Deja bus
Recently, a Greyhound bus driver lost his way on a trip from Ohio to New York. Passengers got a little alarmed when they saw the same gas station over and over through their windows. The driver, who was (as women say: a typical male) refused help from passengers with GPS apps and he finally completed the run, although he was 4 hours late.
I recently gave up and decided that I will now fully utilize the GPS system in our van, rather than get lost, as I did a couple of times so far in 2018.
How could I have ever gotten lost, because all of my life I have been blessed with internal maps.. it started when I was given a two-week stay at Camp Royal Ambassador, in Maine. A friend's father drove us up and through Boston, and I was able to guide him through the Boston mess, and then guide him back home at the end of the stay. (I think I was 12 years old.)
Yes, I know, I need to tell you how I got lost two times in 2018.
First: My granddaughter, Adrienne, was getting married on an out-of-the-way farm in Pennsylvania. I decided that we should do a dry run to get there, so we would not get lost on the wedding day.
Carefully plotting the way on a map and following good signage, we made the trip in under one hour.
So, now that we had done the trip successfully once, we should have no trouble getting to the wedding on time. Wrong! In one of the small towns we went through there was a fork in the road. This time, I took the wrong fork and we ended up lost and late for the wedding.
In a panic, I used my cell phone to call my son, Chris, to see if he could give me directions from where we were. Chris said: "Don't you have GPS?"
Holy cow! Yes I did, even though I had never used it or felt that I needed it. But now.. being lost, I decided to get baptized in my GPS System. Bingo! It gave us instructions that allowed us to get to the wedding only 45 minutes late... and they had held up the wedding for us.
Now, I said to myself: Dumb Ass! Start to use the GPS. Lose that stupid pride!
Last: I attended a function in Glen Burnie, Maryland and I asked myself: how hard could it be to get there without the GPS? No problem. I rolled right along and got there in plenty of time. However, the return trip boggled my mind.. I thought sure that I would have no problem reversing my arrival channels. Dump ass again! For a trip that would have taken me 45 minutes, I spent 90 minutes acting like that Greyhound driver. I hope that I have now learned to stifle my pride and use my GPS.
BORING! Yes, I know.
In the Buff Stuff
Some Florida folks are asking the police to stop one of their neighbors from mowing his grass or washing his car in the nude. Is there a Constitutional amendment for this?
Once, my late wife and I were asked to deliver an important package to an acquaintance who played for the Boston Symphony. We tracked him down to a seaside cottage across town. My wife and I knocked on the front door of the cottage and when it opened, we saw what probably was half of the Boston Symphony artists playing their instruments in the nude.
There was police blotter notice about a woman who complained that her neighbor walked around his property in the nude. When the policeman went to investigate, he noted that there was a fifteen foot fence all along his property. When he asked the woman how she could see the nude man when the high wall would block anyone's view. She replied, "Well, if you stand on a ladder, you have a good view."
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