Another old blog entry.
(I must have been on a large dose of caffeine when I wrote this. Hidden in its lengthy depths I mention AARP, Social Security. NARFE, Crosswords. Spelling Bee, Acrostics, British Cryptics, Lasix, plus an FBI-firing joke and a famous blonde joke. Whew!)
2016
Earlier in the day, I attended the AARP Chapter board meeting, and we took a whole hour trying to decide how to get members. This is a problem that even the Lions, the Elks, and the Moose are having. People don't join organizations like they used to.. and senior citizens are watching their pocketbooks because there was no Social Security increase this year. I feel sorry for those folks who depend just on SS for their food and lodging.
I only stayed a little time at the NARFE meeting (Retired Federal Employees). One guy, who used to work in the FBI told me that one of the top management persons was fired for telling this joke.
Bill and Hillary Clinton attended the first baseball game of the season, where the President gets to throw the first ball. As it started, suddenly Hillary was flying through the air. The baseball manager then said to the President..."Sir, I just said to throw out the first pitch.. not the first bitch."
I'm sure this is a favorite joke with Republicans right now. Of course, with a small amount of doctoring, it could be used by either party for whatever family is chosen to lead the good old U.S. of A.
Our NARFE meeting is at Bullock's country restaurant and their fried chicken is out of this world. I ate two of them today and took a couple more home for Elaine to enjoy. I also went off my diet a bit and had a fantastic peach turnover... probably a zillion calories.. but man..it is good!
Puzzles
This week started out great for my puzzling hobby. I solved two extremely difficult word ladder puzzles. Next, I found 20 words could be formed from a small pot of letters. That classifies me as a "genius" for this puzzle... that was one short of the number that the creators came up with. I've been getting better on that type of puzzle.. it is found weekly in the New York Times Sunday Edition.
(Now called "spelling bee.")
Also in that newspaper is a very difficult crossword puzzle. I gave up solving it because it would take me two days.. too much time. Instead, I do the Acrostic that they often have. I've been doing those puzzles for at least 40 years.. and the constructors are the same duo that has always done them. If you haven't tried them, you should try... it works your crossword brain as well as your knowledge of word frequency and a little cryptography. Also, a lot of fun.
During the week, I also did a couple of The Week crosswords. They rely on a knowledge of current events... well, kind of. Also fun.
I also did the Nation cryptic puzzle in a couple of hours. A record for me.
Finally, I've been trying to do the cryptic puzzle in the BBC Music magazine. This puzzle, besides requiring a knowledge of British cryptics, also requires a little knowledge of classical music. So far, I have not solved one word! Very frustrating. However, I will stick with it and try to finally solve it completely. And, along the way, I will learn something else about music that I did not know.
Back Problems
Elaine and I both have achy backs, and Doctor Shaw has given both of us prescriptions to have Rehab sessions. We have to work that into our weird calendars. For instance, today, I had 4 different meetings to attend to. There was a little overlap, and I had to give one up. Another problem with all these meetings is that I have to keep leaving to pee. That is Lasix working to eliminate more water from my body. Any way, I'm living with it. I just have to make sure I am always near a rest room.
Blonde Joke
I thought these jokes had gone away, but this one is still lingering... you might not have heard it, so here goes.. it's a little long:
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch some winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa." Again she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer , now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!" He figured that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment, unless she plays, agrees. to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his co-workers and friends. All to no avail.
After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what is the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
...............................................................................................
I think that "Anonymous" sent me this in an email about 10 years ago.
.................................................................................................
Also in that newspaper is a very difficult crossword puzzle. I gave up solving it because it would take me two days.. too much time. Instead, I do the Acrostic that they often have. I've been doing those puzzles for at least 40 years.. and the constructors are the same duo that has always done them. If you haven't tried them, you should try... it works your crossword brain as well as your knowledge of word frequency and a little cryptography. Also, a lot of fun.
During the week, I also did a couple of The Week crosswords. They rely on a knowledge of current events... well, kind of. Also fun.
I also did the Nation cryptic puzzle in a couple of hours. A record for me.
Finally, I've been trying to do the cryptic puzzle in the BBC Music magazine. This puzzle, besides requiring a knowledge of British cryptics, also requires a little knowledge of classical music. So far, I have not solved one word! Very frustrating. However, I will stick with it and try to finally solve it completely. And, along the way, I will learn something else about music that I did not know.
Back Problems
Elaine and I both have achy backs, and Doctor Shaw has given both of us prescriptions to have Rehab sessions. We have to work that into our weird calendars. For instance, today, I had 4 different meetings to attend to. There was a little overlap, and I had to give one up. Another problem with all these meetings is that I have to keep leaving to pee. That is Lasix working to eliminate more water from my body. Any way, I'm living with it. I just have to make sure I am always near a rest room.
Blonde Joke
I thought these jokes had gone away, but this one is still lingering... you might not have heard it, so here goes.. it's a little long:
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch some winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa." Again she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer , now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!" He figured that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment, unless she plays, agrees. to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his co-workers and friends. All to no avail.
After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what is the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
...............................................................................................
I think that "Anonymous" sent me this in an email about 10 years ago.
.................................................................................................
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