Cussing, and Some Lessons for Me:
The Week magazine for January 13, 2017 reported on a study from the University of Cambridge that found that people who cuss are more sincere than other folks and also less likely to lie. (Wait a minute... what about El Presidente?)
Researcher David Stillwell says that people who filter out curses also tend to filter the truth. (I don't think I believe this. I think that cultured people watch their language in the presence of other human beings and that so-called "Locker Room Talk" is just the attempt by persons with juvenile personalities to feel "cool.")
Example: A relative of mine, who shall remain nameless, insisted on peppering his speech with 4 letter words whenever he spoke to me, but did not talk that way with other relatives and school mates. I think that because I was a "street kid," I expected him to talk that way. I did not return the cheap talk, but that didn't deter him. I think he felt "free" when he talked like that.
A lesson for me. In high school, one of my school mates was in his late 20's, and was returning to get a high school diploma. He had been in the service, and was studying under the GI Bill.
This guy was very friendly and openly "queer," as we would probably describe him now. People like that were made fun of at the time. In fact, I admit, at the time (before my brain matured a little) I gave him a "limp wrist" and other such gestures. Finally, he said to me: "Joseph, please don't swish, it isn't becoming to you." I took the hint as I absorbed another lesson in human relations.
An earlier lesson for me. I lived in a house with my two older uncles. They had many friends who were always hanging around. They had nicknames for all of their friends. One had a rather large nose, and stereotypically was called "Jew Boy." I can't remember my uncles ever talking in a bigoted way other than this. However, even though I was 7 or 8 years old, it made me uncomfortable.
This guy finally got his friends to give him a different nickname: "whistle britches." This was because he liked to wear corduroy pants that gave off wheezes as he walked. He did not like this nickname, just as he did not like his earlier nickname.
Even though I was 8 years old, I felt I knew this guy enough to call him by his new nickname, and I did. He immediately took me aside and said: "Joe, please don't call me 'whistle britches,' instead, call me by my name, which is Bill." This was for me, my earliest lesson in human relations.
Fun (Silly) Things to Do?
In the Readers Digest for May 2007, Mary Roach mentioned some fun things to do without killing your budget. For instance:
o Launch a message in a bottle with your email address.
o Lie down in a cow pasture. Get the cows' attention first. In a few minutes, all of the herd will "come galloping over and form a tight circle around you, staring down at you with intense bovine curiosity."
o Check the top of a Photo Booth. "People often toss their embarrassing outtakes up there."
Feline Fun
In the Funny Times for August 2017, Chuck Shepherd tells us that the "world's only museum devoted to the house cat" is located in Sylva, North Carolina. Over ten thousand "artifacts" are on display, including "a genuine petrified cat (with whiskers) pulled from a 16th century chimney."
Ornery Cat
The Week magazine for March 21, 2014, mentions that police had to be called to subdue an "ornery" 22-pound cat that had its owners trapped inside their bedroom.
I guess they need to call "Galaxy," the "cat man" who has a great show on the "Animal Planet" network.
Fisherman's Luck
From the Reader's Digest for March 2016: (cited: Prairie Home Companion)
A well-dressed gentleman watched an old man fishing in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old timer inside for a drink. As they had their whiskeys, the gentleman thought that he would humor the old man, so he asked: "How many have you caught today?"
The old timer replied, "You're the eighth."
Hearing Problems
Elaine keeps bugging me to wear my hearing aid. I don't think I really need it, but she does.
Pat Tornatore wrote in the Readers Digest for March 2016 that her dad was having a hard time following conversation, so she told him he needed a hearing aid.
Dad thought that she was crazy and said, "What would I do with a hand grenade?"
Wrongful Conviction
According to Harper's Index in the Funny Times for July 2017, 18 U.S. States do not allow monetary compensation for wrongful conviction.
In Texas, wrongly convicted persons are awarded $80,000 for each year they spent in prison.
In Wisconsin, such persons get only $5,000 for each year. (Better than nothing!)
Nuts to You!
I'm not sure where I got this information, but I'm sure it is true:
Gregg Miller, of Missouri, has invented Neuticles. These are fake testicles for your doggy buddy to wear after being neutered. Apparently 250,000 dog owners have spent more than $100 each on a pair for their pets, "not including the cost of surgery."
Enough!
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