't Noah fish off the ark?

Because he only had two worms.

06.  Wife:  "Will you love me when I'm old and fat?"

Dumb Husband:  "Yes, I do."

07.  I drove my new model electric car from Baltimore to Boston.  It consumed only $3.50 of electricity, but the extension cord cost $80,000.

08.  Its hard to hang out with my uncle Bill, because he's always pulling an ostrich on a leash.  A while ago he found a buried lamp.  He cleaned it up, and as he was rubbing it, a giant genie appeared.

The genie was so glad to be released after many years, that he said 

that he would grant my uncle one wish.

My horny uncle Bill wished for a chick with long legs.

09.  A man submitting information to his Income Tax preparer was asked how many dependents he had. ""Sixteen," he replied.

The startled preparer asked, "Would you mind repeating that?"

The man replied, "Not if I can help it!"

10.  A preacher had memory problems and was advised by his therapist to back up in his sermons whenever he couldn't remember what to say next, and repeat until he finally did remember.

So, one day he got stuck on "Behold I cometh."  He said it three times and then he remembered.  He was so proud of himself that he didn't pay attention and fell off the stage and landed on a little old lady.

"Sorry!" he said.

The little lady said, 

"Don't worry, sonny, you warned me three times. I should have moved."

....................................

Random Item from my BLOG Ideas File

SPAM

To me, SPAM is either:

o Unnecessary  and or, unsolicited messages clogging all of my inputs, or

o  To me, a delicious meat by-product, that I like to eat right out of the can.

Reminisce Magazine for February and March 2020 has a nice little article about SPAM (A Meat for all Seasons.) Here are some things I learned by reading the article:

01.  American GIs made up this jingle that I could have used in my recent blog entry on sleep.

"Now I lay me down to sleep

And pray the Lord

The SPAM don't keep"

02.  SPAM was "enjoyed" by Russians and other allies in WWII, as well as our American GIs.

03.  Early computer users referred to repeated bombardment of unsolicited emails as "spamming," relating it to a famously hilarious Monty Python sketch.

04.  The Hormel Company developed SPAM in 1937, just in time to be used in WWII as a "real" meat substitute. Ingredients at inception  were:

pork

salt

water

sugar

sodium nitrate

Later, in 2009, potato starch was added, "to soak up the unsigthtly gelatin that forms in the can."

QUSTION:  What did GIs who were observant Jews do about this pork product?

05.  Ken Daigneau, brother of a Hormel executive named the product SPAM, a combination of SPices and hAM.

06.  A total of 133 million cans of SPAM were shipped overseas to feed Americans and allies from 1940 to 1945.  That's an awesome figure. However its not even close to this one:  An estimated 8,000,000,000 cans of SPAM have been sold "world-wide"  since 1937!  (Is that "quadrillions?" A  lot more than the "trillions" of our National Debt.... at least for now.)

07.  Six beautiful "Spamettes" toured the world from 1946 to 1953 on behalf of Hormel.

All of this SPAM talk is getting me anxious to open one of those gelatinous cans and scoff down some of that (to me) tasty concoction. 

By the way, Dollar Stores have copy cat versions of SPAM... for just one dollar, and the ones I've tried have been pretty good,  but, of course, not as delicious.

For further SPAM information, I think you can get it on reminisce.com.  And maybe even on You Tube.

 Heightened Awareness

Scene I:

Location: Gamber, Maryland Vaughan "Mansion"

Situation:

My son, Chris, and his friend, Jim are playing in the basement. I am working in my office on the second floor.

Jim says: "I'm going to have a cigarette.  Want one?"

Chris says: "Do not light up a cigarette in this house!  My parents don't allow smoking and if you light up here my father will raise hell."

Jim:  Your father is two stories away from us and will never know."

Jim lights up.

A loud and angry voice is suddenly heard from two flights up: "Stop smoking .. NOW!"

..........

Scene II:

Location:  Carroll Lutheran Village, Westminster, Maryland, Vaughan Residence

Situation:  Joe is in the kitchen trying out a new and interesting "secret" recipe.  Elaine is taking a nap in her bedroom and appears to be in deep sleep.

Joe's "secret" recipe calls for chopped onion and garlic.  Joe loves these "herbs."  Elaine has a garlic allergy.

Just as oven heat begins to circulate around Joe's concoction, the dreaded "Duck Call" reverberates throughout the house and Elaine's voice is heard:

"Stop cooking with garlic!"

..........

These are just two of the many instances where our human noses gave us immediate information.  However, as everyone knows, dogs are much better at using their sense of smell.

Based on a "boatload" of sources, it is claimed that dogs have around 300 million odor sensors in their noses, while humans have between 5 and 6 million.  It is estimated that a dog's sense of smell is 40 times better than that of humans.

Dogs may even be able to discern stereo and even 3D "pictures" using their "sniffers."  That is hard for me to imagine.

Even cats have more odor sensors than humans.  Probably 200 million. This would be 14 times better.

Reading Marcel Proust's  (1871-1922) A la recherche du temps perdu  (In Search of Lost Time), one is reminded that certain things and events can trigger remembrance.  Odors are the biggest "triggers" for me.

For instance, when I smell seafood, I am reminded of my childhood, growing up near the Atlantic Ocean, and how some fisherman neighbors would share their lobster catches with us.

And when I smell coffee brewing, my mind goes back to the little coffee shop in New Bedford, Massachusetts, and how delicious the brew was, and how nice it was to sit, sipping, watching the world pass by.

And when I smell gasoline, I think about my first automobile and how at even 16 cents a gallon, I would still not have enough cash to fill my tank, and fumes from a half-full tank would assault my nose.

And, finally, when I smell sweet mixtures of soap and perfume, I am reminded of how wonderful little babies (with clean diapers) smell. I still remember how nice it was to "cuddle" my three sweet-smelling babies!

.......... 

 

Friendly Fire

The 6'4" Navajo Indian we called Chief,  was an Airman Basic (Private) who lived and worked with us on top of a mountain in Germany's Schnee Eiffel.

At one time, Chief was one of the "Navajo Code Talkers," who were important in helping the U.S. win  WWII in the Pacific.

When I first saw him, he was wearing the uniform of a Master Sergeant.  The uniform was covered with medals.

Recently, upon embarkation to Europe, Chief was demoted to Airman Basic for a minor infraction by a stupid Second Lieutenant testing new-found authority.

Humiliated, Chief began to drink.  About once a month, he would get a little too drunk and would go on a mini warpath.  At these times, Chief would fire a pistol in the barracks.  He never intended to harm us.  Most of the bullet holes were in the ceiling. 

At first we were scared, but after a while we got used to the target practice and ignored it.

Normally, the Officers on night duty left us alone.  However, one night during one of Chief's shooting sprees, a new Second Lieutenant had night duty and decided to catch the perpetrator.  He burst into our barracks and announced that we all needed to stand next to our bunks for his inspection.

As he proceeded with that inspection, he would lift up blankets and pillows, knowing that sooner or later he would find the pistol and nab the shooter. Even though a skinny little guy, he felt that this would ensure a position of "Big Man on Mountain Top."

After a while his inspection led him to Chief's bunk.  Chief was standing at attention next to it.  The Second Lieutenant lifted up Chief's pillow and underneath was the errant gun.  Being smarter than the usual Officer, the Second Lieutenant glanced at the pistol,  looked up at this gigantic muscular Indian, put the pillow back down over the gun, and continued on  with his inspection.

..........

 

 

A Beautiful New Suit

During the 1950's, I was stationed on top of a mountain in Germany's Schnee Eiffel.  Because we experienced lots of snowy conditions,  the Air Force allowed us lots of spare time for travel to less cold places.

Once, I traveled with some "buddies" to London, a marvelous place. While walking through town, I saw a window sign, offering "Made to Measure" suits, for what seemed to be to me to be "ridiculously" low-priced.  Having always wanted such a suit, I immediately gave the proprietor the requested amount of money.

I was shown lots of suit material and I picked some that had a brown check.  Kind of "loud" but I liked it.  I then was subjected to a half-hour of careful measuring.  At the end, I was told that I could pick up the finished product in two weeks.(Another fun trip to London. I could hardly wait!)

When I got my hands on my new suit, I thought that it was the most beautiful  piece of clothing I had ever seen, or could ever hope to own.

Back in Germany, I proudly showed my suit to my buddies and hung it on a wall hook so that I could look at it and admire it often during the day. 

Later that week, the small mountain town of Pruem was taking advantage of an unusual warm spell and was holding a carnival.  My buddies and I attended.  I thought that it might be a good place to show off my new beautiful suit.

At the carnival, acting like stupid Americans, we drank a lot of German beer and made fools of ourselves.  Apparently, I drank the most beer and was so drunk and obnoxious that my buddies decided they didn't want me with them for a while.

One of the carnival "rides" was a large drum that revolved heavily and pinned you to its edges for a period of time. Great fun if you are sober.

To get rid of me for a while, they paid the ride operator to keep me spinning until they came back to take me home (a rather long time apparently.)

The next morning I woke up in my cot, still in my suit.  However, when I took a good look at my covering, I saw that wherever the swirling drum had contact with it, there were tatters and holes, especially in the buttocks area of my no longer beautiful new suit.  Ah, yes, lots of lessons were learned from this experience!

.................................... 

    

 

 

SLEEP

Growing up, I always thought of sleep as a waste of time, and tried to get as little of it as possible.  Beginning in my twenties, my schedule was as follows: Bed at 1AM, after the Tonight Shows.  Wake up at 6AM  to lift weights and think.

As a young child, at bedtime, my mother would lead me in reciting this jingle:

"Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my Soul to keep,

If I should die before I wake,

I pray the Lord my Soul to take."

This little jingle raised lots of questions for my developing brain, such as:

Why can't I sleep sitting in my favorite chair?

Who is this "Lord" that I want to "keep" my Soul?

And, what is my "Soul" anyway?

Could I really die in my sleep, before waking up?

What does it mean to "die?"

What does it mean to "pray?"

Where would this "Lord" take my "Soul?"

..... Lots of scary questions for a young boy.  (Some answers were never revealed to me.  I had to try to figure them out by study and intuition.)

A monk nick-named Anam Cara ('soul friend' in Celtic) showed the world a little nicer sleep prayer jingle:

"I lay me down to rest me,

I pray to God to bless me;

If I should sleep and never wake,

I pray the Lord my Soul to take"

But, the jingle version I like best is:

"Now I lay me down  to sleep,

With a bowl of cherries at my feet;

If I should die before I wake, 

You'll know I died of a tummy ache."

Famous pop singer Helen Forrest (1917-1999) liked to sing about sleep and dreams:

(With Harry James) I Couldn't Sleep a Wink Last Night

(With Artie Shaw) Two Sleepy People 

(With Harry James)  I had the Craziest Dream Last Night

(With Artie Shaw)  Deep in a Dream

..... see how I segued to a sleep product, dreams.

Hamlet said it all in his soliloquy To Be Or Not To Be:

"...  To die, to sleep:

To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, ..."

During my recent long term in Hospitals and Home Hospice, I learned what I should have learned as a child.. that sleep is good.. it relaxes and it heals. The National Sleep Foundation suggests that healthy adults need between 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night.  Right now, I'm enjoying adhering to their suggestion.

..........

Sweet dreams, mes amis!

Ex-President Trump

Most folks know that I am not, never was, and never will be, a fan of Mr. Trump.  I believe that he is not a person who cares for anyone except his children and himself.  Even a crook like Nixon  was "presidential" at times.  Mr. Trump, not at all.

Why are Republican members of the House and Senate scared of him? Is this guy the head of a massive Mafia-type organization?  

Mr. Trump has had many well-known authors stroking his vast ego by writing about his life, his organizations and his administration's strange (usually) activity.  He likes to be the subject of any and all exposes, even when it makes him look bad (dumb?)  Attention is everything to him, otherwise why would he keep allowing interviews with guys like Michael Wolf, who  continue to lampoon him in their many books?

Some of these books:

I Alone Can Fix It     Carol Leonnig and Phillip Rucker

Frankly, We Did Win This Election     Michael C, Bender

Landslide, The Final Days...     Michael Wolf

Nightmare Scenario      Yasmeen Abutaleb and Damian Paletta

Too Much and Never Enough    Mary Trump

A Very Stable Genius:DJT     Phillip Rucker and Carol Leonnig

Liberal Priviledge: Joe Biden and...     Donald Trump Jr

Tower of Lies      Barbara Res

The Cult of Trump     Steven Hassan

Commander in Cheat      Rick Reilly

... and many more... especially:

Peril    Bob Woodward and Robert Costa     (just out today and a "MUST READ!")

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I've mentioned this before: Trump said: "Sometimes you have to tweet your own horn, because nobody else will do it."

My Social Security buddy, Ron Hoobler, agrees:  If you don't toot your own horn, someone will spit in it."

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A.G. Sloan in The Funny Times Says:

"Name a pope, a soap, and a dope."

"Francis, Ivory, and Trump,"

............

Achtung!

Even though I do not have German ancestors, but because at one time I was perfectly fluent in the German language, and because Baltimore's revered Mencken was once a member, and because I love to drink beer,  I joined the German Society of Maryland.

Over the years my language expertise has deteriorated but I still maintain a simple reading ability. ("If you don't use it, you lose it.")

So, I enjoy reading the Society's Vereinsnachrichten and learning new information  with a Germanic viewpoint, such as:

Bratkartoffelverhaeltnis  ... literally "fried potato relationship." Idiomatically: "Er hat ein Bratkartoffelverhaeltnis mit ihr" ... "He only sees her because she feeds him."

According to the Vereinsnachrichtung, and I quote: "... the origin of this expression dates back to the early 20th-century World War I era, when  short-term love affairs were entered into because one partner had better rations.

Today, it is more often than not used in Germany as a tongue-in-cheek synonym for a 'wilde Ehe' (wild marriage), referring to co-habitation without tying the knot."

Ay last, an interesting way to describe the relationship that me and Elaine have!

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More later. Auf Wiedersehen!      

Things to Think About as YOU  EAT your breakfast Cheerios

01.  Gorillas hum while THEY  EAT. They invent new tunes and raise or lower volume as they chomp away.  

02.  My Philosophy Professor at Boston University, Peter Bertocci, believed in a "limited God".. one not omnipotent.  

(I read somewhere: "Why would an "unlimited God"  place an input area for the most pleasant of emotions next to a waste disposal area?")

Anyway, Pete taught: "The meaning of life is to do the best with what you've got." Amen to that!

03.  The tallest building in Europe is "The Shard" in London.  It is 87 stories high and was inspired by nautical masts and spires.

04.  Remember TV's Paul Winchell (1922-2005)?  He was also an inventor and developed the first artificial heart.  Lana Turner, movie star, was also an inventor in WWII.

05.  In Mozart's Magic Flute Opera (Die Zauber Fluete) the Queen of the night has to hit 2 high F's in her revenge aria.  Damn few sopranos can do so.

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Enough of that. How about some funny stuff?

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A Catholic priest got into trouble by naming his cat "Honey."  The Monsignor did not think it wise when he would call the cat in at night.

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Country saying:  "Its hard to kiss those lips at night after she's chewed your ass all day."

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I saw a license plate that read "CANE MAN."  Do you think the driver is blind?

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"Alexa, what time is it?"

"Joe! Its 9:20 am.  Enjoy your sunny day."

TIME

Fifty years ago, I found myself lifting my right arm every few minutes to check on the "time" shown on my very expensive wristwatch. I decided this was wasting my "time," and threw the darned thing into the Acushnet River.

Why did I need a "time" piece on my body when there were clocks everywhere?

Even today, an inventory of my current home shows the number of "time" pieces that are available to me:

Kitchen:  On two landline telephones

                On my Alexa "Show"

                 On my cell phone

                 On the oven

                  On the microwave

                   On a window sill.

My Bedroom:  On my Alexa 

                         On my two PC's

                         On my TV, if I ever turn it on

Elaine's Bedroom:  On her telephone

                                On her TV

                                 Next to her bed

Great Room:  On the TV

                        On the telephone

                         On the wall

That's at least 17!  Why would I want this excess of "time" tellers?"

Hey! Why not do your own inventory.. you may be surprised.

If you don't have enough clocks,  I have a whole box of ones that have never been used.

TEMPUS FUGIT

Per Wiki:  ("Time" flies!)  From Virgil's Georgics: "... as 'fugit reparabile tempus.' (It escapes irretrievable time.)"

TIME FLIES

Time flies like an arrow;

Fruit flies like bananas.

WIKI says this is a good example of antanaclasis * or the repetition of a single word, but with a different meaning each "time."

Even though I am a so-called wordsmith, this word * baffles me.  Instead, I would rather use "syntactic ambiguity."

TIME WAITS FOR NO ONE

How true. There are at least three songs with that first line, only one of which I would like my grandchildren to hear.  It was sung many years ago by Helen Forrest (1917-1999).  It was first heard in the movie Shine On Harvest Moon.  I love the tune and the words.

Time waits for no one

It passes you by.

It rolls on forever 

Like the clouds in the sky.

Time waits for no one

Goes on endlessly

Its just like a river

flowing out to the sea.

Time waits for no one

LET'S MAKE LOVE WHILE WE MAY!

About Time; A History of Civilization in Twelve Clocks

By David Rooney (noted British Horologist)

Two separate book review magazines gave "glowing" reviews this week to Rooney's book about "time."  I downloaded it to my Kindle and can't wait to read it.

Some things I want to investigate:

01. Clock Tower (1859)  became Elizabeth Tower (2012) but is  commonly called Big Ben. Enormous bells serenade Londoners every quarter hour, but nobody complains.

02.  The Makkah clock in Mecca.  Supposed to be the largest clock in the world, but you have to be Muslim to check it out. 

03.  The clock history of Saint Mary's church in Luebeck, Germany.

04.  From sundials to plutonium fueled clocks.

O.K. Its "time" to do other things.  Bye.

Conversation?

As you probably already know,  I love to engage in conversation with folks I like... and, I like everybody (mostly) and especially you.  Since my graduation from Home Hospice, I don't get much "in person" visits, so, in order not to be depressed, I converse on Blogger, and hope to continue for a long time, boring the hell out of you.

Covid

When I went to bed last night, I had Alexa play the Al Franken Podcast.  Al was interviewing Michael Wolf about his new book: Landslide - The Final Days of the Trump Presidency.  I was extremely  interested in their dialogue,  but Mr. Wolf's voice was very soft and it soon lulled me to sleep. 

Three hours later I suddenly awoke and realized that sleep would no longer be possible because I had forgotten to take my night time pills. Shame on me!  Alexa had nagged me at midnight, saying: "Joe, take your pills!" "Take your pills!"  But I still forgot.

I rushed to the kitchen to take those damn pills, but knew that sleep would not reappear for a while.  No big deal, because the Al Franken Podcast was still  on the air.  Al was now interviewing two Covid experts.  I didn't find out their names.

These folks presented  some information that I thought was "eye-opening." Here are a few matters that I want to investigate more closely:

01.  The material necessary to prepare Covid vaccines will run out before all of the Third World gets immunized.

02.   Vaccine for children under twelve will be available in March 2022.

03.    A mid-western Catholic Cardinal, who has been advising everybody not to take "The Devil's Vaccine" is now in the hospital under a respirator.

04.   The world will never divest itself of the virus and its variants until everyone wears a mask. 

05.   President Biden's plea to private companies to impose immunization mandates is constitutional.  Stare decisis.  The first time such a presidential mandate arose was in 1904.

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On a lighter note, here is a joke that I'm sure you have heard many times before:

A State Trooper stops a car on a highway and tells the driver: "You just went through two red lights."

Driver yells: " No, I didn't!"

Wife says:  "Yes, he did."

Trooper says: "You were also driving 75 mph in a 50 mph zone."

Driver yells:  "No, I wasn't!"

Wife says:  "Yes, he was."

Trooper says:  "Ma'am, does your husband always yell like that?"

Wife says:  "Only when he's drunk."

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Good Morning!  It's a cool sunny morning here in rustic Maryland.  I just watched two beautiful does run across our back yard.

We set up a hummingbird feeder on Wednesday, and a hummer immediately appeared to get a drink.  I don't see any drinkers yet today, but I'm sure they will show up.

Today, for the second time in a week, our electricity went off, but just for two hours. The last time, it was off for four and a half hours, in the evening.  It was fun moving around by candle light.  Back in Massachusetts when I was a boy, electrical outages were a usual event, but we didn't miss electric powered entertainment, because we didn't have any.

I feel sorry for those folks in the deep south who have had no electricity for over a week, with no hope for its quick return. Some folks have medical needs that require electrical power.  

My beautiful daughter, Diane, visited later and we spent a lot of time discussing all kinds of things. She also brought us some large tomatoes from her garden.  (Our helper, Kathy, also brought us some of her tomatoes.)  Boy, do they all taste good!

Today, I would like to talk about Acrostics.

There are many forms of acrostic puzzles, but the ones I like best are created monthly for the New York Times, by fellow Puzzlers, Emily Cox and Henry Rathvon.  

Doing the puzzle, I first solve the clues.  The letters of the answers are placed within a quotation grid.  After the whole puzzle is completed,  the quotation is laid bare and the first letters spell out the author's name and the title of the book from which the quote has been taken.

I have a lot of fun after I see the resultant quote.  If the book title or author catch my interest, I arrange for a book sample on my Kindle and purchase the book if my mind gets engaged. Here are a few of the books I learned about from acrostics. I probably never have learned about them otherwise.

01.  Blue Highway by  Least Heat Moon.

An eye-opening and entertaining look into small-town America.

02.   The Dictionary of Word Play by Dave Morice

This is a reference book for wordsmiths written by a fellow puzzler. It covers all (most) puzzle types, with examples shown.  I don't know how I have gotten by all these years without this book.

03.  The Mysterious Affair at Styles  by Agatha Christie.

This is the first appearance of Hercules Poirot.  There seems to be a thousand suspects in a murder.  Mr.  Poirot shared his "little gray cells" with me and I guessed who the murderer was in the first chapter of the book. It was a "fun" read, but I would recommend any of the other Christie stories that have less characters and harder solutions. 

04.  Priest Daddy  by Patricia Lockwood

A thought-provoking book by a young girl who grew up with an Anglican Priest father, with weird, to my mind, ideas about life. He was accepted into a seminary and became a Catholic Priest.

The author seemed very immature, in a family that cussed almost constantly.  A family that I would not care to visit.  However, an interesting read.

05.  The Confidence Men  by Margalit Fox.

The true story of two men who were interred in an Ottoman jail in 1917.  Through fake seances, sessions with a make-shift Ouiji Board, phony mental gymnastics, and outright lying, they hoodwinked their young interpreter, the gullible jailer, and even their fellow prisoners into allowing them to escape.

As I mentioned, without my acrostic puzzling, I never would have known about these great books.  God bless you, Emily and Henry, I hope you go on producing acrostics forever! 

 

Today I want to talk about a marvelous communications method called The Podcast.  I'll list a few that I've listened to and give you my assessment of each.

01.  The Rachel Maddow show. I love to listen to her thoughts about interesting current and past events.  I used to watch her TV show at 9 PM, Monday through Friday, but I would rather experience her show as a kind-of Podcast on the morning after.

02.   The Al Franken Podcast.  Al is a humorist and former U.S. Senator and has a lot to tell about his Congressional experiences.  Al has some interesting guests with whom he swaps stories. (mainly "funny" but true.  I wish that he had not resigned his Senatorial seat,

Unfortunately, Al's Podcasts do not surface as much as I would like.

 03.  Lexicon Valley.  This is a remarkable Podcast if you love words. Famous author and wordsmith John McWhorter peppers his episodes with interesting stories about word origins, often using citations from other countries, such as Germany, France, Serbia, Kenya, etc.  He is an exceptional linguist who can speak many languages, but he is not a boring person.

I recently read his book about the 9 "nastiest" words in English. Very interesting and informative, but not recommended for Sunday School teachers.

04.   Mea Culpa is (or was) a rant about Ex-President Trump by his former lawyer and "Right Hand Man" (Michael Cohen) who recently finished a jail term for misdeeds Cohen claims Mr. Trump ordered him to do.  I haven't been able to connect to this Podcast recently.  Maybe Mr. Cohen has run out of material.

05.  America's National Parks.  All you never knew about each of our numerous national parks.  Extremely interesting if you are, were, or will be a tourist in our beautiful U.S.A.

06.  The Moth is a place where ordinary people can talk about their life experiences for five minutes. This is similar to the five minute speeches in Toastmasters Meetings.

Some stories are completely stupid.  Some stories are "blah."  Some stories are interesting.  Some stories are wonderful.  Some stories are inspiring.  Some stories will make you mad.  Some stories will make you cry.  Some stories will make you laugh.

Some storytellers are professional speakers.  Some storytellers like me have overcome crippling stage fright.  Most storytellers are ordinary folks desiring to express themselves in our s(moth)ering environment.  Good luck to them!

 

September 8th activity (TMI?)

I was a nervous wreck this morning, waiting for a doctor's visit. I was sure that he would find some new things attacking my body.  My son calmed me down and I went  to my suspected fate with courage.

But the doctor just made sure that my past problems had ameliorated and then gave me the so-called "Clean Bill of Health."   So now I can move on with the things I like to do, like give tips on how to make one's life more interesting.

01.  Ask Lloyd Hess to tell his famous "Camel Bricker" story.

02.  Check out the marine paintings by Montague Dawson.  Some of his work is always on display at a Baltimore bank, honoring the city's seafaring past.  I have one of his paintings in my basement commemorative area.

The Italian gentleman who everyone said was my father (pre-DNA testing) also painted beautiful marine scenes.  I'm told that one of his brothers collected as many of these works as possible at one time and would no longer let anyone see and enjoy them.

03.  Look for "lost" money.  Visit missingmoney.com

04.  Expand your brain power by listening to Mozart.  Radio Mozart.net. "Alexa, play Mozart."

That's enough. How about a joke?

At a nursing home, 3 older ladies accosted an 88 year old man. One of them said to the man, "Drop your drawers and we'll guess how old you are."

The man said, "I can't believe you can." But he did drop his drawers to call their bluff.

"You are 88 years old," exclaimed the spokeswoman.

"That's amazing, how did you do that?" said the old man.

The lady explained, "I was at your birthday party yesterday."  

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Please forgive the font problems.I'll try to create better (and funnier) blog entries in the future.  This was just a new start-up entry to get me back.

"Laughter is the sun that drives Winter from the human face.  (Victor Hugo

Yes, I'm back!

 In early 2020, I fell on my face.  Apparently I had passed out and wasn't able to protect myself in a fall.

After a 911 call, and a chilly ambulance ride, I spent some time in Baltimore's fantastic Shock Trauma facility.  In my underwear, and shivering from freezing cold at the Intake area, I shared my time with several policemen wrestling with some "Drive by" shooters. Even though my butt was frigid, I found the experience very interesting.  After listening to my complaints for an hour, they found a warm room for me and a comfortable bed.  Now I was an official Shock Trauma patient.

I knew that I was in a marvelous place.  My two daughters had their lives saved by the "MASH-like" care they received here. One of my daughters had suffered a head wound when struck by the edge of a garden hoe. We called 911 and a Shock Trauma helicopter came quickly to take her to the Baltimore facility.  In the meantime, a brain surgeon was flown in from New York. The doctor and my daughter met up on the facility's roof, where surgery was performed that saved her life.

My other daughter's car was hit by a careless speeder.  My daughter's car was pushed over a median strip and was hit head-on by several vehicles.  Once again the Shock Trauma helicopter flew one of my daughters to Baltimore, where this daughter was patched up with lots and lots of metal.

Both daughters would not have survived without Shock Trauma.  God bless that organization!

Now it was my turn. In my case, facial reconstruction was needed. (They didn't listen to me asking to look like a famous movie star.  I won't say which one, and it wasn't Lassie!)

Part of the reconstruction involved my right eye. That was fine, except that both eyes were now a little out of sync...so, good bye driving.

While the doctors worked on me they apparently found other bodily problems, and decided that I should get into the Home Hospice program. I spent over a year in that program until they told me I no longer needed their care.  I had really enjoyed my constant contacts with Hospice personnel, especially because they seemed to like my stories.  Anyway, I am one of the few patients to have ever "graduated" from an "end of life" sentence.  I feel like a new person and hope to be around for a little while longer.