Yesterday.. when we were young

Overcast and very windy, but 60 degrees.  That's ok.

As I get older. certain songs and poetry take on new meanings and make me a bit melancholy.  Here is an example.. Yesterday When I Was Young by Herbert Kretzmer and Charles Aznavour:

Yesterday when I was young
The taste of life was sweet as rain upon my tongue
I teased at life as if it were a foolish game
The way the evening breeze may tease a candle flame

The thousand dreams I dreamed, the splendid things I planned
I always built, alas, on weak and shifting sand
I lived by night and shunned the naked light of day
And only now I see how the years ran away

Yesterday when I was young
So many drinking songs were waiting to be sung
So many wayward pleasures lay in store for me
And so much pain my dazzled eyes refused to see

I ran so fast that time and youth at last ran out
I never stopped to think what life was all about
And every conversation I can now recall
Concerned itself with me, me and nothing else at all

Yesterday the moon was blue
And every crazy day brought something new to do
I used my magic age as if it were a wand
And never saw the waste and emptiness beyond

The game of love I played with arrogance and pride
And every flame I lit too quickly, quickly died
The friends I made all seemed somehow to drift away
And only I am left on stage to end the play

There are so many songs in me that won't be sung
I feel the bitter taste of tears upon my tongue
The time has come for me to pay for yesterday when I was young

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Just picture Roy Clark or Kenny Rogers singing these lyrics... while I wasn't quite as reckless in my youth as the lyrics state, the words still strike me in my heart and almost make me cry.  I wish that young folks could study these words and try to think about them before they sow some foolish wild oats.

That's what Prepop sez.

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Planting seeds; Voter Registration; Potassium; Grandfather; MRI's; Mail Order; Telephone; IRS Law Suit; Ice Fishing

In the 60's and sunny.  A glorious day.  I was able to sit on the deck and work on a cryptic puzzle for a while.  (I have to be careful of my sun exposure because I am a skin cancer survivor.)  I also spent about an hour sifting dirt from containers on our deck.  I sprinkled radish and turnip seeds on the dirt in one of our green containers.  Then I spread the sifted dirt over the seeds.  Maybe some of them will germinate.. I bought the seed at the dollar store and I'm not too sure that the results will be good.

I still have more onion sets to plant, so if the weather is good tomorrow, I will get another of my green containers ready and plant them so I can have tasty scallions shortly. 

I'm trying to remember the name of my "green containers"..  meanwhile, as soon as tomato plants are up and available, I want to put a few in deck containers as I did last year.  My green-thumbed daughter, Diane, gave me some plants, but I didn't get them in early enough to get many tomatoes, but the ones I did get were delicious..  I'll try to do better this year.

Bright eyed and bushy tailed, I started out to  do some errands around 4 pm today.  I wanted to get to the MVA  for a voter registration form (I'm going to go back to being a democrat for this primary election.. very important to get another Democrat into the Senate seat being vacated by that wonderful Barbara Mikulski.)  and to Labcorps to get more blood work.. my cardiologist wants to make sure that my potassium level isn't getting too high, as the result of taking one of my medications.   High potassium levels can cause changes to heart rhythms.

Of course, the MVA closed at 4 pm, and also Labcorps.   However, I was able to get my voter form at the Westminster library and I'll have to make an earlier start tomorrow to get my blood work done.

Now... wasn't all that interesting.  No?  Well, tough luck.  Us old folks like to talk about our problems and illnesses.  You'll learn that as you get older.   I always remember my grandfather and what he said every morning when he got up:  "Oh! My arms, my legs, my ass!  Oh!"  He  said that a lot.. and, guess what, I do now too.  In fact, as I've said many times before, when I look into the mirror, I see my grandfather.  I loved that old coot, as crotchety and complaining as he was.

Speaking of complaining, I want to mention a few telephone calls I was involved with today.

MRI Appointment Scheduled

One of my doctors has noticed some kind of "mass" in my body (and I'm not even Catholic) and wants me to have an abdomen MRI and a pelvic MRI.  I've been putting it off for months because I have enough medical problems to worry about without whatever will occur when the MRI uncovers it.  Anyway, I finally called to arrange for the MRI's.  I must have awakened the lady who answered because I could hear her yawning before she kind of said "Ah..  what can I do for  you?  Yawn."

She  asked me for my first name and couldn't find me on file.. then it must have dawned on her that I might have a last name.  Once she got that.. and got it again when she needed the extra "a" in Vaughan.. then she asked me a number of times for my age.. apparently they don't get old dudes like me very often.  She gave me one date for both MRI's.  Later, she called me back to say that I needed two dates.  Later, she called me back again to asked me how much I weighed.  I said: "200"... she seemed surprised and said: "Really?"  I said sadly "Yeah."

Mail Order Request for Elaine

Elaine asked if I would order a couple of things from a mail order catalog.  The 800 number rang a long time until a sweet  young voice informed me that I had to wait my turn in a queue.  She then let me listen to some disgusting rap music until she got back to tell me to wait some more.  After quite a long time, a young man's voice said: "Yeah.. what's up?"  This was Brian and he was going to be pleased to take my order.. except that he sure didn't sound pleased.  You could hear the disgust in his voice.  Here was a guy who obviously hated his job.  But we got along well.. we had the usual misspelling of Vaughan.. and the mistake for someone else who lives in Westminster named Vaughn.
I felt like asking him why he hated his job, but thought better about it.  He did brighten up when he found my confirmation number... he made that sound like I had hit the lottery.  So, that encounter came out ok after all.

IRS Law Suit

Somebody on Caller ID named Jose Gomez called from California to announce in a woman's voice  that whoever was answering the telephone was the subject of a law suit being initiated by the IRS.  Help could be offered if we would just dial a certain telephone number that was provided.  Although shaking in my boots, I did not answer the phone and instead let the message play on the answering machine.

I wonder if Jose Gomez is this scammer's real name.  I doubt it, or he is some dumb jerk.  We in TRIAD, as well others in local law enforcement  have repeatedly announced that IRS does not call people on the telephone.  Unfortunately, older people are often caught off guard and actually believe that IRS is after them.  So, they dial the given number and spill out all of their vital numbers.. Social Security, Checkbook, or other financial information.  How can we stop these scammers?  Perhaps the only way to do it is how they do things in countries like China.  Catch them and kill them.  Good deterrent. But then again, that is not the American way.. pre-Trump.

 Religious Joke?

I've been kind of negative in this blog post, so let me finish off with an old joke.. attributed by Readers Digest to Allison Janney.

A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time.  All of a sudden, he hears a voice.  "There are no fish under the ice!"  He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole and tosses his line in.  Again, he hears the booming voice:  "There are no fish under the ice!" 

He nervously looks up and asks: "Lord, is that you?"

"No, this is the rink manager!"

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bye

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First Dates Study; Voter Registration; Smog; Beijing; British Air for Sale; Headlines; Pet a Cat; SuZee; Alligator Toss; Moe Money; No News Today

Very sunny and a little cool... still having strong winds.  We ate supper with  our friend RoseMarie. Very nice.

Politics Again

Silly Study

Slate.com through The Week  magazine, writes about a study conducted by Match.com.  The results are interesting, and I quote: "Voters who support Donald Trump are 11 times more likely to expect sex on the first date than are supporters of Hillary Clinton..."

Voter Registration

Well, I've been a registered Independent for some time now because I didn't like what either party was doing.  However, now that I see the Donald in action, I think that I will rejoin the Democrats.  I had toyed with the idea of becoming a Republican so that I could somehow vote to protest Trump, but I think that my vote would be better used to vote for one of the Democrats vying for the open Senate seat in Maryland.  As you may know, Maryland has restricted party primaries.  I don't like that because Independents and others are shut out from voting.

Healthy Air

The Week magazine reports that fine particulate matter from cars, trucks and factories could be shrinking our brains.   Over time, the brain could shrink by .32%, equivalent to one year of aging.

People in the DC/Baltimore area are not too lucky in this regard, because the prevailing wind blows minute matter through the air from the West Virginia lumber mills, straight across and over us.  Yuk!

But just think about those poor Chinese people living in smog-filled Beijing!

The Week magazine also reports about a British entrepreneur who sells $115 jars of English-countryside air (that has passed over babbling brooks) to residents of smog-polluted Chinese cities.

Headlines

Readers Digest recently listed some weird headlines:

o  Man Arrested After Harassing Couple in Car He Thought Was an Alien Spaceship (fox16.com, Little Rock, Arkansas)

o  Lexington Woman Being Strangled with Bra Fights off Attacker with Ceramic Chicken (WKYT Lexington, Kentucky)

o  School Mistakes Huge Burrito for a Weapon  (USA Today)

Nice Kitty

The New York Times mentioned a New Zealand report that indicated :

o  The  best place to pet a cat:  Upper cheek, between ear and eye.

o   The worst place to pet a cat:  Lower back near the tail.

Our Siamese cat, SuZee, has her own ideas on the "best place to pet a cat"..  several, in fact:

o   On top of the bed quilt anytime.

o    Next to Elaine's wheelchair at bedtime.

o    On the long table where she has to be helped to climb up on, by snapping our fingers.  She's very adamant about that, and is a pain about it.

There are a few things that SuZee doesn't do, even though I spend a lot of time on the effort.

o  Learn to purr.   She never has.. I purr as an example, but she doesn't catch on.

o   Stop throwing up.  Yelling at her doesn't work.

o   Stop running away when people visit.  Nobody has ever seen our cat except Elaine and I.  And she is able to anticipate someone nearing the front doorbell.  She disappears until the interloper leaves.

Alligator Tossing

Here's an update on the story about the young man who threw a live alligator through the drive in window at a Florida Wendy's:  The Week  quoted his mother:  "He does stuff like this because he thinks it's funny...he's stupid."

Creative Criminality

Readers Digest quoted myfox8.com about a college student who was arrested for using counterfeit money.  This bright co-ed tried to  pass bills that had the signature of the Secretary of the Treasury signed "Moe Money."

Boy was he wrong!

Forbes.com reported that listeners to the BBC on April 18, 1930 heard the announcer say:  "There is no news today."  Instead he had piano music played.

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Winderful Weather; Income Tax; Heart of Gold; 3D Printing; British Cops; Forensics; Abraham Lincoln; Fido; Mighty Joe

It's a coolish but Winderful day!  Yes, the wind is blowing around 30 miles an hour.  I had to scour the neighborhood looking for the garbage can that the wind blew away.  Luckily, I had painted our house number on it in white paint.

I finished my Income Tax today and I owe a few hundred dollars.  I tried to do an E-filing, but it won't accept my payment without me entering my AGI from last year.  I tried to get it from last year's  1040.. however, I can't even read the file from last year.  I don't know why yet.  Meanwhile, so many people had their last year's form filed by identity thieves, that the IRS says, if you don't know your AGI, just enter the PIN that we gave you if you were scammed.  I wasn't, so I have to come up with my AGI if I want to E-File.

I had a cardiac examination today with Dr. Jerome.. he's the guy that saved my life when I had a heart attack 15 years ago.  Nice guy.  He told me that the stethoscope sounds were "wonderful."  He told me that I looked "wonderful."  And, of course, the weather was "Winderful."

Our temperamental  refrigerator began to produce ice cubes again today.  It had quit doing so about a week ago.  I had forgotten how horrible life could be without my daily allotment of ice cubes.  Now, if I could only coax it into fixing its broken vegetable drawer, I would be very happy.  Right now, every time I open the door of the refrigerator, cabbage and lettuce roll out.

Technology Breakthrough

The Week reports that a company in China recently 3D-printed an entire five-story apartment Building!  Amazing!  I remember (not that long ago) waiting in line for an hour while a newly invented color printer created beautifully colored pictures of orchids, as souvenirs for us computer guys at a special technology conference.  We've come a long way, baby doll.

A Policeman's Lot

The Week also reports that British police have become too busy to investigate "run of the mill" burglaries and vandalism.  They now tell the victims to investigate the crime themselves.  The victims are advised to  do all the "footwork" before bothering the Cops with the complaint.

Also, in Britain, if you find an item of lost property, it is up to  you to locate the owner, or you could be charged with "theft by finding." 

This was extracted by The Week from an article in the Daily Mail.  Could it be true?  It's hard to believe that a London Bobby would ever be this crass. 

By the way, I just received another set of lectures from the Great Courses company.  The subject is "forensics."  Soon I'll be able to follow along with all of these investigations on TV shows like NCIS.

The Lincoln Dog

Readers Digest wrote about President Abraham Lincoln's love of creatures.  Like me, he refused to harm a bug.  I like what he said: "An ant's life was to it as sweet as ours to us."

Abe brought lots of creatures with him to the White House:  rabbits, goats, ponies, and kittens. However, his beloved dog, Fido, was deemed too big and "skittish" to reside there.  But when Fido was in the Springfield train station awaiting Lincoln's casket, the public was impressed and the faithful Fido suddenly became the most famous mutt in America.   Since then, many people have named their puppies, FIDO. 

Mighty Joe

One of the most amazing men I have heard about was Joe Rollino.  Born to Italian immigrants, he chose to be a muscular American.  He became a strongman.. lifting 475 pounds with his teeth and 635 pounds with one finger... or so it's said.  He lifted weights all of his life until a fateful day when, at the age 103, he was struck by a car and killed.

This reminds me of the elegant 93 year old man who parked cars in a lot near where I drove a cab.  Every day he would come to work wearing a neatly pressed suit, with a nicely knotted necktie.  A very tall man with the walk of a 19 year old.  However, like Mighty Joe, he succumbed to a hit from a car.  The driver had honked for him to get out of the way.. but, probably like Mighty Joe, his hearing had gone, and he did not hear the horn.

Sad.

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Easter; NRA; Fairy Tales; Baltimore; Murder; El Salvado; Political Poem; Miracle; Shakespeare; Stupid Thieves; Rock and Roll Grandma

Happy Easter!  Kind of overcast and cool today.  Usually Easter falls on a nice warm sunny day.  Our friend, Fran sent us a nice card and note.  My late wife and I used to trek down to Spartanburg, South Carolina every Easter.  That day was the only one of the year in which we went to church, and we kind of enjoyed the mass, the Easter clothes, and the smiling faces.. followed by a massive Easter supper.

One of the sermons was extremely memorable.. so memorable in fact, that I remembered the whole thing and can recite it even today, a couple of decades later.  Am I good, or not?  Well, here goes:

He's back!

That's it.  What could be more to the point and succinct?

Let's see.. I'm looking into Prepop's Blog Pot  for something interesting.

Little Red Firing Hood

I read somewhere that the National Rifle Association has had some of our favorite Fairy Tales rewritten to show what would happen if the protagonists had been armed.  For instance:

o  Red Riding Hood packs heat and wastes the unsuspecting big bad wolf.

o  Hansel and Gretel pull out their hidden rifles in the witch's cottage and blow it to smitherines.

o  Goldilocks installs a trip line, wakes when she feels a pull on the line, and slaughters the unsuspecting bear family, which she assumes were getting ready to eat her.

I'm not sure that this information is accurate, but I wouldn't put it past the NRA.

Baltimore Stuff

The Week magazine quotes the Pew Research Center in saying that 50% of blacks and only 39% of whites think that poverty and lack of opportunity contributed to the 2015 rioting.

The Week also quotes Vox.com in saying that in the poor Baltimore neighborhoods of Littly Italy and Greenmount East, infant mortality is about 20 per 1,000... and this is higher that it is in the West Bank, Honduras, or Venezuela!

Baltimore may be a place where lots of people are murdered; however, we have a long way to go to catch up to El Salvador, where 6,657 people were murdered there in 2015!  (Wait a minute.. how many people in the whole of the United States were murdered here in 2015?  Of course, El Salvador is a lot smaller than the U.S.  More like the size of Maryland, maybe.)

Politics

Calvin Trillin writes topical poems for the Nation magazine. In the March 21, 2016 issue, he wrote the following satirical piece.. and I quote:

If Chris (Christie) and Donald form a team,
Would many voters pick it?
Could there be folks who might support
A schoolyard-bullies ticket?

What do you think about that?

An Easter Miracle

The New Yorker magazine mentions that in 2000, a vision of the Virgin Mary materialized on a dirty window in New Jersey.  A photograph (or maybe the window itself?) is on display now at the Museum of Modern Art (MOMA) in New York City.

Remember when farmers were finding Richard Nixon's face in potatoes?  How about the Shroud of Turing?  Shakespeare's missing skull? 

Careless Thievery

The New York Post reports that a Florida thief who forced two guys to give up their wallets by gun point, dropped his own wallet in the excitement of the moment.  Police found it.

Stupidity Reigns

The Week magazine reports on another brilliant Florida neer-do-well who tried to cash a $368 billion dollar check.  He says that he bought it from a guy for $100. 

Rock and Roll

The Week magazine also reports that a 91 year-old Canadian woman was issued a ticket for $122 because of a complaint from a downstairs neighbor who said her rocking chair was too noisy.

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Arghhhh!
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Continuing Care Retirement Community; Vocabulary; Modern Dress Style; Mr. Trump; Moslem American Writer; Cheese; Rubber Duckies

A little coolish.. 50 to 60-ish, but sunny and nice.  Elaine's daffodils are taking their own sweet time and are not yet ready to bloom.  When she bought them, they produced pink flowers,. but, the next year, some yellow flowers showed up,  and some more the next year.  We're hoping that there will still be some pink ones this year.

Even with the nice  weather, there is still cause to be sad (besides the world situation).. one of the problems of living in a Continuing Care Retirement Community, there is a high death count because most of the residents are aged 60 to over 100.  No young folks to lower the average.

For instance, today, a very nice lady passed away while taking a nap.  She was an accomplished piano and organ player and was one of the few people to send me birthday cards.  Her husband is a very nice person too.   I hope he can survive her passing.  I know how it feels to lose a beloved spouse after long years of marriage.   R.I.P.

Vocabulary

I learned some new words this week.  I thought that I already knew about two of them, but apparently not:

o  roti   -  Bread from India (I hope it's fresh)

o  ounce -  Snow leopard of Asia  (how much does one weigh?)

o  dystopian - The opposite of utopian.  It could be used to describe most of the Science Fiction universes I read about when I was hooked on that literary genre.

o  Beth March -  as combined, not a vocabulary word.. just a word that messed me up in a cryptic puzzle today.  Yes, I know it now... its the name of one of the Little Women.

Modern Dress Style

I probably mentioned some of this before.  The Kiplinger Personal Finance Advisor recently wrote about new retail fashion trends that I thought were interesting.

For Women:  Sliplike dresses .. like they wore in the 1920's
                      Clothes that look like pajamas.
                      Crop Tops... what ever that means.

For Men:  Crumpled suits ..  hey, that's the way my suits look.. at least when they are on me.
                  Wrinkled shirts ..  hey, that's also the way I wear my shirts.. I gave up on getting my shirts done up at the cleaners.. in fact, I think I took about 10 shirts in to be done early last year and forgot about them.  Good riddance.
                  Sheer shirts.. wait a minute, who the hell would like to see my nipples?

The Donald Again

Saqib Bhatti, a Moslem American, wrote about Mr. Trump in the April 2016 issue of In These Times.  I would like to quote her if I might.

"It has been said that when Trump says, 'Make America great again,'  he really means 'Make America white again.'  I don't think that's true, because 'white' is too inclusive a term for Trump's America.  Trump has already told us he doesn't want Muslims in his courntry.  He's talking about getting Mexicans to build a wall to keep themselves out.  He is openly flirting with the Ku Klux Klan.  It would be an understatement to say that Trump is unwelcoming of people of color.  But Trump's America also has no place for white people who happen to be Jewish or LGBTQ.  It doesn't value white women except as objects."

What do you think?

Weird Trivia

I purchased a book at BJ's the other night.  It's title is The Book of Weird and Unusual Trivia.  It's chock full of interesting stuff.  While I cannot quote the book because of copyright  issues, I don't see why I can't comment on my take on things that trigger my brain to push some new synapses into play.

(Incidentally, speaking of synapses,  I just received a package from the Great Courses.  In that package were two CD courses about the human brain.  As I do with all of my Great Courses material, I will be listening to the lectures as I drive around to all those doctors who are getting rich from me and Medicare.)

Cheese:  I learned that the Pilgrims had a store of cheeses aboard the Mayflower.  I knew that they brewed their own beer on board.  Maybe they had some cows along for the ride.  That way they could have fresh milk and cheese when they wanted it.  However,  I don't think they kept any  living things on the ship except for humans and their rat companions.  I could be wrong.

(Speaking of the Pilgrims, I keep boring people with the fact that my family is related to almost all of the Pilgrims living in Plymouth, Massachusetts.  That is not so amazing because in those days, people tended to stay in one area for their whole lives, and Plymouth is only 30 miles away from my home town of New Bedford.. and even closer to the Vaughan's old homesteads in Mattapoisett, Massachusetts.)

Rubber Duckies:  I learned that this bath bird had its debut over 200 years ago. (I began collecting rubber duckies of all kinds about 40 years ago.  I amassed a lot of those funny little birds.  Some were really not that little, most were yellow, and all were funny.  It really was crowded when I took a bath, let me tell  you!  Anyway, when Elaine and I decided to move to this CCRC, we learned that there would be only one way to get the dirt off of our bodies.. and that was in a shower.  So.. bye bye, Rubber Duckies!  Sad!)

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I must bid you adieu.
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Famous Dermatologist; Cuban Doctors; Buck v Bell; Sterilization; Begging the Question; 40; Kosher Marijuana; New York Style; Inventions

A little cooler today.. 60's.. we'll take it...partly sunny. 

I had to get up at 5:30 am  so that I could get to see Dr. Yang, my dermatologist, who is over an hours drive away.  But I got good results... as a skin cancer survivor, my skin needs to be monitored closely.. and today I only had a couple of small suspects which will go away because of the cryogenic spritzing that Dr. Yang gave them.  By the way, the good doctor had a bio in  his office... he was Phi Beta Kappa, tops in his class all of his school years, besides an M.D., he has a PhD.  And besides speaking English perfectly, he is also fluent in Korean. He also is a professor at Hopkins.   Quite a guy.. and very personable too.. and.. he is very young. (I doubt that he is older than his 30's.)   I think I mentioned before that I reminded him of his father, who he reveres... so there!

That reminds me.. as President Obama mentioned, the small island of Cuba produces more medical doctors per capita than each of the Nations in the Western Hemisphere.  They are revered in their home country as well as in Africa and South America.   The only problem is... they don't make a livable wage in  Cuba.. and when they defect to the United States, they get rich... I think.

I would really like to see Bernie Sanders become President and somehow get colleges and Congress to allow for free tuition.  If Cuba can do it, why can't we?  A more educated America would probably be less bigoted.

Buck v. Bell

The New York Times recently wrote about the Buck v. Bell decision by the Supreme Court which went along with the States that wanted to sterilize "idiots"  including "epileptics!"  Almost one hundred years later, the decision has not been overturned.  Carrie Buck was sterilized so that the she would not give birth to "idiots" like she supposedly was. (Apparently Carrie's mental deficiency did not extend to her hobbies, like reading the daily newspaper and doing it's crossword puzzle). .  At the height of  the sterilization craze, tens of thousands of "victims" were sterilized, especially  in the Southern States, where the procedure was called "Mississippi appendectomies."

Logical Fallacy

Curran Douglass in The Mensa Bulletin talks about "begging the question."  It has been recognized for years as a form of circular argument.. but recently, it has been commonly used as "suggesting a question."  

Long ago, when I was finally talked into attending a Toastmasters Club meeting.  The Toastmaster of the evening, asked people to come forward  and explain certain phrases.. this is an exercise called  "Table Topics."  First, my friend Bob was asked to talk about "the apple of my eye."  Being an experienced Toastmaster, he responded with a mini-speech which included things like..."most appealing", and "getting to the core" of the situation.  Boy, was he good.

Then, surprise!  I was called on, even though I was a guest.  At the time, I was afflicted with overwhelming stage fright.  My  topic was: explain "begging the question."  Besides shaking in my boots, I had to admit that I had not the faintest idea what that meant.  Embarrassed  to the core of my being, I sat down and plotted my revenge.. which was.. to go away and not come back for ten whole years.  I guess I  showed them!

A Magic Number

Brandon Specktor in the Readers Digest, had an article  entitled: "You Can Count on 40."  He then listed a lot of things that have a number 40 relationship.  A couple of them intrigued me:

o  Minus 40 degrees is the only temperature that is the same in Fahrenheit and Celsius.

o   Chemists tried 40 times to develop WD-40.. (Water Displacement).. hence it's name.

o   A typical pregnancy lasts 40 weeks.

Dietary Pot

Chuck Shepherd writes in the Funny Times about the world's first certified Kosher marijuana.  The Orthodox Union of New York says that the product meets the Jewish dietary laws, as long as its grown with insect-free plants.

What is New in the World of Style

Once a month, the New York Times issues a Style magazine that comes with a Sunday newspaper package.  This is obviously a very sophisticated magazine indeed.. with lots of anorexic models showing off their expensive Gucci stuff.  It also has nice ads for condos  in the city that cost in the many millions of dollars.  I've heard that these condos are a favorite place for the leaders of foreign countries to invest the money that they have stolen from their fellow countrymen. 

However, there often is much for a poor man like me to drool over.  Such as:

o  A paperweight that looks exactly like a Caucasian foot, toenails and all.  ($350.)

o   Toothpaste "infused with caffeine."  (A steal at $12)

o   Soothing Hip-Hop music for your baby.  Rihanna sings for just $12)

o    A furry bracelet that looks like it came off  of a Russian snow princess' head  ($750)

Now, don't you wish you were rich?

Inventions

The Mensa Bulletin mentions a book with this explanatory title:  The Inventor's Complete Handbook: How to Develop, Patent and Commercialize Your Ideas, by James L. Cairns.

Mr. Cairns mentions some famous inventions in his book:

o  The electric lamp, by Thomas Edison (1889)

o   The cotton gin, by Eli Whitney  (1794)

o    The telegraph, by Alexander Graham Bell (1876)

o    Barbed wire, by Charles Washburn (1881)

o    Buoying system for boats, by Abraham Lincoln  (1849)

o    A head rest for urinals, by somebody or other (you have to read the book to find out)

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Enough!
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Maundy Thursday; Feet Washing; Religious Carving; New Commandment; Communion; Religious Curiosity

Nice warm day.  Forsythia is blooming here and there.. and plenty of daffodils, except for ours.  I guess we are too high up and do not get the constant heat of the sun that is required.

Elaine wanted to go to Krug Chapel for the Maundy Service.  I had never been to one, so I went with her. 

Maundy - the definition says its the actual or symbolic washing of people's feet in commemoration of Christ's washing of his disciples' feet.   And, in front of the chapel, there was a pitcher and a basin and cloths.. all ready for Chaplain Jimmie to use on the stinky feet of his elderly flock. 

Because Elaine is in a wheel chair, we sat in an open area reserved for such things.  It filled up quite quickly with nice old folks who settled down to a quiet nap as soon as festivities began.   However, one of these folks kept asking where she was.   But only after she screamed a few times and asked for someone to help her.  It reminded me of my mother... she screamed in pain and the people in the nursing home dismissed her cries as the noise of a senile person.   Only after I inherited the same ailment that she had and experienced 10 level pain, did I understand what she must have been going through. 

We were given programs for the service..  the cover of which showed a marvelous wood carving of the last supper.  Looking at that, I thought about how far we have come from the early days when cavemen outlined their hands with ash to make a statement.

The Last Supper Wood Carving


I had a lot of questions about the carving:

o  Is this all one piece of carving?

o  Why are there  only 11 disciples shown?

o  Is Judas missing?

o  What is that in one man's hand that looks like a bunch of pencils?

o   Isn't that Judas next to Christ, holding his hands to his chest, looking like he is saying: "Is it me, Lord?"

o   Where is the table?  Hidden by the bodies?

o   Who carved this masterpiece?

o   Why are there what appears to be two holes in one of the men's head?

o   Who is the person wearing a hat?

o   In a group of bearded persons, who is the clean-shaven one?

Now, I know that you don't see the carving.. just guess what it is like.  Twelve figures in rubes
gesticulating and obviously carrying on lively conversation.

This carving must have take years and years to carve.  I hope that the carver got proper recognition for his effort and his faith.  The name Carnach comes to mind.. I will search the web and see if I can find out if that is the person who created this work of art.

(Later, I found out that this is a detail from the Altar of the Holy Blood, Rothenburg, Bavaria, 1501-1505.  The sculptor, Tilman Riemenchneider was a very prolific artist who was active in the Wuerzburg area from 1483.  Because of copyright issues, I cannot reproduce a picture here, but you could Google it.)

The Service

The assistant pastor gave a sermon that boiled down to one point:  Jesus said:  :...to love one another as I love you..."   When I went to a Baptist Sunday School, I heard two things that contributed to me changing my life:   (to paraphrase)

o  Do unto others what you would have others do to you.

o  If a man asks  you to go with him one mile, go with him two miles.

I've lived with those two directives for all of my life since then.  And, I tried to teach them to my kids.. I think they learned them very well and I am extremely proud of my  children.

As a non-religious person, I still think that religion is a good thing.  Without it, some people would be very depressed about life. 

Some folks were afraid that they would be asked to come forward, remove their shoes and socks, and have their stinky feet washed by Pastor Jimmie, so nobody said anything about it.

Communion

I pushed Elaine in her wheelchair to get her wafer... the person who give it to her prepared to give me one, but I waved her hand away.  (I think that this is a throwback to barbarism.. although I am glad that the slaughter of young animals as an offering has stopped .. mostly). Any way, I would be a hypocrite if I took communion.

Also, I saw Pastor Jimmy looking my way when I did not stand and recite the Apostles' creed  that I could not in good conscience state.  He did not look happy.  But that's the way it goes, Rev.  At least I got to this service... and the ceiling did not cave in.. 

Curiosity

Some questions to think about:

o   If God is omnipotent, why does he let little children die?  (Theodicy)

o   Why is there racial intolerance in the world? (Aren't we all "God's Children?")

o    How can we reconcile the different sects of Islam?

o    How can we reconcile the different sects of Christianity?

o    How can we educate people who are involved with Christian cults?  (I have a family situation that is related to this.)

o    What do we do about political hypocrites?

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Enough
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German Societ of Maryland; H.L. Mencken; Johns Hopkins; Baltimore; Nazis ; Shadenfreude; Three Stooges

Some sun, but the temperature got to 74 degrees... amazing.

Guten Tag.. heute muss Ich mit dir sprechen ueber:

The German Society of Maryland's  Vereinsnachrichten  (Club News)

Even though I am not of German descent,  I studied the language, in person in Germany, and at Boston University.  Now, through non-use, I have to struggle to maintain any semblance of facility in that language.  I am still able to do the German crosswords and other type puzzles.  I have a subscription to Amerika Woche, a German language weekly out of DC, and I also belong to the German Society of Maryland.  However, I probably could no longer hold a conversation in the language.

H. L. Mencken

One of the Society's members was the famous Patron Saint of Baltimore,  Henry L. Mencken.  If  you haven't heard of him, look him up on Google or other APP.   He was of German descent and loved the language.. he also loved Beethoven's music, which he played every week with fellow musicians.

But his main forte was his ability to see things with a great clarity..  He was often called "The Sage of Baltimore."  The Vereinsnachrichten for March 2016 has an article about Mr. Mencken and how his perception shows through even today, in our political situation, and I would like to quote the article:

"It was Mr. Mencken's firm belief that the American voters sought out incompetence in their presidents.  He wrote:  'The presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men.  As democracy is perfected, the office represents,  more and more closely, the inner soul of the people.  We move toward a lofty ideal.  On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by an outright moron.'"

Wow! Was he looking into 2017 ?  ( He wasn't called "The Sage of Baltimore" for no reason.) 

Mencken wrote a marvelous study about the American Language.  In it, among oceans of other interesting things, he tells how American immigrants and poor folks got their names.. whether they liked them or not.

One story he tells is about interns at Baltimore's famous Johns Hopkins Hospital handing out names to the new-born babies of uneducated ladies.  For example, one poor baby was saddled with the sobriquet of "Positive Wasserman Johnson,."  and some other names were just as outrageous.

Mencken was a famous newspaper and magazine editor, as well as a fantastic author.  His stories about growing up in Baltimore should be required reading for residents of "Charm City,"

NAZI's

The Vereinsnachrichten also has an article about the cursed word NAZI.  Apparently a reporter coined the word from the common name in Austria,"Ignazius", which was used as a put-down term like we would use "Bubba."  Since Hitler was an Austrian, he and his followers were called Nazis.. as a derogatory term.  However, Hitler liked it, and it suddenly belonged to him and his National Socialists. 

SHADENFREUDE

The Vereinsnachrichten also talks about the German word "shadenfreude", which means "being happy over someone else's misfortune."  Have you ever watched America's Funniest Videos and laughed as some poor person crashes headfirst into the barrier he didn't realize was there?  (shadenfreude)  Or,  have you ever laughed as Oliver Hardy slapped Stan Laurel around?  (shadenfreude)  Or, have you enjoyed the Three Stooges?  (shadenfreude)

Ok... auf wiedersehen, mein Freund.

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Conservatives; Creative People; Hit and Run; Senior Drag; Mis-delivery; Mugshot

A pleasant Spring day... 60 degrees and sunny.

I'm in a rush tonight, so this will be quick.

Picture This!

Eric Alterman, writing in The Nation sez:

(Conservatives)  "A bunch of guys who celebrated the ascendance of Sarah Palin have no business complaining when Trump jumps out of their birthday cake."


Creative People

Chuck Shepherd writes about some very creative folks in the Funny Times for April 2016.  I'll be paraphrasing some of what he wrote.  But, to get the full effect, please get yourself a copy of this marvelous newspaper.  You'll love it.

All of these cases will be discussed at the next TRIAD meeting in Westminster, because they are classics.

Getting Rid of the Evidence

A hit and run suspect was being questioned when police noticed a suspicious looking area of freshly dug earth.  Under the dirt, was the remnants of the truck  he used  to hit the victim.   He had  the truck crushed and dumped into a hole on his property.


Aged Drag

A director of senior services was trying to publicize his snow-removal program that would help old folks.  To make his presentation more realistic, he had one of his middle-aged workers put on a wig and a dress and stand next to him as he spoke.  Hopefully, viewers would believe that this was one of the senior citizens that were helped by his program.

Delivery Men

A couple of guys on probation decided to make a few bucks.  They would follow an Amazon.com delivery truck and when a package was dropped off, they would help themselves to it quickly and then get back to their truck following program.  After they got caught, police found their "to-do  list", which read:  "steal mail and shoplift."

Selfie?

Another "bright light" did not like the looks of his mugshot on the "wanted" website, so he sent a better looking one to the police via the Internet. 

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Go, and sin no more!

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Sea-mucus Blobs; Ice Hotel; Life; Republican or Democrat; Churchhill; Courage; God; Valentines

As I may have mentioned, I am trying to post to this blog on a daily basis.  Last week, I missed one day, so this is a make-up entry.

For this one, I need to reach into Prepop's magic "Blog Box" ...

Blobs (not Blogs)

Marine scientists have discovered "sea-mucus blobs" which consist of living and dead organic matter.  This "stuff" which is described by words that the Wizard of Oz might be comfortable with, as "mucilaginous masses," is expanding because of Global Warming.. and some such blobs can stretch for 100 miles or more.   Perhaps it has become a sentient creature and will vie with parasites to take over homo sapiens.  Watch out for it when you jump into the ocean.. it might slide you right into it's maul.

 Hotel de Glace

You'd better hurry if you want to stay at Quebec's Hotel de Glace, which is the only ice hotel in North America.  It is only open from the first week of January through the last week of March.  Daniel Bortz sez that it was built with 15,000 tons of snow and 500 tons of ice.   A quaint feature is the café that boasts "ice chairs cushioned with fur."  Don't go if  you have hemorrhoids.

Jewish Wisdom

Hilary Cooper sez:  "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

GOP?

Last year, I had a subscription to the National Review.  I wanted to make sure that my views of Conservatism were not wrong.  I found the magazine to be a wonderful soporific agent.  The writing seemed to be an incarnation of the writing of William Buckley... snobbish and snide... in my Democratic-leaning opinion.

Anyway, now I am on a Republican list.  Every other day, I receive requests for donations... just like I get from the Democrats.  I changed my affiliation to "Unaffiliated" this year, and now I cannot vote in either the Democrat or Republican primary.  I can't decide if I want to change back as a Democrat.. because, if I do, I don't get to vote for local candidates.. because they are all Republicans, or Democrats who have changed to Republican to get  elected in this County.  If I change to Republican, I could get a chance to vote for locals and even to vote against Mr. Trump.  Hmmmm.














Winnie sez:

One of my all-time heroes is Winston Churchill.  Even though he made some bad mistakes in his early life, he redeemed himself in World War II, and became a respected author and painter.

Mr. Churchill was quoted by the Times-Picayune:

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak.  Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."

Toastmasters members.. please study that statement.


God

The Atlantic Monthly published a letter by John Burgeson, in which he said this:

"...my anthropology professor at the University of Colorado offered me this explanation (for the development of belief in God)...  At some point some of our predecessors began to buy their dead to prepare them for what they may have believed was an afterlife.  The clans that followed this practice had higher survival rates, owing to improved sanitation, than the clans that left their dead where they fell.  This, in  turn, served to pass along the genes that promote the notion of a supernatural god, and superstitions as well.  Those genes are still with us today"

What do you think?

For Lovers to Know

Jim Hightower sez that the word "Valentine" is also the name of:

o  A 3rd Century  saint who literally lost his head

o  A 9th Century pope whose reign lasted only 40 days

o  Three Roman emperors

o   A silent movie heart throb  (Rudolph)

o   A peppy Mexican hot sauce

o   The first woman in space

o   A town in Texas


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Bye for now!

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Readers Digest; Jack Kolb; Vocabulary; Humor; Exercises; Quotations; End Times

Another chilly Spring day... but nice in the sun with the wind blowing fresh air hard against your skin.  Good day to go hiking, if I could.  I'm still trying to get up enough strength to start a walking program.

The Reader's Digest

I've loved the RD for many, many years.  When I was in a rush to "make it big" .. I didn't have time to spend on long articles and books.. so,  RD let me think about lots of things and only took up a small part of my time. 

Over the years, I noticed that one of the submitters of humorous pieces and quotes, was a person named Jack Kolb.  When I moved to Carroll Lutheran Village, I became friends with a gentleman with that name.  As it turned out, he was the same person.  Whenever he needed a few fast dollars, he would submit something to the RD and earn a bit of money.  Smart man.   I learned a lot from him.  May he rest in peace.

Vocabulary

RD has a nice little test called "It pays to increase  your Word Power."  I always learn a new word or two when I take the test.  For instance, in the November 2015 test I found out that I really did not know what these words meant.. I do now.

o  traduce:  to shame using lies  (you know, like our current crop of Presidential candidates practice.)

o  beguile:  to deceive.  (Bewitched, bothered and bewildered... beguiled again... etc)

o  felicity:  happiness (also, the name of one of our Pilgrim relatives, I think)

Humor

RD also has a section called "Laughter, the best Medicine" which publishes humorous submissions, an example of which is:

From: gcfi.net:  A list of exercises outlined to a critical diet doctor:

o  Jumping to conclusions

o  Climbing the walls

o   Dragging my heels

o   Pushing my luck

o   Making mountains out of molehills

o   Bending over backward

o   Running around in circles

o    Going over the edge

o    Beating around the bush

Quotes

RD also has a section called "Laugh Lines, What's in a Name?"  that lists humorous quotes from famous people,  for example:

Paula Poundstone sez:  "We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers.  They could call it 'On Anon Anon.'"

Stewart Francis sez:  "So what if I can't spell Armageddon?  It's not the end of the world."

(By the way... Elaine sez that she thinks Donald Trump is really the "Anti Christ.")


Well, are you ready to go out and subscribe to the Reader's Digest?  Try it, you may like it.

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Spring; Ted Talks; Radio Lab; Talking Potato Chips; Parasites; Music in your Head; Morse Code in your Head

Spring is here!  But you wouldn't know it because of the snow squalls and 40 degree afternoon temperatures.  However, Elaine saw forsythia blooming down the hill from us, and daffodils are  all blooming along Route 140.. also, the purple-flowered trees are in bloom in Westminster.

On Sundays, I often listen to a broadcast of Ted Talks on WAMU (DC). Today the subject was "Hidden Things."  I listened to that, and I also listened to Radio Lab on the same station.  I've probably mixed these programs up in my head, but here goes:

A Boon to Spies?

A PhD candidate has come up with a method to sound record from inanimate objects, like potato chips.  He says that when we talk, our sound waves permeate everything nearby, and those things vibrate... no matter how minutely.   He has found a way to talk to a "bag of chips" and then play back his own voice from those same chips.   I want to see how he does this.. so, it is time to go out to TED.COM and take a look.

If this is true, the CIA should be jumping on the technology... or... they probably have something as good or better already.  Bye, bye privacy.


Who's in Control?

Scientists have now found that parasites are probably the best predators in our universe.  Just think about how some worms hatch in our bodies and feed on us until they get released through means such as our bowels daily or our bodies at death.  A presenter talked about the many parasites that cause madness in animals and people. Very scary.  Perhaps we have been looking at disease and illness in a wrong way... maybe we can treat such problems as being caused by parasites... virus..  bacteria..  cancers..  Perhaps future medical treatment will be like that of the old shamans... get the evil things out of our bodies.  Maybe voodoo is right.

Dave Barry sez: 
Q:  How come you always refer to yourself in the plural?
A;  We have a huge intestinal parasite.

It's All in your Head!

A presenter showed how there are a great many people in the world who hear music in their heads.  Not just little fragments of songs and such, but fully orchestrated renditions.  He tried to show how some of these songs are appropriate to how people are feeling.  Very interesting to me, because I also have some such experience.

I've mentioned before that everything I think about, write about, or say.. goes through a Morse Code translation.  It occurs in the background, but I can bring it forward if I think about it.  Dit Dah Dit... the curse that the U.S. Air Force put on me by making me spend 12 hours every day for six months learning the Morse Code language.  I learned enough to send and receive encoded messages for the military, but my fingers would not fly fast enough to allow me to progress into learning Russian code. My friend Dan Carr, from Philadelphia did, and advanced far better than I did through the years that I knew him.  I  wonder if he has the "Morse Code Curse" like I have.  I hope not.

Besides the constant code playing in my head, I also have music.  But, my music doesn't necessarily relate to how I feel.. at least not all the time.  For instance, let's say I hear Louie Armstrong singing "On the sunny side of the street" as I did while watching a movie last night.  Now, Louie's voice will be singing that song to me in my brain for a few days, until something else that I like will take it's place.  That reminds me of an old bad joke:

Who's there?
Cecil.
Cecil who?
Cecil have music wherever he goes.

.... all right... had enough?  me too.. bye

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Energy Wasters; Gnomes; Starbucks; Funeral Home; Espanol; Dogs and Cats; Your Brain; Escape Plan; New Disease

Snow again!  Big flakes.  But the ground is too warm for it to stick.  One day it is in the upper 70's, and the next day it's 30 degrees.  Go figure.

Today I am just going to dip into Prepop's box of "goodies" and see if there is anything of interest to talk about.

Energy Vampires

Readers Digest listed some items that consume a lot of kilowatt-hours.  Most of them use power just by being plugged in.  They suggest plugging everything into power strips so that you can actually shut them off and save money.  Some of the biggest users:

Cordless phone base station: 28.9 KWH in a year

DVD Player:  78.8

Laptop:  144.5

Game Console:  233.9

Computer:  311

Plasma TV:  1,452.4

Gross Out your Neighbors

I received an ad from Haband for some lawn ornaments they call Gnaughty Gnomes.  For just $15.99, you can get a "Gangster Gnome"  who stands guard over your yard with a machine gun and a leering face that I guess must say: "Make my day!"   I'll bet lots of NRA members have these on display.

Or.. for the same price, you can get the "Gnome on a Throne."  You can guess what that looks like.  Haband says "Hilarity will ensue!"

Free Enterprise

The Week mentions that a South Carolina funeral home is opening a Starbucks coffee shop in its lobby.  I wonder if this is the same South Carolina funeral home that has "drive up" visitations for the deceased?

By the way, Santa Fe Springs, California has the world's largest concentration of Starbucks outlets.  There are 560 of them within 25 miles of the town.

Did I mention that the Westminster Target now has an embedded Starbucks?  I ordered a decaf coffee and got the worst tasting cup of mud that I have ever had.

Habla Espanol?

The Harper's index mentions that there about 41 million native Spanish speakers in the U.S. and 43 million native Spanish speakers in Spain.

Pet Population

Mental Floss magazine says there are 78.2 million dogs in the U.S., but 86.4 million cats,  even though 74% of Americans say they like dogs a lot, and  only 41% say they like cats a lot.

My late brother in law, Moe, was a major cat hater when he was a kid... he and his buddy used to catch cats and throw them into the sewer.  However, when he became an adult he suddenly found that he loved cats.  Did he have an epiphany?

Your Brain

AARP ran a "Brain Test", the results of which follow:

o  Your brain consumes one-fifth of the total energy that your body expends when resting.  (Eleven calories per hour.)

o  After age 20, thousands of brain cells die every day.

o  Memory loss with age is avoidable.

o  Your brain feels no pain.

o  Your brain is 60 percent fat.

o  Most of us use almost all of our brains every day.

I was proud of my aging brain today.  I completed the latest British cryptic puzzle in the BBC Music magazine.  That was a great workout for my brain cells because it was a very difficult puzzle.  The brain likes exercise just like bodily muscles.. muscles as well as brain cells grow when they are challenged.

Useful Advice

Readers Digest contributor, Dick Becker, said that he saw a marquee outside of the Dannemora, New  York prison that read:  "The Dannemora fire department reminds you it's fire prevention week.  Practice your escape plan."

Guilt by Association

According to  Dick Cavett:  Mark Twain once heard that a "blue nose" librarian had removed "Tom Sawyer" and "Huckleberry Finn" from the library's shelves because she felt they were "dangerous" for children.  Twain wrote her that she was indeed right because he had written them for adults  and cautioned her not to  leave them anywhere near a bible. 

Great Bad News

Readers Digest again.. from Tyler King:    Dr. Smith asks his patient, "Which do you want first, the good news or the bad news?"

The patient replies, "Give me the good news."

Dr. Smith says, "You're about  to have a disease named after you."


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Saint Patrick's Day;

This is a post for a sunny St. Patrick's Day... March 17, 2016

Sherri Stick found some St. Patrick's Day trivia at ClassroomCreative.com, and brought them to the attention of her Carroll Lutheran Village Train the Brain Class:

1.  In what year was the first North American celebration of St. Patrick's Day?

I guessed 1825,  but it actually was 1737!  Before the American Revolution.

2.  Where was the first St. Patrick's Day parade held?

I would bet money that it was Boston.   But it actually was New York.

3.  What was Saint Patrick's birth name?

Patty O'Brien?  No.. you dummy... it was:  Maewyn Succat. Does this sound Irish?

4.  According to Guiness, what is the most number of leaves found on a clover?

Now how could such a small plant have a lot of leaves?  I guessed 7.   The answer: 56!

5.  During St. Patrick's time, what was the National color of Ireland?

Well, it probably wasn't green... it was blue.

6.  What will happen if you don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day?

I thought that you probably would be mugged by a leprechaun.  I was close... actually, you will get pinched, but not necessarily by a leprechaun.

7.  What does "Erin go Braugh" mean?

I guessed "Ireland, get strong!".. but the answer is "Ireland Forever."

8.  What is a leprechaun's occupation?

I thought that a leprechaun's job was to keep track of humans and play tricks on them.    Actually, leprechauns have always been shoemakers.... even though they still like to play jokes on humans.

Now, aren't you glad that you know so much more about Saint Patrick's Day and what all this Irish business is all about?  Over the years, several persons have remarked that I have "the map of Ireland" on my face.  Could be.. whenever I find out who my real father is... maybe I can trace him back to Ireland.  Ancestry.com's DNA testing indicates that Irish blood could run in my veins.

I would, however, make a poor Irishman.  I don't like Irish whiskey.  I don't like Harp beer very much.   I don't like Guiness Stout at all.  But I do like to "run my mouth", and I love a good story.  And, of course, I love people of Irish descent, and I especially like their accents.

And what about their great music?  And Irish-themed Broadway shows?  But, the Irish dancers pounding on the stage gives me a headache.  That's just a mild irritation.. all in all.. I love everything Irish... so, my badge today reads:

KISS ME!  I'M IRISH!

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!

A Tale of Two Cities; Boston and New Bedford; Grandkids, pay attention

Another sunny and warm 70 degree day!

Today, something reminded me of the time I lived in Boston.  I want to talk about it a little, so that my children can read it and shake their heads.

I started at Boston University soon after my late wife, Elaine, and I got married.  We wanted to live in Boston so that I would not have to make a 120 mile commute every day.  Helped by an office in the college, we investigated a lot of places.  Most places were either dumps or much too expensive for my G.I. Bill payments.  But then, we found a nice place right across from the college.. it was like a rooming house for couples, where the husband went to school, and the wife stayed home.

The woman who ran it said she was a relative of the Hawaiian Dole Pineapple empire.  In fact, there were framed pictures of pineapple trees throughout the house.  Mrs. "Dole" took an instant liking to Elaine, and offered us a wonderful boarding house deal.  We were relaxed about it until Mrs. "Dole" said to Elaine:  "Now, your turns as "mother' will be Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  Then you will be able to take care of all the 'tea-time' activity.  We'll  have a lovely time."

Wait a minute... Elaine wanted no part in any "tea party mother" stuff, and so we left what I thought would have been a great opportunity.  The way that Mrs. "Dole" gushed over Elaine, and based on her advanced age, she probably would have "croaked" sometime soon and left her a nice inheritance.  But Elaine didn't want to play that game, so we went off to look some more.

It was now getting dark and we only had one place left to inspect.  It was a big brownstone on Dudley Street in Roxbury, a suburb of Boston.   The landlord had a beautiful apartment, which contained a grand piano that he played for us.  He was a professional musician, so how could we go wrong?

The back room apartment we rented was not fancy, but all right.  Because of the darkness, we could not see out of  any of the windows to see what the backyard looked like.  I mean... how could it be anything but neat, like our landlord's apartment?

Were we in for a surprise when we woke up the next morning.  Looking out the window, we were rewarded with a view of garbage piled up everywhere, with narrow lanes carved out so that humans and rats could find their way about.  I must admit, though, that the small area in back of our apartment was shoveled out a bit, more than others, but still not much.   Alas.. it was too late to back out.  We had to live with keeping the windows closed and the shades down.

Unfortunately, a couple of weeks later, Elaine's father decided to come visit us.  We tried real hard to keep him from looking outside... but near the end of his visit he sneaked a peek... his reaction was:

"Jesus Christ!"    He tried to get us to leave, but we decided to stick it out, at least for one semester.

Every weekday I would take a bus, an elevated and a subway to get to Boston University.  The first day on the train platform, a woman suddenly grabbed me and shouted:  "I've found you, Mr. Mystery!"  When I said that I wasn't that man, she went away.   However, such an encounter happened twice again before I reached the school.  What the hell was going on?

It finally dawned on me.. a Boston radio station was having a contest.  "Find Mr. Mystery and win $50, " and I was wearing a suit and tie and looking at the world through designer sunglasses.  I had won these glasses in a blackjack game when I was stationed in Germany.  I won them from Willy, whose home used to be Baltimore incidentally.  I caught Willy cheating by making fingernail marks in all of the low cards.  Apparently nobody else noticed.  So, playing his own game against him, I took all of his money and in a last-ditch effort, he put up his favorite expensive sun glasses. Yes, I took him to the cleaners, so to speak.  (He was not very happy about this and did try to kill me a little later, but that's another story.)

Once I stopped wearing the sunglasses, nobody took any notice of me.

Meanwhile, while we were living in the Boston area, we didn't need to drive our car, so we parked it on a side street and kind of forgot about it, until a couple of weeks later we learned that Elaine's grandmother had died and we needed to drive to New Bedford to attend the funeral.

I went to where we had parked our car.  It was gone.  Somebody had stolen it!  When I reported it to the police, they told me that it wasn't stolen.  It was impounded because in Boston, nobody can allow their car to be parked in one place for more that 48 hours.  We were told that we could come to the impound lot, pay the fine and fees and get our car back.   We used some of our small amount of cash to take a cab to the lot where an old red-faced Boston Irish cop said we had to pay something like $100.  We did not have it.  So, he said that they would keep it for a while.  There would be additional fees added each day.   Elaine started to cry.

Elaine's crying broke this old Irish cop's heart and he relented and said that we could take our car if we promised to pay the bill when we came back to Boston.  We were glad for this kindness and Elaine decided to leave her watch with him as forfeit.  We later came back, paid our bill and got Elaine's watch back.

Once we had our car back from the impound lot, we traveled to New Bedford for the sad funeral.  Elaine's Memere was a very nice lady who spoke French, except when I was with her, when she used broken-English.  We loved her and were very sad.  I was allowed to be one of the pall-bearers at the funeral which was held in the largest and most beautiful French-Canadian catholic church in South-Eastern Massachusetts. 

During the beautiful service and mass, the young priest spent a lot of time with the censer wafting perfumed air over the casket... but, he also spent some time next to where I was sitting on the aisle... I had showered that morning, so I know that it wasn't my smell that he was trying to cover up... it must be... could it be?

He must have known I wasn't catholic!

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Ides of March; Getting Taller; Beetles; End Times; Moving to Canada; Hood Ornaments; Texas Education

Overcast, but not too cold.  I went to the Social Security Alumni board meeting at the Double T Diner near Woodlawn.  Nice to see my old friends again.  Bonnie Ciborowski is now the President and she is doing a good job. 

Today is the "Ides of March".. watch out, Julius!  I tried to figure out what the Ides of March were all about.  According to the Internet, the Roman calendar had three spots in each month that were important:

Nones:  the 5th or 7th of the month

Ides:  the 13th or 15th of the month (depending on the length of the month)

Kalends:  the 1st of the following month

"On the earliest calendar, the Ides of March would have occurred on the first full month of the new year".... this was when March was considered the first month of the year.

Also,   some  God had to be worshipped on the Ides.. by the sacrifice of the Ides sheep... whatever that all means... if you are interested, look it up, but be careful where you look, and be ready to be confused.

The Week magazine for March 18, 2016 had some items that I thought were very interesting.

Getting Stretched

Astronaut Scott Kelly grew 2 inches during his year in orbit.  Wow!  Can I go up?  As I am constantly complaining... I have lost 4 inches in height since I was a teen-ager.  My arthritis professionals say that is fairly common.. as one's vertebrae scrunch with age.

When I worked at the New Bedford YMCA, I helped a few guys get taller.  They wanted to join the police department, but they were too short to meet the 5 foot 8 inches requirement.  Some of these guys were just a quarter to a half inch shorter than the requirement, and a lot of hanging by the knees and heels, and stretching on the "horse" and rings got them close... or so they said.  I just think that the height requirement was met by passing a visual test.  Who is going to turn away a muscular weightlifter because he is just a quarter inch too short?

Visual examination is vital to a lot of jobs.  "Close enough!" is ok sometime... like when I had my first job.  I was a Diesel Fitter at a lady's underwear factory.  That's right.  My job was to hold each "bloomer" up to the light for examination, and if it looked ok, I would yell out: "Dies'll fit 'er!"

Sorry about that.. but I love that joke.

The End Times are here

We know that because millions of beetles are invading a Buenos Aires beach, turning miles of nice yellowish sand into a black carpet of writhing creatures.  Some think that this is an omen.

Some enterprising guy has been scooping them up and selling them for food... good source of protein.

Lunch in Baltimore

Speaking of beetles... I once drove my family to a diner where my late wife and I ate our meals when we first came to Baltimore.  I loved the place because I could get a real cold glass of beer to complement my burger.  The diner looked a little rundown and there were guys whispering in some of the booths.  On the counter were old-fashioned record selecting machines, with the selections written on cardboard strips that revolved so you could pick your favorite.

We got out hotdogs and burgers and just before we began eating, my son, Chris, said, "Hey, look. beetles!"  Thinking it was the Fav guys, we took a look to see what the selection was... but it wasn't the singing group that we saw in the glass enclosure, but a family of nice fat cockroaches.  We grabbed our food and hurried outside, tossing all of our hotdogs and burgers into a dumpster.

Montreal here we come

The magazine mentions that Google searches for "Move to Canada" have soared, thanks to Mr. Trump's successful candidacy.  (As bad as people think Mr Trump is, I can't imagine that he would be as bad as  double-u.  I could be wrong on that.)

I once got stopped in Canada by a guy bumming for cigarettes or money.  When I didn't give him either, he swore at me in terms that made me believe he was an American ExPat. But he did  talk to me a bit.  He told me that he and lots of his friends moved to Canada to avoid the VietNam draft.  So, I gave him a Canadian quarter.

Hood Ornaments

I read a nice article while waiting for my RAV4 to be serviced.  It was either in the Elks magazine or the American Legion magazine.  It was all about hood ornaments and how they evolved.  Extremely interesting, I was tempted to tear it  out.

Meanwhile, I'm sure you have heard about the lady who was driving around with a 15-foot tree stuck in her car's front grill.  What a scene!  And apparently she was so drunk that she didn't remember how it got there.  Yes, that would be a great hood ornament.

More Texas Education

A retired school teacher who is running for the Texas Board of Education has some ideas about the world today.  Here are a few: 

She says that President Obama worked as a gay prostitute.

She also says that school shootings are the result of teaching evolution.

She advocates a ban on Islam in America.

Imagine the ideas that this former school teacher planted in her students' minds, and now, she wants to do it State-wide.  Does Cruz agree with her?
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Indian Marriage; How To be a Terrific Person

Overcast rainy day.. but not too cold.

Today I want to publish some great information that I received from an Indian guy named Shrini.  Shrini was in Toastmasters with me some time ago.  Shrini was in his late 20's and felt that it was time to get married, so he contacted his parents back in India, and told them how he felt.  His parents then searched and found a match for him.

Shrini went nervously to India to marry the lady that the family had picked.  When he came back to the US, he had his new bride with him.  She was breathtakingly beautiful!  Also, she had what Shrini had, a Masters Degree in Computer Technology.  Shrini could not stop smiling.

How to be a Terrific Person

o  Treat the ones you love better than anyone else in the world.

o  Consistently speak lovingly to them.

o  Never take your anxieties or troubles out on them.

o  If you say "sorry" .. mean it.

o  Give, give, and give more.

o  Stop looking for differences.  Look for similarities.

o  When good things happen to others, get excited as if it happened to you.

o  Don't sweat the small stuff.  Don't be petty.

o  Empower and inspire people by believing in them.

o  Always perpetuate the spiral of friendship.  Share terrific people with others.

How do you recognize a Terrific Person?

o  Do you feel excited and energized after talking to or being with this person?

o  Are you in a great mood when  you are around this person?

o  Deep down, do you really like the person and do you feel he or she likes you?

o  Do you come away feeling confident after being around this person?

o  Does the person make you feel great, attractive, intelligent, respected and worthy?

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Be honest now... are you a terrific person?

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