Brexit; Tough Old Lady; Bullies; Lizzy Borden; Orange; Computer Mistakes; Special Recipe

Well, here we are again.  We decided not to leave today.  Too much stuff to do.  Of course, you know that you should never let your online "friends" know that you are not to be home for a little while, but, we live in a "nosey village,"  where neighbors look out for you and your home.  As far as crime is concerned, we live in the safest village, in the safest town, in the safest County in Maryland.


BREXIT!

A big mistake! In my humble opinion, leaving the European Union is not wise.  And.. it doesn't help my stocks any... all down quite a bit today.  But, I will not jump out of any windows.   At least not yet.  I wonder what this will do to Mr. Trump and his British finances... and his hidden Income Taxes.

Little Old Lady?

Today, I read a story written by a fellow Mensa member twenty or so years ago.  (Name:?  I'll let you know.)  Anyway, this is the gist of the story:

A nice fragile little elderly lady lives alone.  She takes care of her house carefully, trying not to tax her old bones.  Her exercise is to rock on the front porch and to take out a small amount of trash every few days.  She is a very pretty old lady who has a niece who comes to visit her and look after her important needs.  In short, she is living the uneventful life of a typical senior citizen.

However, one day, she suddenly spots an interloper in her front room!  A man with a gun pointed at her.  He asks for her money or he says he will shoot her.  Suddenly, the lady's bravery vibes jump up and overcome her fear vibes.  She tells the man to look into her purse on the kitchen table and get money out of the pot on the high shelf in the kitchen.

While the man is getting the money, she reaches over and grasps her sugar jar.  She sprinkles sugar all over the floor.  Then she sits back in a sofa chair.  A noise outside startles the crook and he comes running back into the front room, slipping and falling because of the sugar on the floor.

In the fall, he bangs his head against one of those doorstops that old ladies keep in their houses.  This knocks him out.  The lady looks at him and notices his bloody wound.  She goes to the nearby cabinet, opens it up, and takes out a hammer.  She comes back to where he is lying unconscious and mashes the wound spot hard with the hammer.  Goodbye Mr. Crook.

She then takes the hammer to the sink, cleans it off, returns it to the drawer and takes a seat in the front porch rocker, waiting for somebody to walk by.  Somebody she can call over to help her.
.

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This story reminded me of three things:

1.  Remember my story about Walter and Richard, the bully team who punched and kicked me in the head when I was in Kindergarten?  Do  you remember how I solved that problem?  Yes.. I put a nice round dent in Walter's head with a ballpean hammer while he and his brother were beating me up.  Walter and his brother ran home crying for their mommy, and I never got bothered again.

2.  Lizzie Borden took an ax,
And gave her mother 40 whacks.
When she saw what she had done,
She gave her father 41.

They never found the bloody ax, so in a case that sounded just like that of O.J., Lizzie was found innocent.

3.  The new "Orange is the New Black"...  well,  you have to see the latest episodes.  Will Lollie blab?

Computer Mistakes

M.K.Wolfe, in the Funny Times for June 2016, outlined some mistakes that software made when transcribing Medical Doctors' notes.  Here are a few that I liked:

Doctor dictated:  Dr. J. removed her pins.
Transcribed:        Dr. J. removed her pants.

Doctor dictated:   It was postponed due to logistics.
Transcribed:         It was postponed due to lipstick.

Doctor dictated:   The patient currently lives in a facility.
Transcribed:         The patient currently lives in the Philippines.

Doctor dictated:    The patient had a biopsy of his rectum.
Transcribed:          The patient had a biopsy of his raccoon.

Easy Summertime Recipe

Miss Elaine's (Vaughan)  Old Fashioned Cheese Ball

8 oz. cream cheese
1 stick margarine or butter
1/2 T. Maple Syrup
Garlic powder or garlic salt to taste

Cream all thogether

Roll in chopped nuts (peanuts, walnuts, or your choice)


(My son made this for a small party recently.. it tasted great!)

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SuZee

This is a catch up entry for yesterday.

I tried very hard to get our Siamese cat SuZee into a carrier to get her to the vets in the afternoon.  After being bitten and scratched, I could no longer hold her and she bolted for the basement and her favorite hiding place, which I have never been able to find.  So, Plan B goes into effect:

SuZee stays in charge of our house for a fortnight... with extra food and water... as well as an extra litter pan so she does not poop all over the floor.  Meanwhile, I have to get moving, so I will end this quickly.. but with pictures of SuZee, so you can see what a menacing animal she is.

Mr Five by Five;Political Comments; Sorcery; Fitbits; Barbie Types

Nice day.  I woke up dizzy in the night and have been fogged in all day.  This is just like the hangovers that I experienced many years ago, except that I had only had two beers last night.  Besides my fogginess, I managed to get most of my packing done for our fortnight in North Carolina.

Mister 5 x 5

"He's five feet tall and he's five feet wide,
He don't measure no more from his head to his toe
Than he do from side to side.

But he's a mellow hepcat."

So says the Andrew Sisters on the XM station that I am listening to..

I love these old songs.  When I hear them, they bring back lots of memories. 

And I can recall most of the lyrics.  Not like the song I heard a while ago.. the lyrics were:

"Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby"  and sometimes, "Oh baby,  Oh  baby, Oh  baby."  Well at least there would be no problem for the "singer" to memorize those lyrics.

I always wondered about some opera singers who had to learn a number of languages... Pavarotti sang in Italian, English and Spanish.  I'm not sure if he tried German or not.  Sometimes after an opera there will be credit given to the "Italian Coach"  or  the "German Grammarian."

Comments on the Current Political Scene

"Lord, Lord, how this world is given to lying."  Falstaff ...  King Henry IV

"If  'CON' is the opposite of 'PRO,' then is 'Congress' the opposite of 'Progress?'"  Scot McDonald

"He who slings mud, loses ground."  Adlai Stevenson

"It's not so easy to play the clown when you've got to run the whole circus."  Hawkeye's Conclusion

"What thin partitions sense from thought divide."  Alexander Pope

"Every man is said to have his peculiar ambition.  Whether it be true or not, I can say, for one, that I have no other so great as that of being truly esteemed of my fellow men."  Abraham Lincoln

Interesting Facts

The Funny Times for June 2016 published some of Harper's Index for May 2016.  I was quite interested in reading three of the items.

o  I was surprised to learn that Saudi Arabia has been executing people for sorcery for a few years. I would really like to read about the cases.  Probably quite different from Massachusetts some years ago... but maybe not.

o  I was also surprised to learn that  Oral Roberts University now requires Freshmen to wear Fitbits.  I'm glad that the school's current reading of the Bible allows for the usage of computerized things.  I would like to see the quote that authorizes it.  Or, maybe it is ok because it is not included as one of the Ten Commandments.  (But how about:  "Thou shalt have no other Gods before me."  or words to that effect?)

o   Hey, Mattel Toys now uses four different body types for Barbie.   Let's see:

1  Skinny model type

2  Housewife comfy type

3  Dolly Parton Type

4  Kardashian Type

Bye Bye

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Tonails; Trump; New Bedford Scallops; North Carolina; Global Cooling; Bosom Buddies; Beer and Snacks; Pangrams; Palindromes

Nice day... but a few thunderstorms. 

I planted a lot of flower seeds, including sunflowers, hollyhocks, and blue morning glories.  I don't expect much.. it was a lot of old seed.  I just would like to have some little jungles of color for the birds.  I still need to separate all the small tomato plants.

Today.. Dr. Diamond cut my toenails and we kibitzed about the Donald.  How the hell did Trump get so far along?  I think it was Maureen Dowd who said that he just wanted to be in a few primaries so that he would have an influence on the Republican Party... however, when he actually won a primary or two.. his gargantuan ego kicked in and made him want to really be the President.  Possibly true.

We ate supper with our friend, Rose Marie at our dining "venue".. Hey.. I got to use that word!  Wow!  Am I getting a little snobbish?  Anyway, the ladies had fish for supper, and I had New Bedford scallops over cous cous .. with asparagus on the side.  Yummy!  And I finished the meal with a piece of chocolate peanut butter pie and a cup of decaf (of course) coffee.   Very nice.

Travel

We'll be packing for our North Carolina trip beginning tomorrow.  Can't forget to take our birth certificates if we want to use a public rest room.  Meanwhile, remember what George Carlin said:

"Why do they lock gas station bathroom?  Are they afraid someone will clean them?"

Global Cooling

Jackie Allison wrote in the June 2016 Funny Times that her family combated cool weather as follows:

o  we kids played in a special room that needed no fuel to heat.. it was called "outside"

o  we kids wore coats

o  we had trees that cooled the house in the Summer

o  we had trees that protected the house in the Winter

o   our trees had leaves that fell in Autumn and were composted

o   our compost helped us grow tomatoes in the Summer

o   we also kept warm in Winter by shoveling snow

o   we ran to the store for groceries

o   we walked to the bus stop

Make a Clean Breast of It

The Week magazine writes about a Maryland woman who likes to go "bare-breasted" whenever and wherever she can.  She has photos on her blog: "Breasts are Healthy."  She says that "Going 'bare-chested' is still a powerful act for a woman, especially when done quietly, confidently, and peacefully."

Snack Time

Chuck Shepherd writes in the Funny Times that two tractor-trailers collided in Melbourne, Florida, and their contents spilled out on the road.  Drunken observers reported that one truck was carrying Busch beer and the other Frito-Lay products.

Pangrams

Pangrams are sentences which use all 26 letters of the alphabet.   I published three of these back in 1983.  I haven't found any more of them since then.

o  A quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

o   Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.

o   Waltz, nymph, for quick jigs vex Bud.

Palindromes

Palindromes are different from pangrams.  Palindromes are sentences which say the same thing from front to back.  Also, from my publication in 1983... four examples.

o  Live not on evil.

o  Some men interpret nine memos.

o   Niagara, O roar again.

o   Was it a car or a cat I saw?

And of course, we all remember these old palindromes:

o   Able was I ere I saw Elba.  (Napoleon's lament)

o   A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. ( Teddy Roosevelt's idea)

(My brother Joe probably has lots of other examples.  He's a word expert.)
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Restraining Order; Pet Burial; Frog Sex; Hillary; Computer Age Vocabulary

Nice sunny day. 

Suit against God

Last week, I mentioned a The Week magazine contest to find an advertising slogan for a law firm seeking to represent people with divine grievances.  This sprung from the suit filed recently by an Israeli man, saying that he was "fed-up with the Almighty (for) treating him harshly and not nicely."  He asked for a restraining order.   The winning advertising slogans were published in the June 3, 2016 The Week issue.  If you are not able to get that issue, here are the slogans:

3rd  "We don't answer to a Higher Authority."

2nd  "The Lord giveth, but we taketh away."

(This could also have been a good motto for Reverend Ike to use.)

1st  "Hallowed be thy claim."

(Do you remember what the first grader said when asked about his prayer words.  "Harold be thy name.")

Headlines from Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me

o  New Yorkers Can Now Be Buried With Their Pets

o  A Seventh Sexual Position for Frogs has Now Been Observed

(.. the music swells to Burl Ives singing "Froggie went a-courtin'")

o  "Stairway to Heaven" Music has been Plagiarized.

o  Cowboy lasso's Bicycle Thief from his Horse's Back


Politics

Cartoon in the June 2016 Funny Times.. Cartoonist: Horsey in the LA Times.

Man and woman arguing about the election:

Man sez:  "I will never vote for Hillary!  She's the same as the Republicans!"

Woman sez: "Oh yeah, EXACTLY the same...except for:

Supreme Court nominations
Global Warming
Pro-Choice
Gay Marriage
Guns
Voting Rights
The Environment
Iran Nuclear Deal
Healthcare
Food Stamps
ETC"

New Words to Use

The Readers Digest quotes viralthread.com that some new words are available now to use in 2016:

o  epiphanot: an idea that seems like an amazing insight to the conceiver but is in fact pointless, mundane, stupid or incorrect.

o  internest:  the cocoon of blankets and pillows you gather around yourself while spending long period of time on the Internet.

o  textpectation:  the anticipation felt when waiting for a response to a text.

o  unkeyboardinated:  when you are unable to type without repeatedly making mistakes.


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Fathers' Day "Poem"

Note.. the crab picture is in the last blog entry... this entry is for

                    FATHERS' DAY

In today's Carroll County Times, "Annie's Mailbox"  printed out a "poem"  that I like.  The author is unknown, but the piece appeared in the Danbury, Connecticut News Times some time ago.  Since some of you may not have access to the Carroll County Times, I would like to copy the item here, for you.  

4  years old:  My daddy can do anything.

7  years old:  My dad knows a lot, a whole lot.

8   years old:  My father doesn't know quite everything.

12  years old:  Oh, well, naturally, Father doesn't know that's either.

14  years old:  Father"?  Hopelessly old fashioned.

21  years old:  Oh, that man is out-of-date.  What did you expect?

25  years old:  He knows a little bit about it, but not much.

30  years old:  Maybe we ought to find out what Dad thinks.

35  years old:  A little patience.  Let's get Dad's assessment before we do anything.

50  years old:  I wonder what Dad would have thought about that.  He was pretty smart.

60  years old:  My dad knew absolutely everything!

65  years old:  I'd give anything if Dad were here so I could talk this over with him.  I really miss that man.




So true! (I think)  Remember what Mark Twain might have said:  "My father was so dumb when I was a youngster.  It was amazing how smart he became as the years went by."

Re: the Illustrated Interview of the New York Times

This is a "catchup" entry for Saturday, 6/18/16.

The glitzy New York Times so called "Style" magazine "T", is a very quick read for me, with it's full page air-brushed photos of overpriced jewelry, condos, and skinny ladies in ugly, (but "stylish") clothing.  However, they have one page called "The Illustrated Interview,"  where people that are too well-known for me to have ever heard of them, answer questions with words and drawings.

I will try the interview on myself.. with drawings that I have made over the years.

01.   Please draw what you look like.

02.  What do you fantasize about?

03.  If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

04.  What was your favorite childhood toy?

05.  What is your favorite toy now?

06.  What scares you?

07.  What "Game of Thrones" character do you relate to?

(Having tried to avoid this bloody show, I have only read about it.  So, I'll guess.)

08.  Which musician has most influenced you?

09.  What would you like your final meal to be?

Sorry... I can't answer that because I am constantly on a diet.

But... I do like Baltimore-style steamed crabs, like I will be enjoying on Father's Day.  Just like my in-laws shown below.

Thanks  for looking at my pictures. 

Dictator Quotes; Animal Intelligence; Lover's Lament; Aging Milestones; Monthly Contests: Beer Names

Nice coolish day with lots of sun.  Rained in the night.

Politically Correct Quotes

The New York Post reports that a Pennsylvania school district (Quaker Valley)  allowed quotes from Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, and the head of ISIS to be printed in a high school yearbook.  Students who purchased the books can get a refund or get stickers to cover up the quotes.   The quotes in question:

o  Hitler:  "Words build bridges into unexplored regions."

o  Stalin:   "Ideas are more powerful than guns.  We would not let our enemies have guns, so why would we let them have ideas?"

o  Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi: "Be just: The unjust never prosper.  Be valiant. Keep your word, even to your enemies."

What do  you think?  Are these quotes corrupting?  Nothing from Mr. Trump?

Goosey Lucy

The Week magazine reports that as an officer sat in his squad car dosing, a tapping on the door of the vehicle got his attention.  It was a goose, and it was insistently tapping with its beak.  The officer guessed that he was supposed to follow the goose, which he did. The goose (a mama) led him to a little gosling that was all tangled up with string.  The officer cut the string and released the baby goose and mama and baby waddled off happily honking their thanks.

(Just another instance of animal intelligence.  For more displays of animal intelligence, read:

Are We Smart Enough to Know How Smart Animals Are? by Frans de Waal

The Genius of Birds  by Jennifer Ackerman

Jilted!

Massachusetts farmer Newton found an unusual rock on his land.  Chiseled on it was this jilted lover's lament:

Cap. John M. Brown.  Born at Stratford Hill, Cheshire:  Oct. the 4th 1809. inscribed upon this rock April the 9th, 1878:  "May God Bless Susan and All Her Barren Land.  And When She Gets To Heaven I Hope She Finds A Man,"

Alchemy, kind of...

John used to be a chemistry teacher. He still enjoys the odd experiment now and then.  One of his favorites is taking beer, whiskey, bourbon, scotch, gin, vodka, and wine.. and turning it into urine.

Milestones

These great accomplishments are usually achieved at the following ages:

3:     Not peeing your pants.

5:    Starting Kindergarten.

16:  Having a driver's license.

18:   Being able to vote.

21:    Being able to drink.

65:    Being able to retire.

75:    Having a driver's license.

80:    Not peeing your pants.

The Week Magazine on May 27th, 2016 talked about two contests that they ran:

1.  An Israeli man asked for a restraining order against God for treating him "harshly and not nicely."  The magazine was looking for an appropriate title for this story... but not me, I'm just anxious to find out what happened to the guy.  Elaine has taken over the next issue, so I won't find out for a while.  If  you know, please let me know.

2.   The second contest related to Budweiser renaming their "watery near beer"  .. It will now be called "America."  I'm sure the people in the town of Budweiser, Czechoslovakia, are glad to get that junk removed from association with their city.  Meanwhile, the Week magazine asked you to imagine that you wanted to use "an equally manipulative" name for the beer coming out of your imaginary brewery.   The winners were:

a.  United Stouts of America

b.  Uncle Sam Adams

c.  Foam of the Brave.

Wow!  Great entries!  Wish I'd thought of them.

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Contemplation; A Gamey Throne

Coolish, sometimes sunny day.  Nice breeze from time to time.

A Gamey Throne

I have my own bathroom.. nobody else uses it.  It needs to be cleaned.  I'll get to it.  Meanwhile, today, I am playing James Joyce's "Leopold Bloom,"  sitting on my "throne" and thinking.

There is a little ant that lives in my bathroom... I see him scurrying around, a small creature in what to him must be a large universe.  This is a "piss ant"..  Texans like President Johnson liked to call people that he didn't think much of (like Robert Kennedy) piss ants.  And, I've heard it said in the music from the "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas"  when telling folks how insignificant that business building was.

Dear Mr. Piss Ant, where's your mama?  Where's your daddy?  Are  you all alone in this big world?  Do you like your simple, single life?  Where do you sleep?  When do  you sleep?  Do  you sleep?

Do you eat?  What do you eat?  (I'm afraid of the answer.) 

Elaine thinks that I should "squish" creatures like  you.   Why?  As far as I can tell, you are not harming anyone.  You don't own a gun... you don't kill people.  Do you know I am here?  I know that when I bang on the floor hard, you stop and start running in a different direction.  So, you must have good ears.  And your eyes must be good too, because I don't see you bumping into things.

But, do you have a working brain.  Descartes said:  "Cogito, ergo sum."  If you think, do you know that you have a reality?  How small can your brain be?  Does the size of a brain mean anything at all?

Man has a pretty large brain..  most whales have larger brains... especially the Blue Whale, whose tongue weighs as much as a bull elephant.  And that same elephant has a large brain.. and scientists have found out that besides "never forgetting,"  they also mourn the loss of a relative or friend.

This reminds me of the story about the flea who married an elephant.  He spent all of his life digging a grave for when his wife would die.

I like to think that little creatures have working brains..  we know that mice do..  butterflies?  Do all of the world's creatures have brains?  What about the creatures that live in our guts?  Billions, maybe trillions of bacteria call our bellies home.  This was not really considered a possibility until not many years ago.

I just read about a doctor in a teaching hospital in Vienna who was concerned that 80% of the women who gave birth in his operating room died, while those who had babies at home had only an 18% mortality rate.  Why?  And then he thought it through and came to a conclusion that we, in our enlightened age probably would think of right away.

The interns studying at his hospital were attending cadaver class just before the start of their birthing class, where they delivered babies.  This was a while ago, when germs and infections were not very well, if at all, understood.  These interns would come into the birthing room without washing their hands and in stained clothing.  Aha!  This was the problem.  Germy creatures causing infection.

Once the doctor started requiring his interns to clean up before birthing, the mortality rate dropped to the 18% average.

Johns Hopkins doctors were also in the forefront of sepsis (is that the word?)

Back to our little friend... Mr. Piss Ant, do you have bacteria in your gut?  Do you get stomach aches? Do you have a version of the flu?  Do you think about dying?  Perhaps this is only a human thing, although I just read that chimpanzees and elephants may, indeed, think about dying.  I also read recently that goldfish miss their owners when they go on vacation.

And, Mr. Piss Ant, do you see me... this giant on the throne... am I your God?  Do you pay homage to me?  I did not study biology or anatomy in High School or College.. so I do not really know how you are put together... somewhere in the back of my mind, the word "thorax" lingers...

If you have a sophisticated brain.. do you know or care that two black holes have recently collided?
Do you know about Manteen?  Hillary?  Donald?  Bernie?..  You are so lucky not to have to "live" in this mad world that is so external to your reality.  For my part though, I love the world I live in, even though I can't say that I love or like a few of my fellow humans.  On the whole, though, my world is a playground and I hope to keep playing in it for a little while longer.

So, Mr. Piss Ant.. I hope that you do, indeed, have a working brain and are aware that you are having a good life.  I surely hope that I don't accidently step on you and destroy your reality.

Your friend, Prepop.

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Orlando Shooting and Alligator Tragedy; Presidential Talk; MENSA Disability; Scrapple Champion; Detective Trivia

Mild day with periodic rain.  Good for the plants I think. 

Spent all morning calling Doctors and Insurance Companies.  It's what you have to do often when you are an old dude like me.  I'm just glad that I am still able to do things.

Orlando

Shooting

I heard the President speak about it yesterday.. that man has a gift.  He is the epitome of a President.  Hillary did a good job also.  But, Mr. Trump, he flunked out.  I just can't imagine him presiding over this country. 

I feel so sorry for the victims of the shooting and their family.  I admit that I tear up when I listen to reports about it.  I heard the Senate debate gun control today.. the Senators agree that nobody needs an assault rifle... will they do something about it?  I doubt it.  The NRA is too powerful.  How about a Constitutional Amendment that revises the second amendment?  It's time.

Alligator

Another tragedy..  a two year old boy possibly eaten by an alligator at a Disneyland pond.  OMG! What next?
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How about a change of pace?

What Good is a MENSA Membership?

Chuck Shepherd reprises a Funny Times story from 1997:

A gentleman sued the New London, Connecticut police department for discrimination.. they said that he was too intelligent to become a cop.  He had scored extremely high on a department intelligence test and the department heads thought that a person with such intelligence would quickly get bored with police work.  A  U.S. District Judge agreed with the department and dismissed the case.

This MENSA Member did Good!

The Week reports that Nigel Richards won the French-language Scrabble World Championship, even though as a New Zealander, he could not speak French.  Instead, he memorized all the words in a French dictionary.  WOW!

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Hey.. how about some Crime Scene Trivia?

Q:  Who is considered the "father of the detective story?"

A:  Why, that is easy.. it's Baltimore's own Edgar Allen Poe. ( You know that his grave is downtown. For some years, every year, to celebrate Poe's life or death.. a mysterious stranger would leave a bottle of booze on his grave at Halloween.  I don't think anyone ever found out who the "culprit" was. )
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Q:   Who created Inspector Wexford?

A:    Ruth Rendell.  (This is a new one on me.  I'll have to learn about the good Inspector.)
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Q:   Name the two main characters in Stieg Larsson's Millennium trilogy.

A:   Lisbeth Salander and Mikael Blomkvist.  (I've read these books, but I'll be damned if I remember much about them.  Fun at the time though.)
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Q:  Which novel is considered the first detective novel in the English language?

A:   Wilkie Collins's  The Moonstone.  (I read this book, but I thought that the author's name was Willie Conklin.  Oh well... )
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Q:   In how many Arthur Conan Doyle novels did Sherlock Holmes appear?

A:   Holmes appeared in 4 novels and 56 short stories.  (When I had leg wounds that would not heal, I spent a lot of recuperation time reading Sherlock Holmes stories... even those that were not written by Doyle.  My Kindle is filled with the stuff.  I may have read all of the novels and most of the short stories..)
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Q:  When and where did Holmes stories appear.

A:   They appeared in the British Strand Magazine during the Victorian era.  Sidney Paget, was an illustrator whose illustrations of Holmes and Watson "iconicized" the pair.
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Q:   What was the name of the detective in the lead story of a Detective Magazine in 1948?  And what was the author's name.

A:   Joe Vaughan... the author was my friend, Courtney Gilbert.  (I've been searching for that issue for years.)

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Cardio; Mr. Won and Mr. Tieu; Terrorism Study Group; Mayberry, NC; Shotgun Wedding

Nice sunny Summerish day.. with rather low humidity.  The air is nice and fresh.

I just got back from my second cardiologist's appointment... I passed with flying colors.. so to speak.  My next cardio session will take place in September.. when I will meet with cardiologist number one and cardiologist number two... at which time I will have an echocardiogram.  Wow.. what fun!

(One and two... reminds me.. several years (ages?) ago, I was called upon to meet with a Mr. Won and Mr. Tieu, social insurance analysts from Viet Nam (I think).. I've written about this before in a blog entry.. but over the years the experience gets dimmer, I'm sorry to say.   Anyway, I showed Mr. Won and Mr. Tieu how Social Security controlled its computer projects.  I gave them examples in nice thick binders... they were very excited to get it... and, I've been told,  my examples are still included in their manuals... many many years later... just like the situation with a couple of computer programs I wrote in the 1960's.. I've been told they are still being run.  So... these are my legacies.. and will be enshrined in the archives of the infamous "Joe Vaughan Fan Club."

On a serious note... this morning I attended a session on Terrorism at the Maryland Crime Prevention Offices.  Some statistics enlightened me a bit, but did not surprise me:

In 2014 (worldwide):

o  There were 14,000 terrorist attacks.

o   There were 35,000 injuries from terrorist attacks.

o   A total of  33,000 people were killed in terrorist attacks.

o   More than 10,000 people were kidnapped by terrorists.

The Top Terrorist Groups in 2014

o   ISIL

o   The Taliban

o   Al Shabaah

o   Boko Haram

o   Maoists

What can be done about terrorism is the United States?

We need to become nosey neighbors again.  If something doesn't look quite right.. we need to report it to the police.  The motto will now be: 

"SEE SOMETHING - SAY SOMETHING!"


Okay.. let me change the subject:

Where is Barney when you need Him?

Chuck Shepherd reported in the Funny Times that Betty Lou Lynn, 83, was mugged and had her wallet stolen in her new hometown of Mount Airy, North Carolina.   You probably remember Lynn as Thelma Lou, Barney Fife's girl friend in the Andy Griffith TV show.  She had lived in Los Angeles for years, and in 2007 she got fed up with the crime rate in LA and moved to Andy's peaceful hometown, which was the model for the TV town of Mayberry. 

Don't let this stop you from visiting this great place.  I've written about their Andy Griffith museum and the area set up to honor the Siamese Twins, who settled here and founded the Bumpus Clan, which is a vital part of the citizenry here.

Ping!

Betty Lou would have been interested to learn about Paula W., who was arrested in Wisconsin for hitting four pedestrians with projectiles.  Paula had an arsenal in her car... a blow gun, a slingshot, and a bucket of rocks.  She told the police that she just liked to hear people say "OUCH!"

Daddy, No!

There's a wedding chapel in a town in the  U.S. (Mayberry?) that caters to senior couples getting married, by helping them feel like  youngsters again.  For an extra charge, the minister hires a guy to dress like the bride's father and threaten the groom with a shotgun.

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New Words; Professions; XMAS; Fitbit Cheats; Politics; Mr. Trump; Armpits; Churchill and Atlee

Sunny, 70's and mild wind.  Nice day.

The news is terrible and very depressing.   Let me try to  change your mood a little.

New Words

M. D. Rosenberg lets us know about a few in the Funny Times:

o  Mallzheimer's Syndrome:  The inability of a shopper to remember where they have parked in a  shopping center parking lot.

(When we first moved to Westminster, we went shopping at Belk's Department Store.  When we got through, we exited and did not see our car anywhere.  Someone mentioned that perhaps we had exited from the wrong door.  So, we went back in and went through another exit... no car there as well.  Just when I was about to call the police, a nice lady advised me that there were three exits to Belk's.

Sure enough... there are three entrances and exits.. and they are situated so that you can't see one from the other two.  We found our missing car and were happy again.)

o  wuzband: a former husband; an ex-husband

o   nagivator:  a bossy person who rides in the passenger's seat and gives directions to the driver.

Westminster, Maryland Professions

Dr. Barber is an opthalmalogist

Dr. Mechanic is a dentist.

Dr. Glaeser is an optician.

Christmas Time Stuff

FLASH!  The Mensa Bulletin reports that all of Santa's reindeer are female.  This is true because all of Santa's reindeer have antlers, and male reindeer lose their antlers in Winter.  Females keep theirs so they can protect their young.

Wisdom of Bart Simpson

"Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas?  You know, the birth of Santa."

Fitbit Cheats

Some companies have been giving their employees Fitbits and then having competitions to see who can get the fittest and earn a prize.  However, some of these companies are finding that employees cheat sometimes, for instance:

o   One cheat tied his Fitbit to his dog's leg.

o   One cheat tied his Fitbit to his ceiling fan.

o   Another cheat tied his Fitbit to his hamster's wheel.

o   Another cheat tied his Fitbit to a reciprocating saw.

Perhaps they should give a prize for the most innovative cheat.

Politics

A recent survey by Public Policy Polling found that among those with a favorable view of Donald Trump.....

o  65% believe that President Obama is a Muslim.

o  59%  believe that President Obama was not born in the United States.

o  24%  believe that Justice Antonin Scalia was murdered.

Wisdom from Donald Trump?

Alonzo Boden sez he learned this from the Donald:  "If you make it up, nobody can argue with you!"

Keeping Up With Soviet Bloc Women

Chuck Shepherd writes in the Funny Times that some American women are dying their armpit hair. The New York Times even cites a website: Free Your Pits, that says that preferred colors are turquoise, hot pink, purple and neon yellow.

Two things immediately struck me when I was sent to Europe in 1953 for the Air Force:

o  All of the little kids had rosy cheeks.  (Not many rosy cheeks could be found at that time in the U.S.)

o  Many of the young girls and women did not shave their armpits, and American deodorants had not yet made an impact on the female market ... at least that was my observation in Germany and France.

Naughty Ancient Political Joke from Great Britain

Churchill went into the men's room and Clement Atlee was already at a urinal.  Churchill went way down to the back of the  room and to the last stall.  Atlee said: "What's wrong, Winston?"

Churchill said: "Well I was afraid because I've noticed that every time you see something very large, you try to nationalize it."



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Pocket Hercules

This is a catch-up for Sunday 6/12/16:

Horrible slaughter of innocent people in Orlando, Florida. Why?  Senseless killing.  Meanwhile, the world continues in its circle.

Pocket Hercules

The New York Times reports that Manohar Aich passed at age 103.  Manohar was merely 4' 11" tall, yet he became Mr Universe in 1952, at age 39.  His regimen was simple as was his diet.  He never drank alcohol or smoked, and his diet was always rice, fish, vegetables, lentils, fruit and milk.   His exercises consisted of repetitions of dand (push-ups) and bethak (squats.)  He did thousands of these each day.  How he got his bulk without resorting to steroids or heavy weightlifting equipment is amazing.

If Mr. Aich had lived in the United States, he probably would have grabbed a movie deal like Big Arnie or at least have gotten jobs praising rice cereal.  Instead, he lived a frugal life, never earning high wages, even when he performed "muscle dancing" while traveling around India in a circus when he was in his late forties. 

It was reported that Mr. Aich never worried about anything and was a very happy person.  One of his sons says that the secret of his long life was his philosophy of "taking everything as it was".. 

RIP MR Aich.

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Shopping Carts; Be-Bop; Napoleon; Yosemite; WWI; WWII; Dirty Politics; Voting Reasons

Note... nostalgia stuff was in yesterday's blog entry.

Today... close to 90 degrees and sunny.  One of our tomato plants is trying to reach the sky.  It also has three yellow flowers... maybe we'll get some early tomatoes.    Simon Squirrel was observed stuffing his jowls with the birdseed that Rocky Raccoon spilled all over the porch. 


June Facts from the Westminster Senior Center Calendar

o  In June 1937, inventor and businessman, Sylvan Goldman introduced shopping carts, in Oklahoma City, and husbands' pocketbooks have been empty ever since. .

o  In June of 1956, Gene Vincent and his Blue Caps released the song Be-Bop-A-Lula.  It reached #7 on the Billboard pop music chart.  (I was in Europe from 1953 to 1956, and so I missed the advent of Rock and Roll.  I heard nothing about it overseas.   When I got back to the U.S. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  I was not happy.  However, I soon got used to it.... a little.)

o  In June of 1812, Napoleon's Grande Armee began its ill-fated invasion of Russia.  About 80% of the 500.000 man army died during the invasion and the retreat.  (That's 405,000 dead bodies, folks. Once again, man kills his own species in senseless wars.)

o  In June of 1864,  President Lincoln granted Yosemite Valley to California for "public use, resort, and recreation."

o  In June of 1914, a Serbian nationalist assassinated Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife.  This event triggered WWI (another senseless war with millions dead.)

o   In June of 1942, a Japanese submarine shelled Fort Stevens on the Columbia River.  Most of the shells struck a nearby baseball field. (One of my childhood friends, Robert Renn, was relocated to New Bedford from California because of the fear that more Japanese bombing was going to occur.  Some hydrogen filled balloons also made it to California and that was scary too.  The Government downplayed the event and the newspapers were apparently advised not to write about it, so that the populace would not get upset.)

Dirty Politics

Maureen Dowd wrote in the June 5th edition of the New York Times, that if you think that this election cycle is crazy.. it's not the first time.. for instance, she quoted Lin-Manuel Miranda of "Hamilton" fame that in the Presidential election of 1800, Thomas Jefferson accused John Adams of being a hermaphrodite and Adams responded by spreading a rumor that Jefferson had died.

Also in  the same edition of the New York Times, Justin E. H. Smith talks about the assurance that Donald Trump is not Hitler.  May I quote the last paragraph of his excellent article:  "It's true that Donald Trump is not Hitler.  But the fact that the comparison is a recognizable part of our new political landscape, and that the man at its center is not actively seeking to prove it wrong, shows how severe the current crisis is, and hints at how dark the future might get."

Voting  Reasons

The following facts help me decide who to vote for in November.

The Far Right wants to:

o  Curtail the rights of LGBT people.

o  Reduce access to Birth Control.

o  Put Creationism into science classes.

o  Have churches advocate for political candidates.

o  Block judicial nominees.

o  Overturn the Affordable Care Act

o  Disenfranchise certain voters.


OKAY... vote for me instead!

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A Month in the Life of Elaine and Joe Vaughan

Sunny, upper 70's and breezy.  Nice day.

Today, I thought that I would do something different.  As an interesting (I think) gift to my children, I want to list a month's worth of events in the life of the Vaughan Family at 3411 Farmstead Drive. So, if you are not a close relative of mine,  you might want to skip today's blog entry.  However, if  you are interested in what an average family did in the 1980's, take a look.

The Year:  1982..  The Month:  May

5/01  Marie Lister began working in the office of Westminster Motors. She lied about her age, because they did not want to hire someone who was eligible for Social Security benefits.

5/02  I spent some time fixing a busted out porch screen.

         I also glued and painted the front doors with epoxy.

5/03  Millie E. (SSA) says my reconsidered back pay claim has left her office approved.

5/04  Elaine and I had an anniversary dinner (25 years) at the Westview Lounge.  Unfortunately, the food was over priced and overcooked.

         Elaine ordered a new bedroom set.  (By 6/01, it had not showed up.. so what else is new?)

5/05  Henry Drumheller. and I submitted a checkpoint/restart microplan to our boss, Ralph DeAngelus.

5/06  We had a small celebration for Freud's birthday at SSA.

5/07   This was Brahms and Tchaikovsky's birthdays.. but we didn't have a celebration for them.

          We had a presentation for Marty Holtz and presented him with a Bert Mellinger bow tie and movie portfolio and a Porky's poster... and... a check for $2,942. 

Marty was speechless for the first time in his life.  Lots of people showed up in the Multipurpose room.  We had lots of cookies and salad and Elaine's famous peanut butter frosting cake.

Prime movers in the Marty fundraising effort were Esther Mandel, Doris Broderick and the Foster Parents group at SSA.  Also Norm Youskauskas and the SSA Theatre group.  

Marty looked fit and tanned up and plans to return to work in a few weeks.

5/09  Mothers' Day.. Elaine got clothes, a plant, a blue vase and something else, I can't remember.

        The mower deck brace broke.
         I finished the porch screening job and painted the porch.

5/10  The Falkland Island fighting continues.

         Ron S's pain returned after months of relief.

5/11  Ron H's father, who  had emphesema, contracted the flu and then pneumonia and passed at age 62.  He had worked in Systems before I got there and retired shortly after I began there in the 1960's.

5/11  Our kids treated us to a wonderful anniversary dinner at Hausners.

5/12  I put the Citation into Larry's for an $89 rip-off tune-up.  It runs worse after the so-called tune-up.

5/13  I put the mower deck into Western Auto for a new brace and two new blades.

5/14  Diane has a new boy friend... John Cole... a friend of Bob Clark.

5/15 -5/16  My cousin Charlie Kraihanzel and Pauline visited.

5/15  We took Pauline and Charlie to Hausners for their wedding anniversary.

5/16  I tilled the garden again.

5/16  We bought a used dining room set at a yard sale for $500. 

5/18  One of my employees, Rose F. got a High Quality Increase award.

5/19  Diane got an "A" on  her Fortran final exam.

5/19  Got a flat tire on the Citation.  Probably from climbing the curb a week earlier.  Can't be fixed.

5/20   I bought 2 new tires at Ezrine.. $144.

5/20-5/21  Elaine attended a class at a Towson Motel:  ADP for Secretaries and Clericals (yes, she aced it)

5/22  I picked up the fixed mower deck... $33.

5/22  Chris helped out at the regional gymnastic meet.

5/22  Elaine's "non-boil" began again.

5/23  My long lost Brother Joe's son Brad graduated from High School.

5/23  We let Chris go to see the "Conan" movie even though it's an "R".. because Big Arnie is in it.

5/23  We  got our first small red strawberries.

5/24   Elaine's proofreading class began and will last until 6/04.

5/24   Chris began a new weightlifting program.. also diet.. more protein.

5/25   We all helped the Cindy Lane guy deliver our new (but used) dining room set.

5/26   I put a $40 deposit on a Beta VCR.

5/27   Diane got an overall "B" in Fortran.

5/27   Lou Peters and his enamorata and Bernie Kurta and his wife visited New York to see Warren
Witmer who is very ill with cancer.  (3 packs a day smoker)

5/27   The son of Joan K delivered the VCR we bought for $400.  He sold it because he needs $200 immediately or he will lose his car. He's been laid off for a while.

5/28   Tevis came and fixed an oil smell and cleaned the oil burner.

5/28   Two young guys fixed our roof for $80.

5/28   We changed health plans from Blue Cross to NAGE.  Hope we made the right move.  We'll have to join that union.

5/29   Today would have been JFK's 65th birthday.

5/29   We drove 237 miles to Fairmont, West Virginia, to visit with Brother Joe and his wife Linda.  As I expected, they are very nice people!  This was half way between our house and their Ohio home.  We took the Plymouth because the Citation runs so lousy.

5/29   Joe and Linda gave us a nice whale book and some butterflies.

5/29   We ate at Muriale's Station Restaurant.. and Brother Joe got mad when they automatically gave him a senior discount.  Hey, they do it to me all the time.

5/29   Linda told me more about my "supposed" father, Joe Balestracci.  She had been talking to my mother and she said that my mother insisted that Joe  was my father.

5/30   We drove back to Maryland, stopping at a yard sale along the way... of course.

5/30    As we left West Virginia, we noticed that the 17 year locust were out in force.. all over the sidewalks... and noisy as hell.

(By the way, for some reason, Elaine's allergy didn't appear in May, but waited until June 19th, when it started quite mildly and didn't get too bad as long as she kept medicated.)

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