Why do people try to figure out how to time-travel when we have it already in our power to move forward or backward in time? Yes we can. By using our brains. For instance, I can think about the house I lived in over 70 years ago, and it as though I were there again. Also, I can visualize a future time in my "mind's eye" ..
For now, let's travel back to 2008 and see what was going on then.. and maybe guess at what became of that period's burning issues, and what may happen to them in the future.
Year 2008: P. Babcock. 35, of Kansas had been sitting on her boyfriend's toilet for two years. As a result, her skin had grown around the seat. The seat was detached and forwarded with Pam to the local hospital, where it was surgically removed from her butt.
Year 2018: P. probably is one of those 600 pound plus persons now and probably would crush any old fashioned toilet seat. We'll never know for sure, but we can guess and visualize.
Year 2028: I predict that P goes to Doctor M in Atlanta and loses 450 pounds after a stomach by-pass procedure. After a "flabby skin shave," P becomes a svelte model. Nobody knows she is 55 years old. She and her boyfriend have started their own business, selling organic toilet seats.
.............................................................................................................................
Year 2008: A 50-year-old woman in Saudi Arabia filed for divorce because he husband lifted up her veil and looked at her face while she was sleeping. She had kept her face hidden for 30 years and although her husband apologized, she will not forgive him.
Year 2018: I suspect there was a different reason for hiding her face than religious fervor. She probably was ugly as hell. Today, at 60, she is probably wishing she still had her ex husband in her lonely life. Although, now that she can legally drive, maybe she would not need a husband anymore.
Year 2028: The Saudi woman tricked everyone by becoming one of the wives of the new crown prince.. the former one is awaiting execution for the murder of some journalist or other. At 70 years of age, she runs the harem. Since she was 50 years old, no other man has even tried to sneak a peek at her face.
................................................................................................................................
Year 2008: German tour company OssiUrlaub has started the world's first nudist airline. After boarding, passengers can drop their trousers and sit on hygienic seat covers, as they wing it to a "naturist" spa on a Baltic island.
Year 2018: Some nudists have planned weddings on that Baltic island and some now have even had their weddings on the plane. There have been some problems with that though, like when the wedding party couldn't agree on who was the "best man," and then they didn't like where he wanted to hold the ring.
Year 2028: Since the whole Baltic area has now become mandatory nudist territory, many airlines serve that population. Lots of folks fly in for a vacation where they can "hang out" for a fortnight.
...................................................................................................................................
Year 2008: Yoda, the cat with four ears, has become an Internet sensation. However, many people feel that Yoda is the devil incarnate. She certainly looks evil enough. And who can prove that is not true.
Year 2018: At 20 years of age, Yoda does not seem to be aging as her fellow felines. Perhaps she is the devil, or at least an imp. She has a big staff of humans who do her every bidding. But then, that is not much different from what other cats manage.
Year 2028: Now 40 years old, Yoda is still around. She hasn't even begun to work on Life #2. One suspects now that Yoda is really Donald Trump, former President. We all know that DJT disappeared early in 2019 when Nancy Pelosi put a curse on him. As evil as he was, he must have made a pact with the devil to keep people working for him. We wonder what he offered Satan for his transformation, because he obviously did not have a soul to barter with.
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Tuesday, December 25, 2018
Sunday, December 16, 2018
Quick Views
I'm finding less and less time to do blog entries, but I need to keep my fingertips in the pot.. so to speak. So, here are a few thoughts.
Toys R $ for this Kid: Ryan, who is 7 years old, reviews toys on YouTube and this earned him $22 million in 2017! Almost as much as trump received from his father when he was 7 years old.
(When I was 7 years old, my 2nd grade teacher slugged me. I must have done something really bad.)
(My short-lived life of crime probably started in 2nd grade. It stopped when I was in 4th grade. And there is an amazing story there, which I recount in other blog entries.)
(A poor little 7 year old died from dehydration after her trip from Guatemala, to our nasty border. I would bet that there are lots more bad stories like this. When will we ever learn?)
Retirement $ for this Retiree: I read where Americans expect to have saved $250,000 by retirement, although they feel as though they need $610,000. Doesn't seem to add up. Experts say that if you want a "nice" retirement, you need to have saved at least $1,000,000 at retirement time. (I was a millionaire once, believe it or not.)
However, retirement living in a continuing care community ate most of that up in short order. But... the community will take care of me til I die, even if all of the rest of my money evaporates.. so the expense is worth it, in my opinion.
They will probably win their case if the judge rules like was done in another case where a guy broke into a home to burglarize it, hurt himself, and then sued for damages... and got them!
............................................................................................................................................................
Toys R $ for this Kid: Ryan, who is 7 years old, reviews toys on YouTube and this earned him $22 million in 2017! Almost as much as trump received from his father when he was 7 years old.
(When I was 7 years old, my 2nd grade teacher slugged me. I must have done something really bad.)
(My short-lived life of crime probably started in 2nd grade. It stopped when I was in 4th grade. And there is an amazing story there, which I recount in other blog entries.)
(A poor little 7 year old died from dehydration after her trip from Guatemala, to our nasty border. I would bet that there are lots more bad stories like this. When will we ever learn?)
Retirement $ for this Retiree: I read where Americans expect to have saved $250,000 by retirement, although they feel as though they need $610,000. Doesn't seem to add up. Experts say that if you want a "nice" retirement, you need to have saved at least $1,000,000 at retirement time. (I was a millionaire once, believe it or not.)
Pending Legal Claim: Two women who broke into a closed amusement park are suing for injuries sustained when they were hurt sliding down a non-operating mechanical ride. They want damages because the park owners "should have had safety features which worked when the ride was shut off.
They will probably win their case if the judge rules like was done in another case where a guy broke into a home to burglarize it, hurt himself, and then sued for damages... and got them!
............................................................................................................................................................
Sunday, December 9, 2018
Some More Stuff
Lots going on. Schadenfreude nochmals over problems that trump is having. Seems to me that he is already an "indicted" co-conspiritor with Cohen and Manafort.
Here are a few life items in no specific order.
1. Son Chris and his beautiful wife, Kathleen, are waiting (not patiently) for my new grandson to be born. Chris says that Kathleen is eating special foods known to hasten birthing. Her due date is next Thursday, December 13th. My daughter, Diane, will be acting "doolah" to assist and encourage Kathleen in the birthing room. Should be a very happy time.
2. A Netflix presentation from the Korean Broadcasting System, has a section in which they discuss how to eliminate Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT). They interview a lady with CMT who had the CMT gene removed from sperm and ovum (I think.) The Chinese are messing with genes too. Soon, we will all live forever... not me.. I' already too old. My new grandson should live a very long life. I just hope that trump disappears so that the world will not disappear too.
3. At yesterday's Genealogy Gang meeting, we discussed DNA, and of course, I monopolized the conversation. I'm waiting for Douglas Ivan Gifford's DNA test through Ancestry to be finalized. There could be three results: a. He is my brother. b. He is my cousin. c. He is an adoptee and is not a Gifford after all. Time will tell.
4. Also, as the meeting, I mentioned how one can easily set up a blog and fill it with family information and then cheaply (I think) print it into a nice book. I did this twice and have two very nice books. I'll bring them into the meeting next month.
Enough for now... I don't have much time for blogging lately.
Here are a few life items in no specific order.
1. Son Chris and his beautiful wife, Kathleen, are waiting (not patiently) for my new grandson to be born. Chris says that Kathleen is eating special foods known to hasten birthing. Her due date is next Thursday, December 13th. My daughter, Diane, will be acting "doolah" to assist and encourage Kathleen in the birthing room. Should be a very happy time.
2. A Netflix presentation from the Korean Broadcasting System, has a section in which they discuss how to eliminate Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT). They interview a lady with CMT who had the CMT gene removed from sperm and ovum (I think.) The Chinese are messing with genes too. Soon, we will all live forever... not me.. I' already too old. My new grandson should live a very long life. I just hope that trump disappears so that the world will not disappear too.
3. At yesterday's Genealogy Gang meeting, we discussed DNA, and of course, I monopolized the conversation. I'm waiting for Douglas Ivan Gifford's DNA test through Ancestry to be finalized. There could be three results: a. He is my brother. b. He is my cousin. c. He is an adoptee and is not a Gifford after all. Time will tell.
4. Also, as the meeting, I mentioned how one can easily set up a blog and fill it with family information and then cheaply (I think) print it into a nice book. I did this twice and have two very nice books. I'll bring them into the meeting next month.
Enough for now... I don't have much time for blogging lately.
Wednesday, November 21, 2018
Even More Observations
I guess djt can't control himself. After fighting with another war hero, he is into it with Chief Justice Roberts!
This week, djt also said that he is a Nationalist. Well.. so was Hitler. This is what Charles de Gaulle said on the subject:
"Patriotism is when love of your own people comes first; nationalism, when hate of people other than your own comes first."
................................................................................
Names can hurt: Jessica Manafort wants to legally change her name to Jessica Anne Bond. She says that she is a "passionate liberal" and a filmmaker. She says that the name will more closely reflect her profession. (How? I think she just wants to keep people from judging her by her father, Paul Manafort.
....................................................................................
New Scrabble Words: Two new legal words have now been added to the Scrabble vocabulary:
ew and ok
....................................................................................
Shame! Last July, Facebook censored five paragraphs of the Declaration of Independence for being inappropriate.
......................................................................................,
Appropriate word: Dictionary.com named "complicit" as the 2017 Word of the Year. It means: "Choosing to be involved in an illegal or questionable act, especially with others."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
This week, djt also said that he is a Nationalist. Well.. so was Hitler. This is what Charles de Gaulle said on the subject:
"Patriotism is when love of your own people comes first; nationalism, when hate of people other than your own comes first."
................................................................................
Names can hurt: Jessica Manafort wants to legally change her name to Jessica Anne Bond. She says that she is a "passionate liberal" and a filmmaker. She says that the name will more closely reflect her profession. (How? I think she just wants to keep people from judging her by her father, Paul Manafort.
....................................................................................
New Scrabble Words: Two new legal words have now been added to the Scrabble vocabulary:
ew and ok
....................................................................................
Shame! Last July, Facebook censored five paragraphs of the Declaration of Independence for being inappropriate.
......................................................................................,
Appropriate word: Dictionary.com named "complicit" as the 2017 Word of the Year. It means: "Choosing to be involved in an illegal or questionable act, especially with others."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Friday, November 16, 2018
Some More Observations
Our furnace gave out today at 2 am - on a 28 degree day with 6 inches of snow. OY!
Deja bus
Recently, a Greyhound bus driver lost his way on a trip from Ohio to New York. Passengers got a little alarmed when they saw the same gas station over and over through their windows. The driver, who was (as women say: a typical male) refused help from passengers with GPS apps and he finally completed the run, although he was 4 hours late.
I recently gave up and decided that I will now fully utilize the GPS system in our van, rather than get lost, as I did a couple of times so far in 2018.
How could I have ever gotten lost, because all of my life I have been blessed with internal maps.. it started when I was given a two-week stay at Camp Royal Ambassador, in Maine. A friend's father drove us up and through Boston, and I was able to guide him through the Boston mess, and then guide him back home at the end of the stay. (I think I was 12 years old.)
Yes, I know, I need to tell you how I got lost two times in 2018.
First: My granddaughter, Adrienne, was getting married on an out-of-the-way farm in Pennsylvania. I decided that we should do a dry run to get there, so we would not get lost on the wedding day.
Carefully plotting the way on a map and following good signage, we made the trip in under one hour.
So, now that we had done the trip successfully once, we should have no trouble getting to the wedding on time. Wrong! In one of the small towns we went through there was a fork in the road. This time, I took the wrong fork and we ended up lost and late for the wedding.
In a panic, I used my cell phone to call my son, Chris, to see if he could give me directions from where we were. Chris said: "Don't you have GPS?"
Holy cow! Yes I did, even though I had never used it or felt that I needed it. But now.. being lost, I decided to get baptized in my GPS System. Bingo! It gave us instructions that allowed us to get to the wedding only 45 minutes late... and they had held up the wedding for us.
Now, I said to myself: Dumb Ass! Start to use the GPS. Lose that stupid pride!
Last: I attended a function in Glen Burnie, Maryland and I asked myself: how hard could it be to get there without the GPS? No problem. I rolled right along and got there in plenty of time. However, the return trip boggled my mind.. I thought sure that I would have no problem reversing my arrival channels. Dump ass again! For a trip that would have taken me 45 minutes, I spent 90 minutes acting like that Greyhound driver. I hope that I have now learned to stifle my pride and use my GPS.
BORING! Yes, I know.
In the Buff Stuff
Some Florida folks are asking the police to stop one of their neighbors from mowing his grass or washing his car in the nude. Is there a Constitutional amendment for this?
Once, my late wife and I were asked to deliver an important package to an acquaintance who played for the Boston Symphony. We tracked him down to a seaside cottage across town. My wife and I knocked on the front door of the cottage and when it opened, we saw what probably was half of the Boston Symphony artists playing their instruments in the nude.
There was police blotter notice about a woman who complained that her neighbor walked around his property in the nude. When the policeman went to investigate, he noted that there was a fifteen foot fence all along his property. When he asked the woman how she could see the nude man when the high wall would block anyone's view. She replied, "Well, if you stand on a ladder, you have a good view."
................................................................................
\
Deja bus
Recently, a Greyhound bus driver lost his way on a trip from Ohio to New York. Passengers got a little alarmed when they saw the same gas station over and over through their windows. The driver, who was (as women say: a typical male) refused help from passengers with GPS apps and he finally completed the run, although he was 4 hours late.
I recently gave up and decided that I will now fully utilize the GPS system in our van, rather than get lost, as I did a couple of times so far in 2018.
How could I have ever gotten lost, because all of my life I have been blessed with internal maps.. it started when I was given a two-week stay at Camp Royal Ambassador, in Maine. A friend's father drove us up and through Boston, and I was able to guide him through the Boston mess, and then guide him back home at the end of the stay. (I think I was 12 years old.)
Yes, I know, I need to tell you how I got lost two times in 2018.
First: My granddaughter, Adrienne, was getting married on an out-of-the-way farm in Pennsylvania. I decided that we should do a dry run to get there, so we would not get lost on the wedding day.
Carefully plotting the way on a map and following good signage, we made the trip in under one hour.
So, now that we had done the trip successfully once, we should have no trouble getting to the wedding on time. Wrong! In one of the small towns we went through there was a fork in the road. This time, I took the wrong fork and we ended up lost and late for the wedding.
In a panic, I used my cell phone to call my son, Chris, to see if he could give me directions from where we were. Chris said: "Don't you have GPS?"
Holy cow! Yes I did, even though I had never used it or felt that I needed it. But now.. being lost, I decided to get baptized in my GPS System. Bingo! It gave us instructions that allowed us to get to the wedding only 45 minutes late... and they had held up the wedding for us.
Now, I said to myself: Dumb Ass! Start to use the GPS. Lose that stupid pride!
Last: I attended a function in Glen Burnie, Maryland and I asked myself: how hard could it be to get there without the GPS? No problem. I rolled right along and got there in plenty of time. However, the return trip boggled my mind.. I thought sure that I would have no problem reversing my arrival channels. Dump ass again! For a trip that would have taken me 45 minutes, I spent 90 minutes acting like that Greyhound driver. I hope that I have now learned to stifle my pride and use my GPS.
BORING! Yes, I know.
In the Buff Stuff
Some Florida folks are asking the police to stop one of their neighbors from mowing his grass or washing his car in the nude. Is there a Constitutional amendment for this?
Once, my late wife and I were asked to deliver an important package to an acquaintance who played for the Boston Symphony. We tracked him down to a seaside cottage across town. My wife and I knocked on the front door of the cottage and when it opened, we saw what probably was half of the Boston Symphony artists playing their instruments in the nude.
There was police blotter notice about a woman who complained that her neighbor walked around his property in the nude. When the policeman went to investigate, he noted that there was a fifteen foot fence all along his property. When he asked the woman how she could see the nude man when the high wall would block anyone's view. She replied, "Well, if you stand on a ladder, you have a good view."
................................................................................
\
Monday, November 12, 2018
Observations
Looking at some entries in my old "Joe Reads the News" blog, I find lots of comments from Arabs.. most of it in Arabic, but a little in English. They say they like the blog... I wonder why.
To take my mind off of some sad things this last week.. I will try to obtain catharsis by mentioning things in the recent news cycles that appear weird to me.
But, before that, let me quote a famous philosopher:
"People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns,, I will resume my life.' If you didn't know what sleep was and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird and tell all your friends about the movie you'd seen." George Carlin
Think about it!
Are we in Kansas yet, Toto?
Using the forensic talents of the FBI, the famous ruby slippers from The Wizard Of Oz movie were recovered and returned to the Minnesota museum where they were stolen 13 years ago.
That reminds me of a great recent cartoon that showed Trump as the Wizard, but with the curtain behind him opened enough to show Putin manipulating Trump's strings.
No poopie on the floor, Chickie.
It had to happen. Recently, people have begun to keep chickens as pets. So, an enterprising lady in New Hampshire has opened a business selling cloth diapers for chickens.
Famous Hoaxer Dies... maybe.
Alan Abel died in October. He was a hoaxer extraordinaire! Some of his hoaxes were:
He founded SINA (the Society for Indecency to Naked Animals, whose motto was: A nude horse is a rude horse. The stated goal of the society was to clothe any animal "that stands higher than 4 inches or is longer than 6 inches."
He founded Omar's School for Beggars in New York City. This was designed for the newly poor to learn the "tricks of the trade."
He started the First Topless String Quartet (Bach with Breasts.)
In 1980, he faked his own death. Fake grieving widow; fake undertaker; fake obituaries. He "rose from the dead" a little while later. However, he was now afraid that if he were to really die, nobody would believe it. (We'll see.)
Interfaith Hypocricy
Recently, famous sycophant, Mike Pence, made a big show of meeting with a "rabbi" to honor the victims of the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting. As usual, Mike showed his true feelings, because the "rabbi" was Loren Jacobs, a Messianic Jew, who tries to convert Jews to Christianity.
........................................................................
To take my mind off of some sad things this last week.. I will try to obtain catharsis by mentioning things in the recent news cycles that appear weird to me.
But, before that, let me quote a famous philosopher:
"People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns,, I will resume my life.' If you didn't know what sleep was and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird and tell all your friends about the movie you'd seen." George Carlin
Think about it!
Are we in Kansas yet, Toto?
Using the forensic talents of the FBI, the famous ruby slippers from The Wizard Of Oz movie were recovered and returned to the Minnesota museum where they were stolen 13 years ago.
That reminds me of a great recent cartoon that showed Trump as the Wizard, but with the curtain behind him opened enough to show Putin manipulating Trump's strings.
No poopie on the floor, Chickie.
It had to happen. Recently, people have begun to keep chickens as pets. So, an enterprising lady in New Hampshire has opened a business selling cloth diapers for chickens.
Famous Hoaxer Dies... maybe.
Alan Abel died in October. He was a hoaxer extraordinaire! Some of his hoaxes were:
He founded SINA (the Society for Indecency to Naked Animals, whose motto was: A nude horse is a rude horse. The stated goal of the society was to clothe any animal "that stands higher than 4 inches or is longer than 6 inches."
He founded Omar's School for Beggars in New York City. This was designed for the newly poor to learn the "tricks of the trade."
He started the First Topless String Quartet (Bach with Breasts.)
In 1980, he faked his own death. Fake grieving widow; fake undertaker; fake obituaries. He "rose from the dead" a little while later. However, he was now afraid that if he were to really die, nobody would believe it. (We'll see.)
Interfaith Hypocricy
Recently, famous sycophant, Mike Pence, made a big show of meeting with a "rabbi" to honor the victims of the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting. As usual, Mike showed his true feelings, because the "rabbi" was Loren Jacobs, a Messianic Jew, who tries to convert Jews to Christianity.
........................................................................
Saturday, November 10, 2018
"Worst of Times and the Best of Times"
Recently, I learned through DNA that I had a cousin named Pat Shinn. Pat lived in Florida with her daughter Cheryl and other relatives. We go acquainted by mail and Pat wished that I was the brother that she never had (her twin brother died close to birth.) I was pleased to grant her wish and become her putative brother Joe. We had a nice correspondence going on until last week when she passed away because of diabetes complications. This was very sad and a "worse time" for me... but also a "best time" because I had gotten to know a sweet "sister" I didn't know I had... even though it was for a short time.
Rescquiat in pacem, dear sister.
Rescquiat in pacem, dear sister.
Sunday, October 28, 2018
Welcome to the Nut House
What a couple of days! Pipe bombs and synagogue shootings. My analysis is.. trump is either firing up the nuts or at least creating an atmosphere where the nuts can function. I'm anxious to see if his plan works.. he wants all republicans to vote as though they were voting for him again. God help us if his party stays completely in charge for another 2 years!
Meanwhile, other nutty things are going on. Just look at some of the entries in The Week's Good Week/Bad Week Section.
Watch out for Ice Bergs: Yes, it had to happen. A company is building an exact replica of the 1912 Titanic. Blue Star Lines says they want to deliver the "authentic"Titanic experience.
T says It's OK to Grope: A Florida man who "groped" a woman on a plane flight told officers that it was ok for him to do that because the president said so.
By the Light of the Satellite Moon: Chengdu, China, will no longer have a need for street lights because an artificial moon will direct sun's rays over that city beginning in 2020. There goes romance!
Don't mess with Mahler in Sweden: Some guy whose wife dragged him to see a performance of Gustav Mahler's 5th Symphony, decided to noisily unwrap his Mars bars during the symphony's fourth movement. Bad move! Big brawl ensued.
I know, I know. These pictures are not great for the words. Also, my entries are not original. What the hell. I like all of it, and I'm an old opinionated dude who likes what he likes. So there!
........................................................................................................
Meanwhile, other nutty things are going on. Just look at some of the entries in The Week's Good Week/Bad Week Section.
Watch out for Ice Bergs: Yes, it had to happen. A company is building an exact replica of the 1912 Titanic. Blue Star Lines says they want to deliver the "authentic"Titanic experience.
T says It's OK to Grope: A Florida man who "groped" a woman on a plane flight told officers that it was ok for him to do that because the president said so.
By the Light of the Satellite Moon: Chengdu, China, will no longer have a need for street lights because an artificial moon will direct sun's rays over that city beginning in 2020. There goes romance!
Don't mess with Mahler in Sweden: Some guy whose wife dragged him to see a performance of Gustav Mahler's 5th Symphony, decided to noisily unwrap his Mars bars during the symphony's fourth movement. Bad move! Big brawl ensued.
I know, I know. These pictures are not great for the words. Also, my entries are not original. What the hell. I like all of it, and I'm an old opinionated dude who likes what he likes. So there!
........................................................................................................
Monday, October 22, 2018
Catalog to help me remember and relive some childhood experiences.
My Stories: a short compilation to help my memory.
Age 5: Ballpean assist for bullies.
Age 7: Teacher slugs me... I must have done something very bad.
Age 9: The Dozens at Cook School
Age 9: County Street, Whaling Captain's house.
Age 9: Allen F. Wood slum school with holes in the floor.
Age 9: Miss Savage changes my IQ test entries.
Age 9: My Bravados Islands friends
Age 9: Marjorie kills some of my friendships.
Age 9: Vacation at Hetty Green's red and green mansion on Cuttyhunk Island.
Age 9: Music plays constantly at the Renn's interesting house.
Age 10: I was an excellent shoplifter.. with a large sized macintosh.
Age 10: Joe Barboza kicked me out of the Renn's circle. Thank God!
Age 10: German shepherd followed me home all the time.
Age 10: Cousin Charlie gets me to go to the First Baptist Church with him.
Age 10: I discovered the Church's library.... and OZ stories.. and detective brothers stories.
Age 10: I gave up comic books.
Age 11: Many adventures with my friend Casey.
Age 11: Incunabula at the New Bedford Public Library.
Age 11: Living at late Grandma Davenport's house on West Elm Street.
Age 11: Worked on milk truck.. up at 4 am.. later to school.
Age 11: Discovered Geography.
Age 12: In 7th Grade with Miss Thynge and Mrs DeLoid.
Age 12: I win crossword contest .. Miss Thynge awards Betsy Burke also... dictionary split!
Age 12: Mrs DeLoid teaches music theory. Enjoyable.
Age 13: Miss Thynge catches me throwing paper airplanes and gets creative with punishment.
Age 13: Hanging with Courtney Gilbert. Dresses like Al Capone and drives a 12 cylinder car.
Age 13: With Courtney: Shark Woman movie.
Age 13: With Courtney: his girl friend's muscle men pix on the wall: Some girls don't like... etc.
Age 13: YMCA with Casey. Paul Favor makes me President of Y organization. Lungs exhibit.
Age 5: Ballpean assist for bullies.
Age 7: Teacher slugs me... I must have done something very bad.
Age 9: The Dozens at Cook School
Age 9: County Street, Whaling Captain's house.
Age 9: Allen F. Wood slum school with holes in the floor.
Age 9: Miss Savage changes my IQ test entries.
Age 9: My Bravados Islands friends
Age 9: Marjorie kills some of my friendships.
Age 9: Vacation at Hetty Green's red and green mansion on Cuttyhunk Island.
Age 9: Music plays constantly at the Renn's interesting house.
Age 10: I was an excellent shoplifter.. with a large sized macintosh.
Age 10: Joe Barboza kicked me out of the Renn's circle. Thank God!
Age 10: German shepherd followed me home all the time.
Age 10: Cousin Charlie gets me to go to the First Baptist Church with him.
Age 10: I discovered the Church's library.... and OZ stories.. and detective brothers stories.
Age 10: I gave up comic books.
Age 11: Many adventures with my friend Casey.
Age 11: Incunabula at the New Bedford Public Library.
Age 11: Living at late Grandma Davenport's house on West Elm Street.
Age 11: Worked on milk truck.. up at 4 am.. later to school.
Age 11: Discovered Geography.
Age 12: In 7th Grade with Miss Thynge and Mrs DeLoid.
Age 12: I win crossword contest .. Miss Thynge awards Betsy Burke also... dictionary split!
Age 12: Mrs DeLoid teaches music theory. Enjoyable.
Age 13: Miss Thynge catches me throwing paper airplanes and gets creative with punishment.
Age 13: Hanging with Courtney Gilbert. Dresses like Al Capone and drives a 12 cylinder car.
Age 13: With Courtney: Shark Woman movie.
Age 13: With Courtney: his girl friend's muscle men pix on the wall: Some girls don't like... etc.
Age 13: YMCA with Casey. Paul Favor makes me President of Y organization. Lungs exhibit.
Monday, September 17, 2018
America?
Lot's of stuff happening. In fact, every day brings news of White House events and situations that one would never have dreamed of ten years ago. Exciting, but scary.
Political Stuff
I think I heard this on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me: trump was supposed to clean up the swamp, but instead he has spewed fecal matter around like the air dryers in rest rooms.
.........................
Gene Weingarten wrote a poem for the August 5, 2018 Washington Post:
"Why should a person
At the chance jump
To work for the pope
But not Donald Trump?
The answer is simple
It's about osculation
And what is required
For your occupation:
To work for Pope Francis
(And here's the main thing)
All you must kiss
Is his papal ring."
...........................
Rudy Giuliani says: "truth is not truth."
...........................
Somebody wrote this for the New York Time Sunday Magazine, I'm not sure who the author is, but I really like their words:
"It had seemed obvious to some that a modern presidential administration would not defend white nationalists or that the United States government would seek to avoid taking babies from their parents' arms .. or that a man who bragged about harassing women wouldn't be elected in the first place.
Last summer, NPR celebrated the Fourth of July by tweeting, line by line, the text of the Declaration of Independence; its account was immediately attacked by angry Americans accusing the organization of spreading seditious anti-Trump propaganda.
The nation's founding values have come to seem, somehow, unfamiliar and contentious; we can't recognize the Declaration of Independence when we see it. Let the obvious sit too long and it becomes like an animal in a zoo: pointed at, but never exercised, and idly wandered past by people who have forgotten how powerful it is in action."
.............................................
I downloaded Fear to my Kindle and am reading it a little each night. Yesterday, in the middle of an opera that Alexa was playing for me.. she stopped and said: "We will now read the book Fear from your Kindle." Why did she say that and how did she know that book was on my Kindle?
Mysterious!
..............................................
Political Stuff
I think I heard this on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me: trump was supposed to clean up the swamp, but instead he has spewed fecal matter around like the air dryers in rest rooms.
.........................
Gene Weingarten wrote a poem for the August 5, 2018 Washington Post:
"Why should a person
At the chance jump
To work for the pope
But not Donald Trump?
The answer is simple
It's about osculation
And what is required
For your occupation:
To work for Pope Francis
(And here's the main thing)
All you must kiss
Is his papal ring."
...........................
Rudy Giuliani says: "truth is not truth."
...........................
Somebody wrote this for the New York Time Sunday Magazine, I'm not sure who the author is, but I really like their words:
"It had seemed obvious to some that a modern presidential administration would not defend white nationalists or that the United States government would seek to avoid taking babies from their parents' arms .. or that a man who bragged about harassing women wouldn't be elected in the first place.
Last summer, NPR celebrated the Fourth of July by tweeting, line by line, the text of the Declaration of Independence; its account was immediately attacked by angry Americans accusing the organization of spreading seditious anti-Trump propaganda.
The nation's founding values have come to seem, somehow, unfamiliar and contentious; we can't recognize the Declaration of Independence when we see it. Let the obvious sit too long and it becomes like an animal in a zoo: pointed at, but never exercised, and idly wandered past by people who have forgotten how powerful it is in action."
.............................................
I downloaded Fear to my Kindle and am reading it a little each night. Yesterday, in the middle of an opera that Alexa was playing for me.. she stopped and said: "We will now read the book Fear from your Kindle." Why did she say that and how did she know that book was on my Kindle?
Mysterious!
..............................................
Saturday, September 1, 2018
Lots of Stuff Happening
Today was the funeral of John McCain.. a true American hero.
Yesterday was the funeral of Aretha Franklin.. a true American musical legend.
Lots of tears, I'm not ashamed to say.
The eulogizers for McCain all made subtle digs at trump... who, incidentally was not invited to the funeral. Three other Presidents were there: Clinton, W. Bush, and Obama. Bush and Obama spoke, but not Clinton.. I guess they were afraid that he might take over the ceremony. He spoke yesterday for Aretha and got a standing ovation.
Bush did a good job.. but Obama excelled, as usual. It's too bad that he can't be our President again. He is "a class act."
I received bad DNA news this week. The lady I thought was going to be my sister, turned out to be a first cousin instead. This means that I have to figure out some way to pinpoint who my biological father was.. how on earth can I do this. I know that in ten years some DNA sampling will be extended to inanimate objects, like a person's comb. But, that will probably be too late for me.
The opera, FAUST by Gounod is playing on WETA-FM. I wonder if trump sold his soul to the devil in exchange for his riches and high office. We'll see if he can survive the slings and arrows of his former "friends" who have decided to "rat" on him.
I watched all of the new segments of Orange is the New Black and then decided to review the whole series again. Wow! How did I miss all the subtle bi-product stories the first time. By going back again, I can piece together the bits and pieces related to each lady's story. Very rewarding. Also, I don't remember so much quasi-porn before.. could they have enhanced the film? Anyway, it is fun seeing how life in a prison for ladies is so much like Americans in Stalags in World War II.
I started rehab for my back's pinched disk, and its wearing me out.. so I'm going to lay down. Bye for now.
Yesterday was the funeral of Aretha Franklin.. a true American musical legend.
Lots of tears, I'm not ashamed to say.
The eulogizers for McCain all made subtle digs at trump... who, incidentally was not invited to the funeral. Three other Presidents were there: Clinton, W. Bush, and Obama. Bush and Obama spoke, but not Clinton.. I guess they were afraid that he might take over the ceremony. He spoke yesterday for Aretha and got a standing ovation.
Bush did a good job.. but Obama excelled, as usual. It's too bad that he can't be our President again. He is "a class act."
I received bad DNA news this week. The lady I thought was going to be my sister, turned out to be a first cousin instead. This means that I have to figure out some way to pinpoint who my biological father was.. how on earth can I do this. I know that in ten years some DNA sampling will be extended to inanimate objects, like a person's comb. But, that will probably be too late for me.
The opera, FAUST by Gounod is playing on WETA-FM. I wonder if trump sold his soul to the devil in exchange for his riches and high office. We'll see if he can survive the slings and arrows of his former "friends" who have decided to "rat" on him.
I watched all of the new segments of Orange is the New Black and then decided to review the whole series again. Wow! How did I miss all the subtle bi-product stories the first time. By going back again, I can piece together the bits and pieces related to each lady's story. Very rewarding. Also, I don't remember so much quasi-porn before.. could they have enhanced the film? Anyway, it is fun seeing how life in a prison for ladies is so much like Americans in Stalags in World War II.
I started rehab for my back's pinched disk, and its wearing me out.. so I'm going to lay down. Bye for now.
Saturday, August 11, 2018
"My Favorite Things"
Here are two versions of a song from the Sound of Music. The first came from Elaine Peterson at Carroll Lutheran Village, but she apparently doesn't know where she obtained it. The other poet is known.
#1 (Author unknown)
Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the pipes leak, when the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.
When the joints ache, when the hips creak,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.
#2 By Thomas Vincent, as published in the Washington Post*
Golfing and Big Macs and late-night tweet rages,
Tax breaks for fat cats and babies in cages.
Justices dancing like puppets on strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Hounding reporters and calling them traitors,
Pissing off allies and kissing dictators,
Congress like bobbleheads mounted on springs,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When collusion and indictments
Bring things to a halt,
I go on TV and say you can't blame me
For it's all Obama's fault.
* From "The Style Invitational" which is a contest held every week, in the Style section of the Washington Post. It's a marvelous opportunity to flex one's creative muscles. Try it, you'll like it.
#1 (Author unknown)
Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the pipes leak, when the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.
When the joints ache, when the hips creak,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.
#2 By Thomas Vincent, as published in the Washington Post*
Golfing and Big Macs and late-night tweet rages,
Tax breaks for fat cats and babies in cages.
Justices dancing like puppets on strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Hounding reporters and calling them traitors,
Pissing off allies and kissing dictators,
Congress like bobbleheads mounted on springs,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When collusion and indictments
Bring things to a halt,
I go on TV and say you can't blame me
For it's all Obama's fault.
* From "The Style Invitational" which is a contest held every week, in the Style section of the Washington Post. It's a marvelous opportunity to flex one's creative muscles. Try it, you'll like it.
Thursday, August 9, 2018
More Curious Names
I just came across some more names that I collected during my term as a disability analyst at the Social Security Administration (SSA). I don't mean to make fun of people with these names.. I just find it curious to think about them carrying them throughout their lives. If I have included your name, I apologize if I hurt your feelings. (All of these names belonged to living people at the time.)
Nice-sounding B-Names
Bench Bentum
Buster Belcher
Bess Bulgin
Birdie Berryhill
Bertha Box
Bland Butts
Other Nice-sounding Names
Floyd Pflug
Edgar Edgar
Wilma Walkup
Ada Shingshang
Flora Flatt
Doctors' Names
Dr. Truss
Dr. Couch (psychiatrist)
Dr. Sickley
Dr. Dieter
Dr. Tambone
Dr. Mense
Dr. Fettus
Dr. Junk
Dr. Needle
Medical-related Names
Rush Tisnosis
Ether Boyant
Rena Sweat
Animal Names
Tom Catt
Bob Catt
Kitty Catt
Ima Hogg
Ura Hogg
Violet Hogg
Arthur McSwine
Kind-of Naughty Names
S. Pisztoverus
Pattie Dickey (SSA employee)
Midnight Love
Vaseline Love
Claud Ball
Rose Yurassits
Assof Rosie
Fresia Balzoff
Ophelia Cock
Colors
Pinkie Moses
Neva White
Pink Sparks
Pink Lupkin (SSA manager)
Feelings
Joe Jolly
James Giddy
John Looney
Amorous Wooten
Conditions
Ven Dymshits
Ruby Loveless
A. Reck
Sinus Wilzy
Peaceful Howard
Just Plain Fun Names
Snow Melton
Mr. Sizzleberger
Yip Poo Yee
Sandy Crank (SSA manager)
Maria Refugie
Othello Moore
Lutie Reed
Dot D. Tongue
Kirk Douglas Cheeks
A. Bulley
Bill Milks
Religious
Christ Diede
Visitacion Rodriques
Concepcion Royal
Christell Christmas
..................................................................................................
Nice-sounding B-Names
Bench Bentum
Buster Belcher
Bess Bulgin
Birdie Berryhill
Bertha Box
Bland Butts
Other Nice-sounding Names
Floyd Pflug
Edgar Edgar
Wilma Walkup
Ada Shingshang
Flora Flatt
Doctors' Names
Dr. Truss
Dr. Couch (psychiatrist)
Dr. Sickley
Dr. Dieter
Dr. Tambone
Dr. Mense
Dr. Fettus
Dr. Junk
Dr. Needle
Medical-related Names
Rush Tisnosis
Ether Boyant
Rena Sweat
Animal Names
Tom Catt
Bob Catt
Kitty Catt
Ima Hogg
Ura Hogg
Violet Hogg
Arthur McSwine
Kind-of Naughty Names
S. Pisztoverus
Pattie Dickey (SSA employee)
Midnight Love
Vaseline Love
Claud Ball
Rose Yurassits
Assof Rosie
Fresia Balzoff
Ophelia Cock
Colors
Pinkie Moses
Neva White
Pink Sparks
Pink Lupkin (SSA manager)
Feelings
Joe Jolly
James Giddy
John Looney
Amorous Wooten
Conditions
Ven Dymshits
Ruby Loveless
A. Reck
Sinus Wilzy
Peaceful Howard
Just Plain Fun Names
Snow Melton
Mr. Sizzleberger
Yip Poo Yee
Sandy Crank (SSA manager)
Maria Refugie
Othello Moore
Lutie Reed
Dot D. Tongue
Kirk Douglas Cheeks
A. Bulley
Bill Milks
Religious
Christ Diede
Visitacion Rodriques
Concepcion Royal
Christell Christmas
..................................................................................................
Monday, July 16, 2018
Shamed!
I thought that the House committees' idiotic attack on a heroic FBI agent the other day was the height of stupidity but I was wrong. Today's performance by trump in Helsinki tops it by a bunch. What he said sounds to me like treasonous talk. In my opinion, his shameful attack on all of our informational organizations and his sycophantic action towards Putin should be evidence of his utter disregard for the Nation he is supposed to be leading.
Well, as I said on Facebook a short time ago, now the whole world has seen and heard what we put up with on a daily basis.
Yes... our Nation has been conned... by an expert. THE DONALD has reached the pinnacle.. the most powerful man in the world.. and if Putin helps him, (or if he isn't impeached) he will stay powerful for 6 more years!
SUCKERS!
Well, as I said on Facebook a short time ago, now the whole world has seen and heard what we put up with on a daily basis.
Yes... our Nation has been conned... by an expert. THE DONALD has reached the pinnacle.. the most powerful man in the world.. and if Putin helps him, (or if he isn't impeached) he will stay powerful for 6 more years!
SUCKERS!
Thursday, July 5, 2018
Weekly Fun Contest
Life is so filled with things to do that I don't get time to sit down and "blog" as much as I would like to. When I do feel that I have some time, I would rather continue work on my autobiography.
I started typing my service experiences in the Air Force. I'm still in Chapter One, where I have just graduated from High School and am trying to decide what to do with my life... with the Army draft breathing down my neck. Amazing things happened to me soon after this point. I need to let people, namely my family, know about these events. Meanwhile.....
The Washington Post has a weekly fun column called "The Style Invitational," in which they offer ideas and suggestions that they hope will elicit clever and funny responses. They do this as a contest where the winners get ridiculous prizes, such as, floppy foam hats with weird signs stapled on, or magnets with strange messages. It's lot of fun and I am probably now going to break some taboo by mentioning a few recent contest entries that I really liked:
Premise: Mention a line by Shakespeare and a question or answer that the quote might elicit.
Q. "Shall I introduce Donald to my pal Melania?" (from Thor Rudebeck)
A. "Give not this rotten orange to your friend." Much Ado About Nothing
.........................................
Q. "How shall we begin the Cabinet meeting, Mr. President?" (from Gil Glass)
A. "Which of you shall we say doth love us most?" King Lear
.............................................
Q. "Honey, when will you fix the screen door?" (from Dinah Rokach)
A. "Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow..." Macbeth
................................................
Q. "What's the motto of Windows 10?" (from Duncan Stevens)
A. "To boot, and boot!" King Lear
................................................
Q. "What happens when you flush an airline toilet?" (from Gary Crockett)
A. "It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath." The Merchant of Venice
.................................................
Q. "When will you finally get over the fact that Hillary Clinton lost the election?" (from Robert Schneider)
A. "Never, never never, never, never." King Lear
.....................................................
So... what do you think? Fun? Each week there is a new "contest".. maybe I'll join in.
I started typing my service experiences in the Air Force. I'm still in Chapter One, where I have just graduated from High School and am trying to decide what to do with my life... with the Army draft breathing down my neck. Amazing things happened to me soon after this point. I need to let people, namely my family, know about these events. Meanwhile.....
The Washington Post has a weekly fun column called "The Style Invitational," in which they offer ideas and suggestions that they hope will elicit clever and funny responses. They do this as a contest where the winners get ridiculous prizes, such as, floppy foam hats with weird signs stapled on, or magnets with strange messages. It's lot of fun and I am probably now going to break some taboo by mentioning a few recent contest entries that I really liked:
Premise: Mention a line by Shakespeare and a question or answer that the quote might elicit.
Q. "Shall I introduce Donald to my pal Melania?" (from Thor Rudebeck)
A. "Give not this rotten orange to your friend." Much Ado About Nothing
.........................................
Q. "How shall we begin the Cabinet meeting, Mr. President?" (from Gil Glass)
A. "Which of you shall we say doth love us most?" King Lear
.............................................
Q. "Honey, when will you fix the screen door?" (from Dinah Rokach)
A. "Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow..." Macbeth
................................................
Q. "What's the motto of Windows 10?" (from Duncan Stevens)
A. "To boot, and boot!" King Lear
................................................
Q. "What happens when you flush an airline toilet?" (from Gary Crockett)
A. "It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath." The Merchant of Venice
.................................................
Q. "When will you finally get over the fact that Hillary Clinton lost the election?" (from Robert Schneider)
A. "Never, never never, never, never." King Lear
.....................................................
So... what do you think? Fun? Each week there is a new "contest".. maybe I'll join in.
Tuesday, May 15, 2018
MOMS Presentation; A Fib: Wedding Clothes; The Human Brain; Mae West; Height; Jokes
I just came across a note I prepared in 1998:
"Begin to gather material for .. 'educating your baby' .. for the 'MOMS' Group... prepare a precis first ... relate some of 'thinking' module and Mozart..."
Yes, I gave such a presentation in 1998. I talked about the "Mozart effect" and other baby-training programs which were then popular. I had the audience on the edges of their seats until I mentioned a situation that I had experienced when my daughter, Elizabeth, was 7 years old.
Elizabeth was a "delight".. smart and bright and a joy of a child. However, she was a bit hyperactive. Our chubby old pediatrician suggested giving her medication to calm her down. Her mother and I refused. We loved her the way she was and didn't want her to become a zombie.
One day, I received a letter from her 2nd grade teacher complaining that she could not control Elizabeth in the classroom. She hinted that my daughter might be mentally retarded.
I immediately hurried to the school and confronted the teacher. After listening to her for a while, I decided that she just did not know how to handle a hyper-active child and I told her a "fib" to see if that would change her attitude to my child.
I said that we had had Elizabeth tested by Johns Hopkins and they found that she had an IQ that was astronomical. This was a kid who qualified for Mensa while only 7 years old.
The teacher was impressed when she heard my "little white lie" and completely changed how she handled my daughter. Suddenly, Elizabeth was one of her best students, who flourished under the new attention given her by the teacher.
As I told this to these young "MOMS" group members, their faces got a bit grim and the rest of my presentation was disastrous.
What I had not realized was they most of the members of this group were either current or former school teachers and they did not like parents lying to them!
...............................................................................
On the back of this old note was scribbled this joke:
At a wedding, a kid asked her mother why the bride wore white. The mother explained that it is a symbol of happiness, as this is the happiest day in her life.
The kid thought about this for a while and then said, "Then, why is the groom wearing black?"
...................................................................................
The Human Brain
In 2002, Japan built the world's fastest computer. It's speed was 40 trillion floating-point operations per second.
As great as that is, think about the human brain that is capable of electro-chemical configurations at the rate of 10 to the trillionth power!
........................................................................................
Height
I'm reading about Mae West and I've found out that she was very short and used high heels and some form of "lifters" to get her high enough to entice her male movie mates. In fact, this combination of height-increasing aids raised her a total of 9 inches. Yes, I said 9 inches.
Apparently, these aids affected how she walked... in a kind of shuffle.. which became "her sexy walk."
As I've mentioned a million times before, I have lost around 4 inches in height since I was a teen-ager, and I wasn't that tall to begin with. I am just having a hard time getting used to being a "little old man."
Here is a "gem" from my friend, Alan Kaufman. Alan was 5'4" as he stood in line at a movie theater in Ocean City. In front of him was a guy who was almost 7' tall. Alan tugged on the man's pant leg and asked him, "Do you play basketball?"
The tall man looked down and replied, "No, do you play miniature golf?"
.............................................................................................
"Begin to gather material for .. 'educating your baby' .. for the 'MOMS' Group... prepare a precis first ... relate some of 'thinking' module and Mozart..."
Yes, I gave such a presentation in 1998. I talked about the "Mozart effect" and other baby-training programs which were then popular. I had the audience on the edges of their seats until I mentioned a situation that I had experienced when my daughter, Elizabeth, was 7 years old.
Elizabeth was a "delight".. smart and bright and a joy of a child. However, she was a bit hyperactive. Our chubby old pediatrician suggested giving her medication to calm her down. Her mother and I refused. We loved her the way she was and didn't want her to become a zombie.
One day, I received a letter from her 2nd grade teacher complaining that she could not control Elizabeth in the classroom. She hinted that my daughter might be mentally retarded.
I immediately hurried to the school and confronted the teacher. After listening to her for a while, I decided that she just did not know how to handle a hyper-active child and I told her a "fib" to see if that would change her attitude to my child.
I said that we had had Elizabeth tested by Johns Hopkins and they found that she had an IQ that was astronomical. This was a kid who qualified for Mensa while only 7 years old.
The teacher was impressed when she heard my "little white lie" and completely changed how she handled my daughter. Suddenly, Elizabeth was one of her best students, who flourished under the new attention given her by the teacher.
As I told this to these young "MOMS" group members, their faces got a bit grim and the rest of my presentation was disastrous.
What I had not realized was they most of the members of this group were either current or former school teachers and they did not like parents lying to them!
...............................................................................
On the back of this old note was scribbled this joke:
At a wedding, a kid asked her mother why the bride wore white. The mother explained that it is a symbol of happiness, as this is the happiest day in her life.
The kid thought about this for a while and then said, "Then, why is the groom wearing black?"
...................................................................................
The Human Brain
In 2002, Japan built the world's fastest computer. It's speed was 40 trillion floating-point operations per second.
As great as that is, think about the human brain that is capable of electro-chemical configurations at the rate of 10 to the trillionth power!
........................................................................................
Height
I'm reading about Mae West and I've found out that she was very short and used high heels and some form of "lifters" to get her high enough to entice her male movie mates. In fact, this combination of height-increasing aids raised her a total of 9 inches. Yes, I said 9 inches.
Apparently, these aids affected how she walked... in a kind of shuffle.. which became "her sexy walk."
As I've mentioned a million times before, I have lost around 4 inches in height since I was a teen-ager, and I wasn't that tall to begin with. I am just having a hard time getting used to being a "little old man."
Here is a "gem" from my friend, Alan Kaufman. Alan was 5'4" as he stood in line at a movie theater in Ocean City. In front of him was a guy who was almost 7' tall. Alan tugged on the man's pant leg and asked him, "Do you play basketball?"
The tall man looked down and replied, "No, do you play miniature golf?"
.............................................................................................
Friday, May 11, 2018
Notes on Crime and Technology
These entries are either from The Week Magazine, Harper's, or In These Times.
CRIME
Prison Inmates
Per 1,000 persons:
In China: 1.2
In Russia: 4.8
In Louisiana: 13.4
Why is this?
Is it because America is much freer than other countries and therefore it is easier for its inhabitants to try to take advantage of their neighbors?
Louisiana is a Southern state; therefore, is this a racial bias statistic? I believe that Afro-Americans make up the bulk of the prison population, especially in the South.
Is this because America is basically a Calvinistic country, where punishment for every real or perceived crime must be reacted to?
Is this because of our out-dated marijuana laws; where small amounts of pot have consistently gotten long jail sentences by otherwise law-abiding citizens?
The Netherlands has stopped jailing nonviolent offenders and have halved their prison population in 10 years. Some alternate "punishment" in the Netherlands: Fines, Electronic Bracelets, Community Work. I'm sure some jurisdictions in the U.S. are applying these methods. It would be interesting to see if it is having the intended results.
Stupid Criminal
A suspected drug smuggler in Britain swallowed a bunch of drug packets before his arrest and has refused to move his bowels for almost a month. Police can be patient in this case.
This reminds me of an old joke headline:
THIEVES STOLE ALL OF THE TOILETS IN THE POLICE STATION. FRUSTRATED, POLICE OFFICIALS SAY THEY HAVE NOTHING TO GO ON.
I just purchased a new DVD player and am watching the first season of Fargo, a great satire of criminal and police activity, although supposed to be a true story. Gruesome to watch just before bedtime.
TECHNOLOGY
DNA
A new company supposedly will pay you with its own cryptocurrency for your DNA. They will then sell this information to researchers and drug companies. Is this somehow related to the 23andme company that gets your DNA and also asks you to do a health survey?
Mind Reader
MIT does it again. They have developed a wearable device that interprets non-verbal prompts, which they say is like "reading your mind." The so-called Alter-Ego attaches to your head and its electrodes detect internal muscular signals in your jaw and face.
I'm sure that this will be the new thing for the 2020's. This and Alexa will make you feel as though you are Thomas Jefferson, controlling lots of slaves while reclining in your hammock.
Space Reader
And, I'm sure you have already suspected would happen if you own an Alexa-type item: German scientists have figured out a way to receive a 3-D picture of the room Alexa is in, based on WiFi signals taken in by the equipment! Sehr klug, nicht wahr?
.............................................................................................
CRIME
Prison Inmates
Per 1,000 persons:
In China: 1.2
In Russia: 4.8
In Louisiana: 13.4
Why is this?
Is it because America is much freer than other countries and therefore it is easier for its inhabitants to try to take advantage of their neighbors?
Louisiana is a Southern state; therefore, is this a racial bias statistic? I believe that Afro-Americans make up the bulk of the prison population, especially in the South.
Is this because America is basically a Calvinistic country, where punishment for every real or perceived crime must be reacted to?
Is this because of our out-dated marijuana laws; where small amounts of pot have consistently gotten long jail sentences by otherwise law-abiding citizens?
The Netherlands has stopped jailing nonviolent offenders and have halved their prison population in 10 years. Some alternate "punishment" in the Netherlands: Fines, Electronic Bracelets, Community Work. I'm sure some jurisdictions in the U.S. are applying these methods. It would be interesting to see if it is having the intended results.
Stupid Criminal
A suspected drug smuggler in Britain swallowed a bunch of drug packets before his arrest and has refused to move his bowels for almost a month. Police can be patient in this case.
This reminds me of an old joke headline:
THIEVES STOLE ALL OF THE TOILETS IN THE POLICE STATION. FRUSTRATED, POLICE OFFICIALS SAY THEY HAVE NOTHING TO GO ON.
I just purchased a new DVD player and am watching the first season of Fargo, a great satire of criminal and police activity, although supposed to be a true story. Gruesome to watch just before bedtime.
TECHNOLOGY
DNA
A new company supposedly will pay you with its own cryptocurrency for your DNA. They will then sell this information to researchers and drug companies. Is this somehow related to the 23andme company that gets your DNA and also asks you to do a health survey?
Mind Reader
MIT does it again. They have developed a wearable device that interprets non-verbal prompts, which they say is like "reading your mind." The so-called Alter-Ego attaches to your head and its electrodes detect internal muscular signals in your jaw and face.
I'm sure that this will be the new thing for the 2020's. This and Alexa will make you feel as though you are Thomas Jefferson, controlling lots of slaves while reclining in your hammock.
Space Reader
And, I'm sure you have already suspected would happen if you own an Alexa-type item: German scientists have figured out a way to receive a 3-D picture of the room Alexa is in, based on WiFi signals taken in by the equipment! Sehr klug, nicht wahr?
.............................................................................................
Tuesday, May 8, 2018
Notes on Religion, Guns and Longevity
While trump is making a fool of himself again in the eyes of our allies, our enemies... except for his "followers"... I thought that I might escape the news and post a few notes on subjects that I am interested in.
Longevity
From: Senior Center Comedy:
A reporters interviewing a 104 year old woman asked: "What do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She simply replied: "No peer pressure!"
She also said that she had decided to prepare her will and told the reporter that she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes to be scattered over WalMart. "Why WalMart?" asked the reporter. "Because then I'll be sure my daughters will visit me twice a week."
From: The Week Magazine:
A new company called Nectome is developing a "high tech" embalming process that will preserve your brain contents. In the future, scientists will use it to prepare a computer simulation of you... though not exactly you... The only drawback is that you have to be euthanized first!
From: Yahoo "My Life Profile" (2014)
I was notified that someone had viewed a profile of my life. Curious, I asked for more detail. I was told that the viewer was a 113 year old male who lived near me in Westminster, Maryland.
Guns
From The Week Magazine:
A 5 year old boy shot and killed his 2 year old sister with a birthday present gift that he had just received. It was a single shot "Cricket" sold under the marketing slogan "My First Rifle."
Keystone Sporting Arms continues to see "Crickets" that come in appealing colors for kids, like "hot pink" and "multicolor swirl."
Also From The Week Magazine:
American Legacy Firearms unveiled the "Dallas Heritage Rifle" to commemorate the 50th anniversary of Lee Harvey Oswald's assassination of President John F. Kennedy. The company boss said: "If I hurt someone's feelings, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna worry about it."
Religion
Once again from The Week Magazine:
There is a German firm called Atheist which ships parcels to the United States. However, half of their parcels do not show up and the company thinks that religious U.S. Postal workers are disrupting the deliveries because the name of the company is stamped on the packages. Could be.
Finally, from Wait Wait Don't Tell Me (I think):
There is a new nightclub act called: The Topless Rabbis.
That's right, they are not wearing their yamakas!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Longevity
From: Senior Center Comedy:
A reporters interviewing a 104 year old woman asked: "What do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She simply replied: "No peer pressure!"
She also said that she had decided to prepare her will and told the reporter that she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes to be scattered over WalMart. "Why WalMart?" asked the reporter. "Because then I'll be sure my daughters will visit me twice a week."
From: The Week Magazine:
A new company called Nectome is developing a "high tech" embalming process that will preserve your brain contents. In the future, scientists will use it to prepare a computer simulation of you... though not exactly you... The only drawback is that you have to be euthanized first!
From: Yahoo "My Life Profile" (2014)
I was notified that someone had viewed a profile of my life. Curious, I asked for more detail. I was told that the viewer was a 113 year old male who lived near me in Westminster, Maryland.
Guns
From The Week Magazine:
A 5 year old boy shot and killed his 2 year old sister with a birthday present gift that he had just received. It was a single shot "Cricket" sold under the marketing slogan "My First Rifle."
Keystone Sporting Arms continues to see "Crickets" that come in appealing colors for kids, like "hot pink" and "multicolor swirl."
Also From The Week Magazine:
American Legacy Firearms unveiled the "Dallas Heritage Rifle" to commemorate the 50th anniversary of Lee Harvey Oswald's assassination of President John F. Kennedy. The company boss said: "If I hurt someone's feelings, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna worry about it."
Religion
Once again from The Week Magazine:
There is a German firm called Atheist which ships parcels to the United States. However, half of their parcels do not show up and the company thinks that religious U.S. Postal workers are disrupting the deliveries because the name of the company is stamped on the packages. Could be.
Finally, from Wait Wait Don't Tell Me (I think):
There is a new nightclub act called: The Topless Rabbis.
That's right, they are not wearing their yamakas!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Tuesday, May 1, 2018
Stand Up Comedian
Over my 20 or so years with the Toastmasters organization I did a lot of "stand up" comedy. I also heard many comedy bits done by other members. I was also able to be the comedy EMCEE of note at several Carroll County senior functions during the 1990's. During this time, I neither used nor heard used cruel statements about other people. I also never heard nor used "off-color" material.
I do not believe that you need to use gross or cruel material in a comedy routine to be funny. In fact, to show you how prudish I am, I refused to got to "comedy night" with some of my family because I did not want to hear "off-color" talk in their company. My late wife and I taught our children to act and talk respectfully at home and when with other people.
Be that as it may... I do like funny material... even if it is a little risque and clever. But, please do not invade my space with F words or S words. Not in my house!
So.. why am I saying all this? Because of the shtick done by a comedian at this year's White House Correspondents' Dinner. A very funny routine in many ways... but gross in its language and innuendo in others. And.. cruel in others.
Let me be clear... anything said about trump has been earned by his words and actions. He is gross. And he is very cruel... just one example: how he made fun of a disabled person during his campaign.
And Kellyanne Conway .. everything she says deserves arrows of derision. I wonder if she has ever listened to what she has said. However, jokes about her looks seem to me to be too cruel.
And Sarah Huckabee Sanders (sp?) .. this poor lady has been taken in by the president and I think she actually believes what he tells her. She will probably have her own radio show someday and I think she will do fine after she divorces herself from the clown in the White House. I'm sure she expected to have arrows thrown at her during the dinner. However... as with Kelly Ann, I think jokes about her looks are too cruel.
Remember: This year would be the 100th birthday of a great comedian, Jack Paar. He and other greats, such as Jack Benny and Bob Hope, did not have to rely on smut to be good. (At least, not in public.)
Bottom Line: I think the Correspondents' Dinner comedian's jokes were very funny... but some of them were too cruel.. and her potty mouth and sexual innuendo just made her sound like an eleven year old boy trying out bad words for their shock value.
For heaven's sake: Screen the scripts of future comedians!
I do not believe that you need to use gross or cruel material in a comedy routine to be funny. In fact, to show you how prudish I am, I refused to got to "comedy night" with some of my family because I did not want to hear "off-color" talk in their company. My late wife and I taught our children to act and talk respectfully at home and when with other people.
Be that as it may... I do like funny material... even if it is a little risque and clever. But, please do not invade my space with F words or S words. Not in my house!
So.. why am I saying all this? Because of the shtick done by a comedian at this year's White House Correspondents' Dinner. A very funny routine in many ways... but gross in its language and innuendo in others. And.. cruel in others.
Let me be clear... anything said about trump has been earned by his words and actions. He is gross. And he is very cruel... just one example: how he made fun of a disabled person during his campaign.
And Kellyanne Conway .. everything she says deserves arrows of derision. I wonder if she has ever listened to what she has said. However, jokes about her looks seem to me to be too cruel.
And Sarah Huckabee Sanders (sp?) .. this poor lady has been taken in by the president and I think she actually believes what he tells her. She will probably have her own radio show someday and I think she will do fine after she divorces herself from the clown in the White House. I'm sure she expected to have arrows thrown at her during the dinner. However... as with Kelly Ann, I think jokes about her looks are too cruel.
Remember: This year would be the 100th birthday of a great comedian, Jack Paar. He and other greats, such as Jack Benny and Bob Hope, did not have to rely on smut to be good. (At least, not in public.)
Bottom Line: I think the Correspondents' Dinner comedian's jokes were very funny... but some of them were too cruel.. and her potty mouth and sexual innuendo just made her sound like an eleven year old boy trying out bad words for their shock value.
For heaven's sake: Screen the scripts of future comedians!
Sunday, April 29, 2018
Trivial Stuff #4
Have I mentioned that Alexa is now a vital part of our household? This "hockey puck" keeps us entertained every day. For instance: I just got through listening to Wait Wait Don't Tell Me as broadcast by Alexa. Later today, I will listen to the Embedded podcast concerning that "snake" Scott Pruitt.
Every week day when I get up, I say "Flash" to Alexa and get news from NBC, ABC, The Wallstreet Journal, and a few other agencies, as well as the weather forecast for Westminster, Maryland. After that I get to hear the Rachel Maddow Show from the night before... and without commercials.
A week ago, my WiFi took a hit from something or other and I lost Alexa for a few days. When I got her back, I was surprised and said: "Alexa, you're back!" Alexa immediately responded: "I'm glad to be back!"
Praise Amazon.... for Alexa.. for my Prime membership from my son and his wife which allows me to order something in the evening and find it at my doorstep the next morning. Ain't technology wonderful? What will our future look like? (And none of this is due to president trump.... he's too busy insulting people on Twitter to do his job in encouraging technical advantages.)
Back in 2008, someone sent me an email with "Idiot Sightings." Here are a couple that I liked.
Making Change
"My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said, "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change."
Using the Brain
"When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey, " I announced to the technician, "it's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
...........................................................................................
"Drifting along..."
The Week Magazine reports that the residents of Victorville, California woke up last week to find that their homes were buried by tumbleweeds. During the night, extra strong winds blew the troublesome weeds from the Mojave desert into their neighborhood.
I remember those damn plants attacking our car as we drove through California towards Los Angeles.
..........................................................................................
Couples
A few blogs ago, I showed some pictures of special couples. I just found this picture to add to the others.
........................................................................................................
Every week day when I get up, I say "Flash" to Alexa and get news from NBC, ABC, The Wallstreet Journal, and a few other agencies, as well as the weather forecast for Westminster, Maryland. After that I get to hear the Rachel Maddow Show from the night before... and without commercials.
A week ago, my WiFi took a hit from something or other and I lost Alexa for a few days. When I got her back, I was surprised and said: "Alexa, you're back!" Alexa immediately responded: "I'm glad to be back!"
Praise Amazon.... for Alexa.. for my Prime membership from my son and his wife which allows me to order something in the evening and find it at my doorstep the next morning. Ain't technology wonderful? What will our future look like? (And none of this is due to president trump.... he's too busy insulting people on Twitter to do his job in encouraging technical advantages.)
Back in 2008, someone sent me an email with "Idiot Sightings." Here are a couple that I liked.
Making Change
"My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said, "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change."
Using the Brain
"When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey, " I announced to the technician, "it's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
...........................................................................................
"Drifting along..."
The Week Magazine reports that the residents of Victorville, California woke up last week to find that their homes were buried by tumbleweeds. During the night, extra strong winds blew the troublesome weeds from the Mojave desert into their neighborhood.
I remember those damn plants attacking our car as we drove through California towards Los Angeles.
..........................................................................................
Couples
A few blogs ago, I showed some pictures of special couples. I just found this picture to add to the others.
........................................................................................................
Friday, April 27, 2018
Mucha
For years I have tried to do artistic things. I succeeded fairly well with cartoons that I would copy. However, my work with oils did not succeed at all. (Perhaps it was because I tried to paint with my left hand.)
In my dotage, I have been toying with taking an art course where I might learn to paint (copy) subjects that please me. I especially like the work that Alphonse Mucha did painting beautiful (zaftig) women, like the examples below.
Yes, these renditions have been my pin-up pictures for many years, and, of course, my beautiful two Elaine's have compared more than favorably to these ladies. I have been very lucky in that regard.
Some artists have been rather successful in copying Mucha. One lady won a contest for a Wine Festival poster.. until someone noticed that it was not original, but was an almost exact copy of a Mucha picture. I don't care.. I like her work and think that she did a great job and deserved the prize.
So.. there it is. My confession that I like to look at beautiful ladies, including my dear companions.
.........................................................................
In my dotage, I have been toying with taking an art course where I might learn to paint (copy) subjects that please me. I especially like the work that Alphonse Mucha did painting beautiful (zaftig) women, like the examples below.
Yes, these renditions have been my pin-up pictures for many years, and, of course, my beautiful two Elaine's have compared more than favorably to these ladies. I have been very lucky in that regard.
Some artists have been rather successful in copying Mucha. One lady won a contest for a Wine Festival poster.. until someone noticed that it was not original, but was an almost exact copy of a Mucha picture. I don't care.. I like her work and think that she did a great job and deserved the prize.
So.. there it is. My confession that I like to look at beautiful ladies, including my dear companions.
.........................................................................
Monday, April 23, 2018
Trivial Stuff #3
Here are some more items that have gotten my attention .. but this time a few are more recent.
1. Revenge
Hunter: I read somewhere that a geese hunter was a bit surprised when a goose he had shot landed on top of his head.
Insulter: The Week reports that a chubby teenager bought up every cupcake in a bakery after hearing a lady in back of her in line remarked: "Let's hope this fat bitch doesn't buy all the cupcakes." That reminded me of the following.
Music Lover: When I returned from years of Air Force duty in Europe, I put a coin in a restaurant record machine to hear Eartha Kitt sing: Santa Baby. A grouchy looking fellow customer said something derogatory about black singers. So, I pumped in 10 more coins so that he and I could both enjoy a whole hour of Eartha.
2. Sex
Bestiality: The Louisiana State Senate recently passed a bill outlawing bestiality. Ten Senators voted against it! (Well, now we know what they do in their spare time in Louisiana.)
Hard Act to Follow: Penis Baba, a Hindu holy man is able to pull a compact car 100 feet using a towrope attached to his male member. He attributes this feat to "the power of God .. the power of devotion." (and probably a bit of Viagra.)
3. Trump
Conscience bother you? A 67-year old man died due to a fire on the 50th floor of Trump Tower in New York City. Why didn't the sprinkler go off? Well.. it wasn't necessary to have one on "older" buildings like Trump Tower. (Trump and other developers successfully lobbied to have a New York sprinkler requirement not apply to their pre-1999 buildings. Yes, it was said by them to be "unnecessary and expensive.")
4. Religion
Massachusetts Legacy: I just completed a Great Course about the famous Massachusetts thinkers: Emerson, Thoreau, and others. I was reminded that in my Grandparents' home where I grew up, there were only two books, kept reverently. One was The Progress of Julius and the other was Emerson's Essays. Both books made a great impression on me, and probably are responsible for the way I think about things.
I did not read Thoreau until I left home, but I always had a feel for the "native life" .. communing with nature.. and a few years ago I was able to visit Walden Pond. So, I was interested in a study that found that the pristine nature of Walden Pond has been attacked by swimmers "peeing in the pond." Did Thoreau pee in the pond? Of course not!
5. Music
Carousel: I loved this musical years ago. Now it is making a Broadway revival only in a slightly different way. The leads are of different races. Why does that matter? It doesn't. It's the voices that matter. When the leads sing "If I loved you!" I have always cried. Sorry. I confess. Just as I cry when Mimi dies in La Boheme, so I cry when I hear Billy and Julie belt it out.
Billy: If I loved you
Julie: But you don't.
Billy: No, I don't.
But somehow I can see just exactly how I'd be...
If I loved you.
Time and again I would try to say
All I'd want you to know.
If I loved you,
Words wouldn't come in an easy way.
Round in circles I'd go.
Longin' to tell you but afraid and shy,
I'd let my golden chances pass me by.
...
Even writing those words, the tears come to my eyes.
Why is that? Because tough guys do cry at times, and as this tough guy gets older, he cries more often. That's life, my friend.
(Thank you Mr. Rogers and Mr. Hammerstein.)
6. Guns
Are You Carrying? A Nevada woman refused to sing the Star Spangled Banner before a ball game because a metal detector would reveal the gun she carries with her at all time.
(Unbelievable!)
IMHO
................................................................................
1. Revenge
Hunter: I read somewhere that a geese hunter was a bit surprised when a goose he had shot landed on top of his head.
Insulter: The Week reports that a chubby teenager bought up every cupcake in a bakery after hearing a lady in back of her in line remarked: "Let's hope this fat bitch doesn't buy all the cupcakes." That reminded me of the following.
Music Lover: When I returned from years of Air Force duty in Europe, I put a coin in a restaurant record machine to hear Eartha Kitt sing: Santa Baby. A grouchy looking fellow customer said something derogatory about black singers. So, I pumped in 10 more coins so that he and I could both enjoy a whole hour of Eartha.
2. Sex
Bestiality: The Louisiana State Senate recently passed a bill outlawing bestiality. Ten Senators voted against it! (Well, now we know what they do in their spare time in Louisiana.)
Hard Act to Follow: Penis Baba, a Hindu holy man is able to pull a compact car 100 feet using a towrope attached to his male member. He attributes this feat to "the power of God .. the power of devotion." (and probably a bit of Viagra.)
3. Trump
Conscience bother you? A 67-year old man died due to a fire on the 50th floor of Trump Tower in New York City. Why didn't the sprinkler go off? Well.. it wasn't necessary to have one on "older" buildings like Trump Tower. (Trump and other developers successfully lobbied to have a New York sprinkler requirement not apply to their pre-1999 buildings. Yes, it was said by them to be "unnecessary and expensive.")
4. Religion
Massachusetts Legacy: I just completed a Great Course about the famous Massachusetts thinkers: Emerson, Thoreau, and others. I was reminded that in my Grandparents' home where I grew up, there were only two books, kept reverently. One was The Progress of Julius and the other was Emerson's Essays. Both books made a great impression on me, and probably are responsible for the way I think about things.
I did not read Thoreau until I left home, but I always had a feel for the "native life" .. communing with nature.. and a few years ago I was able to visit Walden Pond. So, I was interested in a study that found that the pristine nature of Walden Pond has been attacked by swimmers "peeing in the pond." Did Thoreau pee in the pond? Of course not!
5. Music
Carousel: I loved this musical years ago. Now it is making a Broadway revival only in a slightly different way. The leads are of different races. Why does that matter? It doesn't. It's the voices that matter. When the leads sing "If I loved you!" I have always cried. Sorry. I confess. Just as I cry when Mimi dies in La Boheme, so I cry when I hear Billy and Julie belt it out.
Billy: If I loved you
Julie: But you don't.
Billy: No, I don't.
But somehow I can see just exactly how I'd be...
If I loved you.
Time and again I would try to say
All I'd want you to know.
If I loved you,
Words wouldn't come in an easy way.
Round in circles I'd go.
Longin' to tell you but afraid and shy,
I'd let my golden chances pass me by.
...
Even writing those words, the tears come to my eyes.
Why is that? Because tough guys do cry at times, and as this tough guy gets older, he cries more often. That's life, my friend.
(Thank you Mr. Rogers and Mr. Hammerstein.)
6. Guns
Are You Carrying? A Nevada woman refused to sing the Star Spangled Banner before a ball game because a metal detector would reveal the gun she carries with her at all time.
(Unbelievable!)
IMHO
................................................................................
Monday, April 9, 2018
Trivial Stuff #2
Finally! I finished my income tax yesterday and mailed it off. It was very complicated this year, but I was finally get it to a fair refund. However, at the same time, I had to give most of it back in the form of an estimated payment for 2018. Such is life. As my co-worker Lloyd Hess often said:
"Sometimes you get the bear; sometimes the bear gets you." How true.
Anyway, now that I have accomplished the horrendous IRS task, I hope to have more time to devote to my blog activity.
..........................................................................................................
Here is some more trivial "stuff" that I've found recently while working on eliminating other "stuff" that I should have gotten rid of before moving to my current home. This is from notes that I prepared and may be in error here and there.
Medicine Breakthrough: Paul Winchell and Doctor Heimlich invented and patented the artificial heart. (Was Mr. Winchell the entertainer? I assume Heimlich developed the "maneuver.")
Biblical Puzzle: What is the origin of the phrase: "offspring of the virgin's womb." (The Bible mentions Jesus' brothers.. so, he must have been the "older brother.")
Dirty Tricks Politics: From a Conservative: "Gingrich had a Road to DesMoines Conversion!" (By the way, it was Newt Gingrich who forced Republicans to call the Democratic Party "the Democrat Party" because it had a "harsher ring to it."
Space Watching: A laundry washer/dryer has been installed on the Space Station. (Before this time, dirty underwear had to be jettisoned. As it burned on re-entry, lovers made wishes, thinking it was a shooting star.)
Royalty $: In 2011, Queen Elizabeth suffered a "pay raise."
Air Line Sex: The safety video for passengers on an airline shows scantily clad stewardesses. (One might ask: "Why?".. when the Brits during World War II found that its cryptographers were falling asleep while reading important coding instructions, they began to intersperse pictures of naked ladies among the instruction pages. This caught the coders' attention and kept them awake.
Years later, when I was tasked with putting together a very dull work activity manual for the Government, I made a special edition of the manual, with scantily-clad ladies interspersed. Because I did not want to appear entirely sexist, I also included a picture of a man in a bathing suit. )
Hollywood Question: Why did Rudolph Valentino wear extra-wide suspenders?
(yes.. I know... to keep his pants up)
Appropriate Personnel: Captain Lust is now responsible for keeping the Sex Offenders Registry up to date.
Religious Calling: A priest had a cat named "Honey." He had to change it when people began to wonder when they heard him calling the cat late at night.
Country Music Wisdom: Vince Gill's father wrote a song with these lyrics: "It's hard to kiss those lips at night after she's chewed your ass all day!"
.................................................................................................................................
BASTA!
"Sometimes you get the bear; sometimes the bear gets you." How true.
Anyway, now that I have accomplished the horrendous IRS task, I hope to have more time to devote to my blog activity.
..........................................................................................................
Here is some more trivial "stuff" that I've found recently while working on eliminating other "stuff" that I should have gotten rid of before moving to my current home. This is from notes that I prepared and may be in error here and there.
Medicine Breakthrough: Paul Winchell and Doctor Heimlich invented and patented the artificial heart. (Was Mr. Winchell the entertainer? I assume Heimlich developed the "maneuver.")
Biblical Puzzle: What is the origin of the phrase: "offspring of the virgin's womb." (The Bible mentions Jesus' brothers.. so, he must have been the "older brother.")
Dirty Tricks Politics: From a Conservative: "Gingrich had a Road to DesMoines Conversion!" (By the way, it was Newt Gingrich who forced Republicans to call the Democratic Party "the Democrat Party" because it had a "harsher ring to it."
Space Watching: A laundry washer/dryer has been installed on the Space Station. (Before this time, dirty underwear had to be jettisoned. As it burned on re-entry, lovers made wishes, thinking it was a shooting star.)
Royalty $: In 2011, Queen Elizabeth suffered a "pay raise."
Air Line Sex: The safety video for passengers on an airline shows scantily clad stewardesses. (One might ask: "Why?".. when the Brits during World War II found that its cryptographers were falling asleep while reading important coding instructions, they began to intersperse pictures of naked ladies among the instruction pages. This caught the coders' attention and kept them awake.
Years later, when I was tasked with putting together a very dull work activity manual for the Government, I made a special edition of the manual, with scantily-clad ladies interspersed. Because I did not want to appear entirely sexist, I also included a picture of a man in a bathing suit. )
Hollywood Question: Why did Rudolph Valentino wear extra-wide suspenders?
(yes.. I know... to keep his pants up)
Appropriate Personnel: Captain Lust is now responsible for keeping the Sex Offenders Registry up to date.
Religious Calling: A priest had a cat named "Honey." He had to change it when people began to wonder when they heard him calling the cat late at night.
Country Music Wisdom: Vince Gill's father wrote a song with these lyrics: "It's hard to kiss those lips at night after she's chewed your ass all day!"
.................................................................................................................................
BASTA!
Friday, March 30, 2018
Trivial Stuff #1
I'm trying to weed out the stuff that I should have weeded out ten years ago when we moved to our present location. It will take me at least another year to get even close to being done, but it doesn't seem like too much of a chore, because I am finding or remembering lots of interesting things that I saved up over the years. Most of this I will throw out and a little of it I will post to this blog.
Here are a few of the things I found yesterday:
todo: Visit the elephant museum on Rt 30.
what?: The moonman speech.
todo: Visit the Portuguese Restaurant in Frederick.. at 611 N. Market St.
who?: Tenor ... Umberto Giordano
phrase: She was like poultry in motion.
todo: Visit the Mucha museum in Prague.
todo: Find out about the Wilcox murder case.
todo: Find out how to use the "snipping tool"
can do: Clone your dog in San Francisco for $100,000. (Dogs are the 18th animal to be cloned. Dolly the sheep was first. Italy was the first country to clone a horse. A cloned calico cat had weird colors.) I believe Barbara Streisand just cloned her dog.
saying: President Ford: "If Lincoln was alive today, he'd be turning over in his grave."
look for: The midgets in the final scene of Casablanca.
Joke: A man rubs a lamp and a genie says he will grant him a wish:
Man: I would like to have a highway made from the mainland to the island of Hawaii.
Genie: That's too hard to do. Make a different wish.
Man: Let me understand women.
Genie: How many lanes do you want?
(I may have gotten this from Hermine Saunders)
Joke: A man takes his depressed wife to see a doctor. The doctor says that the wife's problems will be solved if she has some loving 3 times a week. The man says: "OK, put me down for Tuesdays."
(Maybe stolen from Roy Ciavacci)
Joke: Man 1: When you were in the army, did you get a commission?
Man 2: No, just straight pay.
(maybe from Reader's Digest)
GENUG!
Here are a few of the things I found yesterday:
todo: Visit the elephant museum on Rt 30.
what?: The moonman speech.
todo: Visit the Portuguese Restaurant in Frederick.. at 611 N. Market St.
who?: Tenor ... Umberto Giordano
phrase: She was like poultry in motion.
todo: Visit the Mucha museum in Prague.
todo: Find out about the Wilcox murder case.
todo: Find out how to use the "snipping tool"
can do: Clone your dog in San Francisco for $100,000. (Dogs are the 18th animal to be cloned. Dolly the sheep was first. Italy was the first country to clone a horse. A cloned calico cat had weird colors.) I believe Barbara Streisand just cloned her dog.
saying: President Ford: "If Lincoln was alive today, he'd be turning over in his grave."
look for: The midgets in the final scene of Casablanca.
Joke: A man rubs a lamp and a genie says he will grant him a wish:
Man: I would like to have a highway made from the mainland to the island of Hawaii.
Genie: That's too hard to do. Make a different wish.
Man: Let me understand women.
Genie: How many lanes do you want?
(I may have gotten this from Hermine Saunders)
Joke: A man takes his depressed wife to see a doctor. The doctor says that the wife's problems will be solved if she has some loving 3 times a week. The man says: "OK, put me down for Tuesdays."
(Maybe stolen from Roy Ciavacci)
Joke: Man 1: When you were in the army, did you get a commission?
Man 2: No, just straight pay.
(maybe from Reader's Digest)
GENUG!
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