See Through and Mud-stained Jeans! and Murder

Someone wrote recently:  "I just saw the stupidest thing I've ever seen.  High heels with ripped up Jeans."  I did too, and the bearer was shopping at the Pennsylvania Amish Market.  I could see those neatly clothed Amish women making the sign to ward off the "evil eye" as she sashayed by their stands.

And now..... and now.... and now.... Nordstrom's  (you remember, the store that made El Presidente mad when they banned Ivanka's clothing line)  has ready for you to buy:

 Barracuda Straight Leg Mud-Stained Jeans.   (The mud will not wash out if you follow their washing instructions,)  On sale now for $425.

British Retailer TOPSHOT Clear Plastic Straight Leg Jeans.  (All is revealed!)  On sale now for a piddling $100.

What would FRED think about that?

Also..

On today's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!  someone quoted a person who suggested that the following phrase be added to the beginning of every piece of literature to make it more interesting.   The phrase is:

"And then the murders began!"  (I added another phrase:  "And let the murders begin!"

So... "It was a dark and dreary night and then the murders began!"

Or:  "Call me Ishmael, and let the murders begin."

Or: "Sun, stand thou strill upon Gibeon, and let the murders begin."

Or:  "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth, and then the murders began."

Or:  "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, and then the murders began."

You get the picture.

Got the time?

A marvelous Spring day... sunny and 80 degrees.. with greenery everywhere.  What a beautiful planet this is!  Elaine and I visited the Pennsylvania Amish Market with some CLV friends today and we got so worn out we took an afternoon nap.  Mr. Batty Bluebird didn't like us napping for more than one hour, so he came and banged on our bedroom window until I got up.  He is a nice looking bluebird so I don't understand why he seems to be so frustrated that he imagines a prospective mate appears back at him from his reflection in the window glass.

Ladies, are you pondering what to get your gadget loving spouse or boyfriend for his birthday? (Should I assume that only males are gadget driven?)  Here is the perfect answer to your quest.

The Watch to End all Watches

The New York Times Style Magazine just reported that Patek Philippe, famous Swiss watchmakers since 1893 has come out with the Calibre 89, a pocket watch with lots of features, for instance:

o  24 hands
o  2 dials
o  8  disks
o  61 bridges
o  129 jewels
o  184 wheels
o  332 screws
o  415 pins
o  429 mechanical components
o  a thermometer
o  a second time zone indicator
o  a 12 hour recorder
o  a full perpetual calendar
o  the moon's age
o  the moon's phases
o  the time of sunrise
o  the time of sunset
o  a display of the seasons
o  a display of the equinoxes
o  a display of the solstices
o  all the signs of the zodiac
o  the changeable date of Easter
o  a secular calendar that will not need adjusting until the 28th century

Only four of these watches were produced; one in yellow gold, one in rose gold, one in platinum and one in white gold..

It's a bit large for a pocket watch:  3 1/2 inches in diameter and it weighs 2 1/2 pounds.  (A lot bigger than any pocket watch in my Uncle Allen's large pocket watch collection.)

You'll need to hurry if you are thinking of buying the yellow-gold version because it is going up for sale at Sotheby's "Watches" auction in Geneva on May 14th, 2017 (just two short weeks away.)

Oh, by the way, the estimated sale price is $6.4 to 9.9 million!

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PS  If you feel that the price is a bit high, you can get a pocket watch at WalMart for about $15 that will keep better time.  It just won't have the same snob appeal.

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Crime

Marvelous Spring day.  A little rainy in the AM but gloriously sunny in the PM.  As my Grandfather always said each year as he got into his '80's:  "The grass is so much greener this year than ever before!"  Now that I am in my grandfather's image, I can say the same thing.

Today, I went on a Men's Club tour of a place I did not even know existed. (FR Reconstructions)  It is a massive building in which cars are modified to make them handicap accessible.  Some of these cars become mini-ambulances and vans that can be put to good use by companies that transport disabled people. They also build those yellow polka-dotted buses that are used at the major airports to transfer people from their cars to the air terminals.

These are beautiful machines.  I would like to buy one to take Elaine around in her wheel chair more easily.  I will look into it.

But... now, I would like to talk about criminal activity that has caught my eye in The Week magazine, The New York Times, The Funny Paper, and other media.  As the coordinator of the Carroll County TRIAD organization, I am extremely interested in the many different ways con men and thieves do their jobs... also how the Police cope and do their jobs.

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Surprise!

An armed suspect was surprised when Los Angeles policemen deployed a robot to sneak up on him and grab his gun.

Prepop sez:  I wonder what the robot looked like.  A sexy lady maybe?  I'm sure he would not have been surprised if R2D2 suddenly appeared next to him.  He probably would have shot it.

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Con Men

Everybody gets caught sooner or later by a con man. (Last year, most of us were caught by a very clever con man.) Elizabeth Winkler says that the typical con artist "exhibits symptoms of psychopathy, narcissism, and Machiavellianism - - a compulsion to manipulate."

Prepop sez:  Do you know any politician who might have such symptoms?

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Pull Over!

A California policeman pulled over (how?) a self-driving Google car for driving too slow (24 in a 35 mph zone.)  The poor cop couldn't figure out how to issue a ticket when there was nobody in the car.

Prepop sez:  This would make a great Mr. Bean comedy sketch.

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A really honest cop

A Wisconsin policeman gave himself a ticket for parking his squad car in a handicapped space.

Prepop sez:  Yes... "La loi, c'est la loi!"

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Expensive soda refill

A South Carolina construction worker "was fired and hit with a $525 fine for 'theft of government property' after failing to pay 89 cents for a soda refill."

Prepop sez:  There must be more to this story.  If not, I would suggest that whoever fined and fired him should be fined and fired.  Who the hell is this?  Barney Fife?

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Are you holding?

A Minnesota gun maker has come up with a handgun designed to look just like a smartphone.  It's a .380 caliber folding pistol that can fire two bullets.

Prepop sez:  Just what we need!

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Is that your pet python or are you glad to see me?

A lunatic in Portland, Oregon stole a 2-foot long python from a pet store by stuffing it down his pants.

Prepop sez:  The manager of the pet store says the guy was lucky the python wasn't hungry.

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Blue Law

According to Chuck Shepherd, the North Dakota House of Representatives voted to retain the state's blue law requiring stores to be closed on Sundays.  One Representative explained:  "Spending time with your wife, your husband, making him breakfast, bringing it to him in bed is better than shopping."

Prepop sez:  Dream on, Mr. Representative!

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Putin Arrested!

Mr. Vladimir Putin was arrested in a Publix Supermarket in Florida.  He was accused of trespassing and resisting arrest.  He was said to be belligerent and uncooperative.

Prepop sez:  Would you believe that there were two Vladimir Putins?  The Florida version and the Moscow version seem to have the same characteristics besides the same names.


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Enough!

Politics

Cool and rainy.  Just the kind of day when you want to stay covered in your cocoon and snooze away.  Ah, but life goes on and one needs to get up and get moving.

A few days ago, I mentioned three subjects that one should not talk about in public:  Sex; Religion and Politics.  So far, I have broken that rule and written about sex and religion.  Today,  I will continue breaking the rule and discuss a little political news.

Xenophobia

Dictionary.com reported that xenophobia  was its word of the year 2016.  The Week magazine defined the word as "fear and hatred of foreigners,"  which seems right "in the wake of the Brexit vote and as Donald Trump moved closer to securing the GOP nomination."

Prepop sez:  Yes.  This is a fearful time...  not just for fear of foreigners.. but rather it is fear of those who currently inhabit the White House.

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Speaking of Fear

Harper's Index  was quoted in the May 2017 Funny Times to  show that sales of George Orwell's 1984 increased by 96% during the three weeks after the presidential inauguration.

Prepop sez:  I just finished a Great Courses seminar on 1984 and other utopian and dystopian novels.  I  also downloaded a copy of the book to my Kindle so that I can read it again.

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Want a date?

TrumpSingles.com has been created to allow Trump supporters to link up with Trump supporters of the opposite (probably) sex.

Prepop sez:  So: Trump matches can make Trump weddings and then make Trump babies, who can be brainwashed to become supporters of the Presidents in the Trump line of ascendancy.

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Parallel Lives?

A California schoolteacher was suspended because he showed his class parallels between HItler's life and Donald Trump's life.

Prepop sez:  I've mentioned the parallels in this blog before.  How can someone be disciplined for telling the truth?

(I'm reminded of an Odd Couple program where Felix, the "neat" guy. was criticized by a pilot in a Latin American country for saying something against his airline.  Felix said: "I can say what I want. This is a free country."   The pilot replied: "No, it's a military dictatorship."...Are we heading that way?)

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Listen to the  REALLY BIG BOSS!

The Week magazine mentioned that a Buffalo woman filed a Federal lawsuit to block the 2016 election because both candidates' characters fell "far below" that expected by a presidential candidate.  She said that God told her "to go for it" in an attempt to save the country.

Prepop sez:  I hate to say it.. but I agree with what God said through the mouth of this lady.  However, I don't think that Hillary's indiscretions  come any way near equaling those of Donald's.

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We told you so!

Harper's again reports:  Almost 47,000 gallons of diesel fuel leaked from an Iowa pipeline one day after Donald Trump pledged to build two new pipelines.

Prepop sez: " To hell with the environment!  To hell with Global Warming!  To hell with friendly neighbors!  To hell with negotiation!  To hell with the world!"  says Mr. Trump.  How are we going to survive this presidency?

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Religion

Coolish and rainy, but we can handle it.

Yesterday, Elaine and I went on a "Quilt Trip."   No... not a "Guilt Trip."  A while ago, 20 or so quilt patterns were posted on barns around Carroll County.  Yesterday, we drove around in a Carroll Lutheran Village bus and looked at 9 or 10 of them.  Afterwards we ate some marvelous food at an Inn in Union Bridge, Maryland.  Very nice.

A couple of days ago, I mentioned that there are three subjects that a public speaker should never discuss:  Sex, Religion and Politics.  I then proceeded to talk about SEX.   Well, today I will talk about RELIGION.

My religious background:    As a young kid, I attended a Quaker meeting house in Mattapoisett, Massachusetts, but only sporadically.  Mostly in the Summer when I spent time with some cousins who lived in the country.

When I was about 9 years old, my cousin Charlie got me to attend the First Baptist Church in New Bedford, Massachusetts.  I was baptized there when I turned 13 years old.

During my time in the Baptist church, I came upon lots of hypocritical activity which I have mentioned elsewhere, but which I won't go into here.

My girlfriend, who later became my wife, took me to Catholic mass quite often.  We got married in a Catholic church.. at the altar too.  My kids were brought up as Catholics.

During the 1970's I felt a need to be affiliated with some kind of religion, so I became a "minister" in the Church of the Modern Apostles.  The church was formed to allow persons to become ethical leaders without having to spend long years studying myths.

Although I am always available to marry and give counseling, the only ministerial duty I have ever performed was to give eulogies at funerals.

I have mellowed over the years, but hypocrites still get my goat.  Example:  Vice President Mike Pence and his attitude towards fellow humans, and much of what comes out of the mouth of President Donald Trump.

But... enough about me:

Love Thy Neighbors

Last year, a Baptist preacher in California said that the only tragedy of the Orlando Nightclub shooting is that "more of them (sodomites) didn't die."

Prepop sez:  See why I got disillusioned with the Baptist Church?  Also... the congregation of the Westboro Baptist Church and their bigotry and hatred.

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Stay in Your Place!

Clemson University has designated certain areas on campus for "prayer."  Such areas are called "free speech areas."

Prepop sez:  The people in South Carolina always seemed so nice to me.  I guess they just like to keep things neat and orderly.  Although, I just read where scientists at the University of Utah have discovered that saying prayers has the same effect on the brains of the religious as having sex, and maybe college administrators are trying to get sex confined. .

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True Believers?

The Week magazine reported last year that men are more likely to report believing in God after having sex.  "The act causes a surge of the hormone oxytocin, which promotes social bonding, altruism, and spirituality."

Prepop sez:  The effect on women is still being studied.

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Keep it Christian

Some constituents in Alabama have been warned by their state representative to stop patronizing stores owned by non-Christians, who "use their profits to help destroy our way of life."

Prepop sez:  I've mentioned before how much I think of those Christian Yellow Pages published in Pennsylvania.  You may not think so, but I think that people who shop based on such a book are extremely bigoted.

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Honesty

An Episcopal priest in Massachusetts was dismissed for plagiarizing his sermons.  He got them from a convenient book called:  Dynamic Sermons.

Prepop sez: I've known for years that it is common practice for most preachers to get their sermon ideas from books they have not written.  But... usually, they do not copy the sermons verbatim as the Massachusetts priest did.

Of course, plagiarism does not matter anymore since the First Lady gave her speech.

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The New Religion?

The Week magazine reports that Pope Francis has launched his own Instagram account with the user name of Franciscus.

Prepop sez:  What about Tweets and Facebook?

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All Life is Precious

The owner of a vegan restaurant says that cockroaches can stay, because killing other creatures is out of the question for people who believe as he does.

Prepop sez:  I recall reading that cockroaches are a great source of protein.  I think there was a WWII movie about Prisoners of War, where starving guys were saved by unknowingly eating cockroaches.

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Prayer Heals All!

The Week magazine cites the mayor of Jackson, Mississippi telling the residents that its many potholes can be fixed by prayer.  He is quoted as saying:  "Moses prayed, and a sea opened."

Prepop sez:   Dream on, your honor.

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Enough!

Sex and Gender (R rated)

Sunny and 80 degrees.  Mr. Bluebird is still knocking on our windows and a yellow butterfly  accosted me today.  Omens galore!

What are the three things that public speakers are warned never to talk about?  That's right:  RELIGION, SEX AND POLITICS.  Today, I think I will talk about SEX (and gender).. and mention some situations that have caught my eye during the last few years.

Smell Dating

A matchmaking service in New York City allows customers to find mates by sniffing sweaty, unwashed T-Shirts and Underwear.

Prepop sez:  Those of you who watched Orange is the New Black recognize this example of ingenuity.  But, instead of sweaty T-shirts, the ladies would offer unwashed panties for perv inspection.  Good moneymaker for inmates for a while.

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Nosy Professors

The University of Southern California provided students  with a class about sexual consent.  However, the professors got carried away and required all students to confess their sexual histories including information about frequency, number of partners, and the usage of condoms.  The students were not amused.

Prepop Sez:  This was probably a great means for male students to fib a bit.  I wonder if they also taught this at Trump University.

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An Understanding Man

Chuck Shepherd reports in the Funny Times for May 2017, that an Oklahoma state Representative proposed a bill to require a woman seeking an abortion to first  identify the father, because his permission would be "crucial."  The Rep said that the woman is "basically a host who invited that (fetus) in."

Prepop sez:  Just... unbelievable!

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A Woman's Place...

I'm looking at a picture printed in Reminisce magazine a while ago.  It shows a mother with seven (count 'em) daughters.  Each daughter, of course, is beautiful... but each is shown holding a toy "iron" atop an ironing board.

Prepop sez:  Yes... little girls always had their toy irons to play with back in the "old days."  This was because they were supposed to grow up to be happy ironing their husband's clothes.   Does anyone iron anything today?  "Hubbie, iron your own god-damn clothes yourself!"

Elaine tells how her ex-husband did not realize she was little-by-little  getting rid of his clothes that needed ironing and replacing them by "no ironing" stuff.   She did not want to spend her time ironing, like a lady she knew who even ironed her husband's underwear.

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El Presidente and Friends

Prepop sez:  I found this item in The Week magazine for September 4, 2015. Think about it, in light with things going on in 2017.  I am quoting it exactly.

"...GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump resumed his war with Fox News Host Megyn Kelly, saying her show was better when she was on vacation and retweeting an attack that she was 'a bimbo.' Fox News chief Roger Ailes called Trump's comments 'crude and irresponsible' and demanded he apologize."

Ah... Mr. Ailes and now Mr. O'Reilly.... and soon........

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Abundancia!

A Washington state high school senior was denied entry to her prom because of her big breasts, which apparently were "bustin' out all over" her strapless dress.  They made her wrap herself in a shawl, which embarrassed her so much she left.

Prepop sez:  Breast reduction should not be an option unless there is a medical reason for it.  Women have breasts for a basic reason.  To suckle a baby.  At least that is what I have always been told.  It's hard for me to imagine being a woman, but I think that if I were, and if I had big breasts, I would revel in the fact and enjoy being so feminine.

One of my bosses at Social Security told this story.  He was in charge of thirty ladies who were using key-punching equipment.  They would use a typewriter keyboard to place information into punch cards for computer usage.  These ladies were under 100% review and their pay was based on how accurate they were. .

Statistics showed that one lady was amazing.  She could punch hundreds of accurate cards during the morning hours, but in the afternoon, her output slowed perceptively and her accuracy was very low. The boss was concerned, so he tried to  watch this lady work and see what the problem was.

He discovered the reason for her problem.  She had pendulous breasts and as the day went on and she got a little tired, she would slump in her chair and her enormous appendages would fall on the keyboard, causing typing errors.  He said that he solved the problem by giving this lady extra break periods so she would not get so tired.

Kind of Similar?  An article in The Week magazine mentioned that a German bank employee dozed off on his computer keyboard's "2" and "turned a transfer of 64.2 euros into a transfer of 222,222,222.22 euros -- $293 million."  I suspect that this error was detected and fixed quickly.

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In a Gender Quandary 

The City University of New York has advised its professors to stop referring to students by gender words, such as Mr or Ms, so as not to offend persons who "identify as neither."

Prepop sez:   What do you do?  Use their first names?  Call them:  "Hey you!"  "Gospodeen?"  "Citizen?"    "My fellow American.?"

I give up!

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ACROSTIC Puzzle

Nice sunny Spring day.  Bushes with multiple white flowers align our side porch.  When we first moved in.. many moons ago... as now,  such flowers popped out and hundreds of bees would be in attendance.  This year... not even one!  Please come back, bee friends... I'm sorry if I offended you in some way.

ACROSTIC

For over 40 years, I have been working on a type of puzzle called an Acrostic. Over that period of time, a team has continually produced those puzzles.(In fact, I think that they invented them.) That team consists of two marvelously intelligent  persons:  Emily Cox and Henry Rathvon.   Somewhere I have their pictures.  When I find them, I will scan them into this blog.

I love Acrostics, because to solve one of them, you have to rely on your Crossword Puzzle ability and also on your knowledge of the English language and its word and letter frequencies.. and that is how I get my "kicks."  Each Acrostic consists of a literary quotation, and the first letter of the solutions indicates the author and the title of the work.

The Sunday New York Times publishes one of the team's Acrostics every other week, and I look forward to some hours of rather difficult, but pleasing, solving. I'll admit to having to look up one or two words by Google sometimes, when I get stuck.  But, I never give up. And I always learn something. (This Sunday's quote advised us on how to pick up a sting ray.  Sorry, but I don't think I'll ever be doing such a thing.... however, if you want to know... you stick your fingers into the ray's breathing slits and pick it up like a bowling ball!)

To give you an example of some of the clues and solutions and what I have learned from them, I'll let Prepop loose.

Clue: Foxy sort of person
Sol:    SLYBOOTS

Prepop sez:  This is a rather common word in Britain, but I had never heard of it being used here.  As the clue indicates, it refers to a sly, tricky person.

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Clue:  Boy adventurer with his faithful dog "snowy."
Sol:    TINTIN

Prepop sez:  TINTIN is the boy in a comics series by Belgian cartoonist Herge.  His chatty dog, Snowy (actually named Milou in French) carries on a dialogue with readers.

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Clue:  Name of a pillar near the Dead Sea.
Sol:    LOT'S WIFE

Prepop sez:  Ah.. yes, we got a little biblical here.  The pillar must be at least 5 feet tall and pure white in color.

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Clue:  What do Chance, Drake and Future all have in common?
Sol:     RAPPING

Prepop sez:  I had no idea about this one and spent a lot of time trying to figure out what those words had in common.  Finally, with the help of Google, I became acquainted with Chance the Rapper, Drake the Rapper, and Future the Rapper. (Hey... what about Jack the Ripper?)

How come these guys don't have last names?  I'm sorry to confess that RAP is kind of grating on my tired old ears.  How about a little Frank Sinatra instead?

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Clue:  Who put who on first?
Sol:     ABBOTT

Prepop sez:  This was an easy one if you remember the baseball shtick of Bud Abbott and Lou Costello.  But, of course, if you were not around in the middle of the last century, you probably never heard of these guys.  The routine was very funny.... well.... you had to be there.

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Clue:  Din creator.
Sol:    KIPLING

Prepop sez:  Cute.  Of course, Rudyard Kipling and his famous poem:  Gunga Din... "You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!"

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Clue:  Aimed at eggheads.
Sol:    HIGHBROW

Clue:  Race with high foreheads.
Sol:    KLINGONS

Prepop sez:  Kind of related clues.  Spock was only half Klingon, so his brow and forehead were not so high as they could have been if he had been pure-bred.  (Wait a minute... was Spock a Klingon or something else that I can't remember?  I'm getting old.)

OK.. I was wrong... Spock was half human and half Vulcan!  Sorry about that.

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Clue:  Where the white witch was done in.
Sol:     NARNIA

 Prepop sez:   C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of NARNIA consists of seven "fantastic" novels that have never caught my fancy.  I have always thought that these stories were a little "juvenile."  Am I being snobbish in that?   I have tried to read stuff by Lewis many times, but his prose swiftly makes my eyelids shut.  I am going to try to read him again soon because I would like to know why he went from being a loud atheist to becoming a devout religious person.  (I was once attracted to his "Screwtape Letters" and have managed to read some of that material.)

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Clue:  1979 Director of Nosferatu
Sol:     HERZOG

Prepop sez:  Werner Herzog directed Nosferatu the Vampire in 1979.  This was a remake of the 1922 German film: Nosferatu.  This German film was an unauthorized telling of Bram Stoker's marvelous book:  Dracula.   In the film, Count Dracula is renamed Count Orlok, but most of the film mirrored Stoker's book.

Stoker's family heirs were  not impressed and sued. The court ordered all copies of the film destroyed.  However, a few copies survived and the film was released in the United States in 1929.  It was a big hit.

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Enough.. go and try your hand at an ACROSTIC puzzle.  And have some great fun!

Spring: el Sissi; Extreme Vetting; Protesters; VP Pence; Jared; Melania; Bannon

Happy Easter!  Sunny and 85 degrees!  Greenery and flowers everywhere.

The Joy of Spring

Lots of the 200 onion sets I planted on the deck are almost ready to be pulled and eaten.

Mr. Bumble is accompanying me on the deck.  He thinks he is scaring me with his big phony eyes... but I know that he can't sting, so he doesn't scare me in the least.  It's funny though... sometimes he will fly around to the side windows and bang against the glass.  And every couple of days, he will show up in front of the car when I am getting ready to drive off.  He's a consistent cuss!

He's a carpenter bee and I could plug up his round hole in the wood under the deck, but that would not be nice.

Every day now, a crazy bird bangs itself against the colored glass panels leading to the deck.  He must see his reflection in color and thinks its a mate to be.  Somewhat sad.

Chickadees have claimed one of the birdhouses on our side porch, but we are not seeing babies yet.

When I see the beauty all around me during this glorious Spring, I  forget all the crap that is going on in the world..... but after a while, it all comes rushing back to me... like this:

Politics: 

News Report:  Egyptian Leader meets with the President

President Trump met this week with "hard-line Egyptian President Abdel-Fattah el Sissi.  Trump: "Abdel, you're doing a fantastic job fighting the Moslem Brotherhood."  Abdel: "Donald, I have a deep admiration of your unique personality."

Prepop sez:  "Birds of a feather flock together."

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News Report:   Extreme vetting of tourists from the U.K. and France  is being considered

President Trump promised to implement "extreme vetting" in order to prevent terrorists from entering the United States.  The "visa waiver" program would be a good place to start.  The U.K. and France are among 38 countries that participate in that program.

Prepop sez:  Donald,  you've got your head up your ass!  Such activity would kill our tourism industry.
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News Report:  Louisville protesters can move ahead with their lawsuit accusing Trump of inciting violence at a campaign rally.  

The President would like to have the lawsuit dismissed on free speech grounds.

Prepop sez:  I seem to recall that Trump pointed to the protesters and said, "Get them out of here!" or words to that effect.  His supporters then figured it was okay to attack.  Sounds like Nazi Germany to me.
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News Report:  Vice President Pence is faithful to his wife

Mike Pence refuses to eat alone with a woman not his wife.  He also will not work alone with a female.  He also will not attend mixed group parties with anyone other than his wife.

Prepop sez:  I applaud Mr. Pence for being faithful to  his wife, as I was all of my married life.  However, what is this fear that he has of women?  It seems as though he is afraid that he will succumb to temptation if it is placed in his way.  What a boon this might be for the Russians.

Just picture this:  The Vice President finishes a meeting in Paris and enters his hotel room, where, laying on his bed, is a naked prostitute, who rushes to embrace him.  Hidden Russian cameras record the scene and suddenly Mike is open to blackmail.  (Sound familiar?)

Also... through my many years, I have encountered many hypocritical bastards who pretend to be virtuous Christians.  ("Hello, Honey, I won't be home until late tonight.  The President has given me a special assignment that has to be done as soon as possible.  I can't tell  you about it... it's top secret.")

This is just conjecture on my part, I'm sure Mr. Pence is as truly religious and virtuous as he says he is.  But, you know, DC is chock full of lovely ladies who are intrigued by men of power.  I hope Mike doesn't get trapped into a situation where he is alone with a tempting female and gives in to his basal urges.
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News Report: Jared Kushner given lots of important White House jobs

President Trump wants Jared to make the White House into a wonderful business, pleasing to its customers.  Meanwhile, he is being sent to Iraq to settle the fighting over there and while he is at it, he is tasked with bringing peace to the Israelis and the Palestinians.

Prepop sez:  NEPOTISM!  But Jared obviously does not have the experience to be a Secretary of State... and the public does not consist of "customers."  Mr. Trump and his 'royal family" need to realize that they work for us.

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News Report:  The public wants Melania Trump to move into the White House

A quarter of a million citizens have signed a petition demanding that Mrs. Trump leave New York City and move into the White House in DC.

Prepop sez:  I doubt that this will occur.  But we should some how see that it happens.  Right now, it costs $150,000 each day to protect her and Baron in the Big Apple.  But, of course, who would want to leave a beautiful penthouse mansion that has gold toilet seats for a house that's seedy looking and hundreds of years old?

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News Report:  Steve Bannon was bounced by Trump from the National Security Counsel 

Supposedly, he and Jared don't get along and this triggered the "firing."

Prepop sez:  Well, maybe he is gone from the National Security Counsel, but I've seen pictures of him this week poking his nose into military action meetings.  I would feel much batter if he were dumped completely from the White House.  Come on, President Jared, get rid of that clown!"

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Enough!

Seven Funny Little Guys

Sunny and 60 .. nice spring day.  Elaine's daffodils are blooming, both the yellow only ones as well as the ones that have a pink middle.

As I look out the back door, I see green busting out all over... and it isn't even June!  What a wonderful time of the year..... except.... its time to pay 2016 income tax and send off estimated payments for 2017 taxes! C'est la loi!  Oy!

So.. just to cheer myself up, and am going to post some pictures I have drawn.  See if you remember the characters... I might have them mixed up.

                                                                               DOC

                                                                           BASHFUL

                                                                        GRUMPY

                                                                             HAPPY

                                                                               SLEEPY

                                                                            SNEEZY

                                                                                   DOPEY

Here's a  picture of the whole group.  (I didn't draw this one.)

Wasn't that a great movie!  My Aunt Marjorie took me to see the movie when I was either 4 or 5 years old, and I remember hiding my face when the wicked step-mother talked to her mirror.

Bigotry; Vandalism; DNA; Lies; Perfume; Bigfoot and Friends

Sunny and 83 degrees.  All the tree buds are popping!

Lots of miscellaneous stuff from various "The Week" magazines:

What are we teaching our kids?

At a robotics conference in Indianapolis, some Latino and Black fourth graders won a contest and were greeted with "Go back to Mexico!"  You know that these heckling kids have to have heard this crap from their parents.  They probably feel that President Trump would approve.

And what are our Assholes learning?

John Rivello, 29 years old, sent epilepsy triggering data to Trump critic, Kurt Eichenwald.  Unbelievable!

This news is very depressing to me.  Every day, something gross happens in the United States to stir my juices.  As Steve Bannon believes, we are in for an 80 year decline.  He is trying to make such a situation come true sooner than later.    How can we get around such worrisome thinking?

Genetic mixture

Well, it's true.  DNA has shown that Neanderthals and Homo Sapiens "swapped spit."  So, now I know why my "beetle-browed" buddies look like that.

Speaking of DNA

My son submitted a DNA sample and the results showed that I really am his father.  I had no doubts about that, but he is so much better looking than I am, some people were wondering.

Alternative Facts

Jonathan Swift: "If a lie believed only for an hour, it hath done its work."

The Future is (already) here

For $350, one can purchase a "Commuter Jacket."  If you bike to work, this piece of clothing can allow you to take phone calls, check on the time, and even get directions, by "swiping" and tapping here and there on this piece of clothing.  I would have thought that this technology was new, but I read where ski clothes with iPod controls have been around for about 14 years.

Prrrrr!

Want to smell like a "cuddly kitten?"  Demeter Fragrance Library has just the perfume for you.  It also has scents that can make you smell like popcorn, and earthworms.  The  best perfume now available is called "Fuzzy Balls,"  and smells like the air emitted from a "freshly opened can of tennis balls."

I told you they were real!

If you get to Portland, Maine, make sure you visit the International Cryptozoology Museum. Here, you can find information on all kinds of "cryptids".. these are creatures like the Abominable Snowman and Bigfoot.  In addition to data on these beloved humanoids, there is information on non-human creatures, like "Nessie."  Also, if you like hoaxes, there are displays about Jackalopes and the like.

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Ramblings with Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me; Plus a Scenario

Another sunny and warm (60's) day in beautiful Carroll County, Maryland.

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!

I learned a lot this week from WWDTM, such as:

El Presidente

Mr. Trump was really working at the White House last week, as he tweeted.  The picture that looked like he was golfing in Florida was just a snapshot of him watching the Golfing Channel.

Mr. Trump has a deathly fear of "drink coasters,"  not "roller coasters."  Pictures of him pushing coasters away was cited.

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(By the way.... this is MY scenario about things that have occurred recently... in fact, it is just guesses on my part:

Mr. Trump says to three of his loyal followers: "Get some information together that appears to VINDICATE  me in the ongoing investigations.  Show it to me and make any changes that I feel are necessary.  Order the head of the House Committee to come over to the WH  to see it. He seems like he isn't too bright.. just the kind of dupe we need.

Impress upon him that it is secret stuff and that it VINDICATES me!  Order him to let the Press know that he has seen stuff that VINDICATES me..and tell him to come quickly back to the WH to tell ME about the material that you showed ME, and which I altered a bit..  After that, let him give another vague press conference... and then, tell him to cancel his incriminating advertised hearings. Oh... by the way,  I am going to order General Flynn to ask the committees for IMMUNITY  because after that, what he says about me or my friends will be poopooed as coming from a disgruntled employee... otherwise, why would he ask for IMMUNITY?"

Note:  This is just ME trying to make sense of confusing activity.

By the way. again.. .. was it Bob Woodward who recently said that there is an awful lot of smoke coming from the WH... and you know the old adage.  Is it the same Bob Woodward who was sent to North Korea for discussions... and maybe to get him out of Mr. Trump's hair?  DISTRACTION?  I'm probably wrong on this.)

Other Stuff

Surprise!  Rocky Mountain Oysters are not seafood! (But of course, you knew that.)

Tyranasaurus Rex (sp?) was a great lover.  He spent a lot of sexual energy "snout rubbing."  Now.. as Paula Poundstone always asks:  "How the hell did they figure that one out?"

We know that China is in the forefront of technological investigation, so this comes at no surprise:

China is using cameras and facial recognition software to target toilet paper thieves!  They had put restrictions on the number of sheets of toilet tissue that could be used in public rest rooms.  Apparently, providing toilet paper for a country so large is not "chump change."  But, of course, there are always going to be persons who break the rules.. and they should be caught.... "La Loi c'est La Loi!"

(Incidentally, I read somewhere that the cost of toilet paper at the Empire State Building for just one year is over a million dollars!)

Many moons ago, Chinese farmers tried to outdo each other by placing bigger and better outhouses on the edges of their fields.  Why would they do that?

Aha!  Very clever.... passersby would use the nicest toilets and thereby deposit lots of fertilizer material to be used to increase the nice farmer's vegetable output.  (and of course there was no such thing as toilet paper many moons ago. What did they use? Paper money?  They did not grow corn. ??)

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Do you remember the German "Honey Wagons?"

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