1. Revenge
Hunter: I read somewhere that a geese hunter was a bit surprised when a goose he had shot landed on top of his head.
Insulter: The Week reports that a chubby teenager bought up every cupcake in a bakery after hearing a lady in back of her in line remarked: "Let's hope this fat bitch doesn't buy all the cupcakes." That reminded me of the following.
Music Lover: When I returned from years of Air Force duty in Europe, I put a coin in a restaurant record machine to hear Eartha Kitt sing: Santa Baby. A grouchy looking fellow customer said something derogatory about black singers. So, I pumped in 10 more coins so that he and I could both enjoy a whole hour of Eartha.
2. Sex
Bestiality: The Louisiana State Senate recently passed a bill outlawing bestiality. Ten Senators voted against it! (Well, now we know what they do in their spare time in Louisiana.)
Hard Act to Follow: Penis Baba, a Hindu holy man is able to pull a compact car 100 feet using a towrope attached to his male member. He attributes this feat to "the power of God .. the power of devotion." (and probably a bit of Viagra.)
3. Trump
Conscience bother you? A 67-year old man died due to a fire on the 50th floor of Trump Tower in New York City. Why didn't the sprinkler go off? Well.. it wasn't necessary to have one on "older" buildings like Trump Tower. (Trump and other developers successfully lobbied to have a New York sprinkler requirement not apply to their pre-1999 buildings. Yes, it was said by them to be "unnecessary and expensive.")
4. Religion
Massachusetts Legacy: I just completed a Great Course about the famous Massachusetts thinkers: Emerson, Thoreau, and others. I was reminded that in my Grandparents' home where I grew up, there were only two books, kept reverently. One was The Progress of Julius and the other was Emerson's Essays. Both books made a great impression on me, and probably are responsible for the way I think about things.
I did not read Thoreau until I left home, but I always had a feel for the "native life" .. communing with nature.. and a few years ago I was able to visit Walden Pond. So, I was interested in a study that found that the pristine nature of Walden Pond has been attacked by swimmers "peeing in the pond." Did Thoreau pee in the pond? Of course not!
5. Music
Carousel: I loved this musical years ago. Now it is making a Broadway revival only in a slightly different way. The leads are of different races. Why does that matter? It doesn't. It's the voices that matter. When the leads sing "If I loved you!" I have always cried. Sorry. I confess. Just as I cry when Mimi dies in La Boheme, so I cry when I hear Billy and Julie belt it out.
Billy: If I loved you
Julie: But you don't.
Billy: No, I don't.
But somehow I can see just exactly how I'd be...
If I loved you.
Time and again I would try to say
All I'd want you to know.
If I loved you,
Words wouldn't come in an easy way.
Round in circles I'd go.
Longin' to tell you but afraid and shy,
I'd let my golden chances pass me by.
...
Even writing those words, the tears come to my eyes.
Why is that? Because tough guys do cry at times, and as this tough guy gets older, he cries more often. That's life, my friend.
(Thank you Mr. Rogers and Mr. Hammerstein.)
6. Guns
Are You Carrying? A Nevada woman refused to sing the Star Spangled Banner before a ball game because a metal detector would reveal the gun she carries with her at all time.
(Unbelievable!)
IMHO
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