The news is terrible and very depressing. Let me try to change your mood a little.
New Words
M. D. Rosenberg lets us know about a few in the Funny Times:
o Mallzheimer's Syndrome: The inability of a shopper to remember where they have parked in a shopping center parking lot.
(When we first moved to Westminster, we went shopping at Belk's Department Store. When we got through, we exited and did not see our car anywhere. Someone mentioned that perhaps we had exited from the wrong door. So, we went back in and went through another exit... no car there as well. Just when I was about to call the police, a nice lady advised me that there were three exits to Belk's.
Sure enough... there are three entrances and exits.. and they are situated so that you can't see one from the other two. We found our missing car and were happy again.)
o wuzband: a former husband; an ex-husband
o nagivator: a bossy person who rides in the passenger's seat and gives directions to the driver.
Westminster, Maryland Professions
Dr. Barber is an opthalmalogist
Dr. Mechanic is a dentist.
Dr. Glaeser is an optician.
Christmas Time Stuff
FLASH! The Mensa Bulletin reports that all of Santa's reindeer are female. This is true because all of Santa's reindeer have antlers, and male reindeer lose their antlers in Winter. Females keep theirs so they can protect their young.
Wisdom of Bart Simpson
"Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa."
Fitbit Cheats
Some companies have been giving their employees Fitbits and then having competitions to see who can get the fittest and earn a prize. However, some of these companies are finding that employees cheat sometimes, for instance:
o One cheat tied his Fitbit to his dog's leg.
o One cheat tied his Fitbit to his ceiling fan.
o Another cheat tied his Fitbit to his hamster's wheel.
o Another cheat tied his Fitbit to a reciprocating saw.
Perhaps they should give a prize for the most innovative cheat.
Politics
A recent survey by Public Policy Polling found that among those with a favorable view of Donald Trump.....
o 65% believe that President Obama is a Muslim.
o 59% believe that President Obama was not born in the United States.
o 24% believe that Justice Antonin Scalia was murdered.
Wisdom from Donald Trump?
Alonzo Boden sez he learned this from the Donald: "If you make it up, nobody can argue with you!"
Keeping Up With Soviet Bloc Women
Chuck Shepherd writes in the Funny Times that some American women are dying their armpit hair. The New York Times even cites a website: Free Your Pits, that says that preferred colors are turquoise, hot pink, purple and neon yellow.
Two things immediately struck me when I was sent to Europe in 1953 for the Air Force:
o All of the little kids had rosy cheeks. (Not many rosy cheeks could be found at that time in the U.S.)
o Many of the young girls and women did not shave their armpits, and American deodorants had not yet made an impact on the female market ... at least that was my observation in Germany and France.
Naughty Ancient Political Joke from Great Britain
Churchill went into the men's room and Clement Atlee was already at a urinal. Churchill went way down to the back of the room and to the last stall. Atlee said: "What's wrong, Winston?"
Churchill said: "Well I was afraid because I've noticed that every time you see something very large, you try to nationalize it."
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