Quick Stuff.. Raising Cain, Raising Hands, Initiation, Deer Urine

(Hurricane Ian just made landfall in Florida, with winds of 150 mph!  So, no time to be original.  Here is an old blog entry I thought you might like.)

I just got back from the 2017 awards ceremony for the Maryland Senior Citizens Hall of Fame.  I had nominated Ruth Milligan, and she received her certificate and had her picture taken for the newspaper.

I am now on the Honorary Board for MSCHF and will be meeting with some board members to discuss my "vision" paper.  The main thing left to do is to get County chapters going.  Should be fun.

I just finished my course about Giuseppi Verdi and started on my course about Saint Augustine.  Two professors with strong New York accents share the lectures... one kind of makes me sleepy, but I'll get used to it.  I've now heard 4 lectures and they still have not gone into any kind of detail about Augustine's life... but there are lots of more lectures to go.

Speaking of religion, here is a little story that Peggy Johnson wrote to Readers Digest a few months ago:

"During Bible studies, I asked my fifth-grade students to name the first couple.  they correctly answered Adam and Eve.  But when I asked about the first children, they were silent.  So I said, 'One son's name started with C, for Cain.  the second son's name started with A, for...'  One student shouted 'Adam Junior!'"

Smart kid.

And speaking of kids.... how about this report that was in The Week for October 28, 2011:

"...Evergreen Park High School in Illinois announced that students would be allowed to leave class to go to the bathroom only three times per semester.  Students who need to pee more often will have to make up class time after school."

This reminds me of when I was in grammar school class and was called on to read in front of the class.  I was so shy and had such bad stage-fright that I would do, or say, anything to get out of it. One excuse was...  I have to go the little boy's room.... or, I'm having a nosebleed... or, I don't feel good.   (Perhaps this was why that teacher slugged me in second grade.)

That also reminds me of something my Grandfather Vaughan told me once.  He said that he made up an exclusive club when he was in grammar school.   To get into the club, one had to be subjected to an initiation procedure called "pee more yet."

The initiate was blindfolded and each member of the club would take turns peeing into the initiate's pockets.  Yuk!

Well, that was before the Internet, TV, radio, record players, video games, and the like... therefore they had to improvise their fun.

Speaking of pee: Adam Davidson in The New Yorker magazine for September 25, 2017 mentions  that an Amish gentleman named Elam Lapp, Jr., is one of "America's premier producers of deer urine."  Hunters squirt the urine around to disguise their scent and also to attract bucks, if the urine comes from does.

There apparently is a "nearly undetectable" amount of prions in deer urine. (Prions may be one cause of C.W.D.  or Mad Cow Disease) Even so, fearing prions, some states have banned deer urine, and Mr. Lapp and other deer urine gatherers like him are not politically poised to be able to fight the ban.  This all gets into something called "regulatory capture,"  which I don't want to get into here.

Speaking of deer... here is a picture of a "family" scene that Elaine took through our back porch window.  At one time there were at least 11 members of our neighboring deer family, and once, Elaine saw a doe give birth to three (count 'em!) little Bambis.

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A Little This and That. Postcards and puns.

Looking through some archived material, I found a card from a lady named Cathy that I beat in a Postcard Contest back in 1999.  She was the prior year's winner and did not like losing to me.   The rules said that the prior winner was to provide a trophy to the new winner.  She refused to do so.

Anyway, to make up for it, maybe, she sent me some jokes about dieting:

"You're so fat: when you step on the scale it says 'to be continued.'

"You have more chins than Chinatown."

"When you take the subway, the train gets stuck in the tunnel."

"You have to go outside to put on deodorant."

"They use your underwear for bungee-jumping."

These were printed on a Boomerang Freecard: Amsterdam "You're so fat": Nr. 1 uit een serie van 4 Hate-kaarten.

I used to spend a lot of time communicating with my Postcard Pals.  I sent and received hundreds each month.  The group was called the 1Ksig  ...  a Special Interest Group.. and the 1K just reminds people of when postcards cost just 1K (one cent equivalent) in the British Isles.

Like other fun things.. this group got smaller and smaller... especially when computer assisted communication made the world too small for the postcard sender.  But... I still like to send them when I get a chance. 

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Pre-Halloween words from Richard Lederer:

The latest issue of the Mensa Bulletin had a "punny" article by Richard.  All puns related to the upcoming Halloween season.   I especially liked these:

Re: Dracula "it seems that the sun never sets on the brutish vampire."

Dr. Frankenstein "voted for Al Franken and Jill Stern on the Franken-Stein ticket."

"When the monster rose from the table and spat on the ground, the proud doctor (Frankenstein) exclaimed:  "It's saliva!  It's saliva!"

All right, all right,.... yell at Richard and not me.

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Escape from the White House Madness

To try to find a way to escape all of the madness emanating from our Adult Day Care of a White House (ain't that a "corker?").... I will do a random pick of my files and see if I can find anything of interest to divert our minds.

Slow down, man! You're killing us.

According to The Week for October 28, 2011, a former Target manager was fired for working through his lunch break.  Unbelievable?  Maybe not..

My late wife began work in the Social Security Administration mail room.  She liked to keep busy and did much more than her boss required of her.  The other employees got together and asked her to slow down because she was making them look bad.... and also killing their need for overtime money. She refused, so, what did her boss do... had her promoted and moved out where she could really work and ended up at double the pay grade of her former fellow employees who were still doing their "slow bit."

In my own case, when I became a full-fledged Analyst at Social Security, I was required to do 11 cases a day.  I enjoyed the work, but 11 cases was too many to really allow one to do a perfect job on each.  I did my 6 or 7 without error, but because I did not do 'superficially' the required 11, I was moved to the section that did foreign claims, where there was no minimum requirement.  From there, I went to the Congressional Unit and later I got a chance to become a computer programmer.

So... what is the lesson here?  If one is satisfied to do only that which is required, one will remain at the same level of accomplishment and reward.   I tried to teach this to my kids and I think they learned it well because they all became "over achievers."

Public Speaking

Jerry Seinfeld said:  "According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking.  Number two is death.  This means to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy."


Until 1986, I also feared public speaking more than anything else, including death probably.  After my friend, Allan Kaufman finally got me to go to a Toastmasters meeting, I discovered that I could stand up and speak without shaking in my boots.  Now... you can't shut me up... especially when it comes to eulogies... I get to do a lot of them now that most of my friends are on their "last legs"... like me.


Old Guys Rule!

The Week for October 28, 2011, also mentioned an amazing old guy.  Fauja Singh competes in marathons at Toronto, Canada.  Fauja began running at the age of 89 after his wife and child died.  In 2011, he finished a local 26.2 mile race in 8 hours and 11 minutes.  He was 100 years old!

Now, aren't you ashamed for not getting into an exercise program?

Planet Richness.

The BBC says:  "Atmospheric data suggests that it may literally rain diamonds on Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune."

If scientists can detect this.... why can't they duplicate the conditions here in a laboratory?  Maybe they have... lots of billionaires living in New York City all of a sudden.

Why don't we send Trump to check it all out!

Sexy Rocketman

The Readers Digest for October 2017 cited an article in China's People's Daily that proclaimed Kim Jung Un to be the Sexiest Man Alive.

The Daily quoted an article stating:  "While his devastatingly handsome, round face, [and] boyish charm, this Pyongyang-bred heartthrob is every woman's dream come true."

The article in question was a spoof created by theonion.com.

Did the Chinese folks ever figure that out, I wonder?

Some Religious Stuff from Readers Digest

Halo-head.

Joan Anastasi said: "Our two-year-old, Tess, was sitting quietly in church one Sunday when she became mesmerized by a balding man seated in front.  her curiosity got the better of her, and she shouted for all to hear, 'Why is that man's head coming out of his hair?'"

Sin No More!

Steve Jakin said:  "While standing on line for confession, I overheard a woman whisper to her friend, 'I really don't know why I'm going to confession.  I've been so busy, I haven't had a minute to sin.'"

....

Oh...by the way.. here is something that my son gave me.  I love it.

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Comments from a Grouchy Citizen

FLASH.... a picture just in of the latest White House staff:

I just was listening to Rachel Maddow talk about October 7th, 2016....(one year ago today) and what amazing things transpired on that date:

1.  Hurricane Matthew ravished Eastern Florida.

2.  Our Intelligence Agencies first reported that Russia was involved in our presidential election.

3.  A video surfaced, showing Donald Trump bragging about grabbing girls by their genitals.

4.  John Podesta's private emails suddenly were made public.

All on the same day!  Now... which one of these major events took first place in the news rooms of America and in the minds of our citizens?  Of course... it was the "grabbing" story.  Unbelievable... that lecher is now the most important person in the world!

What is going to happen today?  El Presidente just winked when someone asked him what he meant when he said yesterday that we were in the "calm before the storm?"

And what about Secretary of State Rex?  Did he really call the President a F. Moron?  I wouldn't doubt it, but if so, he will probably be the next cabinet member to get the axe.  I would think that Rex would really like to get out of the job so he can retire and spend some of his hundreds of millions of CEO money.  He's probably saying right now:  "Who needs this S?"

And what about that Indonesian buddy of Trump's who asked the American Copper company for a bribe of 4 Billion Dollars (count'em!)  He finally got caught and will be going to the Goulag or whatever its called in Jakata.   By the way, there are pictures of this guy posing with Mr. Trump, or so I've been told.

Hurricane Nate is making its way towards the U.S after beating up on the Carribean.  Here we go again.

Gun Control?  After the mass murder in Las Vegas, it should be a priority item.  Not a chance while the NRA gives big bucks to our Congressmen.  Let's get a massive march on Washington to denounce the NRA lobby and push our Congress to get off its dead ass and get some common sense rules into the ownership of weapons.  Who the hell needs a "bump" on their rifle... why does any one need a machine gun?

I told this before, but when I moved to Carroll County, I purchased some weight lifting equipment from a guy in Woodlawn.  In his house, next to  his front door was a machine gun!  I asked him why it was there.  He said it was protection for when "the bastards" tried to break in.

Wow!  This guy later moved to Carroll County and is probably the proud owner of lots more weapons of destruction.

"When will they ever learn?!"
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