Some questions I have been pondering:
How fast is our deficit going up because of things that djt is doing?
Am I the only recipient of the Tax Relief Act that has to increase IRS payments by $4000?
What keeps djt's orange hair from flying away in a gale?
Is djt really a billionaire?
Who decided that a sitting president can't be arrested for blatant crimes?
Have there been any attempts on djt's life while he has been president?
What information is being kept from djt by reputable Government workers who fear what he would do if he knew about certain things?
Did djt launder money from the Ukraine? Russia? Arabia?
What did djt say to Putin when nobody but him was in attendance?
Was the Steele dossier correct in all respects?
Why are the Republicans afraid of djt?
Has djt been compromised by Putin?
Will the tariffs affect the vote for djt by farmers?
How many farmers will go bankrupt because of djt?
Will the Democrats finally decide to start impeachment hearings?
Will the Senate leader go to jail for corruption?
Why is there no pet dog in the white house?
Why did the Brits honor Trump and his family?
Will somebody fire Kellyann for Hatch Act violations?
Revisit next year and see if any of this has been answered.
Monday, June 17, 2019
Friday, May 31, 2019
More from the Pink Book... Carnivals
Yes, I know.. I have become very slow in posting to this blog. TMGO (too much going on). But, here is a bit more in an attempt to catch up.
TUNE IN: Be careful in your Internet dealings.
I use TuneIn to access podcasts, but sometimes the advertisements bug the hell out of me. For instance:
Run along, little dust bunnies, run along!
What does this button do? What does this button do?
Those are for Geico, I believe. They play on and on, all day long, during podcast or news breaks.
A couple of weeks ago, I decided to find out about Tune In Premium. The ad for Premium said that there would be no other ads to bother us. Instead, the ad spots would be filled with news items. (Perhaps that could be painful to hear the same news over and over..?)
I talked to a nice lady about Premium, but at the end of our talk I said that I was not going to get it.
So, of course, in my next Discover bill, I found an entry for a $99 payment to TuneIn Premium. There was a telephone number next to the entry. I called it and argued with someone for a while, to try to get a refund of my $99. I was told that because I "ordered Premium" from a "3rd Party" I should not get a refund. My answer to that was that if I did not get my refund, I would be telling my story to the local newspaper. They gave me the refund.
Coupons!
Whenever I buy a 50-50 chance at a church, carnival, or club, I get a ticket stub with the "potential" winning number... but it also usually says, in bold type: KEEP THIS COUPON
Now, tell me what I should do with all of these coupons?
Carnival Gambling 1
When I lived in New Bedford, the Portuguese Catholic Church would have carnivals in the Spring and in the Fall. They had them in a large area across the street from my house, so, it was easy for me and my friends to visit them.
We didn't have much money, so we just watched other people win or lose. One night, while we were watching a money wheel, we noticed that the triple six wheel face kept coming up whenever one of the wheel spinners would do his thing. Aha! A chance to make some money. We only had a couple of dimes.. but we put one one the six spot when our spinner twirled the wheel. We won!
We did this for a while and got richer and richer, until an observant priest found out what was going on. A new wheel spinner was assigned; we grabbed our ill-gotten gains and left quickly.
Carnival Gambling 2
Later, in Junior High School, I had a lot of jobs because our family was not very rich. One of my jobs was at New Bedford's Sargeant Field. I "manned" the ring toss game. My orders were to:
Let every 7th player win something, even though their ring didn't circle any clothes pin. (It cost 25 cents to play. The prizes cost something like 10 for $1.)
If the player's ring encircled a clothes pin labeled "81".. tell them that the winning number was "18."
Ditto with "99" .. "66." Ditto with "45" .. "54." You get the picture.
Of course, you know that I did not follow the rules when the boss wasn't looking.
Carnival Concessions
Sargeant Field had a large bleachers set up for folks to watch circus acts or baseball games. A bunch of us "rats" would sell hot dogs and soda to the attendees. Not bad for 12 year olds.. we got 10 cents for every $1 sale. Because I sold more that the other kids, I received 15 cents per $1 sale.
Besides making a few bucks, us kids got to see all of the circus acts for free.
My favorite was "The Great Lalage".. a muscular lady who twirled hundreds of times on a hanging ring. After her act, she would retire to her trailer, which was next to a fence that could be climbed by young boys who would then peak in her trailer window to watch her get undressed.
The circus "roustabouts" appreciated kids who worked hard, putting up, and,or, taking down circus tents and sheds. There were "managers" who had the kids line up for payment of 50 cents each at the end of the night. Once again, because I worked very hard, each "manager" let me on their line so that I could receive extra money.
Enough for now.
TUNE IN: Be careful in your Internet dealings.
I use TuneIn to access podcasts, but sometimes the advertisements bug the hell out of me. For instance:
Run along, little dust bunnies, run along!
What does this button do? What does this button do?
Those are for Geico, I believe. They play on and on, all day long, during podcast or news breaks.
A couple of weeks ago, I decided to find out about Tune In Premium. The ad for Premium said that there would be no other ads to bother us. Instead, the ad spots would be filled with news items. (Perhaps that could be painful to hear the same news over and over..?)
I talked to a nice lady about Premium, but at the end of our talk I said that I was not going to get it.
So, of course, in my next Discover bill, I found an entry for a $99 payment to TuneIn Premium. There was a telephone number next to the entry. I called it and argued with someone for a while, to try to get a refund of my $99. I was told that because I "ordered Premium" from a "3rd Party" I should not get a refund. My answer to that was that if I did not get my refund, I would be telling my story to the local newspaper. They gave me the refund.
Coupons!
Whenever I buy a 50-50 chance at a church, carnival, or club, I get a ticket stub with the "potential" winning number... but it also usually says, in bold type: KEEP THIS COUPON
Now, tell me what I should do with all of these coupons?
Carnival Gambling 1
When I lived in New Bedford, the Portuguese Catholic Church would have carnivals in the Spring and in the Fall. They had them in a large area across the street from my house, so, it was easy for me and my friends to visit them.
We didn't have much money, so we just watched other people win or lose. One night, while we were watching a money wheel, we noticed that the triple six wheel face kept coming up whenever one of the wheel spinners would do his thing. Aha! A chance to make some money. We only had a couple of dimes.. but we put one one the six spot when our spinner twirled the wheel. We won!
We did this for a while and got richer and richer, until an observant priest found out what was going on. A new wheel spinner was assigned; we grabbed our ill-gotten gains and left quickly.
Carnival Gambling 2
Later, in Junior High School, I had a lot of jobs because our family was not very rich. One of my jobs was at New Bedford's Sargeant Field. I "manned" the ring toss game. My orders were to:
Let every 7th player win something, even though their ring didn't circle any clothes pin. (It cost 25 cents to play. The prizes cost something like 10 for $1.)
If the player's ring encircled a clothes pin labeled "81".. tell them that the winning number was "18."
Ditto with "99" .. "66." Ditto with "45" .. "54." You get the picture.
Of course, you know that I did not follow the rules when the boss wasn't looking.
Carnival Concessions
Sargeant Field had a large bleachers set up for folks to watch circus acts or baseball games. A bunch of us "rats" would sell hot dogs and soda to the attendees. Not bad for 12 year olds.. we got 10 cents for every $1 sale. Because I sold more that the other kids, I received 15 cents per $1 sale.
Besides making a few bucks, us kids got to see all of the circus acts for free.
My favorite was "The Great Lalage".. a muscular lady who twirled hundreds of times on a hanging ring. After her act, she would retire to her trailer, which was next to a fence that could be climbed by young boys who would then peak in her trailer window to watch her get undressed.
The circus "roustabouts" appreciated kids who worked hard, putting up, and,or, taking down circus tents and sheds. There were "managers" who had the kids line up for payment of 50 cents each at the end of the night. Once again, because I worked very hard, each "manager" let me on their line so that I could receive extra money.
Enough for now.
Thursday, April 18, 2019
In My Grandfather's Footsteps
Stuff in a Pink Book.
I loved my old reprobate of a grandfather... Arthur S. Vaughan was father to 15 children and after they all had grown, found me as a new addition to his home. I have many stories to tell about my "Grandpa Vaughan." I'll get to them later.
Meanwhile, I will do something that emulates his adult life activity. Cutting and pasting newspaper and magazine items that meet my interest. Grandpa cut and pasted to the wall of his "den;" I will cut and paste to big pink notebooks.
Why pink? Because, after I am gone, as my junk is being thrown out, the junkman may pause when he sees a pink notebook and look inside and find out a lot about me. And I'll live again.
The New Bedford, Massachusetts Standard Times newspaper had a rotogravure section on Sundays. One Wednesday, a photographer showed up and took pictures of the interesting items on Grandpa's wall. Some pictures were of the Siamese Twins, Jumbo the Elephant, Emmet Kelly (circus clown and drinking buddy of Grandpa), Tom Thumb, etc... you get the idea. The pictures he took showed up in the next week's rotogravure... the year was 1948.
I've been trying to get a copy of that rotogravure section from the Standard Times; but, with no results. However, those covered walls are impressed on my eyeballs.. I can see those images in my brain database. I appreciate my grandfather feeding my curiosity and making my life much more interesting than it could have been.
Now is the time for emulation, at least in a small way; I don't want to post to walls; instead, I will paste into those pink notebooks.
(Yes, I know, you saw that back in the 1960's I had done the same thing with regular scrap books, so this is not a new activity for me. I love those old scrap books. I look at them a lot and relive the '60's, a time of excitement for me and my beloved wife, Elaine. In the '60's, we moved to Baltimore and it was here that my beautiful girls and handsome boy were born. What a wonderful time that was!)
Here goes: (random "stuff" .. started when I turned 85 on February 1, 2019)
Roman poet Horace (65 BC - 8 BC) said: "Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans, it's lovely to be silly at the right moment." Later, I will tell about the British cryptographic manuals and how they got to be read, even though they were dull as hell. Also, I will tell about how I jazzed up the project management manuals at the Social Security Administration... i.e., the infamous "Macintosh Versions."
In the 1960's, I founded Niemand Associates. This was an organization created to get my co-workers to use a reading file and become better employees. For years, NA was run out of a Randallstown Post Office box; later its address was: P.O. Box 779, Finksburg, MD, 21048. One of my aliases at the time was: H.M. Niemand. (of course, H.M. stands for Herman Melville!) and those who know German know what my last name stood for.
SuZee has lived with us for about ten years now. She is a Siamese cat (not a twin).. and quite food looking. But, she is a "fraidy cat." She was found alone in a barn. Her mother had been killed by a "varmint." The finder brought her home as a little kitten be share a food bowl with two husky dogs. Even as a kitten, she was feisty and the two dogs had to watch out. (She was not a "fraidy cat" until later.) We adopted her and took her to our home... fleas... fleas... Elaine had to give her 85 baths to get rid of them. Also, here coloring did not look like Siamese coloring while she was a kitten and we thought that she was a mongrel. But, after a few months, this kitten blossomed into a beautifully colored Siamese cat.
My favorite painter is Alphonse Mucha.. If I ever try to learn to paint, I would like to do beautiful ladies like he did. Some of the ladies in his pictures look like the Elaines in my life.
Tom Clancy (1947 - 2013) said: "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
ENOUGH!
I loved my old reprobate of a grandfather... Arthur S. Vaughan was father to 15 children and after they all had grown, found me as a new addition to his home. I have many stories to tell about my "Grandpa Vaughan." I'll get to them later.
Meanwhile, I will do something that emulates his adult life activity. Cutting and pasting newspaper and magazine items that meet my interest. Grandpa cut and pasted to the wall of his "den;" I will cut and paste to big pink notebooks.
Why pink? Because, after I am gone, as my junk is being thrown out, the junkman may pause when he sees a pink notebook and look inside and find out a lot about me. And I'll live again.
The New Bedford, Massachusetts Standard Times newspaper had a rotogravure section on Sundays. One Wednesday, a photographer showed up and took pictures of the interesting items on Grandpa's wall. Some pictures were of the Siamese Twins, Jumbo the Elephant, Emmet Kelly (circus clown and drinking buddy of Grandpa), Tom Thumb, etc... you get the idea. The pictures he took showed up in the next week's rotogravure... the year was 1948.
I've been trying to get a copy of that rotogravure section from the Standard Times; but, with no results. However, those covered walls are impressed on my eyeballs.. I can see those images in my brain database. I appreciate my grandfather feeding my curiosity and making my life much more interesting than it could have been.
Now is the time for emulation, at least in a small way; I don't want to post to walls; instead, I will paste into those pink notebooks.
(Yes, I know, you saw that back in the 1960's I had done the same thing with regular scrap books, so this is not a new activity for me. I love those old scrap books. I look at them a lot and relive the '60's, a time of excitement for me and my beloved wife, Elaine. In the '60's, we moved to Baltimore and it was here that my beautiful girls and handsome boy were born. What a wonderful time that was!)
Here goes: (random "stuff" .. started when I turned 85 on February 1, 2019)
Roman poet Horace (65 BC - 8 BC) said: "Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans, it's lovely to be silly at the right moment." Later, I will tell about the British cryptographic manuals and how they got to be read, even though they were dull as hell. Also, I will tell about how I jazzed up the project management manuals at the Social Security Administration... i.e., the infamous "Macintosh Versions."
In the 1960's, I founded Niemand Associates. This was an organization created to get my co-workers to use a reading file and become better employees. For years, NA was run out of a Randallstown Post Office box; later its address was: P.O. Box 779, Finksburg, MD, 21048. One of my aliases at the time was: H.M. Niemand. (of course, H.M. stands for Herman Melville!) and those who know German know what my last name stood for.
SuZee has lived with us for about ten years now. She is a Siamese cat (not a twin).. and quite food looking. But, she is a "fraidy cat." She was found alone in a barn. Her mother had been killed by a "varmint." The finder brought her home as a little kitten be share a food bowl with two husky dogs. Even as a kitten, she was feisty and the two dogs had to watch out. (She was not a "fraidy cat" until later.) We adopted her and took her to our home... fleas... fleas... Elaine had to give her 85 baths to get rid of them. Also, here coloring did not look like Siamese coloring while she was a kitten and we thought that she was a mongrel. But, after a few months, this kitten blossomed into a beautifully colored Siamese cat.
My favorite painter is Alphonse Mucha.. If I ever try to learn to paint, I would like to do beautiful ladies like he did. Some of the ladies in his pictures look like the Elaines in my life.
ENOUGH!
Sunday, March 3, 2019
Silly Stuff for a Snowy Afternoon
I had planned on spending a couple of hours at the Giant Supermarket to restock our larder. However, before I could leave the house, it began to snow.. big time! Since it would be stupid for me to try to drive in a snow storm, I decided to stay home and do a blog entry. (Still procrastinating about Income Tax.)
Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
Very funny show today. Alan Sorkin was a contestant.. West Wing creator and now honcho for the staging of To Kill A Mockingbird on Broadway. Some of the other things discussed:
Fit Chickens
China is now outfitting chickens with miniature Fitbits. They record the chickens' steps so that freshness can be determined... I guess.
(Someone quipped: So now we will know why the chicken crossed the road... to get a longer step score.)
License Plates
In some parts of Australia, emoji vanity plates are being allowed. I wonder what the police think about that.
Speaking of vanity plates, I've had my Mensa plate for years. Since I got it, I've only seen one other car with another Mensa plate. When I got the plate, I asked them to not give me a vanity number of less than 120, the Stanford-Binet score for the Genius level. So... they gave me 80 (low normal.)
........................................
Craft Beer
Someone mentioned that a brewer is making marshmallow India Pale Ale (IPA). No.. please.. no!
(I only drink IPA now. Everything else tastes like sour water.. especially Lite Beer. I have talked about this before: I visited a brewery in Pennsylvania where they had two big vats. They both were filled with the same kind of beer. However, after a while, an equal amount of water was pumped into one of the vats and mixed thoroughly. I was told that this is how they make Lite Beer. No wonder it tastes like water.)
..................................................
Wisdom from WWDTM
"A foot long hot dog is always the right size."
.........................................
Here is some current Religion information from a couple of sources.
Harpers Index mentions that there are probably around 120,000 Christian missionaries who have left the US to preach the Gospel to the heathens.
They also mention that there are probably around 30,000 foreign missionaries who have left their homes to preach their religious beliefs to us heathens.
None of this will probably help anybody. IMHO
The Carroll County Times is advertising a "drive-through" for folks who want to get ashes on Ash Wednesday. And, of course, if you have a favorite pet, you can get them blessed in a "drive-through" lane at one of the churches.
Talk about laziness. Also, when I was down in South Carolina, one of the funeral parlors was advertising "drive-through" viewings.
Methodists May Not Be Gay About This
The Week Magazine reports that at a meeting of United Methodist Church leaders in St. Louis, a slim majority voted to retain anti-gay rules. No gay marriage ceremonies allowed. This ruling will probably result in another one of those "schisms" that occur over the years to a religion that is in its dotage.
.....................................................
Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
Very funny show today. Alan Sorkin was a contestant.. West Wing creator and now honcho for the staging of To Kill A Mockingbird on Broadway. Some of the other things discussed:
Fit Chickens
China is now outfitting chickens with miniature Fitbits. They record the chickens' steps so that freshness can be determined... I guess.
(Someone quipped: So now we will know why the chicken crossed the road... to get a longer step score.)
License Plates
In some parts of Australia, emoji vanity plates are being allowed. I wonder what the police think about that.
Speaking of vanity plates, I've had my Mensa plate for years. Since I got it, I've only seen one other car with another Mensa plate. When I got the plate, I asked them to not give me a vanity number of less than 120, the Stanford-Binet score for the Genius level. So... they gave me 80 (low normal.)
........................................
Craft Beer
Someone mentioned that a brewer is making marshmallow India Pale Ale (IPA). No.. please.. no!
(I only drink IPA now. Everything else tastes like sour water.. especially Lite Beer. I have talked about this before: I visited a brewery in Pennsylvania where they had two big vats. They both were filled with the same kind of beer. However, after a while, an equal amount of water was pumped into one of the vats and mixed thoroughly. I was told that this is how they make Lite Beer. No wonder it tastes like water.)
..................................................
Wisdom from WWDTM
"A foot long hot dog is always the right size."
.........................................
Here is some current Religion information from a couple of sources.
Harpers Index mentions that there are probably around 120,000 Christian missionaries who have left the US to preach the Gospel to the heathens.
They also mention that there are probably around 30,000 foreign missionaries who have left their homes to preach their religious beliefs to us heathens.
None of this will probably help anybody. IMHO
The Carroll County Times is advertising a "drive-through" for folks who want to get ashes on Ash Wednesday. And, of course, if you have a favorite pet, you can get them blessed in a "drive-through" lane at one of the churches.
Talk about laziness. Also, when I was down in South Carolina, one of the funeral parlors was advertising "drive-through" viewings.
Methodists May Not Be Gay About This
The Week Magazine reports that at a meeting of United Methodist Church leaders in St. Louis, a slim majority voted to retain anti-gay rules. No gay marriage ceremonies allowed. This ruling will probably result in another one of those "schisms" that occur over the years to a religion that is in its dotage.
.....................................................
Thursday, February 28, 2019
New Stuff
I am very disgusted with the way the Republican members of the House Oversight Committee acted as Michael Cohen gave testimony. They call him a liar.. but who encouraged him to lie? Who edited his statements before he gave them in his prior appearance? Hypocrites! What is trump holding over their heads to get them all to act alike?
Anyway.. you know why I am writing a lot of blog entries lately... yes, I am avoiding doing my Income Tax. Ye procrastination god.. thou art my muse.
Aging
Someone sent me this new take on a famous prayer:
The Senility Prayer
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway, the good fortune
to run into the ones I do, and the
eyesight to tell the difference.
..................................................................
Math Question (from the American Legion Magazine)
Teacher: "If there are seven flies and I hit one with a ruler, how many are left?"
Student: "Just the one you squashed."
.....................................................................
Literature (from New York Times Book Review)
Chelsea Clinton mentioned something she read in a Perez-Reverte novel. One of the characters said: "Never trust a man who reads only one book."
El presidente may have never read a book.. and... his own book The Art of the Deal was ghost-written.
In my years on the boards of several non-profit organizations, I had to interact with lots of people who have never read anything but the Bible. Yes, I have read it too. (Some of it.. because some other parts put me to sleep, I'm sorry to say.) But.. one must read other things because the Bible should not be taken as the complete guide for everything one does... Some of the preachers that I interacted with proved to be hypocrites.. IMHO. However, some were wonderful people... IMHO.
........................................................................
Weird Stuff (from a recent Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me)
Clothes
One of the famous designers (Laurent?) has designed some high heeled shoes with wheels attached. Are they like the funny sneakers that little kids have? I have a hard time visualizing some tall, skinny super model whizzing by in her rolling high heels.
Fast Food
There now are oyster vending machines in France.
How on earth would they keep the oysters fresh? Stick a franc (or euro) into a slot and get to slurp an oyster (except during certain months.) Also, how on earth do you keep them cold? Wait a minute, we have ice cream vending machines, so I guess it is possible to keep anything cold in a vending machine.
Quite a while ago, I read about a High School class that went on a European trip and discovered that they could get a can of beer from a vending machine. High times!
......................................................................
enough
Anyway.. you know why I am writing a lot of blog entries lately... yes, I am avoiding doing my Income Tax. Ye procrastination god.. thou art my muse.
Aging
Someone sent me this new take on a famous prayer:
The Senility Prayer
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway, the good fortune
to run into the ones I do, and the
eyesight to tell the difference.
..................................................................
Math Question (from the American Legion Magazine)
Teacher: "If there are seven flies and I hit one with a ruler, how many are left?"
Student: "Just the one you squashed."
.....................................................................
Literature (from New York Times Book Review)
Chelsea Clinton mentioned something she read in a Perez-Reverte novel. One of the characters said: "Never trust a man who reads only one book."
El presidente may have never read a book.. and... his own book The Art of the Deal was ghost-written.
In my years on the boards of several non-profit organizations, I had to interact with lots of people who have never read anything but the Bible. Yes, I have read it too. (Some of it.. because some other parts put me to sleep, I'm sorry to say.) But.. one must read other things because the Bible should not be taken as the complete guide for everything one does... Some of the preachers that I interacted with proved to be hypocrites.. IMHO. However, some were wonderful people... IMHO.
........................................................................
Weird Stuff (from a recent Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me)
Clothes
One of the famous designers (Laurent?) has designed some high heeled shoes with wheels attached. Are they like the funny sneakers that little kids have? I have a hard time visualizing some tall, skinny super model whizzing by in her rolling high heels.
Fast Food
There now are oyster vending machines in France.
How on earth would they keep the oysters fresh? Stick a franc (or euro) into a slot and get to slurp an oyster (except during certain months.) Also, how on earth do you keep them cold? Wait a minute, we have ice cream vending machines, so I guess it is possible to keep anything cold in a vending machine.
Quite a while ago, I read about a High School class that went on a European trip and discovered that they could get a can of beer from a vending machine. High times!
......................................................................
enough
Wednesday, February 27, 2019
Quick Facts
I think I should take a break from my Politics, Religion and Sex entries. Instead, today, I will talk about some other stuff, while not as interesting, could still command a little attention.
Animals Rights
According to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the PETA organization has decided that animals are getting a bad break on some of our phrases, and has suggested some changes, such as:
Old: Bring home the bacon.
New: Bring home the bagels.
Old: Kill two birds with one stone.
New: Feed two birds with one scone.
Old: There's more than one way to skin a cat.
New: There's more than one way to feed a cat.
What do you think? I think that PETA also wants pet owners to clothe their animals. I could be wrong on this... I hope so.
...................................
Large Population Solution
The Saturday Evening Post says that Texas could contain the Earth's entire population if it were as densely populated as New York City.
And Ted Cruz would run the show.
...........................................
Animal Talk (from my 1988 stand-up routine)
Wife bear to husband bear: "Did you eat something that disagreed with you? You tossed and turned all Winter long."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Perseverance for sure!
The Week Magazine in 2016 reported that an 80 year-old homeless woman won a 16-year-long battle to claim Social Security benefits. She received a lump sum check for $99,999.
This reminds me of the time that our Social Security programmers accidentally paid beneficiaries an amount that was really their zip-code. This was not so great for someone on the East Coast in zip-code 00125, but was great for someone on the West Coast in zip-code 99555. Luckily, the error was caught quickly and not too many people were involved.
.......................................
Enough for now.
Animals Rights
According to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the PETA organization has decided that animals are getting a bad break on some of our phrases, and has suggested some changes, such as:
Old: Bring home the bacon.
New: Bring home the bagels.
Old: Kill two birds with one stone.
New: Feed two birds with one scone.
Old: There's more than one way to skin a cat.
New: There's more than one way to feed a cat.
What do you think? I think that PETA also wants pet owners to clothe their animals. I could be wrong on this... I hope so.
...................................
Large Population Solution
The Saturday Evening Post says that Texas could contain the Earth's entire population if it were as densely populated as New York City.
And Ted Cruz would run the show.
...........................................
Animal Talk (from my 1988 stand-up routine)
Wife bear to husband bear: "Did you eat something that disagreed with you? You tossed and turned all Winter long."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Perseverance for sure!
The Week Magazine in 2016 reported that an 80 year-old homeless woman won a 16-year-long battle to claim Social Security benefits. She received a lump sum check for $99,999.
This reminds me of the time that our Social Security programmers accidentally paid beneficiaries an amount that was really their zip-code. This was not so great for someone on the East Coast in zip-code 00125, but was great for someone on the West Coast in zip-code 99555. Luckily, the error was caught quickly and not too many people were involved.
.......................................
Enough for now.
Sunday, February 24, 2019
A Little More Politics, Religion and Sex
It's hard to tell whether my audience is enjoying my Politics, Religion and Sex blog entries, but I will try it again and see what happens.
Politics: djt
Our current president (the BLOB) said in 2016: "The law's totally on my side... the President can't have a conflict of interest."
(In 2019, the House is in Democratic hands and we'll see if mr trump is correct after some investigation.)
Also, in 2016, The Week Magazine reported that trump supporters were urging via the Internet that coffee-drinkers say their name is 'trump' when ordering at Starbucks, so that the baristas would call out djt's last name whenever an order is ready. (Free advertising.)
.........................................
Religion: 666
The Week Magazine reported in 2013 that a Kentucky high schooler dropped out of her sports competition when she was given the bib number '666.' The devout Christian considers the number to be a sign of the devil. The race organizers refused to give her another number, so she quit, saying: "I didn't want to risk my relationship with God."
1. I read somewhere recently that the number '666' was a mis-translation. It might have been '777' or '999.' What about all the books and pamphlets and sermons alerting us to '666?' Wow! So that's why we are all so messed up!
2. When I was 11 years old, I worked part-time at a circus and learned that when you throw a ring to go around a peg labeled '66' and expected a prize, the one who ran the site would pull the peg, turn it over, and show it as '99' which was not a winner. Same thing with '18' and '81. etc.
While we are at it... after everyone left the circus grounds except us workers, the door on the iron lung would open and the girl who was inside would climb out, yell for a drink and saunter off to her trailer to rest until the next day. (Some of you may not know that an iron lung was used by people with polio. Polio was eradicated in the U.S. a long time ago, but when I was 11, it was still a scourge and many people spent their lives enclosed in an "iron lung." To see someone inside, caused most viewers to dig deep into their wallets.)
..................................................
Sex: Nudism
This week's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! radio show mentioned a new fun thing to do in Australia:
Nude Golf.
They mentioned that this would give new meaning to the phrase: "How's it swingin'?"
Or, in case of "The Blob"... i.e., djt: "How's it hangin'?"
..................................................
OK OK here are a few nudist notes:
A problem at a nudist wedding is where does the best man keep the ring? One might suggest using tape. And just who is considered the "best" man anyway?
Another problem at a nudist wedding is where to put the white carnation.
......................................................
OK OK here is another sex item to consider:
A ninety year old man married a 20 year old girl. He died on the wedding night, and it took the undertaker three days to wipe the smile off of his face.
.......................................
enough!
Politics: djt
Our current president (the BLOB) said in 2016: "The law's totally on my side... the President can't have a conflict of interest."
(In 2019, the House is in Democratic hands and we'll see if mr trump is correct after some investigation.)
Also, in 2016, The Week Magazine reported that trump supporters were urging via the Internet that coffee-drinkers say their name is 'trump' when ordering at Starbucks, so that the baristas would call out djt's last name whenever an order is ready. (Free advertising.)
.........................................
Religion: 666
The Week Magazine reported in 2013 that a Kentucky high schooler dropped out of her sports competition when she was given the bib number '666.' The devout Christian considers the number to be a sign of the devil. The race organizers refused to give her another number, so she quit, saying: "I didn't want to risk my relationship with God."
1. I read somewhere recently that the number '666' was a mis-translation. It might have been '777' or '999.' What about all the books and pamphlets and sermons alerting us to '666?' Wow! So that's why we are all so messed up!
2. When I was 11 years old, I worked part-time at a circus and learned that when you throw a ring to go around a peg labeled '66' and expected a prize, the one who ran the site would pull the peg, turn it over, and show it as '99' which was not a winner. Same thing with '18' and '81. etc.
While we are at it... after everyone left the circus grounds except us workers, the door on the iron lung would open and the girl who was inside would climb out, yell for a drink and saunter off to her trailer to rest until the next day. (Some of you may not know that an iron lung was used by people with polio. Polio was eradicated in the U.S. a long time ago, but when I was 11, it was still a scourge and many people spent their lives enclosed in an "iron lung." To see someone inside, caused most viewers to dig deep into their wallets.)
..................................................
Sex: Nudism
This week's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! radio show mentioned a new fun thing to do in Australia:
Nude Golf.
They mentioned that this would give new meaning to the phrase: "How's it swingin'?"
Or, in case of "The Blob"... i.e., djt: "How's it hangin'?"
..................................................
OK OK here are a few nudist notes:
A problem at a nudist wedding is where does the best man keep the ring? One might suggest using tape. And just who is considered the "best" man anyway?
Another problem at a nudist wedding is where to put the white carnation.
......................................................
OK OK here is another sex item to consider:
A ninety year old man married a 20 year old girl. He died on the wedding night, and it took the undertaker three days to wipe the smile off of his face.
.......................................
enough!
Saturday, February 23, 2019
Our Divided Country
Since djt became president, our country has become more and more divided .. in my opinion.
As an example, two of my long time friends both insulted me this week, and made me have to defend myself.
#1. This gentleman has many great accomplishments and I have looked up to him for many years. But I have not liked his militant politics. Everything is black and white with him, and he is on the white horse.. and Democrats are on the black horse. But that is ok. It is what he believes in and I can handle that.
This week, he said that even though I am a "Mensa" person, I am dumb to be a "Lib." For one thing, how does he know I am a "Lib?" Because I can't stand djt and the Republicans who are afraid of him? I am not a Democrat, by the way. I am an Independent. I had to declare myself to be a Democrat to vote in a recent Maryland primary. If the next set of primary folks look better on the Republican side, I will change my recorded stance in order to vote in their primary.
However, my take on gentleman #1, is that he will never accept anything said or done by the Democratic party, and that is sad.
#2. This gentleman has been a friend for many years, so I was surprised to get his message accusing me of being a "monster" because I approved abortion.
In 1934, my mother could have chosen to abort me and solve a problem; however, she did not, and I am eternally grateful to her for that.
So.. why does this gentleman think that I approve abortion? Once again, I'm afraid that his militancy in that regard causes him to jump to conclusions. Also.. does he know that I am an Independent voter, and would that influence him in any way.
..... There you have it.. two nice guys who hate people who are on their opposing political party. I feel very sorry for them. But... I think that this negativity comes from trump. In fact, I am sure of it.
Question of the Year: Why are members of the Republican Senate afraid of djt? Is there really a Mafia-type situation run out of the White House? Agnew ran his bribery scams out of the White House. Also.. president Harding.. and probably a couple of others. Well... it is time for it to stop before our country is debased completely.
It's time to make dirty-tricksters pay for their crimes. Roger Stone; Rush Limbaugh; Newt Gingrich; .....
See, this negativity has rubbed off on me. For shame.
Meanwhile, today's The Week Magazine reported on something that is probably getting more common every day: Complete Negativity: like this:
"The editor of the Linden, Alabama Democrat-Reporter, has called for the Ku Klux Klan to 'ride again' and clear Washington of Democrats." He said that he hoped the Klan would "get the hemp ropes out, loop them over a tall limb, and hang all of them."
My God! What have we become?!
As an example, two of my long time friends both insulted me this week, and made me have to defend myself.
#1. This gentleman has many great accomplishments and I have looked up to him for many years. But I have not liked his militant politics. Everything is black and white with him, and he is on the white horse.. and Democrats are on the black horse. But that is ok. It is what he believes in and I can handle that.
This week, he said that even though I am a "Mensa" person, I am dumb to be a "Lib." For one thing, how does he know I am a "Lib?" Because I can't stand djt and the Republicans who are afraid of him? I am not a Democrat, by the way. I am an Independent. I had to declare myself to be a Democrat to vote in a recent Maryland primary. If the next set of primary folks look better on the Republican side, I will change my recorded stance in order to vote in their primary.
However, my take on gentleman #1, is that he will never accept anything said or done by the Democratic party, and that is sad.
#2. This gentleman has been a friend for many years, so I was surprised to get his message accusing me of being a "monster" because I approved abortion.
In 1934, my mother could have chosen to abort me and solve a problem; however, she did not, and I am eternally grateful to her for that.
So.. why does this gentleman think that I approve abortion? Once again, I'm afraid that his militancy in that regard causes him to jump to conclusions. Also.. does he know that I am an Independent voter, and would that influence him in any way.
..... There you have it.. two nice guys who hate people who are on their opposing political party. I feel very sorry for them. But... I think that this negativity comes from trump. In fact, I am sure of it.
Question of the Year: Why are members of the Republican Senate afraid of djt? Is there really a Mafia-type situation run out of the White House? Agnew ran his bribery scams out of the White House. Also.. president Harding.. and probably a couple of others. Well... it is time for it to stop before our country is debased completely.
It's time to make dirty-tricksters pay for their crimes. Roger Stone; Rush Limbaugh; Newt Gingrich; .....
See, this negativity has rubbed off on me. For shame.
Meanwhile, today's The Week Magazine reported on something that is probably getting more common every day: Complete Negativity: like this:
"The editor of the Linden, Alabama Democrat-Reporter, has called for the Ku Klux Klan to 'ride again' and clear Washington of Democrats." He said that he hoped the Klan would "get the hemp ropes out, loop them over a tall limb, and hang all of them."
My God! What have we become?!
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
THE 3 "NO NO'S"
REVISITING A 2019 RANT ABOUT THE 3 "NO NO'S"
Religion: The Pope
In 2013, Sarah Palin was monopolizing the "scene" and according to The Week Magazine, she "expressed her disapproval of Pope Francis, saying he's 'taken me aback' with his statements, which she described as 'kind of liberal.'"
When was the last time you heard someone say "aback?" Sarah had lots to say back then. However, after she had almost destroyed the Republican Party, she hasn't been heard of much. At least, I haven't heard much about her.
(The paragraph above could also count as a Politics entry.)
Politics: trump talk
Danika Fears had this published in the New York Post some time ago. They were quotes from our fearless leader.
"It is not 'freedom of the press' when newspapers and others are allowed to say and write whatever they want even if it is completely false!"
Who, besides you, says it's false?
"I grew up in New York City, a town with different races, religions, and peoples. It breeds tolerance."
Did you know any black people except those who lived in the slums you rented out? And were you acquainted with any Moslems?"
"How stupid are the people of Iowa?"
Well, Iowans must be kind of stupid to have voted for you.
Sex: Censorship
The Week Magazine reports in 2017 that Facebook told an Italian art historian to remove images of Neptune from her page, because his genitals are showing. The photograph of Neptune was deemed to be "explicitly sexual."
"Sexual" author Frank Harris said something in his "Life" work about this kind of censorship. I don't have the quote handy but I'll try to bring it back into my memory and paraphrase is:
Curates and prudes are merrily 'going their rounds', ("killing" our appreciation of art) by binding up genitals with "bounds" (fig leafs.)
Religion: Marriage (and Sex)
Susan Squire writes in her book: I Don't: A Contrarian History of Marriage about Martin Luther.
"The father of the Protestant Revolution argued passionately against Rome's idea of marriage as a necessary but evil 'dumping ground' for sex, thus apparently laying 'the theoretical groundwork' for gender equality."
I continue to be amazed at the statements made by Martin Luther. I do like the fact that he loved his beer, and loved his girl friend almost as much.
Politics: Security for djt
The Week Magazine reported in 2017 that Security measures in Trump Tower can cost up to $500,000 per day! Real estate brokers are using that estimate and advertising that condos in the Tower are now the safest in Manhattan.
Sex: Circus Tents
The Saturday Evening Post reported that "in a 2015 auction, one successful bidder paid $16,500 for a pair of Queen Victoria's underpants. They had a 45-inch waist."
"We are not amused!"
Sunday, February 10, 2019
Politics, Sex and Religion
The Toastmasters Organization says that there are three things one should never speak about with others: Politics, Sex and Religion. However, those are the three most spoken about topics for human beings.. even within the clergy.
So here goes. I will try to quickly cover the three topics. (I don't have much time today.) Perhaps I will make a habit of it.
Politics:
Xi Jinping: and China's new role in the world. (The Week, November 2017)
"Xi has made references to the declining role of the U.S. and its unpredictable president. As America withdraws from the world, China is moving to fill the void. "China will be increasingly disinclined to accept international norms or rules it did not create."
I wonder why trump feels that he can get the better of Xi in a trade war. He's like a babe in the woods about to be eaten by a hungry wolf. Our soy bean farmers are already feeling the pinch of trump's stupid tariffs. trump will bankrupt us yet.. don't the republicans understand that he is a business failure and a con man? It's very clear to me and to all of our (now former) allies around the world.
,,,,,
Sex:
No longer boys and girls? (The Week September 2016)
"A New Mexico elementary school principal instructed teachers never to call students "boys and girls" under the school's new Gender Identity Procedure Directive." Teachers were supposed to use gender-neutral terms, such as "students" for the kids in her school. Somebody squealed to parents and they raised hell. The school board apologized and saved face by blaming the principal.
The Boys Club.. what would that be called? The Boy Scouts? Girl Scouts? Silly.. silly.
I read an article in the Washington Post the other day, in which the writer used all gender neutral terms.. including saying "they" instead of "he" or "she." It sounded dumb. Of course, he said that he did it because some boys used to be girls and vice versa, so he wasn't sure of the proper gender word to use. I would suggest that you use the gender word that the person wants you to use, regardless of how they look.
.....
Religion:
Martin Luther did what? (The New Yorker July 2017)
In an article about the problems Jews have had with anti-semitism over the centuries, I found the following article extract amazing:
"... Martin Luther, in Germany, urged the Protestant faithful to raze the Jews' synagogues, school, and houses to forbid their rabbis on pain of death to teach, and to burn all Jewish prayer books and Talmudic writings."
Luther was just acting like other leaders of the time. This was when Ghetto's were formed. I assume that Lutherans have now decided that anti-semitism is not a nice thing.. at least I hope so. I live at Carroll Lutheran Village, and many of our neighbors (including Elaine herself) are Lutherans. I have not heard anything bad said about Jews or even any other group of people as long as I have lived here.
.................................................
So here goes. I will try to quickly cover the three topics. (I don't have much time today.) Perhaps I will make a habit of it.
Politics:
Xi Jinping: and China's new role in the world. (The Week, November 2017)
"Xi has made references to the declining role of the U.S. and its unpredictable president. As America withdraws from the world, China is moving to fill the void. "China will be increasingly disinclined to accept international norms or rules it did not create."
I wonder why trump feels that he can get the better of Xi in a trade war. He's like a babe in the woods about to be eaten by a hungry wolf. Our soy bean farmers are already feeling the pinch of trump's stupid tariffs. trump will bankrupt us yet.. don't the republicans understand that he is a business failure and a con man? It's very clear to me and to all of our (now former) allies around the world.
,,,,,
Sex:
No longer boys and girls? (The Week September 2016)
"A New Mexico elementary school principal instructed teachers never to call students "boys and girls" under the school's new Gender Identity Procedure Directive." Teachers were supposed to use gender-neutral terms, such as "students" for the kids in her school. Somebody squealed to parents and they raised hell. The school board apologized and saved face by blaming the principal.
The Boys Club.. what would that be called? The Boy Scouts? Girl Scouts? Silly.. silly.
I read an article in the Washington Post the other day, in which the writer used all gender neutral terms.. including saying "they" instead of "he" or "she." It sounded dumb. Of course, he said that he did it because some boys used to be girls and vice versa, so he wasn't sure of the proper gender word to use. I would suggest that you use the gender word that the person wants you to use, regardless of how they look.
.....
Religion:
Martin Luther did what? (The New Yorker July 2017)
In an article about the problems Jews have had with anti-semitism over the centuries, I found the following article extract amazing:
"... Martin Luther, in Germany, urged the Protestant faithful to raze the Jews' synagogues, school, and houses to forbid their rabbis on pain of death to teach, and to burn all Jewish prayer books and Talmudic writings."
Luther was just acting like other leaders of the time. This was when Ghetto's were formed. I assume that Lutherans have now decided that anti-semitism is not a nice thing.. at least I hope so. I live at Carroll Lutheran Village, and many of our neighbors (including Elaine herself) are Lutherans. I have not heard anything bad said about Jews or even any other group of people as long as I have lived here.
.................................................
Thursday, February 7, 2019
Random Thoughts
Just for fun, I randomly selected 5 items from my Blog-preparation file. I will try to comment on each of them, so that someday in the future, my Great Great Grandsons will be able to read them and figure out what strange thoughts occupied my mind, back there in the Dark Ages.
1. A Sting: The Week reported that a Canadian motorist was ticketed for removing his seat belt so that he could reach for his wallet in order to give money to a homeless person on the side of the road. Unfortunately for the motorist, that "homeless person" was really an undercover cop and gave him a $175 fine!
Boo! Boo! Dirty pool! In Canada too? I hope that the motorist fought the fine in court and that the judge gave the fine to the nasty cop instead. IMHO.
.....
2. Neanderthals: Abigail Tucker writes that "Humans tend to dismiss Neanderthals as dimwits, yet the brains of our doomed cousins were actually larger than our own."
"... humans have barrel-shaped chests and narrow pelvises, Neanderthals had bell-shaped torsos with wide pelvises."
Miki Ben-Dor, a Tel Aviv University archaeologist thinks that the difference between the two types was caused by the food they ate. In the colder places where Neanderthals lived, there was not much fruit and vegetable matter to be eaten, so they consumed mainly animal meat, made of fat and protein. These foods may have caused their livers and kidneys to enlarge, and cause their chests and pelvises to widen to accommodate for their increased size. The skinnier, fruit eating humans were able to run rings around those fat guys.
I wonder about belly fat in women. Women usually do not have big bellies; however, in some families that is not the case. Some female French Canadian family ancestors had paunches; and some female Yankee family ancestors had paunches. Sad for my progeny who have relatives from both families. Could there be some Neanderthal blood in the family tree?
.....
3. Book to Write: I have a strong urge to write a book. I think of plots all the time. Here is one of my possible creative endeavors:
Fangs for the Memory
A hopeless romantic recalls his days in a snake-infected jungle.
.....
4. Talking to the Dead: Muhammad A. Ahmad wrote an interesting piece in the Saturday Evening Post. He suggested that with our current tech knowledge, we could create a simulation of a deceased person that we could converse with.
Not so far fetched: Way back in the 1970's, I wrote a computer program version of Eliza. The original Eliza was made to fool people into thinking "she" was really talking to you. I tried to get my Eliza to do the same. I programmed "her" to respond to questions typed on a console.. but the responses were tricky. For instance, if someone typed: "What will the weather be tomorrow?" My Eliza would respond: "What would you like the weather to be tomorrow?"
If someone typed "Who was George Washington?" My Eliza would respond: "Who do you think George Washington was?"
Get the picture?
I also had stock answers to some questions. If someone typed: "What day is it?" Eliza would refer to a built in "date app" (although computer routines were not called "apps" then) and print: "Today's date is.....(whatever it was)" So.. it's all tricks.. however, lots of people believe that simulated responses are real and their computer has passed the Turing test.
(This reminds me of the time that I was running a large scale computer test on one of the many gigantic systems at the Social Security Administration. My secretary knew where I was and called me there to let my know that analyst Cobb Addabo wanted to talk to me. I told her to send Cobb down and we could talk while my test ran.
Prior to Mr. Addabo appearing, I programmed a little routine into the console, and when he showed up I asked him if he thought that computers could think. He said that was silly. I told him that this computer was able to communicate with him... all he had to do was type in "Hello, Computer"..
Saying again that it was silly, he nonetheless typed in "Hello, Computer." I told him to then press a button, and when he did so, the computer roared for a second and a message typed out on the console: "Hi, Cobb!" Cobb almost had a heart attack.)
OK.. I'm convinced that with recorded videos of the deceased, voice recordings of the deceased, and with some tricky programming, a person may end up with simulations of the deceased. Perhaps a good sculptor could even make a nice soft robot copy of the deceased to encase that simulated material.
.....
5. A Sweet Mystery. The New York Post (not always the most reliable newspaper) recently reported that a large amount of Skittles candies fell out of a truck en route to a cattle feed station in Dodge County, Wisconsin. Skittles manufacturer, Mars Inc says they don't know anything at all about the spill or where the candy came from, and why it was going to be fed to cattle. (Does your steak taste sweeter lately?)
Perhaps the candy actually came from the planet Mars. I've always thought that humans were allowed to evolve so that at some time in the future, Martians could come down and help themselves to plenty of high protein creatures. Their planet seems rather barren. Martians are obviously living underground and eating mushrooms, so a nice supply of humans might be their means to resume getting enough nutrition to come out of the depths.
(Speaking of steak, I love filet mignon and order it at least twice a week from our dining venue. However, in honor of the Year of the Pig, instead of filet, they are substituting duck. I've never tasted duck, but one billion Chinese folks can't be wrong. They like it.)
.....
Enough of this nonsense!
.....
1. A Sting: The Week reported that a Canadian motorist was ticketed for removing his seat belt so that he could reach for his wallet in order to give money to a homeless person on the side of the road. Unfortunately for the motorist, that "homeless person" was really an undercover cop and gave him a $175 fine!
Boo! Boo! Dirty pool! In Canada too? I hope that the motorist fought the fine in court and that the judge gave the fine to the nasty cop instead. IMHO.
.....
2. Neanderthals: Abigail Tucker writes that "Humans tend to dismiss Neanderthals as dimwits, yet the brains of our doomed cousins were actually larger than our own."
"... humans have barrel-shaped chests and narrow pelvises, Neanderthals had bell-shaped torsos with wide pelvises."
Miki Ben-Dor, a Tel Aviv University archaeologist thinks that the difference between the two types was caused by the food they ate. In the colder places where Neanderthals lived, there was not much fruit and vegetable matter to be eaten, so they consumed mainly animal meat, made of fat and protein. These foods may have caused their livers and kidneys to enlarge, and cause their chests and pelvises to widen to accommodate for their increased size. The skinnier, fruit eating humans were able to run rings around those fat guys.
I wonder about belly fat in women. Women usually do not have big bellies; however, in some families that is not the case. Some female French Canadian family ancestors had paunches; and some female Yankee family ancestors had paunches. Sad for my progeny who have relatives from both families. Could there be some Neanderthal blood in the family tree?
.....
3. Book to Write: I have a strong urge to write a book. I think of plots all the time. Here is one of my possible creative endeavors:
Fangs for the Memory
A hopeless romantic recalls his days in a snake-infected jungle.
.....
4. Talking to the Dead: Muhammad A. Ahmad wrote an interesting piece in the Saturday Evening Post. He suggested that with our current tech knowledge, we could create a simulation of a deceased person that we could converse with.
Not so far fetched: Way back in the 1970's, I wrote a computer program version of Eliza. The original Eliza was made to fool people into thinking "she" was really talking to you. I tried to get my Eliza to do the same. I programmed "her" to respond to questions typed on a console.. but the responses were tricky. For instance, if someone typed: "What will the weather be tomorrow?" My Eliza would respond: "What would you like the weather to be tomorrow?"
If someone typed "Who was George Washington?" My Eliza would respond: "Who do you think George Washington was?"
Get the picture?
I also had stock answers to some questions. If someone typed: "What day is it?" Eliza would refer to a built in "date app" (although computer routines were not called "apps" then) and print: "Today's date is.....(whatever it was)" So.. it's all tricks.. however, lots of people believe that simulated responses are real and their computer has passed the Turing test.
(This reminds me of the time that I was running a large scale computer test on one of the many gigantic systems at the Social Security Administration. My secretary knew where I was and called me there to let my know that analyst Cobb Addabo wanted to talk to me. I told her to send Cobb down and we could talk while my test ran.
Prior to Mr. Addabo appearing, I programmed a little routine into the console, and when he showed up I asked him if he thought that computers could think. He said that was silly. I told him that this computer was able to communicate with him... all he had to do was type in "Hello, Computer"..
Saying again that it was silly, he nonetheless typed in "Hello, Computer." I told him to then press a button, and when he did so, the computer roared for a second and a message typed out on the console: "Hi, Cobb!" Cobb almost had a heart attack.)
OK.. I'm convinced that with recorded videos of the deceased, voice recordings of the deceased, and with some tricky programming, a person may end up with simulations of the deceased. Perhaps a good sculptor could even make a nice soft robot copy of the deceased to encase that simulated material.
.....
5. A Sweet Mystery. The New York Post (not always the most reliable newspaper) recently reported that a large amount of Skittles candies fell out of a truck en route to a cattle feed station in Dodge County, Wisconsin. Skittles manufacturer, Mars Inc says they don't know anything at all about the spill or where the candy came from, and why it was going to be fed to cattle. (Does your steak taste sweeter lately?)
Perhaps the candy actually came from the planet Mars. I've always thought that humans were allowed to evolve so that at some time in the future, Martians could come down and help themselves to plenty of high protein creatures. Their planet seems rather barren. Martians are obviously living underground and eating mushrooms, so a nice supply of humans might be their means to resume getting enough nutrition to come out of the depths.
(Speaking of steak, I love filet mignon and order it at least twice a week from our dining venue. However, in honor of the Year of the Pig, instead of filet, they are substituting duck. I've never tasted duck, but one billion Chinese folks can't be wrong. They like it.)
.....
Enough of this nonsense!
.....
Wednesday, February 6, 2019
Words
I love to learn new words, in English, Spanish, German, French, Italian, and even Hungarian. I learn most of them from the crosswords that I love to do. American crossword puzzles, for the most part, are straight-forward definition-based. Spanish and French crossword puzzles are quite easy, American types. German puzzles are quite varied and fun to do. British cryptic crossword puzzles bend your mind and, regardless of scientists saying that puzzles do not ward off Altzheimers, I think they are wrong when it comes to cryptics. Hungarian puzzles have me stumped.. because I am having a very hard time with the language. It may take me a few years to be able to do even one of them. We'll see.
When I can, I purchase German puzzles at an international delicatessen. I purchased French and Spanish puzzles on the Internet. One of my programmers at the Social Security Administration brought me Italian puzzle books when she returned after a long Government assignment in Italy. My Hungarian puzzles were brought to me by Elaine's daughter, Emily. She and her family lived in Europe for a year.
I just purchased a Great Courses seminar called "words." I'm looking forward to 24 30-minute lessons on word origins and usage. This will be lots of fun for me.
I boxed up a couple hundred Enigma's and sent them to RON, a fellow member of the National Puzzlers League (NPL). Enigma is the monthly puzzle magazine published by NPL. The copies I sent to RON are mostly pristine, because I do the puzzles on separate sheets of puzzles.
RON is a Nom. Everyone in the NPL has a nom. Mine is AHAB. (you know, New Bedford and the whale thing.)
.....
"The Romans had a word for it." Yes.. and here is a little of how they used words.
Marcus Aurelius: "Do not forget: a man needs little to lead a happy life."
Ovid: "Everywhere chance reigns, just cast out your line and where you least expect it, there waits a fish in the swirling water."
Terrance: "An easy task becomes difficult when you do it with reluctance."
,,,,,
The word IRONIC is often misused. The Readers Digest offered this information on irony.
"Strictly speaking, irony involves a reversal. A traffic cop who has 13 unpaid traffic tickets is ironic because that is not expected. Rain on a wedding day may be dampening and a tall man named Tallman might be coincidental... but it's properly ironic only if the rain falls on a sun festival or if Mr. Tallman is short."
.....
Interesting (at least to me) words and phrases as pseudonyms encountered in crossword puzzles:
Every Mother's Son ... A 1967 NYC Rock Band extracted this phrase from A Midsummer Night's Dream and used it for their name.
OUIDA ... Pseudonym of English novelist Maria Louise de la Ramee. He wrote A Dog of Flanders.
ERTE ,,, Pseudonym of Romain de Tirtoff (1892-1990) Russian born French artist and designer. He is known as the "father of art deco," and the "oriental ballet" designer.
.....
Here are a few mis-used words, as submitted to the Mensa Bulletin in September 1976.
Barnett Shaw: assiduous Big in the hips.
Phil Beggs: horary A place for ladies of the evening.
Lawrence Perkins: pismire Swampy ground used as a latrine.
midrash A skin rash over or near the belly.
.....
Here is some more inanity from 1976 Mensa:
"Tell a man that his son is a 'cheeky young pup' and he just grins."
"Tell a man that his son is an 'insolent son of a bitch,' and you have a fight on your hands."
The British call women "birds".. so:
Call one your 'pigeon' or 'turtle dove,' and get a nice kiss.
Call one a 'crow' and get a nice slap.
Tell a woman she has a well-built chassis, and get that nice kiss.
Tell a woman she's built like the back of a bus, and get that well-deserved slap.
Likewise:
''Shapely filly' vs 'a bit horsey.'
'Pretty young heifer' vs 'a young cow.'
.....
Some Interesting Signs:
"Ears pierced while you wait."
"God helps those who help themselves." vs "God help those who help themselves."
"Road wet when it rains."
.....
Fellow Mensan, Richard Lederer, is a word expert and his articles are very well written. I will try to steal some examples in the future for your enjoyment.
.....
When I can, I purchase German puzzles at an international delicatessen. I purchased French and Spanish puzzles on the Internet. One of my programmers at the Social Security Administration brought me Italian puzzle books when she returned after a long Government assignment in Italy. My Hungarian puzzles were brought to me by Elaine's daughter, Emily. She and her family lived in Europe for a year.
I just purchased a Great Courses seminar called "words." I'm looking forward to 24 30-minute lessons on word origins and usage. This will be lots of fun for me.
I boxed up a couple hundred Enigma's and sent them to RON, a fellow member of the National Puzzlers League (NPL). Enigma is the monthly puzzle magazine published by NPL. The copies I sent to RON are mostly pristine, because I do the puzzles on separate sheets of puzzles.
RON is a Nom. Everyone in the NPL has a nom. Mine is AHAB. (you know, New Bedford and the whale thing.)
.....
"The Romans had a word for it." Yes.. and here is a little of how they used words.
Marcus Aurelius: "Do not forget: a man needs little to lead a happy life."
Ovid: "Everywhere chance reigns, just cast out your line and where you least expect it, there waits a fish in the swirling water."
Terrance: "An easy task becomes difficult when you do it with reluctance."
,,,,,
The word IRONIC is often misused. The Readers Digest offered this information on irony.
"Strictly speaking, irony involves a reversal. A traffic cop who has 13 unpaid traffic tickets is ironic because that is not expected. Rain on a wedding day may be dampening and a tall man named Tallman might be coincidental... but it's properly ironic only if the rain falls on a sun festival or if Mr. Tallman is short."
.....
Interesting (at least to me) words and phrases as pseudonyms encountered in crossword puzzles:
Every Mother's Son ... A 1967 NYC Rock Band extracted this phrase from A Midsummer Night's Dream and used it for their name.
OUIDA ... Pseudonym of English novelist Maria Louise de la Ramee. He wrote A Dog of Flanders.
ERTE ,,, Pseudonym of Romain de Tirtoff (1892-1990) Russian born French artist and designer. He is known as the "father of art deco," and the "oriental ballet" designer.
.....
Here are a few mis-used words, as submitted to the Mensa Bulletin in September 1976.
Barnett Shaw: assiduous Big in the hips.
Phil Beggs: horary A place for ladies of the evening.
Lawrence Perkins: pismire Swampy ground used as a latrine.
midrash A skin rash over or near the belly.
.....
Here is some more inanity from 1976 Mensa:
"Tell a man that his son is a 'cheeky young pup' and he just grins."
"Tell a man that his son is an 'insolent son of a bitch,' and you have a fight on your hands."
The British call women "birds".. so:
Call one your 'pigeon' or 'turtle dove,' and get a nice kiss.
Call one a 'crow' and get a nice slap.
Tell a woman she has a well-built chassis, and get that nice kiss.
Tell a woman she's built like the back of a bus, and get that well-deserved slap.
Likewise:
''Shapely filly' vs 'a bit horsey.'
'Pretty young heifer' vs 'a young cow.'
.....
Some Interesting Signs:
"Ears pierced while you wait."
"God helps those who help themselves." vs "God help those who help themselves."
"Road wet when it rains."
.....
Fellow Mensan, Richard Lederer, is a word expert and his articles are very well written. I will try to steal some examples in the future for your enjoyment.
.....
Saturday, January 26, 2019
The Gelatinous Wizard of US
The score is now: Pelosi 2: trump 0
Our glorious leader is now being called "Caveman" for giving in twice to Nancy Pelosi. At last, I hope, he has met his match. After regaling us with new "fake news" about the Southern border of the U.S., he allowed the Government to open again... but with the threat to throw another tantrum if money isn't allocated for his "wall" by February 15th.
His bosom buddy, Roger Stone has at last been arrested. What a sweetheart! I'm told that he has a picture of Richard Nixon tatooed onto his neck. I did see his office with its picture of Nixon on display. He also gave the Nixon victory salute to the crowds outside of the arraignment center who were shouting "Lock him up!" He was released on $250,000 bail, which he can probably afford easily.
Roger said that he would never be a "rat" for trump.. but these sleezebags often "flip" when they realize that there is a chance that their protector might be in jail too and not able to give them a pardon.
Gene Weingarten wrote a Washington Post article about his "no-effort, magic, no-diet diet." I liked the humorous article and recommend it to you. Meanwhile, let me pluck out of his article a line related to his special diet, yet, which could also be related to a famous person. You guess who.
"... Kiss goodbye that huge gelatinous tub of lard whose image has haunted you day and night."
I love the Nation magazine. I read it all, cover to cover, and work the cryptic puzzle in each issue. One of the highlights of the magazine is its poems by Calvin Trillin. I hope he will not mind me writing a copy of his latest wonderful poem.
If he can't get the wherewithal
To build at once his precious wall..
A wall that's thick, a wall that's tall,
The strongest, toughest wall of all
Then to the floor he'll surely fall,
And pound his little fists and bawl."
Dana Milbank also had a great article in Sunday's Washington Post, with the title: What If Trump Was Comic Relief?
Some of his misspellings and made up facts are already kind of funny, and the way he runs the White House is hilarious. So, the idea is to beat him at his own bumbling game and have some fun doing so. How about whoopie cushions in the oval office? Pepper in his french fries? Short sheets in the Lincoln bedroom?
Seriously though.. this is a tough time for the U.S. with this incompetent person in charge. Nobody knows what he is going to do or say next. It's time for a new deal, and I agree with most of Oregon Senator Jeff Merkley's "Blueprint for a 'We The People' Democracy."
o Pass a constitutional amendment to overturn the Supreme Court's Citizens United ruling.
o End partisan gerrymandering.
o Abolish the Electoral College.
o Provide a pathway for voting representation in Congress for U.S citizens of DC and Puerto Rico.
o Reinstate the full protections of the Voting Rights Act:
Allow early voting
End purges of voter lists
Re-enfranchise ex felons
Allow same-day voter registration
Establish Nation-wide automatic voter registration.
Jeff... You have my vote!
Our glorious leader is now being called "Caveman" for giving in twice to Nancy Pelosi. At last, I hope, he has met his match. After regaling us with new "fake news" about the Southern border of the U.S., he allowed the Government to open again... but with the threat to throw another tantrum if money isn't allocated for his "wall" by February 15th.
His bosom buddy, Roger Stone has at last been arrested. What a sweetheart! I'm told that he has a picture of Richard Nixon tatooed onto his neck. I did see his office with its picture of Nixon on display. He also gave the Nixon victory salute to the crowds outside of the arraignment center who were shouting "Lock him up!" He was released on $250,000 bail, which he can probably afford easily.
Roger said that he would never be a "rat" for trump.. but these sleezebags often "flip" when they realize that there is a chance that their protector might be in jail too and not able to give them a pardon.
Gene Weingarten wrote a Washington Post article about his "no-effort, magic, no-diet diet." I liked the humorous article and recommend it to you. Meanwhile, let me pluck out of his article a line related to his special diet, yet, which could also be related to a famous person. You guess who.
"... Kiss goodbye that huge gelatinous tub of lard whose image has haunted you day and night."
I love the Nation magazine. I read it all, cover to cover, and work the cryptic puzzle in each issue. One of the highlights of the magazine is its poems by Calvin Trillin. I hope he will not mind me writing a copy of his latest wonderful poem.
If he can't get the wherewithal
To build at once his precious wall..
A wall that's thick, a wall that's tall,
The strongest, toughest wall of all
Then to the floor he'll surely fall,
And pound his little fists and bawl."
Dana Milbank also had a great article in Sunday's Washington Post, with the title: What If Trump Was Comic Relief?
Some of his misspellings and made up facts are already kind of funny, and the way he runs the White House is hilarious. So, the idea is to beat him at his own bumbling game and have some fun doing so. How about whoopie cushions in the oval office? Pepper in his french fries? Short sheets in the Lincoln bedroom?
Seriously though.. this is a tough time for the U.S. with this incompetent person in charge. Nobody knows what he is going to do or say next. It's time for a new deal, and I agree with most of Oregon Senator Jeff Merkley's "Blueprint for a 'We The People' Democracy."
o Pass a constitutional amendment to overturn the Supreme Court's Citizens United ruling.
o End partisan gerrymandering.
o Abolish the Electoral College.
o Provide a pathway for voting representation in Congress for U.S citizens of DC and Puerto Rico.
o Reinstate the full protections of the Voting Rights Act:
Allow early voting
End purges of voter lists
Re-enfranchise ex felons
Allow same-day voter registration
Establish Nation-wide automatic voter registration.
Jeff... You have my vote!
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