Music in my head today: Voi sapete... Mozart of course. Cherubino.
Elaine is ill and I have been staying close at hand to tend to her needs, so I have kept busy by sorting some ten year old papers. Hopefully, I can get rid of a lot of it. So, how about some old jokes?
Growing Things
Man #1: "I've been using that stuff that Bob Dole advertises to increase your sex life. I take three teaspoons of Vigaro every night."
Man #2: "But that's a mistake. You need to take Viagra instead."
Man #1: Oh... then that explains the berries."
Deadly Pickup
A man's wife dies and he calls the funeral home. The director says: "No problem, we will come and pick her up. Where do you live?"
The man says: "On the corner of Eucalyptus and Hydranga Streets."
Director: "How do you spell that?"
The man says: "How about if I just drag the body over to Elm Street?"
Justice Desserts
A famous judge was observed visiting a house of ill repute many times. When confronted with that evidence, the judge said: "I like to go there and get some delicious soup from a vending machine." (Supposedly a true story)
Bible Lesson
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I would throw up."
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This reminds me of something my late wife, Elaine told me. One day, she was babysitting her little brother who was two years old. She was pushing him in a stroller and they were in the middle of a large crowd of shoppers. All of a sudden, her brother said to her, "I'm going to throke up!" While she was trying to understand what he had said, he "throked up" all over everything.
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Thankfulness
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night??"
"That's very commendable. What does she say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
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Enough already! How about these unresolved items?
o Is it true that morning sickness creates children with higher IQ's as a Canadian study reports?
o Is it true that Coco Krispies can boost a child's immune system?
o Why do some Bibles italicize ordinary words?
As my neighbor, the Reverend Lou Piel says: "I just ask that you think about these things."
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