"Begin to gather material for .. 'educating your baby' .. for the 'MOMS' Group... prepare a precis first ... relate some of 'thinking' module and Mozart..."
Yes, I gave such a presentation in 1998. I talked about the "Mozart effect" and other baby-training programs which were then popular. I had the audience on the edges of their seats until I mentioned a situation that I had experienced when my daughter, Elizabeth, was 7 years old.
Elizabeth was a "delight".. smart and bright and a joy of a child. However, she was a bit hyperactive. Our chubby old pediatrician suggested giving her medication to calm her down. Her mother and I refused. We loved her the way she was and didn't want her to become a zombie.
One day, I received a letter from her 2nd grade teacher complaining that she could not control Elizabeth in the classroom. She hinted that my daughter might be mentally retarded.
I immediately hurried to the school and confronted the teacher. After listening to her for a while, I decided that she just did not know how to handle a hyper-active child and I told her a "fib" to see if that would change her attitude to my child.
I said that we had had Elizabeth tested by Johns Hopkins and they found that she had an IQ that was astronomical. This was a kid who qualified for Mensa while only 7 years old.
The teacher was impressed when she heard my "little white lie" and completely changed how she handled my daughter. Suddenly, Elizabeth was one of her best students, who flourished under the new attention given her by the teacher.
As I told this to these young "MOMS" group members, their faces got a bit grim and the rest of my presentation was disastrous.
What I had not realized was they most of the members of this group were either current or former school teachers and they did not like parents lying to them!
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On the back of this old note was scribbled this joke:
At a wedding, a kid asked her mother why the bride wore white. The mother explained that it is a symbol of happiness, as this is the happiest day in her life.
The kid thought about this for a while and then said, "Then, why is the groom wearing black?"
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The Human Brain
In 2002, Japan built the world's fastest computer. It's speed was 40 trillion floating-point operations per second.
As great as that is, think about the human brain that is capable of electro-chemical configurations at the rate of 10 to the trillionth power!
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Height
I'm reading about Mae West and I've found out that she was very short and used high heels and some form of "lifters" to get her high enough to entice her male movie mates. In fact, this combination of height-increasing aids raised her a total of 9 inches. Yes, I said 9 inches.
Apparently, these aids affected how she walked... in a kind of shuffle.. which became "her sexy walk."
As I've mentioned a million times before, I have lost around 4 inches in height since I was a teen-ager, and I wasn't that tall to begin with. I am just having a hard time getting used to being a "little old man."
Here is a "gem" from my friend, Alan Kaufman. Alan was 5'4" as he stood in line at a movie theater in Ocean City. In front of him was a guy who was almost 7' tall. Alan tugged on the man's pant leg and asked him, "Do you play basketball?"
The tall man looked down and replied, "No, do you play miniature golf?"
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