Nice sunny day again... more below for this day .
This will be a summary of the highpoints of Joe Vaughan activity for May 2016. I know that you have been waiting anxiously for this report, so here it is.
May 1st... May Day... Elaine and I danced around our May Pole in the afternoon. Sunday morning is always spent by devouring all of the New York Times puzzles.
May 2nd.. A batch (actually 130) "Joe Vaughan Fan Club" pens showed up. In all of the colors of the rainbow.
May 4th.. In the morning I was one of only two people to show up for our Retired Federal Employees Board meeting, so we got a lot done.
In the afternoon, I got a long needle stuck in my right eye by Doctor Goldman. Yes, it hurt.
May 5th.. Elaine and I celebrated Cinco de Mayo by eating tacos..
May 6th.. Elaine and I got soaking wet visiting the Montessori School that her granddaughter, Lily, and grandson, Luca, attend. The school fed us lots of junk food and coffee, and the kids gave us flowers in clay pots to take home. Very nice, except that Elaine got sick from the soaking..
May 8th.. Mothers' Day. Elaine got nice flowers from her daughter and her family and also from my Christopher and Kathleen. All I sprung for was a card and a promise.
May 9th.. Time to buy beer.
May 11.. Our housecleaner lady showed up and scrubbed and dusted. She vacuumed a couple of cat's worth of fur from our living room rug.
May 12.. Morning.. lots of fun at the AARP Board Meeting.
Afternoon.. a friend from the Maryland States Attorney's office talked to us Retired Federal persons about scams, and how to avoid them.
May 13.. I thought about my half-brother Joe, who lives in Ohio. Today was his birthday.
(Friday the 13th?)
May 17.. Our friendly hairdresser tuned Elaine's hair and sliced a lot of mine off. It's funny, I didn't realize it, but apparently someone had dropped white hair all over the floor under where I was sitting.
(Joke time: Have you heard about the big accident on Route 32? One of those trucks that picks up the shorn hair from beauty shops overturned... and police are still combing the area.)
May 18.. Elaine and I went to the Olive Grove Restaurant for the Social Security Alumni annual luncheon. We were directed to the back of the place.. but none of the attendees looked familiar except for Stan W. I asked him why he was there, and he said it was for the SS Bowling League luncheon. He asked why we were there, since the SSAA luncheon was on May 19th. OOPS!
Well, I thanked Stan and gave him some "Joe Vaughan Fan Club" pens. Elaine and I decided to stay and eat as long as we were there. However, later, Elaine's wheelchair got stuck in the ladies' room, and the management had to keep the women out of the room until I could get her free. We decided then that she would not want to get into that situation again, and would stay home tomorrow.
May 19th.. At ten AM, I conducted our monthly TRIAD meeting. Nice attendance. The Westminster Police sent another guy to take Keith B's place. Keith just retired. More about this guy in the future... very interesting person.
At eleven AM, I raced to the Olive Grove Restaurant again and enjoyed the SSAA luncheon. An author spoke to us.. and I bought one of her books. I also suggested that she write a story about the famous museum heist in Boston. (You know... the one where Whitey Bolger might have been involved.) She said she might do that.
I gave out a lot of "Joe Vaughan Fan Club" pens.
May 20.. this was Elaine's daughter, Emily's 40th birthday.
May 21.. We attended Emily's surprise Birthday Party in Aberdeen. We relied on Internet directions and got hopelessly lost. Finally we got there when the party was almost over... but we still had a good time.
May 23.. Our cleaning person, Dinah, showed up again and scrubbed the kitchen floor and vacuumed the rugs. Yes, once more, she vacuumed up two or more cat's worth of fur. No wonder our allergies bug us. How can such a small cat have so much fur to shed?
May 24.. Elaine visited Karen, her nurse practitioner. It seems as though every other day we are going to doctors.
May 25.. 11 am... I went to my "Train the Brain" class. Elaine wants to know when my brain will be completely trained.
12 noon.. I went to the CLV Volunteer Appreciation Luncheon. I received a "silver" award and a letter from President Obama for having more that 100 hours of volunteer service in some period of time. Also, the servers forgot me when they put out the dishes of food, so when I finally got served everybody else was finished. I had to leave before they dished out the yummy strawberry shortcakes.
2:50 pm.. I took Elaine to the eye doctors for an examination. I hope she doesn't get glasses that are too good.. because she may not want to keep me if she finds out what an ugly dude I am.
May 30.. Memorial Day.. I cooked ribs... turned out great.
May 31st.. (today) I planted the two rolls of tomato seeds in too large yellow pots on the deck. If all goes well, we should have lots of grape tomatoes by the end of July.
I also put up the two-way mirror seed feeder on one of the windows. I'm hoping that a squirrel or a big old crow will not knock it down and break it. One of the hazards of bird feeding.
Our chickadee family is still peeping a lot in their hanging birdhouse. The mama and papa continually bring bugs and worms to the wide open beaks of their little children. I wonder how the babies will get out of the house when they are supposed to... do they suddenly fly? Time will tell.
Tonight, we spent an enjoyable supper with our friend, Rosemarie. Scallops and asparagus. Lousy beer though. They ran out of "Flying Dog."
.................................................................................
Now, I know... this has probably been a boring time, reading this summary, but I wanted to try it.. I like to experiment with the writing of different types of information. It's how I get my exercise.
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Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Monday, May 30, 2016
Arlington Cemetery; President Obama; Rutgers; Trump; Slippers; Camera; Mark Twain; Portuguese Food; Joke for AARP
Nice sunny Memorial Day.. in the 80's but not too muggy.
I listened to a bit of the ceremonies at Arlington Cemetery. Nice music and words.
Later, I listened to President Obama's speech at Rutgers University's graduation ceremony. Man, can that man talk! One of the greatest speeches I have ever heard. He made a few "digs" at Donald Trump that were met with thunderous applause. He made many important points, but the main one that I hope his young audience takes action on was that the graduates must become involved with what is going on in the nation and world, and vote!
Happy Feet
I sent away for Nufoot slippers for me and Elaine. The ones I ordered are black and look like ballet slippers. When I put mine on, I immediately did a plie..
New Camera
I bought a cheap new digital camera yesterday. I wanted something that I could just "point and shoot." Nothing complicated like my prior cameras. The only problem I have is that my SD cards don't fit. I want to use the camera to resume my picture taking duties at AARP meetings, and also use it to "photo scan" pictures to keep. At least until I can get my combo printer to scan and my NEAT system scanner to work again.
Twain Wisdom
Mark Twain said: "If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you do read the newspaper, you're misinformed."
A comer
Hannah Goldfield says (In the New Yorker) that at a Portuguese restaurant on Sixth Avenue in New York City, one can get:
o "Iridescent grilled sardines, ribboned in vinegary peppers."
o "Earthy mouthfuls of warm, bright fava beans tossed with craggy morels and rich crumbles of crimson-tinged blood sausage."
o "Razor clams and pickled half-moon cucumber salad."
o "Deep fried salt-cod croquettes."
(Is your mouth watering yet? Mine is.)
The restaurant's name is Lupulo, which means "hops," and there are a dozen beers on tap... and I'm assuming one of those brands is Sagres, a Portuguese-brewed beer I like to have when I visit back in New Bedford.
But watchit, when you eat at Lupulo, make sure you understand that if you order the ruby-red prawns known as carabineros, that they are flown in from Portugual and will cost you $13 each.
When I eat at one of New Bedford's Portuguese Restaurants, I eschew the expensive stuff and stick with those wonderful Portuguese rolls slathered with butter, a nice bowl of kale soup, teamed with a large glass of Madiera wine, which I use to toast my genius half-brother Joe, who is of Portuguese descent.
The Push
This classic old joke was published in the Funny Times, and was presented by Phil Proctor. I plan to present it myself to my fellow AARP members next week: (I quote verbatim, I hope)
A man and his wife were awakened at 3 AM by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asks his wife, "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him"?" she asks. "NO, I did not; it is 3 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well , you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people, too."
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing." replies the drunk.
...................................................................................................................................
I listened to a bit of the ceremonies at Arlington Cemetery. Nice music and words.
Later, I listened to President Obama's speech at Rutgers University's graduation ceremony. Man, can that man talk! One of the greatest speeches I have ever heard. He made a few "digs" at Donald Trump that were met with thunderous applause. He made many important points, but the main one that I hope his young audience takes action on was that the graduates must become involved with what is going on in the nation and world, and vote!
Happy Feet
I sent away for Nufoot slippers for me and Elaine. The ones I ordered are black and look like ballet slippers. When I put mine on, I immediately did a plie..
New Camera
I bought a cheap new digital camera yesterday. I wanted something that I could just "point and shoot." Nothing complicated like my prior cameras. The only problem I have is that my SD cards don't fit. I want to use the camera to resume my picture taking duties at AARP meetings, and also use it to "photo scan" pictures to keep. At least until I can get my combo printer to scan and my NEAT system scanner to work again.
Twain Wisdom
Mark Twain said: "If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you do read the newspaper, you're misinformed."
A comer
Hannah Goldfield says (In the New Yorker) that at a Portuguese restaurant on Sixth Avenue in New York City, one can get:
o "Iridescent grilled sardines, ribboned in vinegary peppers."
o "Earthy mouthfuls of warm, bright fava beans tossed with craggy morels and rich crumbles of crimson-tinged blood sausage."
o "Razor clams and pickled half-moon cucumber salad."
o "Deep fried salt-cod croquettes."
(Is your mouth watering yet? Mine is.)
The restaurant's name is Lupulo, which means "hops," and there are a dozen beers on tap... and I'm assuming one of those brands is Sagres, a Portuguese-brewed beer I like to have when I visit back in New Bedford.
But watchit, when you eat at Lupulo, make sure you understand that if you order the ruby-red prawns known as carabineros, that they are flown in from Portugual and will cost you $13 each.
When I eat at one of New Bedford's Portuguese Restaurants, I eschew the expensive stuff and stick with those wonderful Portuguese rolls slathered with butter, a nice bowl of kale soup, teamed with a large glass of Madiera wine, which I use to toast my genius half-brother Joe, who is of Portuguese descent.
The Push
This classic old joke was published in the Funny Times, and was presented by Phil Proctor. I plan to present it myself to my fellow AARP members next week: (I quote verbatim, I hope)
A man and his wife were awakened at 3 AM by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asks his wife, "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him"?" she asks. "NO, I did not; it is 3 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well , you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people, too."
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing." replies the drunk.
...................................................................................................................................
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Tomatos; Radishes; Darwin Awards for 2015; The Funny Times
Warmish sunny day. Our tomato plants are growing well. Radishes are going to seed.. however, we still continue to get a few little bites. My onion sets are doing well... I have another 100 to plant soon. I also have a "radish strip" which I will plant, even though it probably is too hot already.
I sent for two tomato "clusters" that I have to plant soon. And... I have lots of old flower seeds I want to get out. And I have to continue cleaning the deck railings. And I have to get the old containers of dirt off the deck. And I have to get rid of the old table and umbrella. And I have to buy a new set. And I have to scrub the deck to get rid of mold. And... and... and... so much to do... luckily, I have a lot of time now that I have dropped ten of my volunteer activities. Yeah, Joe.. yeah.
Darwin Awards
Phil Proctor, in The Funny Times in August, listed the Darwin Awards for 2015. In case you have forgotten, these awards are given to dumb "losers"... Lloyd Hess, who worked with me at Social Security kept me informed of these... and he had his own list. (In his list, everyone died in their endeavors.) Anyway... here are the 2015 "loser/winners" if you haven't heard:
6th: David H. removed a pad from a tower. The pad was placed on the tower to protect skiers from hitting the towers. Ole Dave used the pad to ski down the hill... guess what, he hit the tower which no longer had a pad... and you guessed it, Dave bit the snowy dust.
5th: Robert P. stuck a hot dog into his mouth and left the market without paying. While thinking how clever he was at bilking the owner, he fell over and was choked to death by the six-inch wiener lodged in his throat.
4th: Spanish poacher Marino M. got off a great shot at the stag that was poised above him on an overhang. As he was congratulating himself, the dead stag fell off the ledge and squashed him.
3rd: Jerry S. thought of a new prank to play to keep up his reputation as the "life of the party." He bit down on a blasting cap, triggering an explosion that made him the "deceased of the party."
2nd: Tony R was eager to be initiated into the Mountain Men Anonymous rafting club. A friend was tasked with shooting a beer can off his head with an arrow. However, the arrow went, instead, through Tony's right eye and part of his brain. Tony, although embarrassed, survived to tell the tale.
1st: This is too complicated for me to summarize, instead, let me (mis) quote Phil Proctor: "John P. and his friend Sal H., decided to attend a local Metallica concert. Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them, they thought it would be easy to 'hop' over the nine-foot fence and sneak into the show. Unfortunately, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side.
Having heaved himself over, John found himself crashing through a tree in a fall abruptly broken (along with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts, and figuring the bushes below would break his fall, he used his pocket knife to cut away his shorts.
Finally free, John crashed into the holly bushes, which scratched his whole body, and without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum while his pocketknife penetrated his leg.
Sal then threw him a rope and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck, but in his drunken haste, he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence, which landed on John and killed. him."
Now... go and sin no more, folks. Please look for Phil Proctor's 2016 summary of the Darwin Awards in the August 2016 Funny Times.
........................................................................................................................
I sent for two tomato "clusters" that I have to plant soon. And... I have lots of old flower seeds I want to get out. And I have to continue cleaning the deck railings. And I have to get the old containers of dirt off the deck. And I have to get rid of the old table and umbrella. And I have to buy a new set. And I have to scrub the deck to get rid of mold. And... and... and... so much to do... luckily, I have a lot of time now that I have dropped ten of my volunteer activities. Yeah, Joe.. yeah.
Darwin Awards
Phil Proctor, in The Funny Times in August, listed the Darwin Awards for 2015. In case you have forgotten, these awards are given to dumb "losers"... Lloyd Hess, who worked with me at Social Security kept me informed of these... and he had his own list. (In his list, everyone died in their endeavors.) Anyway... here are the 2015 "loser/winners" if you haven't heard:
6th: David H. removed a pad from a tower. The pad was placed on the tower to protect skiers from hitting the towers. Ole Dave used the pad to ski down the hill... guess what, he hit the tower which no longer had a pad... and you guessed it, Dave bit the snowy dust.
5th: Robert P. stuck a hot dog into his mouth and left the market without paying. While thinking how clever he was at bilking the owner, he fell over and was choked to death by the six-inch wiener lodged in his throat.
4th: Spanish poacher Marino M. got off a great shot at the stag that was poised above him on an overhang. As he was congratulating himself, the dead stag fell off the ledge and squashed him.
3rd: Jerry S. thought of a new prank to play to keep up his reputation as the "life of the party." He bit down on a blasting cap, triggering an explosion that made him the "deceased of the party."
2nd: Tony R was eager to be initiated into the Mountain Men Anonymous rafting club. A friend was tasked with shooting a beer can off his head with an arrow. However, the arrow went, instead, through Tony's right eye and part of his brain. Tony, although embarrassed, survived to tell the tale.
1st: This is too complicated for me to summarize, instead, let me (mis) quote Phil Proctor: "John P. and his friend Sal H., decided to attend a local Metallica concert. Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them, they thought it would be easy to 'hop' over the nine-foot fence and sneak into the show. Unfortunately, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side.
Having heaved himself over, John found himself crashing through a tree in a fall abruptly broken (along with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts, and figuring the bushes below would break his fall, he used his pocket knife to cut away his shorts.
Finally free, John crashed into the holly bushes, which scratched his whole body, and without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum while his pocketknife penetrated his leg.
Sal then threw him a rope and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck, but in his drunken haste, he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence, which landed on John and killed. him."
Now... go and sin no more, folks. Please look for Phil Proctor's 2016 summary of the Darwin Awards in the August 2016 Funny Times.
........................................................................................................................
Saturday, May 28, 2016
Scarecrow; OZ; Blogs; Crime Pays; Sleep Time: Standup Comedy Routine
Hot and sunny. Elaine had a tough night with the heat and asked me to put the air conditioner on this morning. So... good bye fresh air.
Music in my head: Even though I said I would quit writing about this.. I wanted to say that all day I have been playing "If I only had a brain" from the Wizard of OZ movie. Why, I wonder.
BLOGS
I was thinking today that after I get all my paperwork sorted out and boxes rearranged, I might start a new Blog setup. As follows:
Monday: Prepop Sez
Tuesday: Jokes
Wednesday: Social Security
Thursday: TRIAD
Friday: Joe Reads the News
These Blogs are still alive, I just haven't fed some of them any meat for a while. I like writing something every day and this way I can specialize a bit. We'll see.
Crime Does Pay, at least in Richmond, California
The Funny Times reports that officials in Richmond learned that most of the city's crime was committed by the same 17 people, they decided to pay those clowns to behave themselves. This costs about $1.2 million a year, but it must be worth it because Richmond is no longer considered one of the most dangerous towns in America and its murder rate has fallen from a high of 62 to a low of 11 last year.
I wonder if any other cities have thought about trying this. Another way, and a bit cheaper, would be to hire a hitman to eliminate these 17 people completely. That might be an action that a President Trump might take... in my humble opinion.
Sleepy Time
That slick magazine beloved by the young, restless and dangerous among us, The Red Bulletin, reports that a study has discovered that people who sleep between 6.5 and 7.5 hours per night live longer than those who sleep for 8.
Using a Fitbit now, one can analyze one's sleep pattern and make adjustments if necessary and possible.
Tidbits from my Standup Comedy Routine... several years ago.
Wife: "You never notice what I wear."
Husb: "That's untrue, try me."
...The next night, the wife asks:
"What am I wearing that's different?"
Husb: "New stockings? (no) New hat? (no)
I give up, what is it?"
Wife: "I'm wearing a gas mask."
Wife: "Honey, I can't get the car started. I think it's flooded."
Husb: "Where is it?"
Wife: "In the swimming pool."
A woman goes to her psychiatrist and says: "Doctor, I want to talk to you about my husband. He thinks he's a refrigerator."
"That's not so bad," says the Doctor, "it's rather a harmless problem."
"Well, maybe," replies the lady. "But he sleeps with his mouth open and the light keeps me awake."
Q. How many wives can an American man have?
A. 8
..... huh? yes, 4 richer, 4 poorer
Did you wake up grumpy today?
No, I let her sleep.
A man who thinks he is more intelligent than his wife, is married to a very smart woman.
My friend, Sid Simon says: "I've been thinking about the 'hereafter' a lot lately. Every time I go into a room, I say to myself: 'What did I come in here after?'"
Do you have a good memory for faces?
I hope so, because there are no mirrors in the rest rooms.
I gave my girl friend $5000 to get plastic surgery. Now I don't know what she looks like and I can't get my money back.
What'll you have, sir?
A bowl of chili and a few kind words.
Here's the chili.
How about the kind words?
Don't eat the chili.
....When I told these jokes at a Toastmasters meeting, the two ladies there took great offence and accused me of disparaging women. I apologized... for what pray tell? I did not tell them that my wife had given me the jokes about women, and really liked my routine. Oh well.. uneasy wears the crown... or something like that.
.....................................................................................................................................
Music in my head: Even though I said I would quit writing about this.. I wanted to say that all day I have been playing "If I only had a brain" from the Wizard of OZ movie. Why, I wonder.
BLOGS
I was thinking today that after I get all my paperwork sorted out and boxes rearranged, I might start a new Blog setup. As follows:
Monday: Prepop Sez
Tuesday: Jokes
Wednesday: Social Security
Thursday: TRIAD
Friday: Joe Reads the News
Crime Does Pay, at least in Richmond, California
The Funny Times reports that officials in Richmond learned that most of the city's crime was committed by the same 17 people, they decided to pay those clowns to behave themselves. This costs about $1.2 million a year, but it must be worth it because Richmond is no longer considered one of the most dangerous towns in America and its murder rate has fallen from a high of 62 to a low of 11 last year.
I wonder if any other cities have thought about trying this. Another way, and a bit cheaper, would be to hire a hitman to eliminate these 17 people completely. That might be an action that a President Trump might take... in my humble opinion.
Sleepy Time
That slick magazine beloved by the young, restless and dangerous among us, The Red Bulletin, reports that a study has discovered that people who sleep between 6.5 and 7.5 hours per night live longer than those who sleep for 8.
Using a Fitbit now, one can analyze one's sleep pattern and make adjustments if necessary and possible.
Tidbits from my Standup Comedy Routine... several years ago.
Wife: "You never notice what I wear."
Husb: "That's untrue, try me."
...The next night, the wife asks:
"What am I wearing that's different?"
Husb: "New stockings? (no) New hat? (no)
I give up, what is it?"
Wife: "I'm wearing a gas mask."
Wife: "Honey, I can't get the car started. I think it's flooded."
Husb: "Where is it?"
Wife: "In the swimming pool."
A woman goes to her psychiatrist and says: "Doctor, I want to talk to you about my husband. He thinks he's a refrigerator."
"That's not so bad," says the Doctor, "it's rather a harmless problem."
"Well, maybe," replies the lady. "But he sleeps with his mouth open and the light keeps me awake."
Q. How many wives can an American man have?
A. 8
..... huh? yes, 4 richer, 4 poorer
Did you wake up grumpy today?
No, I let her sleep.
A man who thinks he is more intelligent than his wife, is married to a very smart woman.
My friend, Sid Simon says: "I've been thinking about the 'hereafter' a lot lately. Every time I go into a room, I say to myself: 'What did I come in here after?'"
I hope so, because there are no mirrors in the rest rooms.
I gave my girl friend $5000 to get plastic surgery. Now I don't know what she looks like and I can't get my money back.
What'll you have, sir?
A bowl of chili and a few kind words.
Here's the chili.
How about the kind words?
Don't eat the chili.
....When I told these jokes at a Toastmasters meeting, the two ladies there took great offence and accused me of disparaging women. I apologized... for what pray tell? I did not tell them that my wife had given me the jokes about women, and really liked my routine. Oh well.. uneasy wears the crown... or something like that.
.....................................................................................................................................
Friday, May 27, 2016
Twins; Wells Fargo; Computer Fun; Debit Cards; Pretty Girls Looking at Me
Hot and a little muggy today.. a sunny 90 degrees again.. with thunderstorms looming over the horizon.
I did the weekly shopping at Giant today and had a very emotional moment. A young father was pushing his two little twin daughters in one of those buggies... one of the girls had on a little green dress with polka dots, the other had on a little purple dress with polka dots. I hate to use the word "cute"... but they were so cute that I couldn't take my eyes off them. They kept jumping out of the cart and touching things and keeping their father busy corralling them.
I looked at them, and I saw my daughters Elizabeth and Diane when they were about that age, and I almost broke up. Why do such beautiful creatures have to grow up? (Although my daughters are still young and beautiful.) My late wife used to dress them alike and everyone would ask if they were twins.
I told this young man, "You sure are a lucky man!" And he beamed and said, "Thank You!" He's so proud of those little girls who have only recently begun to walk and explore the world... just as I was, and still am. I am a little luckier than he though, because I also have a fantastic and handsome son.
Bank Blues
Some time ago, my bank statements from Welles Fargo went online. I want them to be in paper because it is easier for me to control... besides, to get the online statements I would need login information and a password. A few months ago, I went into the bank branch and asked them to resume the paper statements. It never happened. Now, I have a problem with a loss of a lot of money from that account (I think) but I need the statements to figure out where the problem is.
Don't get me wrong, I know how to retrieve online information ... but, to do that I need a password. So, I went online to WF and told them I needed a password... no way... because I don't know the PIN for my Debit Card. What debit card? I neither have nor want a debit card. So... I can't get a password online... instead, I have to use their 800 number.
1. Name, SSN, tel number to a clerk. Can't help me. Transferred:
2. Name, SSN, tel number to another clerk. Can't help me. Transferred.
3. Name, SSN, tel number to another clerk and then her supervisor... Name, SSN, tel number.
Aha.. someone who can help me... but only if I give her the PIN for my debit card.
What debit card? OK then, do I have a credit card? I give her the numbers on my VISA card.
OK... what do you want me to do? Give me a password so I can access the online statements that I asked to have mailed to me.
OK.. I have a temporary password that you can use.. I will text it to you.
NO... I do not accept texts.. they cost me $1 apiece.
OK.. can you get on your computer and key it in within the next ten minutes.
I'll try... so I hurry downstairs to my computer and just make it in time. Now, I'm in and can change the temporary password to a new one. I key my new password in.
It tells me that it duplicates one that it already has for me. Huh? Where did that come from?
I key in another password that is accepted... so.. now I can go to my email and access the latest online statements... or so I think.
I get on and try to get to a statement... it says I can... but I can't, because before it will let me see a statement, I must tell them if I want my future statements online or mail. I check mail. It advises me that I had already made that decision and links me back to the question again. I am obviously caught in a computer loop... a bug.. as far as I can see. I am in limbo now. I try again and again. Finally, in frustration, I find a way to send them a nasty email message. I probably shouldn't do that.. but dammit this is a frustrating setup!
Another Aging With a Smile Joke
Pretty Girl, Walk a Little Slower when You Walk by Me....
When I was a teenager and pretty girl looked at me, I though I was hot stuff.
When I was middle-aged and a pretty girl looked at me, I thought, "Not bad for a guy my age."
Now, when a pretty girl looks at me, I think I better make sure my fly is zipped.
..................................................................................................................
I did the weekly shopping at Giant today and had a very emotional moment. A young father was pushing his two little twin daughters in one of those buggies... one of the girls had on a little green dress with polka dots, the other had on a little purple dress with polka dots. I hate to use the word "cute"... but they were so cute that I couldn't take my eyes off them. They kept jumping out of the cart and touching things and keeping their father busy corralling them.
I looked at them, and I saw my daughters Elizabeth and Diane when they were about that age, and I almost broke up. Why do such beautiful creatures have to grow up? (Although my daughters are still young and beautiful.) My late wife used to dress them alike and everyone would ask if they were twins.
I told this young man, "You sure are a lucky man!" And he beamed and said, "Thank You!" He's so proud of those little girls who have only recently begun to walk and explore the world... just as I was, and still am. I am a little luckier than he though, because I also have a fantastic and handsome son.
Bank Blues
Some time ago, my bank statements from Welles Fargo went online. I want them to be in paper because it is easier for me to control... besides, to get the online statements I would need login information and a password. A few months ago, I went into the bank branch and asked them to resume the paper statements. It never happened. Now, I have a problem with a loss of a lot of money from that account (I think) but I need the statements to figure out where the problem is.
Don't get me wrong, I know how to retrieve online information ... but, to do that I need a password. So, I went online to WF and told them I needed a password... no way... because I don't know the PIN for my Debit Card. What debit card? I neither have nor want a debit card. So... I can't get a password online... instead, I have to use their 800 number.
1. Name, SSN, tel number to a clerk. Can't help me. Transferred:
2. Name, SSN, tel number to another clerk. Can't help me. Transferred.
3. Name, SSN, tel number to another clerk and then her supervisor... Name, SSN, tel number.
Aha.. someone who can help me... but only if I give her the PIN for my debit card.
What debit card? OK then, do I have a credit card? I give her the numbers on my VISA card.
OK... what do you want me to do? Give me a password so I can access the online statements that I asked to have mailed to me.
OK.. I have a temporary password that you can use.. I will text it to you.
NO... I do not accept texts.. they cost me $1 apiece.
OK.. can you get on your computer and key it in within the next ten minutes.
I'll try... so I hurry downstairs to my computer and just make it in time. Now, I'm in and can change the temporary password to a new one. I key my new password in.
It tells me that it duplicates one that it already has for me. Huh? Where did that come from?
I key in another password that is accepted... so.. now I can go to my email and access the latest online statements... or so I think.
I get on and try to get to a statement... it says I can... but I can't, because before it will let me see a statement, I must tell them if I want my future statements online or mail. I check mail. It advises me that I had already made that decision and links me back to the question again. I am obviously caught in a computer loop... a bug.. as far as I can see. I am in limbo now. I try again and again. Finally, in frustration, I find a way to send them a nasty email message. I probably shouldn't do that.. but dammit this is a frustrating setup!
Another Aging With a Smile Joke
Pretty Girl, Walk a Little Slower when You Walk by Me....
When I was a teenager and pretty girl looked at me, I though I was hot stuff.
When I was middle-aged and a pretty girl looked at me, I thought, "Not bad for a guy my age."
Now, when a pretty girl looks at me, I think I better make sure my fly is zipped.
..................................................................................................................
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Shopping Dreams; Aging TV; Brat; Heavenly Voice; George Carlin; Stuff; Ape and Speech; Barber Joke; Toastmasters Tip; Save Energy; Big Arnie; Cary Grant ; Ocean City Fun
Yes... Summer is here. 90 degrees and sunny today... at least it wasn't very muggy.
Music in my head today..... I'm going to give this up.. every day music plays in my head... but sometimes it is a tune from somewhere I can't recognize. So... play on!
Let's continue with some old stuff:
Dream, when You're Feeling Blue... Dream, that's the Thing to do.....
On New Years Eve in 2013, I had two very vivid dreams:
o I was shopping at a Giant Super Market, when a guy came up next to me pushing a cart and left it for a few minutes.... when he came back to get the cart, it was filled with "reduced goods".. not paying attention, he pushed it to the checkout, where he paid $70 for stuff he didn't pick out. Meanwhile, I was in back of him, and a nice young lady offered to put my stuff on the counter to be checked out.
When I looked at the groceries placed in plastic bags for me, I had 84 bottles of Greek Vineagrette, 18 boxes of Gerber cereal and 19 dented cans of green beans.
(Now what the hell did that mean.. and why was it so vivid?)
o I was shopping at Target, where I found 20 "storage charts" (Whatever that it).. Elaine wanted them. I went off to the side of the check-out counter and called her to let her know that I had what she wanted.. when I went back to be checked out, some guy had removed 10 of them to his cart, and an Iranian lady had removed the last 10 of them to her chart.
(OK Dr. Freud or Dr. Jung... what is the significance of these dreams... and why so vivid on New Years Eve?)
TV Guide (Aging With a Smile)
To make conversation during a bridge game, Emma asked, "Have you seen those new soap operas for Seniors?"
"Oh, yes," said Grace. "I'm a big fan of "As the Rocker Creaks."
"Really?" replied Emma. "I thought that one was okay, but there's a lot more action on "(Last) Days of Our Lives."
A Future Citizen
The Week reports that a Georgia college student complained about her parent' refusal to pay her senior-year tuition after she spent her $90,000 college fund on clothes and a trip to Europe.
The 22 year-old still expected her parents to foot all of her bills. Dream on! Kudos to the parents.
Voice from Above
A painter was working on a church steeple, when he began to run out of paint. So, he thinned the paint drastically so that he wouldn't have to get more. Suddenly, his ladder started to lean and a deep voice came from nowhere and said: "Repaint and thin no more!"
Wisdom
George Carlin famously said: That's all you need in life, a little place for your stuff.""
Why are We as We Are?
Some notes on John McCrone's book: "The Ape that Spoke"
"Then man's ancestors happened on the trick of language."
(Could there be other "tricks?" Like: thought projection? Mind reading? Could people such as Jesus have developed something else? Mystics?.. Is there something still unknown that could cause quantum leaps in evolution?)
John's thesis: "If man had never discovered speech, he would still be an animal - with no self-consciousness."
Barber Joke
My notes on this joke are confusing... perhaps if I write them here, I might figure out the joke.
"How many before me?" 7 good 10 good Sent someone to follow.. where? your house.
(See what I mean.. I know it was funny.. wish I had kept better notes.) Wait a minute.. I think this had something to do with the barber's wife fooling around and her lover needing to know how soon the barber was coming home. So.. now you can make your own joke from this information.
Toastmasters Tip
When making a major speech, remember to wear a nice suit and a red tie... and try to pace back and forth because a moving target is hard to hit!
Save Energy
The Baltimore Gas and Electric Company continue to bug me because we consume so much energy. Last month we used twice as much power as any of our neighbors.. and BG+E says that most of our energy is used between 9 and 10 at night. To think that is to admit that you are smoking funny cigars.
Anyway, they sent us some tips on how to save energy in the Summer months. I'll post them here:
o Raise your A/C thermostat 3 or 4 degrees above the normal setting between 1 and 7 pm.
o Do laundry and dishwashing after 7 pm.
o Keep blinds and curtains drawn, to keep out the hot sun.
o Minimize usage of ovens, stoves, or dryers.
o Unplug your electronics. (I think this is my problem. Some of my computers are always on.)
Now, just Weight one Minute!
The Week reports that British researchers have discovered that bodybuilders' muscles are weaker than those of people who do not pump iron! They say that weight lifters are strong, because they have so much muscle mass, which compensates for their poor muscle quality.
What a crock! Just take a look at those "pencil neck geeks" and tell me they are stronger than Big Arnie!
More Wisdom
Cary Grant once said: "When people tell you how young you look, they are also telling you how old you are."
Planning to go to Ocean City, Maryland this Summer?
Try these suggestions from the OC Tourist Bureau:
o Try the three mile boardwalk.
o Eat Maryland crab cakes; Delmarva fried chicken; Saltwater Taffy.
o Watch the sunset on the inlet.. and get up to see the sunrise over the ocean.
o Visit the Life Savings Museum.
o Visit the Assateague wild ponies.
o Shop... shop... shop..
o Do the summer freebies:
Sundaes in the park
Boogie on the beach
Watch the giant bonfire
Watch a free outdoor movie
Participate in Family Beach Olympics
o Catch some crabs.
o Catch a marlin.
o Play golf
o Play miniature golf
My friend Alan Kaufman always likes to tell this story about one time he and his wife were standing in line waiting to go to an Ocean City movie. The guy in front of them looked to be 6'9" tall, while Alan is probably 5'3" tall. Alan was curious, so he tugged at the pants leg of the giant and asked: "Hey, Mister, do you play basketball?"
The big man looked down at Alan and said: "No, do you play miniature golf?"
.............................................................................................................
Music in my head today..... I'm going to give this up.. every day music plays in my head... but sometimes it is a tune from somewhere I can't recognize. So... play on!
Let's continue with some old stuff:
Dream, when You're Feeling Blue... Dream, that's the Thing to do.....
On New Years Eve in 2013, I had two very vivid dreams:
o I was shopping at a Giant Super Market, when a guy came up next to me pushing a cart and left it for a few minutes.... when he came back to get the cart, it was filled with "reduced goods".. not paying attention, he pushed it to the checkout, where he paid $70 for stuff he didn't pick out. Meanwhile, I was in back of him, and a nice young lady offered to put my stuff on the counter to be checked out.
When I looked at the groceries placed in plastic bags for me, I had 84 bottles of Greek Vineagrette, 18 boxes of Gerber cereal and 19 dented cans of green beans.
(Now what the hell did that mean.. and why was it so vivid?)
o I was shopping at Target, where I found 20 "storage charts" (Whatever that it).. Elaine wanted them. I went off to the side of the check-out counter and called her to let her know that I had what she wanted.. when I went back to be checked out, some guy had removed 10 of them to his cart, and an Iranian lady had removed the last 10 of them to her chart.
(OK Dr. Freud or Dr. Jung... what is the significance of these dreams... and why so vivid on New Years Eve?)
TV Guide (Aging With a Smile)
To make conversation during a bridge game, Emma asked, "Have you seen those new soap operas for Seniors?"
"Oh, yes," said Grace. "I'm a big fan of "As the Rocker Creaks."
"Really?" replied Emma. "I thought that one was okay, but there's a lot more action on "(Last) Days of Our Lives."
A Future Citizen
The Week reports that a Georgia college student complained about her parent' refusal to pay her senior-year tuition after she spent her $90,000 college fund on clothes and a trip to Europe.
The 22 year-old still expected her parents to foot all of her bills. Dream on! Kudos to the parents.
Voice from Above
A painter was working on a church steeple, when he began to run out of paint. So, he thinned the paint drastically so that he wouldn't have to get more. Suddenly, his ladder started to lean and a deep voice came from nowhere and said: "Repaint and thin no more!"
Wisdom
George Carlin famously said: That's all you need in life, a little place for your stuff.""
Why are We as We Are?
Some notes on John McCrone's book: "The Ape that Spoke"
"Then man's ancestors happened on the trick of language."
(Could there be other "tricks?" Like: thought projection? Mind reading? Could people such as Jesus have developed something else? Mystics?.. Is there something still unknown that could cause quantum leaps in evolution?)
John's thesis: "If man had never discovered speech, he would still be an animal - with no self-consciousness."
Barber Joke
My notes on this joke are confusing... perhaps if I write them here, I might figure out the joke.
"How many before me?" 7 good 10 good Sent someone to follow.. where? your house.
(See what I mean.. I know it was funny.. wish I had kept better notes.) Wait a minute.. I think this had something to do with the barber's wife fooling around and her lover needing to know how soon the barber was coming home. So.. now you can make your own joke from this information.
Toastmasters Tip
When making a major speech, remember to wear a nice suit and a red tie... and try to pace back and forth because a moving target is hard to hit!
Save Energy
The Baltimore Gas and Electric Company continue to bug me because we consume so much energy. Last month we used twice as much power as any of our neighbors.. and BG+E says that most of our energy is used between 9 and 10 at night. To think that is to admit that you are smoking funny cigars.
Anyway, they sent us some tips on how to save energy in the Summer months. I'll post them here:
o Raise your A/C thermostat 3 or 4 degrees above the normal setting between 1 and 7 pm.
o Do laundry and dishwashing after 7 pm.
o Keep blinds and curtains drawn, to keep out the hot sun.
o Minimize usage of ovens, stoves, or dryers.
o Unplug your electronics. (I think this is my problem. Some of my computers are always on.)
Now, just Weight one Minute!
The Week reports that British researchers have discovered that bodybuilders' muscles are weaker than those of people who do not pump iron! They say that weight lifters are strong, because they have so much muscle mass, which compensates for their poor muscle quality.
What a crock! Just take a look at those "pencil neck geeks" and tell me they are stronger than Big Arnie!
More Wisdom
Cary Grant once said: "When people tell you how young you look, they are also telling you how old you are."
Planning to go to Ocean City, Maryland this Summer?
Try these suggestions from the OC Tourist Bureau:
o Try the three mile boardwalk.
o Eat Maryland crab cakes; Delmarva fried chicken; Saltwater Taffy.
o Watch the sunset on the inlet.. and get up to see the sunrise over the ocean.
o Visit the Life Savings Museum.
o Visit the Assateague wild ponies.
o Shop... shop... shop..
o Do the summer freebies:
Sundaes in the park
Boogie on the beach
Watch the giant bonfire
Watch a free outdoor movie
Participate in Family Beach Olympics
o Catch some crabs.
o Catch a marlin.
o Play golf
o Play miniature golf
My friend Alan Kaufman always likes to tell this story about one time he and his wife were standing in line waiting to go to an Ocean City movie. The guy in front of them looked to be 6'9" tall, while Alan is probably 5'3" tall. Alan was curious, so he tugged at the pants leg of the giant and asked: "Hey, Mister, do you play basketball?"
The big man looked down at Alan and said: "No, do you play miniature golf?"
.............................................................................................................
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Volunteer Award; Words to Live By; Poem... "a hundred years hence."
Nice, hot, sunny Summer day!
In the morning, I went to my "Train Your Brain" class... fifteen people in attendance, more than ever. We did some interesting puzzles. Nice class.
Music in my head today: Another tune that I can't name... pop... but not current stuff that is called "pop". More melodic and memorable... where the instruments do not drown out the human voice.
After my brain got trained, I went to a luncheon for volunteers. Since I had volunteered for more than 100 hours last year, I got a "silver" volunteer award. (Actually, my volunteerism probably topped 100 hours in just two months.)
A nice sit-down dinner was served and the three persons at my table got crab cakes, which came quickly. However, as these poor folks waited politely for me to get my Cordon Bleu... I realized that the servers had forgotten me. I had to get up and find somebody in charge to get my food.... some bosses came over to apologize. Anyway, since I told my table mates not to wait for me, I got to eat alone. But it wasn't all bad... I had plenty of time to regale everyone with tales of my youth in Germany, and I didn't catch them nodding off.
Later, I took Elaine to Reisterstown for an eye examination. She ordered $800 worth of eyeware! It costs a lot these days to look stylish in specs.
Let's try some more old stuff:
Words to Live By
Here are some quotations taken from the 1983 edition of Words To Live By, a fantastic compilation of extremely important information from my wife and my friends... at least I thought so back then.
"Old dogs don't grow new spots." Elaine Vaughan
"When you stop to think, don't forget to start again." Candy Levroney
"Don't let anyone pull the bull over your eyes." Elaine Vaughan
"After you put your foot in your mouth, make sure you don't leave room for the other one." Phil Fribush.
"Never admit defeat until you are defeated...'cause you may be able to weasel out of it." Henry Drumheller
"We ride on four channels." Bernie Rubin
"That's like putting a Band-Aid over a big pus-hole." Larry Penn
"How come everybody gets quoted except me?" Marty Holtz
Other Quotes worthy of Consideration
"A whale in shallow water amuses the shrimp." Anonymous
"A Conservative is a Liberal who has been mugged." Anonymous
"Refrain tonight, and that shall lend a kind of easiness to the net abstinence; the next more easy." Hamlet (on Quitting Smoking)
And now... a poem worthy of consideration.... a classic.
Coronemus nos rosis antequam marcescant
Let us drink and be merry, dance, joke and rejoice,
with Claret and Sherry, Theorbo and voice!
The changeable world to our joy is unjust,
All treasure's uncertain, then down with your dust!
For we shall be nothing a hundred years hence.
We'll sport and be free with Moll, Betty, and Dolly,
Have oysters and lobsters to cure melancholy;
Fish-dinners will make a lass spring like a flea,
Dame Venus, love's lady was born of the sea;
With her and with Bacchus we'll tickle the sense,
For we shall be past it a hundred years hence.
Your most beautiful bride who with garlands is crown'd
And kills with each glance as she treads on the ground,
Though now she be pleasant and sweet to the sense,
Will be damnably mouldy a hundred years hence.
Then why should we turmoil in cares and in fears,
Turn all our tranquill'ty to sighs and to tears?
Let's eat, drink, and play till the works do corrupt ups,
Tis certain, Post Mortem Nulla Volumpatas.
For health, wealth and beauty, wit, learning and sense,
Must all come to nothing a hundred years hence.
From Thomas Jordan (1612?-1685)
................................................................
enough!
.................................................................
In the morning, I went to my "Train Your Brain" class... fifteen people in attendance, more than ever. We did some interesting puzzles. Nice class.
Music in my head today: Another tune that I can't name... pop... but not current stuff that is called "pop". More melodic and memorable... where the instruments do not drown out the human voice.
After my brain got trained, I went to a luncheon for volunteers. Since I had volunteered for more than 100 hours last year, I got a "silver" volunteer award. (Actually, my volunteerism probably topped 100 hours in just two months.)
A nice sit-down dinner was served and the three persons at my table got crab cakes, which came quickly. However, as these poor folks waited politely for me to get my Cordon Bleu... I realized that the servers had forgotten me. I had to get up and find somebody in charge to get my food.... some bosses came over to apologize. Anyway, since I told my table mates not to wait for me, I got to eat alone. But it wasn't all bad... I had plenty of time to regale everyone with tales of my youth in Germany, and I didn't catch them nodding off.
Later, I took Elaine to Reisterstown for an eye examination. She ordered $800 worth of eyeware! It costs a lot these days to look stylish in specs.
Words to Live By
Here are some quotations taken from the 1983 edition of Words To Live By, a fantastic compilation of extremely important information from my wife and my friends... at least I thought so back then.
"Old dogs don't grow new spots." Elaine Vaughan
"When you stop to think, don't forget to start again." Candy Levroney
"Don't let anyone pull the bull over your eyes." Elaine Vaughan
"After you put your foot in your mouth, make sure you don't leave room for the other one." Phil Fribush.
"Never admit defeat until you are defeated...'cause you may be able to weasel out of it." Henry Drumheller
"We ride on four channels." Bernie Rubin
"That's like putting a Band-Aid over a big pus-hole." Larry Penn
"How come everybody gets quoted except me?" Marty Holtz
Other Quotes worthy of Consideration
"A whale in shallow water amuses the shrimp." Anonymous
"A Conservative is a Liberal who has been mugged." Anonymous
"Refrain tonight, and that shall lend a kind of easiness to the net abstinence; the next more easy." Hamlet (on Quitting Smoking)
And now... a poem worthy of consideration.... a classic.
Coronemus nos rosis antequam marcescant
Let us drink and be merry, dance, joke and rejoice,
with Claret and Sherry, Theorbo and voice!
The changeable world to our joy is unjust,
All treasure's uncertain, then down with your dust!
For we shall be nothing a hundred years hence.
We'll sport and be free with Moll, Betty, and Dolly,
Have oysters and lobsters to cure melancholy;
Fish-dinners will make a lass spring like a flea,
Dame Venus, love's lady was born of the sea;
With her and with Bacchus we'll tickle the sense,
For we shall be past it a hundred years hence.
Your most beautiful bride who with garlands is crown'd
And kills with each glance as she treads on the ground,
Though now she be pleasant and sweet to the sense,
Will be damnably mouldy a hundred years hence.
Then why should we turmoil in cares and in fears,
Turn all our tranquill'ty to sighs and to tears?
Let's eat, drink, and play till the works do corrupt ups,
Tis certain, Post Mortem Nulla Volumpatas.
For health, wealth and beauty, wit, learning and sense,
Must all come to nothing a hundred years hence.
From Thomas Jordan (1612?-1685)
................................................................
enough!
.................................................................
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
Creative Expressions; Stocks; Peter Lynch;
Gloriously sunny day... with a few clouds hovering but not coming near. Temperature got to 84 where Elaine and I were, in Reisterstown. We went to a Doctor's Appointment for Elaine.
Music in my head today: It's a melody from the 20's or 30's.. it may not have a name, but it probably has something to do with the sun, now that I know that's the music I hear in my head is sometimes triggered by the weather.
No Writer's Cramp?
Recently, I submitted a little life story to Carroll Lutheran Village's literary publication, called Creative Expressions. The editors changed it a bit.. to show numbers written out instead of being numerical, and substituted commas instead of colons, where necessary. So, the story is basically as I wrote it. Not like last year, when my story was drastically altered. They destroyed the whole effect that I was trying to make, so I complained... loudly. We compromised, by adding a side note that said, in effect: "This work has been written in the style of Ernest Hemingway" and leaving it the way I wrote it.
Let's Talk Stocks
A few years ago, someone sent me a document titled: "20 Golden Rules". It is a Xerox copy of something written by Peter Lynch and published by Simon and Schuster.. other than that, I don't know where it came from. I'll try to summarize the rules.
01. Invest in companies and industries you already understand.
02. Beat the market by ignoring the "herd."
03. Be patient, and try to own successful companies.
04. Know what you own, and why you own it.
05. Don't try for long shots.
06. Try not to have more than five companies in your portfolio at any one time.
07. Don't buy any stock from companies that you think are not attractive.
08. Never invest in a company without understanding its finances.
09. Avoid hot stocks in hot companies.
10. Don't invest in small companies until they turn a profit.
11. You need to find only a few good stocks to make a lifetime of investing worthwhile.
12. An observant amateur can find great growth companies before the professionals do.
13. A decline is a great opportunity to pick up bargains left by investors who have fled.
14. If you are susceptible to selling in a panic, stay away from stocks and bonds.
15. Don't sell your stocks just because someone says that the "sky is falling."
16. Don't rely on predictions.. just concentrate on what is happening with your companies.
17. Find those companies whose achievements are being overlooked by Wall street.
18. You must study your companies... or you will lose.
19. Be patient... current bad events may turn to better events in the long term.
20. Choose wisely and you will outperform bonds or money-market accounts.
I've editorialized these "rules" to fit my understanding of what Mr. Lynch wrote. I could be all wet on this... so, the best thing to do is to find some of Peter Lynch's written works and read them on your own.
Peter Lynch knows what he is talking about. He served the Magellan Fund at Fidelity Investments from 1977 to 1990. During that time the fund averaged an annual return of 29.2% and was called the best performing mutual fund in the world. What else would you expect from a Massachusetts native who was educated in Boston? By the way, two of the books that's he wrote are: "Beating the Street" and "Learn to Earn." Read his books and get rich, young man.
.....................................................................................................................
Music in my head today: It's a melody from the 20's or 30's.. it may not have a name, but it probably has something to do with the sun, now that I know that's the music I hear in my head is sometimes triggered by the weather.
No Writer's Cramp?
Recently, I submitted a little life story to Carroll Lutheran Village's literary publication, called Creative Expressions. The editors changed it a bit.. to show numbers written out instead of being numerical, and substituted commas instead of colons, where necessary. So, the story is basically as I wrote it. Not like last year, when my story was drastically altered. They destroyed the whole effect that I was trying to make, so I complained... loudly. We compromised, by adding a side note that said, in effect: "This work has been written in the style of Ernest Hemingway" and leaving it the way I wrote it.
Let's Talk Stocks
A few years ago, someone sent me a document titled: "20 Golden Rules". It is a Xerox copy of something written by Peter Lynch and published by Simon and Schuster.. other than that, I don't know where it came from. I'll try to summarize the rules.
01. Invest in companies and industries you already understand.
02. Beat the market by ignoring the "herd."
03. Be patient, and try to own successful companies.
04. Know what you own, and why you own it.
05. Don't try for long shots.
06. Try not to have more than five companies in your portfolio at any one time.
07. Don't buy any stock from companies that you think are not attractive.
08. Never invest in a company without understanding its finances.
09. Avoid hot stocks in hot companies.
10. Don't invest in small companies until they turn a profit.
11. You need to find only a few good stocks to make a lifetime of investing worthwhile.
12. An observant amateur can find great growth companies before the professionals do.
13. A decline is a great opportunity to pick up bargains left by investors who have fled.
14. If you are susceptible to selling in a panic, stay away from stocks and bonds.
15. Don't sell your stocks just because someone says that the "sky is falling."
16. Don't rely on predictions.. just concentrate on what is happening with your companies.
17. Find those companies whose achievements are being overlooked by Wall street.
18. You must study your companies... or you will lose.
19. Be patient... current bad events may turn to better events in the long term.
20. Choose wisely and you will outperform bonds or money-market accounts.
I've editorialized these "rules" to fit my understanding of what Mr. Lynch wrote. I could be all wet on this... so, the best thing to do is to find some of Peter Lynch's written works and read them on your own.
Peter Lynch knows what he is talking about. He served the Magellan Fund at Fidelity Investments from 1977 to 1990. During that time the fund averaged an annual return of 29.2% and was called the best performing mutual fund in the world. What else would you expect from a Massachusetts native who was educated in Boston? By the way, two of the books that's he wrote are: "Beating the Street" and "Learn to Earn." Read his books and get rich, young man.
.....................................................................................................................
Monday, May 23, 2016
Netflix; Murderer; Clean Up Time; Serendipity; Ripkin; Medical Equipment; Garlic Problem; Something store
At last... sun... but not for long. Raining from time to time, and I hear thunder rumbling right now.
Music in my head today: Can you believe it? Raindrops keep falling on my head again! Maybe I should use my brain music for weather reports.
Binge Watching
Well, I had to do it! I stayed up until the wee hours in order to see the whole of the Netflix special "Making a Murderer." And... my juices remain stirred up even now. I really shouldn't tell you the outcome because it would spoil it for you... just know that I think that Steven Avery and his nephew were "railroaded!" Were they guilty of crimes? Did they have to go to jail? You watch and you decide.
This true documentary was extremely well done, in my opinion.
Clean up Time
This was the day that Dinah came to do some housework for us. She vacuumed, dusted, washed the kitchen and bathroom floor, cleaned the countertops and tables, and got the house smelling nice. It's still a "hoarder's" typical house, but at least I no longer feel ashamed to let my kids come to visit.
Serendipity
As Dinah worked in the house, I worked in the garage and made exciting discoveries, such as:
o 1997 Sports Newspaper that predicted that Cal Ripkin would not keep up his race to fame because he was nursing a bad cold. But, of course, that did not stop him... he showed up to play even when he was ill.
o A commendation given by President Ronald Reagan to Elaine's father because of his Army service in WWII.
o A Rollator in brand new condition.
o Three Walkers, also in new condition.
o A type of wheelchair that is used to transfer patients from their cars to the operating room. In pristine condition.
(The medical equipment was given to me to pass to people in my acquaintance who need it. What I have listed here is what is left of a large group of equipment. This material was purchased by my daughter in law, Kathleen's father and never used. When he died, she thought that it might be of assistance to others... and she was right. As part of the group, there were ten or more new canes. I was able to give those to people who needed them.)
o Lots of flower pots.
o Old records... I mean OLD. These were part of Elaine's mothers music collection.
o All of Elaine's dolls from when she was a little girl.
o Tools that belonged to Elaine's father.
o Real old Christmas decorations from Elaine's family.
o My busted up Moravian Star that I put together and displayed at Christmas Time so that I would not have to get up on a ladder and string lights all over the place. Most of my neighbors had never heard of Moravians, and they wouldn't want their sisters to marry one.
o Scraggily Christmas wreaths that I would reluctantly stick up during the holidays, even though I thought that the Moravian Star sufficed.
o Evidence that a Mr. Mice and his family had made themselves at home in an old box of towels during the cold winter months. I'll bet it was cosy for them.
o Spinning wheels on sticks... these are supposed to be put into the ground next to your plants, to scare away birds and varments.
o A heavy to lift strongbox, with no key. Wow! Maybe there is a million dollars contained within.
o A framed picture of Elaine when she was in her 30's. She was very pretty... she still is.
o A framed picture of Elaine's daughter, Emily, when she was eight years old and wore teeth braces. Also very pretty.. and still is.
o Lots of other neat stuff, but I'm too tired to list them all.
A Problem with Garlic
Recently, Elaine has developed a condition so that whenever she eats anything with garlic in it, she gets deathly ill. I mean very very ill. So, we are experimenting with our diet. Last night, we made our own Spaghetti meal, without garlic. It was wonderful! Luckily, we saved some of the sauce and will make it again tonight.
Surprise! Surprise!
Mental Floss reports that $10 can get you a surprise gift. You send your $10 to somethingstore.com and they will send you back "something." They say: "Recent customers have received a necktie, or a Kindle, or a heated ice scraper. The package is always worth at least $10..."
.......................................................................................................................................
Music in my head today: Can you believe it? Raindrops keep falling on my head again! Maybe I should use my brain music for weather reports.
Binge Watching
Well, I had to do it! I stayed up until the wee hours in order to see the whole of the Netflix special "Making a Murderer." And... my juices remain stirred up even now. I really shouldn't tell you the outcome because it would spoil it for you... just know that I think that Steven Avery and his nephew were "railroaded!" Were they guilty of crimes? Did they have to go to jail? You watch and you decide.
This true documentary was extremely well done, in my opinion.
Clean up Time
This was the day that Dinah came to do some housework for us. She vacuumed, dusted, washed the kitchen and bathroom floor, cleaned the countertops and tables, and got the house smelling nice. It's still a "hoarder's" typical house, but at least I no longer feel ashamed to let my kids come to visit.
Serendipity
As Dinah worked in the house, I worked in the garage and made exciting discoveries, such as:
o 1997 Sports Newspaper that predicted that Cal Ripkin would not keep up his race to fame because he was nursing a bad cold. But, of course, that did not stop him... he showed up to play even when he was ill.
o A commendation given by President Ronald Reagan to Elaine's father because of his Army service in WWII.
o A Rollator in brand new condition.
o Three Walkers, also in new condition.
o A type of wheelchair that is used to transfer patients from their cars to the operating room. In pristine condition.
(The medical equipment was given to me to pass to people in my acquaintance who need it. What I have listed here is what is left of a large group of equipment. This material was purchased by my daughter in law, Kathleen's father and never used. When he died, she thought that it might be of assistance to others... and she was right. As part of the group, there were ten or more new canes. I was able to give those to people who needed them.)
o Lots of flower pots.
o Old records... I mean OLD. These were part of Elaine's mothers music collection.
o All of Elaine's dolls from when she was a little girl.
o Tools that belonged to Elaine's father.
o Real old Christmas decorations from Elaine's family.
o My busted up Moravian Star that I put together and displayed at Christmas Time so that I would not have to get up on a ladder and string lights all over the place. Most of my neighbors had never heard of Moravians, and they wouldn't want their sisters to marry one.
o Scraggily Christmas wreaths that I would reluctantly stick up during the holidays, even though I thought that the Moravian Star sufficed.
o Evidence that a Mr. Mice and his family had made themselves at home in an old box of towels during the cold winter months. I'll bet it was cosy for them.
o Spinning wheels on sticks... these are supposed to be put into the ground next to your plants, to scare away birds and varments.
o A heavy to lift strongbox, with no key. Wow! Maybe there is a million dollars contained within.
o A framed picture of Elaine when she was in her 30's. She was very pretty... she still is.
o A framed picture of Elaine's daughter, Emily, when she was eight years old and wore teeth braces. Also very pretty.. and still is.
o Lots of other neat stuff, but I'm too tired to list them all.
A Problem with Garlic
Recently, Elaine has developed a condition so that whenever she eats anything with garlic in it, she gets deathly ill. I mean very very ill. So, we are experimenting with our diet. Last night, we made our own Spaghetti meal, without garlic. It was wonderful! Luckily, we saved some of the sauce and will make it again tonight.
Surprise! Surprise!
Mental Floss reports that $10 can get you a surprise gift. You send your $10 to somethingstore.com and they will send you back "something." They say: "Recent customers have received a necktie, or a Kindle, or a heated ice scraper. The package is always worth at least $10..."
.......................................................................................................................................
Sunday, May 22, 2016
The Ark; Netflix; Murderer; Bernie; Donald; Hillary; Good Pitcher; Wine Advice; Dumb Crooks; the Draft; Chang and Eng; the Senator
Get that ark built! Another rainy day. I hope it is building a good aquifer as a buttress to any summer drought that we might be in line for.
I'm getting way behind in my chores... because, I have gotten caught up in the Netflix series called "Making a Murderer." As I watch it, my stomach juices churn. I won't tell you why. You need to watch it yourself. There are ten episodes. I'm on number seven and can't wait to see the last three.
If you want to know what it is all about, check out one of the latest People magazines.. they have a good write-up, and it was what got me interested.
Politics
It seemed as though every Sunday news program had Bernie Sanders as its guest. Old Bernie sure gets around. It was refreshing to hear him instead of Blowhard Donald. Mr. Trump was amusing for a while, but now that he is ready to be the Republican nominee, I'm afraid I must write him off (I know, who cares?)
Today, the guy who will lead the Libertarian Party spoke. Yes, they might be the only third party on the ballot. I can't think of his name... but, he is for abortion, and gun control, even though he is a hunter. Many people do not like Trump; many people do not like Hillary; many people like Bernie and may vote for a third party if he doesn't get selected.
......................................................................................................................................
In today's New York Times, there was a humorous piece which goes something like this.... I've been out of the country for a year and now you expect me to resume my editorial duties and check out your article for publication. Well, OK, but what you write is so fantastic nobody will believe it.
A nominee proposes building a giant wall to keep Mexicans out of the country, and Mexico will pay for it." That's just dumb. Got anything else?
"A nominee wants to ban all Moslems from entering the U.S." ... no, no, that's foolish.
"A nominee wants to deport 11 million illegal aliens.".. Look, come on.. nobody would be so dumb to suggest such a ridiculous idea. So.. I'm not going to let your article go through. Go out and bring me some real stuff.
.........................................................................................................................................
Fishy Headline
The Week reports that the East Oregonian newspaper wrote about new pitcher, Pat Venditte. They said that's Pat, who can pitch with either arm deserved this headline: "Amphibious pitcher makes debut."
Wine Wisdom
Readers Digest writes that Adam Rapoport (Bon Appetit editor) gave out some great advice about wine drinking: I quote: "I have a problem about pontificating about gravelly undertones and raspberry overtones... Just order the bottle of wine you like."
Great advice. It bugs the hell out of me to hear people carry on about "saucy little wines" and such.
I've mentioned this before: A friend of mine who worked at the Social Security Administration with me used most of his paycheck to buy rare wine vintages (at least ones that his wine merchant recommended... such as Chateau Whatever). He would regale me with stories about how he and his wife would have a formal meal every night, where they consumed marvelous wines. He was truthful about buying rare and expensive wines, because he would give me the empty bottles so that I could fill them with my home-brewed concoctions.
However, as nice as his evening sessions were with his wife, it didn't stop her from running off with a neighbor. All that rare grape juice gone to waste. Poor bastard.
More dumb thieves.
The crooks who perpetrated a recent armed robbery in Los Angeles netted 35 cents!
How to beat the Draft
According to the latest Mental Floss magazine, in 1895, Eng Bunker was drafted to join the Union Army. The only problem was, Eng was one of conjoined twins. The other twin, Chang, had not yet been drafted. Neither of them went to war.
Eng and Chang were known as the original Siamese Twins and toured the U.S. as circus attractions. They, of course, were required to live in quite close quarters with each other, and even shared a bed with their wives.
My late wife and I once visited the famous place called Mayberry, North Carolina. (You remember, Barney Pfife and Opie.. and that great cop, Andy Griffith). In addition to information about Andy's show at a small museum, there is also information about Eng and Chang, who settled down in that area and raised a large family whose last name is Bunker. There still are many of their descendants living there.
My grandfather (the Senator) had a "den".. and on the walls he hung pictures of things and people that interested him. One set of pictures was of Eng and Chang, so I became acquainted with them and other so-called "freaks" from an early age. Probably, today, Eng and Chang could be surgically removed from each other with a minimum of effort... but this was a long time ago and surgeons did not want to try it... besides the "twins" made a lot of money being connected.
...................................................................................................................................................
I'm getting way behind in my chores... because, I have gotten caught up in the Netflix series called "Making a Murderer." As I watch it, my stomach juices churn. I won't tell you why. You need to watch it yourself. There are ten episodes. I'm on number seven and can't wait to see the last three.
If you want to know what it is all about, check out one of the latest People magazines.. they have a good write-up, and it was what got me interested.
Politics
It seemed as though every Sunday news program had Bernie Sanders as its guest. Old Bernie sure gets around. It was refreshing to hear him instead of Blowhard Donald. Mr. Trump was amusing for a while, but now that he is ready to be the Republican nominee, I'm afraid I must write him off (I know, who cares?)
Today, the guy who will lead the Libertarian Party spoke. Yes, they might be the only third party on the ballot. I can't think of his name... but, he is for abortion, and gun control, even though he is a hunter. Many people do not like Trump; many people do not like Hillary; many people like Bernie and may vote for a third party if he doesn't get selected.
......................................................................................................................................
In today's New York Times, there was a humorous piece which goes something like this.... I've been out of the country for a year and now you expect me to resume my editorial duties and check out your article for publication. Well, OK, but what you write is so fantastic nobody will believe it.
A nominee proposes building a giant wall to keep Mexicans out of the country, and Mexico will pay for it." That's just dumb. Got anything else?
"A nominee wants to ban all Moslems from entering the U.S." ... no, no, that's foolish.
"A nominee wants to deport 11 million illegal aliens.".. Look, come on.. nobody would be so dumb to suggest such a ridiculous idea. So.. I'm not going to let your article go through. Go out and bring me some real stuff.
.........................................................................................................................................
Fishy Headline
The Week reports that the East Oregonian newspaper wrote about new pitcher, Pat Venditte. They said that's Pat, who can pitch with either arm deserved this headline: "Amphibious pitcher makes debut."
Wine Wisdom
Readers Digest writes that Adam Rapoport (Bon Appetit editor) gave out some great advice about wine drinking: I quote: "I have a problem about pontificating about gravelly undertones and raspberry overtones... Just order the bottle of wine you like."
Great advice. It bugs the hell out of me to hear people carry on about "saucy little wines" and such.
I've mentioned this before: A friend of mine who worked at the Social Security Administration with me used most of his paycheck to buy rare wine vintages (at least ones that his wine merchant recommended... such as Chateau Whatever). He would regale me with stories about how he and his wife would have a formal meal every night, where they consumed marvelous wines. He was truthful about buying rare and expensive wines, because he would give me the empty bottles so that I could fill them with my home-brewed concoctions.
However, as nice as his evening sessions were with his wife, it didn't stop her from running off with a neighbor. All that rare grape juice gone to waste. Poor bastard.
More dumb thieves.
The crooks who perpetrated a recent armed robbery in Los Angeles netted 35 cents!
How to beat the Draft
According to the latest Mental Floss magazine, in 1895, Eng Bunker was drafted to join the Union Army. The only problem was, Eng was one of conjoined twins. The other twin, Chang, had not yet been drafted. Neither of them went to war.
Eng and Chang were known as the original Siamese Twins and toured the U.S. as circus attractions. They, of course, were required to live in quite close quarters with each other, and even shared a bed with their wives.
My late wife and I once visited the famous place called Mayberry, North Carolina. (You remember, Barney Pfife and Opie.. and that great cop, Andy Griffith). In addition to information about Andy's show at a small museum, there is also information about Eng and Chang, who settled down in that area and raised a large family whose last name is Bunker. There still are many of their descendants living there.
My grandfather (the Senator) had a "den".. and on the walls he hung pictures of things and people that interested him. One set of pictures was of Eng and Chang, so I became acquainted with them and other so-called "freaks" from an early age. Probably, today, Eng and Chang could be surgically removed from each other with a minimum of effort... but this was a long time ago and surgeons did not want to try it... besides the "twins" made a lot of money being connected.
...................................................................................................................................................
Saturday, May 21, 2016
Foreign Idioms; Preakness; Nyquist; The Mostest; Teacher; Jewels
Rainy and cool. A muddy track at Pimlico. Elaine and I took the back roads to get to her Daughter Emily's surprise 40th birthday party. We got lost. The street is in 5 parts, separated by other streets.. and MapQuest gave us erroneous misleading information. So, after a lot of circling around I went to a Fire Department Station... nobody was there... what happens if there is a fire? So, then I went in to the local Holiday Inn Express and asked if I could use their phone (I had left our cell phone at home).. The desk clerk said, "Sure, if you have purchased a room."
So, I went to a nearby Days Inn and the desk clerk there was very helpful and even dialed the number for me on his cell phone. The hostess of the party gave us good directions and we arrived at the party about 2 hours late... just five minutes later than when my son and daughter left.
We still enjoyed ourselves, talking to folks we had not seen for years. You know... "My how you've grown!" stuff. Anyway, Elaine got to see her grandchildren, and that was nice. Coming home, we decided to use the expressways... smart move... saved us at least an hour of time.
Music in my head today: Can't make it out.
Foreign Language Idioms
Smithsonian magazine for April 2010 listed some foreign idioms and their meanings in English:
o "My butt is fringed with noodles": I am very lucky. (French)
o "Hanging on my ears": I'm not pulling your leg. (Russian)
o "Swallowed like a postman's sock" Hopelessly in love. (Columbian_
o "Ant milker" a penny-pincher. (Syrian)
o "Combing the giraffe." Wasting Time (French)
The Preakness
The race at Pimlico just ended. Nyquist, who won the Kentucky Derby, came in third. Elaine and I were hoping that he would win again and perhaps win the :"Triple Crown" .. Maybe next year.
Meanwhile, someone bet $80,000 on one of the horses. I'll have more information tomorrow.
The Mostest Someone sent me the following list items... I'll type them out from time to time until I've covered them all.
The most destructive habit.... worry.
The greatest joy......................giving.
The greatest loss...... Loss of selfrespect.
The most satisfying work..... Helping others
The ugliest personality trait....Selfishness
The most endangered species.... Dedicated Leaders
Teacher to Class
"Of all the classes that I have taught, I must say that "you are the most recent."
Offer One Can't Refuse
A jeweler in Iowa started offering free girl-friends to customers buying engagement rings.
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
Enough... I'm beat!
...................................................................................................
So, I went to a nearby Days Inn and the desk clerk there was very helpful and even dialed the number for me on his cell phone. The hostess of the party gave us good directions and we arrived at the party about 2 hours late... just five minutes later than when my son and daughter left.
We still enjoyed ourselves, talking to folks we had not seen for years. You know... "My how you've grown!" stuff. Anyway, Elaine got to see her grandchildren, and that was nice. Coming home, we decided to use the expressways... smart move... saved us at least an hour of time.
Music in my head today: Can't make it out.
Foreign Language Idioms
Smithsonian magazine for April 2010 listed some foreign idioms and their meanings in English:
o "My butt is fringed with noodles": I am very lucky. (French)
o "Hanging on my ears": I'm not pulling your leg. (Russian)
o "Swallowed like a postman's sock" Hopelessly in love. (Columbian_
o "Ant milker" a penny-pincher. (Syrian)
o "Combing the giraffe." Wasting Time (French)
The Preakness
The race at Pimlico just ended. Nyquist, who won the Kentucky Derby, came in third. Elaine and I were hoping that he would win again and perhaps win the :"Triple Crown" .. Maybe next year.
Meanwhile, someone bet $80,000 on one of the horses. I'll have more information tomorrow.
The Mostest Someone sent me the following list items... I'll type them out from time to time until I've covered them all.
The most destructive habit.... worry.
The greatest joy......................giving.
The greatest loss...... Loss of selfrespect.
The most satisfying work..... Helping others
The ugliest personality trait....Selfishness
The most endangered species.... Dedicated Leaders
Teacher to Class
"Of all the classes that I have taught, I must say that "you are the most recent."
Offer One Can't Refuse
A jeweler in Iowa started offering free girl-friends to customers buying engagement rings.
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
Enough... I'm beat!
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Friday, May 20, 2016
Toastmasters; Medicine; Hairdo; Botox; Sentences; Baptism; Football;
Well, we had a nice sunny 70+ day today. That's more like it.
Music in my head today: Some light melody that I can't put my finger on.
More old stuff:
Politics
During the Romney campaign for President, he used a plane that Ann Romney called "Hair Force One."
Toastmasters' Speech Titles
During the last meeting that I attended at the Social Security Administration, the following people spoke and used clever titles for their speeches:
o Shelly Beall spoke on "Go Web, Young Woman, Go Web."
o Sylvia Wicker spoke on "Cybershopping.. A Shopper's Utopia."
o Allan Lang spoke on "Internet Wader and Movie Guide."
New Medical Breakthroughs
The "corkscrew" breakthrough called MERCI widens the treatment window for stroke from three to eight hours, almost tripling the chances for complete recovery."
Medications called angiotensin-receptor blockers may improve sexual function in both men and women.
Keep your Hairdo functioning.
Wealthy New York City women are having Botox injected into their scalps so that sweat doesn't mess up their hairdos. It costs $1,500 and it's called Blowtox.
Strange But Valid English Sentence
"Is it true, for all that, that that "that" that that "that" represents, is not the "that" of which I am thinking."
Strange But Valid Latin Sentence
"Malo Malo Malo Malo,"
"I would rather be a bad man up an apple tree than a coward." (or)
"I would rather be in an apple tree than a bad man in misfortune."
Accept the Gospel!
The Week writes that a Georgia high school football coach got the members of his team to get baptized before practice. What next!
(Often, team members on one side pray that they will "slaughter" the other team. And the other team rays that they will "slaughter" the other team.)
I've mentioned this before... when I was a member of a street football team a long time ago.. one of our members was beaten up by members of the team we were to play the next day. We got together and prayed that we would avenge our beaten player and "slaughter" the other team. Well.. instead, they beat the daylights out of us.
............................................................................................
Hey, I just heard Elaine howling upstairs. She is watching the Brown Family in Alaska, and one of the Brown kids howls as he climbs up trees. So, Elaine likes to howl along with him. Maybe I'd better check to make sure she isn't climbing up the walls.
...................................................................................................................
Music in my head today: Some light melody that I can't put my finger on.
More old stuff:
Politics
During the Romney campaign for President, he used a plane that Ann Romney called "Hair Force One."
Toastmasters' Speech Titles
During the last meeting that I attended at the Social Security Administration, the following people spoke and used clever titles for their speeches:
o Shelly Beall spoke on "Go Web, Young Woman, Go Web."
o Sylvia Wicker spoke on "Cybershopping.. A Shopper's Utopia."
o Allan Lang spoke on "Internet Wader and Movie Guide."
New Medical Breakthroughs
The "corkscrew" breakthrough called MERCI widens the treatment window for stroke from three to eight hours, almost tripling the chances for complete recovery."
Medications called angiotensin-receptor blockers may improve sexual function in both men and women.
Keep your Hairdo functioning.
Wealthy New York City women are having Botox injected into their scalps so that sweat doesn't mess up their hairdos. It costs $1,500 and it's called Blowtox.
Strange But Valid English Sentence
"Is it true, for all that, that that "that" that that "that" represents, is not the "that" of which I am thinking."
Strange But Valid Latin Sentence
"Malo Malo Malo Malo,"
"I would rather be a bad man up an apple tree than a coward." (or)
"I would rather be in an apple tree than a bad man in misfortune."
Accept the Gospel!
The Week writes that a Georgia high school football coach got the members of his team to get baptized before practice. What next!
(Often, team members on one side pray that they will "slaughter" the other team. And the other team rays that they will "slaughter" the other team.)
I've mentioned this before... when I was a member of a street football team a long time ago.. one of our members was beaten up by members of the team we were to play the next day. We got together and prayed that we would avenge our beaten player and "slaughter" the other team. Well.. instead, they beat the daylights out of us.
............................................................................................
Hey, I just heard Elaine howling upstairs. She is watching the Brown Family in Alaska, and one of the Brown kids howls as he climbs up trees. So, Elaine likes to howl along with him. Maybe I'd better check to make sure she isn't climbing up the walls.
...................................................................................................................
Thursday, May 19, 2016
Pageviews; Female Talk Continued; People who changed my Life
Hey! Today is a big day for this blog. Today we reached 1,000 pageviews. So, I guess I will continue. One of my other blogs (Joe Reads the News) has been used for English language training in Japan for some time. I'm glad to be of use.
Music in my head today: Raindrops keep falling on my head! I don't particularly like that song, so why is it rolling around in my head? Probably because I attended the annual Homecoming Conference for the Social Security Alumni Association, and I became reacquainted with some folks that I worked with years ago when this song was popular. Funny how the mind works.
At the luncheon, author Barbara Smith talked about her creations. I purchased the one about Baltimore... Floating in the Harbor, or words to that effect.
Female Talk (continued) ... when she says:
4. "Go ahead" (with raised eyebrows)
This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be .. the woman will get upset over "Nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "Fine."
5. "Go ahead" (with normal eyebrows)
This is NOT permission either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "five minutes" when she cools off.
6. "Loud Sigh"
This is not actually a word, but it is still often a verbal statement, very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing!"
To be continued.
I'm now going to name names!
Something I read suggested making a list of the five persons who mostly changed your life.
I decided that I have a minimum of 8... and here they are, in chronological order.
1. Joe Barboza... infamous hitman from New Bedford, Massachusetts. I was in a small gang and one day Joe showed up and infiltrated our group. Luckily for me, Joe took an instant dislike to me and I to him. I left the gang, which went on to do lots of criminal things. I became an honest citizen and . Joe went to Boston and killed a lot of people for money... One day Joe squealed on some of his buddies and was put into the Witness Protection Program... but one cannot escape the Mafia for too long... so, he got his just desserts one day on the streets of San Francisco.
2. My Cousin Charlie Kraihanzel.. Charlie talked me into going to the First Baptist Church with him, and introduced me to their wonderful library. I suddenly discovered "real" books and gave up "comic" books for good. I've loved reading books ever since.
3. Courtney Gilbert.. I met Courtney when I was in the 6th grade, and we were friends until High School, when he decided he was too smart to keep going... actually, he probably was. Courtney was the kind of kid that other kids pick on because they are different. He dressed like an Al Capone mobster, with soft hat and topcoat. Because of some medical condition, he lost a few years of schooling and when he went back to Junior High, he was old enough to drive.
Courtney had access to a 1934 12-cylinder monster of a car. If it were in an accident, God help the other car. Courtney and I would drive around town in his car and look for art theaters and coffee bars to visit. He had a few girl friends and I visited a couple of them with him. No romance involved, just discussion about writing. Courtney was an author. Once, at his house, he showed me an issue of a True Detective magazine that contained a story, written by him, about a detective named, of all things, Joe Vaughan. No one believes me about this, and I have been trying, so far unsuccessfully to find a copy.
Anyway, Courtney, as weird as he was to some, served me as a writing role model and is the reason that I continue to try to write a blog entry every day.
4. Miss DeLoid.. 7th grade teacher. Jack of all trades... she tried to instill in us a love of everything that cultured people should experience. For instance, under her tutelage, I learned how to read music; I learned how to appreciate classical music; I learned about the beauty of Shakespeare's words; etc. In effect, she taught me how to be a lover of fine things.
5. Miss Thynge 8th grade teacher. She loved the English language and she loved the kids that she tried to teach it to. She was a good psychologist.. for example, one day I threw a paper airplane around her room when her back was turned... because, as with all teachers, she had eyes in the back of her head, she caught me and kept me after school and punished me by having me fold up hundreds of paper airplanes and throw them one by one across the room into a closet... it took me a LONG time, but it taught me to always think carefully about what I was about to do.
6. Elaine Langlois.. my dear late wife. This wonderful lady taught me so much, but mainly, she taught me how to love another person.
7. Ben Bodager... one of my Captains when I was in the Air Force. Ben recognized that my IQ was obviously higher than the 100 score on record, and talked me into thinking about attending college. Which I did.
8. Elaine Lottes.. my current companion. Elaine has taught me many household things, most importantly... how to cook. She also is a very intelligent and loving person.
There... I named names.. so sue me!
............................................................................................................................
.
Music in my head today: Raindrops keep falling on my head! I don't particularly like that song, so why is it rolling around in my head? Probably because I attended the annual Homecoming Conference for the Social Security Alumni Association, and I became reacquainted with some folks that I worked with years ago when this song was popular. Funny how the mind works.
At the luncheon, author Barbara Smith talked about her creations. I purchased the one about Baltimore... Floating in the Harbor, or words to that effect.
Female Talk (continued) ... when she says:
4. "Go ahead" (with raised eyebrows)
This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be .. the woman will get upset over "Nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "Fine."
5. "Go ahead" (with normal eyebrows)
This is NOT permission either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "five minutes" when she cools off.
6. "Loud Sigh"
This is not actually a word, but it is still often a verbal statement, very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing!"
To be continued.
I'm now going to name names!
Something I read suggested making a list of the five persons who mostly changed your life.
I decided that I have a minimum of 8... and here they are, in chronological order.
1. Joe Barboza... infamous hitman from New Bedford, Massachusetts. I was in a small gang and one day Joe showed up and infiltrated our group. Luckily for me, Joe took an instant dislike to me and I to him. I left the gang, which went on to do lots of criminal things. I became an honest citizen and . Joe went to Boston and killed a lot of people for money... One day Joe squealed on some of his buddies and was put into the Witness Protection Program... but one cannot escape the Mafia for too long... so, he got his just desserts one day on the streets of San Francisco.
2. My Cousin Charlie Kraihanzel.. Charlie talked me into going to the First Baptist Church with him, and introduced me to their wonderful library. I suddenly discovered "real" books and gave up "comic" books for good. I've loved reading books ever since.
3. Courtney Gilbert.. I met Courtney when I was in the 6th grade, and we were friends until High School, when he decided he was too smart to keep going... actually, he probably was. Courtney was the kind of kid that other kids pick on because they are different. He dressed like an Al Capone mobster, with soft hat and topcoat. Because of some medical condition, he lost a few years of schooling and when he went back to Junior High, he was old enough to drive.
Courtney had access to a 1934 12-cylinder monster of a car. If it were in an accident, God help the other car. Courtney and I would drive around town in his car and look for art theaters and coffee bars to visit. He had a few girl friends and I visited a couple of them with him. No romance involved, just discussion about writing. Courtney was an author. Once, at his house, he showed me an issue of a True Detective magazine that contained a story, written by him, about a detective named, of all things, Joe Vaughan. No one believes me about this, and I have been trying, so far unsuccessfully to find a copy.
Anyway, Courtney, as weird as he was to some, served me as a writing role model and is the reason that I continue to try to write a blog entry every day.
4. Miss DeLoid.. 7th grade teacher. Jack of all trades... she tried to instill in us a love of everything that cultured people should experience. For instance, under her tutelage, I learned how to read music; I learned how to appreciate classical music; I learned about the beauty of Shakespeare's words; etc. In effect, she taught me how to be a lover of fine things.
5. Miss Thynge 8th grade teacher. She loved the English language and she loved the kids that she tried to teach it to. She was a good psychologist.. for example, one day I threw a paper airplane around her room when her back was turned... because, as with all teachers, she had eyes in the back of her head, she caught me and kept me after school and punished me by having me fold up hundreds of paper airplanes and throw them one by one across the room into a closet... it took me a LONG time, but it taught me to always think carefully about what I was about to do.
6. Elaine Langlois.. my dear late wife. This wonderful lady taught me so much, but mainly, she taught me how to love another person.
7. Ben Bodager... one of my Captains when I was in the Air Force. Ben recognized that my IQ was obviously higher than the 100 score on record, and talked me into thinking about attending college. Which I did.
8. Elaine Lottes.. my current companion. Elaine has taught me many household things, most importantly... how to cook. She also is a very intelligent and loving person.
There... I named names.. so sue me!
............................................................................................................................
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Wednesday, May 18, 2016
Calendar Glitch; Stucco; House Hunters; Talking Dog; Ball Game; Henry Vaughan; Whaling Museum; Gardner Heist
(This is a copy of a blog entry from 2016, three years before I fell and broke my face. Sometimes its fun to remember weird things that happened to you in the past.)
Solch ein' Tag! What a day! Elaine and I had a very bad night's sleep... or lack of it. Then we hurried to an Italian restaurant for the Social Security Alumni Association annual reunion luncheon. Elaine and I looked around and didn't see anyone we know... except there was old friend Stan Wantland sitting at a table of ladies, none of whom looked familiar. I asked Stan what he was there for and he said it was for the Social Security Bowling League Banquet. And then.... and then... he said that the Alumni luncheon was tomorrow, not today. !
Both Elaine and I had today on our calendars... I'm sure it is my fault. Well, while we were there, we had lunch. Before you eat, they bring you giant bowls of house salad and lots of garlic bread. Elaine can't tolerate garlic, so our waiter advised us as to what did not have any. She had a Shrimp BLT... imagine that.
Because I love garlic, I had some of their fried chicken, fried in a special garlicy sauce. Very nice.
So, even though we arrived a day too early, we had a good lunch, with full doggy bags for later.
To thank Stan for setting us straight, I gave him an assortment of "Joe Vaughan Fan Club" pens. He seemed overwhelmed.
Later in the afternoon, we performed a chore connected with Elaine's rental family. Next, we went to WalMart and spent 3 hours roaming around and spending hundreds of dollars.
Before I fall asleep, let me get into more old stuff:
Do We Live in Nazi Germany?
A Minnesota man was jailed for two days because his house siding work with stucco was not satisfactory with zoning laws!
This reminds me of the Amos and Andy routine, where Andy buys a stucco house and the Kingfish says: "Yeah, the house is stucco and you are the stuckee.
This can't be True
The Week reported that Marcelle Friedman of Slate.com said that House Hunters is a fake. Supposedly, HGTV uses people who have already bought a house and also says that the houses that they are offered are just the houses of friends of theirs. No way! No no no!
However, from time to time I have remarked to Elaine that I have seen the house seekers in a different location, and with different names, but with the same accents and hairdos. And, of course, I never forget a face.
This reminds me of when my late wife went to the hospital with a foot problem, the doctor said that he remembered her foot from years ago when it was injured. And, of course, he said: "I never forget a foot."
Neighborly Love
Chinese Proverb: One of the greatest sounds in the world is the sound of neighbors falling off the roof.
Talking Dog
A man had what he said was a talking dog. Some questioned him on it and he gave a demonstration.
Man: What's on the top of a house?
Dog: Roof!
Man: Who was the greatest ball player in history?
Dog: Ruth!
Man: What is sandpaper like?
Dog: Rough!
See.. I told you.
Ball Game!
The Week reports this with a grain of salt:
If you dip your toes in Illinois Lake Lou Yaeger, you have to watch out for the rare pacu fish, known for biting off men's testicles. The fish comes from New Guinea, where some fishermen died for blood loss when their family jewels were eaten by some of those grouchy pacu fish.
Another Famous Vaughan
Imported Englishman, Henry Vaughan (1845-1917) was an architect noted for his churches, but he also did some other architectural work, such as building the world-famous Whaling Museum in New Bedford, Massachusetts. I'll try to squeeze him onto the Vaughan family tree.
Boston's Museum Heist hits another Dead End
Federal agents searched the home of mobster Robert Gentile's Connecticut home last week, hoping to find some of the art work stolen from the Gardner Museum in Boston. No luck, even though they found a machine gun, two hand guns and lots of ammunition.
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
1950's Songs; Woman's Dictionary; Plant Talk; Casablanca; Janet Jackson; Boat McBoatface; Crook Names; Giraffes; Jesus; Ed Wynn
Raining again. Elaine and I braved the torrent and went to see Kim and get out haircuts.. two months late. Kim asked if I wanted to get a pony tail.
Music in my head today: "Again!" .. "This couldn't happen again...". "This is the once in a lifetime.. " or words to that effect. Pop tune from the 1950's I think. Why can't the composers of today come up with something that folks can relate to, and listen to and relax, instead of listening to that (in my opinion) crappy rap music.
Where is Mozart when we need him? Or Nat King Cole? Or George Gershwin? I think that our music has been going downhill since the 1960's and 1970's.. with few exceptions.
I'm still sorting out old notes and papers... as I come across items that I think might be of interest (at least to me), I'll blog'em here. Examples:
A Woman's Dictionary... actually Tips for Men
Somebody sent me this in 2002 (I have no record of who) and I think it bears repeating today. However, there is just so much that us men with our tiny brains can process at one time, so I will break the document down into four parts, with three "eye-openers" each:
1. "Fine"
This is the word that women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. (Never use "fine" to describe how she looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)
2. "Five Minutes"
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so women feel that it's an even trade.
3. "Nothing"
"Nothing" means "something" and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
Got it, guys? Stand by for some more "words" in future blog entries.
Plant Language?
The Week in 2012 reported that some British and Australian researchers have discovered that some plants communicate with one another by making sounds at frequencies that humans can't hear. Study author Monica Gagliano told the Daily Mail (U.K.) that the research may change the perception and action toward plants. Well.. I guess so! We should stop poisoning them and chopping them down hap-hazardly.
Something to Look For
I have a note that says to check out the final scene of Casablanca. It supposedly shows midgets as mechanics. ??
Baby Mama
I guess Janet Jackson was intrigued with the 70 year old lady who just had a baby, because she has announced that she will become a mother at the age of 50.
Boat Name
Let me clarify something that I talked about a few times recently. A contest was held to name a British polar research vessel. The winning name was "Boaty McBoatface" .. but, apparently, some high-level Admiralty folks thought that this was not dignified enough, so the ship will be christened "Sir David Attenborough" instead. But the name will live on, as the title of a support submarine.
Crook Names
The New York Post reports that a security company went through 30,000 arrest records and recorded the most common names of male criminals in the U.S.
Most likely to commit a crime: Juan or Jeremy
Most popular for robbery: Jeremy
Most popular for assault: Johnny.
Most popular for drugs: Randy
Most popular for murder: Alan
The top three names for women were: Tiffany, Samantha, and Kelly. All of whom get into fraud.
Flash!
Greeters are coming back to WalMart!
Burning Question of the Day
If a giraffe can't talk, how does it subtly announce its presence in the room?
Burning Quote of the Day
The car next to me had a sign that said "Honk if you love Jesus." I honked, and the driver gave me the finger.
Quote from Ed Wynn at the Stagedoor Canteen
"When they saw who I was, they got right down on their knees. What an accolade! What a reception! What a crap game!"
Music in my head today: "Again!" .. "This couldn't happen again...". "This is the once in a lifetime.. " or words to that effect. Pop tune from the 1950's I think. Why can't the composers of today come up with something that folks can relate to, and listen to and relax, instead of listening to that (in my opinion) crappy rap music.
Where is Mozart when we need him? Or Nat King Cole? Or George Gershwin? I think that our music has been going downhill since the 1960's and 1970's.. with few exceptions.
I'm still sorting out old notes and papers... as I come across items that I think might be of interest (at least to me), I'll blog'em here. Examples:
A Woman's Dictionary... actually Tips for Men
Somebody sent me this in 2002 (I have no record of who) and I think it bears repeating today. However, there is just so much that us men with our tiny brains can process at one time, so I will break the document down into four parts, with three "eye-openers" each:
1. "Fine"
This is the word that women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. (Never use "fine" to describe how she looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)
2. "Five Minutes"
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so women feel that it's an even trade.
3. "Nothing"
"Nothing" means "something" and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
Got it, guys? Stand by for some more "words" in future blog entries.
Plant Language?
The Week in 2012 reported that some British and Australian researchers have discovered that some plants communicate with one another by making sounds at frequencies that humans can't hear. Study author Monica Gagliano told the Daily Mail (U.K.) that the research may change the perception and action toward plants. Well.. I guess so! We should stop poisoning them and chopping them down hap-hazardly.
Something to Look For
I have a note that says to check out the final scene of Casablanca. It supposedly shows midgets as mechanics. ??
Baby Mama
I guess Janet Jackson was intrigued with the 70 year old lady who just had a baby, because she has announced that she will become a mother at the age of 50.
Boat Name
Let me clarify something that I talked about a few times recently. A contest was held to name a British polar research vessel. The winning name was "Boaty McBoatface" .. but, apparently, some high-level Admiralty folks thought that this was not dignified enough, so the ship will be christened "Sir David Attenborough" instead. But the name will live on, as the title of a support submarine.
Crook Names
The New York Post reports that a security company went through 30,000 arrest records and recorded the most common names of male criminals in the U.S.
Most likely to commit a crime: Juan or Jeremy
Most popular for robbery: Jeremy
Most popular for assault: Johnny.
Most popular for drugs: Randy
Most popular for murder: Alan
The top three names for women were: Tiffany, Samantha, and Kelly. All of whom get into fraud.
Flash!
Greeters are coming back to WalMart!
Burning Question of the Day
If a giraffe can't talk, how does it subtly announce its presence in the room?
Burning Quote of the Day
The car next to me had a sign that said "Honk if you love Jesus." I honked, and the driver gave me the finger.
Quote from Ed Wynn at the Stagedoor Canteen
"When they saw who I was, they got right down on their knees. What an accolade! What a reception! What a crap game!"
Monday, May 16, 2016
Blizzard; Puppy Love; Gasbags; Assault Rifle
Pretty day! Sunny and 60 degrees. Typical Spring day for a normal location... for here, it is way below par... our normal would be in the upper 70's. Global warming in reverse.
Music in my head today: Can't make it out.
Today, I'm in a hurry. Elaine wants me to print out pictures of her two houses using Google Maps. So, here are a few jokes:
Winter Weather
It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her daddy's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift..
This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it.
As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions. After quite some time had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped. The driver got our, came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time.
She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.
The driver replied that it was OK with him and she could continue if she wanted, but he was done with The WalMart parking lot and was going over to KMart Next.
Kids
A Kindergartner likes his teacher and keeps bugging her, and she gets upset about it. One day the kid says: "Teacher, I love you. Please marry me."
The teacher snaps back, "I can't marry you.. I don't like children."
The kid says, "Not to worry, we'll use birth control pills."
Republican Convention?
The waitress gives the Senator a dish of beans. "Why?"
"Well, I thought that you might want to gas up first."
Breakthrough
Hey... there's a new assault rifle made expressly for holding up convenience stores.
Yeah, what?
The AK-711.
.......................................................................................................................
enough of this foolishness! bye!
Music in my head today: Can't make it out.
Today, I'm in a hurry. Elaine wants me to print out pictures of her two houses using Google Maps. So, here are a few jokes:
Winter Weather
It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her daddy's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift..
This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it.
As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions. After quite some time had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped. The driver got our, came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time.
She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.
The driver replied that it was OK with him and she could continue if she wanted, but he was done with The WalMart parking lot and was going over to KMart Next.
Kids
A Kindergartner likes his teacher and keeps bugging her, and she gets upset about it. One day the kid says: "Teacher, I love you. Please marry me."
The teacher snaps back, "I can't marry you.. I don't like children."
The kid says, "Not to worry, we'll use birth control pills."
Republican Convention?
The waitress gives the Senator a dish of beans. "Why?"
"Well, I thought that you might want to gas up first."
Breakthrough
Hey... there's a new assault rifle made expressly for holding up convenience stores.
Yeah, what?
The AK-711.
.......................................................................................................................
enough of this foolishness! bye!
Sunday, May 15, 2016
Mozart; Fantasia; Mickey Mouse; Puzzles; First Trip as a Widower
Nice sun most of the day, but the temperature only got up to the low 60's and is dropping to the 30's tonight. I hope my plants survive. I pulled a nice fat radish out today... delicious.
Music in my head today: I listened to Mozart's Barber of Seville yesterday, and I am surprised to find that I don't have that music going around my head today. Also, last nite, I watched Fantasia on Netflix. Eight separate musical numbers with appropriate animation. I loved the ballet dancing hippos, elephants and ostriches. And.. of course, Mickey, the Sorceror's Apprentice.. very nice.
So, what is my head music then? A Scottish tune played on a bagpipe in a British military parade ground. How about that?
Today, I did really lousy on one of the word puzzles in the Sunday New York Times. Even though I solved one other in a very short time, and I finished the Acrostic, I still am a bit depressed over the fact that I found less that ten words out of the twenty-six that the NYT editors found in that one puzzle. Us puzzlers get depressed when we don't do better than others.
My First Trip as a Widower
I'm going to do something a little different today. While sorting old stuff, I found some notes about a New England Trip I took a short time after my wife died and I had a heart attack. I figured that a change of scene would help me with my grieving and help my heart to heal. I traveled alone. Here goes:
It's five am... I have to get picked up at six am. I get on a big bus and as I go down the aisle, I hear a loud woman's voice bellowing between gales of laughter. I wonder if she is laughing at me. I must stay away from her, at all costs.
We travel from Maryland to Delaware first, and eat a breakfast at Denny's. I had a piece of burned rye toast slathered with margarine. I sit alone for a few minutes, until a massive man with a cane squeezes into the booth next to me. He must weigh 400 pounds. His massive wife squeezes her fat butt into the booth across from me. I can see that she also has very large hands. I hear her as she yells across the room to her friend, the loud mouth lady. Her voice must be a signal, because three women suddenly appear next to our booth. Somehow, these three skinny ladies squeeze into the interstices between me and the big folks. These ladies travel together once a year. They are sisters. They are also single, I can tell why.
Back on the bus, I get into my seat, which is next to an "older" man. He has an ear piece and is listening to loud music. He'll be deaf before long. Me too.
Soon, we arrive at the Jersey Turnpike traffic jam. This tie up lasts for hours. I wish that someone would shut that loud mouth bitch up! There is a red and white cooler stuck into the overhead just above her head. Please, Lord, let us go over a nice big bump, so that the cooler can jiggle loose and decapitate her!
Oh, Damn! The fat guy just pushed the cooler in.
I will try to concentrate on my seat-mate's music and try not to hear all about the loud lady's bodily ailments. But, you know, when I think about it, she looks a lot like Peter Ustinov, but without the beard. He always had a loud voice too... maybe this is him, traveling in cognito!
The big fat guy has to pee a lot and travels from the front of the bus to the back quite often. As he goes, he assaults everybody sitting on the aisle. The poor guy can't help it. I wonder if he has had his heart attack yet.. so far, he's probably just suffering from Diabetes.
Well, it's noon time and we are only in Trenton. At one stretch, we traveled just 12 miles in two hours. We just saw the obstruction, a burned-out tractor trailer. Imagine that, an accident in Trenton, New Jersey caused a traffic backup to Wilmington, Delaware! The hostess just brought a snack around. Cokes and crackers. I wonder how many crackers the fat guy is eating.
(Remember, Joe, you have to live with these people for a fortnight, so be nice!)
To be continued
...........................................................................................................................
Music in my head today: I listened to Mozart's Barber of Seville yesterday, and I am surprised to find that I don't have that music going around my head today. Also, last nite, I watched Fantasia on Netflix. Eight separate musical numbers with appropriate animation. I loved the ballet dancing hippos, elephants and ostriches. And.. of course, Mickey, the Sorceror's Apprentice.. very nice.
So, what is my head music then? A Scottish tune played on a bagpipe in a British military parade ground. How about that?
Today, I did really lousy on one of the word puzzles in the Sunday New York Times. Even though I solved one other in a very short time, and I finished the Acrostic, I still am a bit depressed over the fact that I found less that ten words out of the twenty-six that the NYT editors found in that one puzzle. Us puzzlers get depressed when we don't do better than others.
My First Trip as a Widower
I'm going to do something a little different today. While sorting old stuff, I found some notes about a New England Trip I took a short time after my wife died and I had a heart attack. I figured that a change of scene would help me with my grieving and help my heart to heal. I traveled alone. Here goes:
It's five am... I have to get picked up at six am. I get on a big bus and as I go down the aisle, I hear a loud woman's voice bellowing between gales of laughter. I wonder if she is laughing at me. I must stay away from her, at all costs.
We travel from Maryland to Delaware first, and eat a breakfast at Denny's. I had a piece of burned rye toast slathered with margarine. I sit alone for a few minutes, until a massive man with a cane squeezes into the booth next to me. He must weigh 400 pounds. His massive wife squeezes her fat butt into the booth across from me. I can see that she also has very large hands. I hear her as she yells across the room to her friend, the loud mouth lady. Her voice must be a signal, because three women suddenly appear next to our booth. Somehow, these three skinny ladies squeeze into the interstices between me and the big folks. These ladies travel together once a year. They are sisters. They are also single, I can tell why.
Back on the bus, I get into my seat, which is next to an "older" man. He has an ear piece and is listening to loud music. He'll be deaf before long. Me too.
Soon, we arrive at the Jersey Turnpike traffic jam. This tie up lasts for hours. I wish that someone would shut that loud mouth bitch up! There is a red and white cooler stuck into the overhead just above her head. Please, Lord, let us go over a nice big bump, so that the cooler can jiggle loose and decapitate her!
Oh, Damn! The fat guy just pushed the cooler in.
I will try to concentrate on my seat-mate's music and try not to hear all about the loud lady's bodily ailments. But, you know, when I think about it, she looks a lot like Peter Ustinov, but without the beard. He always had a loud voice too... maybe this is him, traveling in cognito!
The big fat guy has to pee a lot and travels from the front of the bus to the back quite often. As he goes, he assaults everybody sitting on the aisle. The poor guy can't help it. I wonder if he has had his heart attack yet.. so far, he's probably just suffering from Diabetes.
Well, it's noon time and we are only in Trenton. At one stretch, we traveled just 12 miles in two hours. We just saw the obstruction, a burned-out tractor trailer. Imagine that, an accident in Trenton, New Jersey caused a traffic backup to Wilmington, Delaware! The hostess just brought a snack around. Cokes and crackers. I wonder how many crackers the fat guy is eating.
(Remember, Joe, you have to live with these people for a fortnight, so be nice!)
To be continued
...........................................................................................................................
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