Music in my head today..... I'm going to give this up.. every day music plays in my head... but sometimes it is a tune from somewhere I can't recognize. So... play on!
Let's continue with some old stuff:
Dream, when You're Feeling Blue... Dream, that's the Thing to do.....
On New Years Eve in 2013, I had two very vivid dreams:
o I was shopping at a Giant Super Market, when a guy came up next to me pushing a cart and left it for a few minutes.... when he came back to get the cart, it was filled with "reduced goods".. not paying attention, he pushed it to the checkout, where he paid $70 for stuff he didn't pick out. Meanwhile, I was in back of him, and a nice young lady offered to put my stuff on the counter to be checked out.
When I looked at the groceries placed in plastic bags for me, I had 84 bottles of Greek Vineagrette, 18 boxes of Gerber cereal and 19 dented cans of green beans.
(Now what the hell did that mean.. and why was it so vivid?)
o I was shopping at Target, where I found 20 "storage charts" (Whatever that it).. Elaine wanted them. I went off to the side of the check-out counter and called her to let her know that I had what she wanted.. when I went back to be checked out, some guy had removed 10 of them to his cart, and an Iranian lady had removed the last 10 of them to her chart.
(OK Dr. Freud or Dr. Jung... what is the significance of these dreams... and why so vivid on New Years Eve?)
TV Guide (Aging With a Smile)
To make conversation during a bridge game, Emma asked, "Have you seen those new soap operas for Seniors?"
"Oh, yes," said Grace. "I'm a big fan of "As the Rocker Creaks."
"Really?" replied Emma. "I thought that one was okay, but there's a lot more action on "(Last) Days of Our Lives."
A Future Citizen
The Week reports that a Georgia college student complained about her parent' refusal to pay her senior-year tuition after she spent her $90,000 college fund on clothes and a trip to Europe.
The 22 year-old still expected her parents to foot all of her bills. Dream on! Kudos to the parents.
Voice from Above
A painter was working on a church steeple, when he began to run out of paint. So, he thinned the paint drastically so that he wouldn't have to get more. Suddenly, his ladder started to lean and a deep voice came from nowhere and said: "Repaint and thin no more!"
Wisdom
George Carlin famously said: That's all you need in life, a little place for your stuff.""
Why are We as We Are?
Some notes on John McCrone's book: "The Ape that Spoke"
"Then man's ancestors happened on the trick of language."
(Could there be other "tricks?" Like: thought projection? Mind reading? Could people such as Jesus have developed something else? Mystics?.. Is there something still unknown that could cause quantum leaps in evolution?)
John's thesis: "If man had never discovered speech, he would still be an animal - with no self-consciousness."
Barber Joke
My notes on this joke are confusing... perhaps if I write them here, I might figure out the joke.
"How many before me?" 7 good 10 good Sent someone to follow.. where? your house.
(See what I mean.. I know it was funny.. wish I had kept better notes.) Wait a minute.. I think this had something to do with the barber's wife fooling around and her lover needing to know how soon the barber was coming home. So.. now you can make your own joke from this information.
Toastmasters Tip
When making a major speech, remember to wear a nice suit and a red tie... and try to pace back and forth because a moving target is hard to hit!
Save Energy
The Baltimore Gas and Electric Company continue to bug me because we consume so much energy. Last month we used twice as much power as any of our neighbors.. and BG+E says that most of our energy is used between 9 and 10 at night. To think that is to admit that you are smoking funny cigars.
Anyway, they sent us some tips on how to save energy in the Summer months. I'll post them here:
o Raise your A/C thermostat 3 or 4 degrees above the normal setting between 1 and 7 pm.
o Do laundry and dishwashing after 7 pm.
o Keep blinds and curtains drawn, to keep out the hot sun.
o Minimize usage of ovens, stoves, or dryers.
o Unplug your electronics. (I think this is my problem. Some of my computers are always on.)
Now, just Weight one Minute!
The Week reports that British researchers have discovered that bodybuilders' muscles are weaker than those of people who do not pump iron! They say that weight lifters are strong, because they have so much muscle mass, which compensates for their poor muscle quality.
What a crock! Just take a look at those "pencil neck geeks" and tell me they are stronger than Big Arnie!
More Wisdom
Cary Grant once said: "When people tell you how young you look, they are also telling you how old you are."
Planning to go to Ocean City, Maryland this Summer?
Try these suggestions from the OC Tourist Bureau:
o Try the three mile boardwalk.
o Eat Maryland crab cakes; Delmarva fried chicken; Saltwater Taffy.
o Watch the sunset on the inlet.. and get up to see the sunrise over the ocean.
o Visit the Life Savings Museum.
o Visit the Assateague wild ponies.
o Shop... shop... shop..
o Do the summer freebies:
Sundaes in the park
Boogie on the beach
Watch the giant bonfire
Watch a free outdoor movie
Participate in Family Beach Olympics
o Catch some crabs.
o Catch a marlin.
o Play golf
o Play miniature golf
My friend Alan Kaufman always likes to tell this story about one time he and his wife were standing in line waiting to go to an Ocean City movie. The guy in front of them looked to be 6'9" tall, while Alan is probably 5'3" tall. Alan was curious, so he tugged at the pants leg of the giant and asked: "Hey, Mister, do you play basketball?"
The big man looked down at Alan and said: "No, do you play miniature golf?"
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