Music in my head: Even though I said I would quit writing about this.. I wanted to say that all day I have been playing "If I only had a brain" from the Wizard of OZ movie. Why, I wonder.
BLOGS
I was thinking today that after I get all my paperwork sorted out and boxes rearranged, I might start a new Blog setup. As follows:
Monday: Prepop Sez
Tuesday: Jokes
Wednesday: Social Security
Thursday: TRIAD
Friday: Joe Reads the News
Crime Does Pay, at least in Richmond, California
The Funny Times reports that officials in Richmond learned that most of the city's crime was committed by the same 17 people, they decided to pay those clowns to behave themselves. This costs about $1.2 million a year, but it must be worth it because Richmond is no longer considered one of the most dangerous towns in America and its murder rate has fallen from a high of 62 to a low of 11 last year.
I wonder if any other cities have thought about trying this. Another way, and a bit cheaper, would be to hire a hitman to eliminate these 17 people completely. That might be an action that a President Trump might take... in my humble opinion.
Sleepy Time
That slick magazine beloved by the young, restless and dangerous among us, The Red Bulletin, reports that a study has discovered that people who sleep between 6.5 and 7.5 hours per night live longer than those who sleep for 8.
Using a Fitbit now, one can analyze one's sleep pattern and make adjustments if necessary and possible.
Tidbits from my Standup Comedy Routine... several years ago.
Wife: "You never notice what I wear."
Husb: "That's untrue, try me."
...The next night, the wife asks:
"What am I wearing that's different?"
Husb: "New stockings? (no) New hat? (no)
I give up, what is it?"
Wife: "I'm wearing a gas mask."
Wife: "Honey, I can't get the car started. I think it's flooded."
Husb: "Where is it?"
Wife: "In the swimming pool."
A woman goes to her psychiatrist and says: "Doctor, I want to talk to you about my husband. He thinks he's a refrigerator."
"That's not so bad," says the Doctor, "it's rather a harmless problem."
"Well, maybe," replies the lady. "But he sleeps with his mouth open and the light keeps me awake."
Q. How many wives can an American man have?
A. 8
..... huh? yes, 4 richer, 4 poorer
Did you wake up grumpy today?
No, I let her sleep.
A man who thinks he is more intelligent than his wife, is married to a very smart woman.
My friend, Sid Simon says: "I've been thinking about the 'hereafter' a lot lately. Every time I go into a room, I say to myself: 'What did I come in here after?'"
I hope so, because there are no mirrors in the rest rooms.
I gave my girl friend $5000 to get plastic surgery. Now I don't know what she looks like and I can't get my money back.
What'll you have, sir?
A bowl of chili and a few kind words.
Here's the chili.
How about the kind words?
Don't eat the chili.
....When I told these jokes at a Toastmasters meeting, the two ladies there took great offence and accused me of disparaging women. I apologized... for what pray tell? I did not tell them that my wife had given me the jokes about women, and really liked my routine. Oh well.. uneasy wears the crown... or something like that.
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