OUR "CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL"

Just as probably most of you, we live with lots of creatures (mostly small.)  Let me tell you about ours.

SuZee

As I've mentioned before, we live with a sophisticated and beautiful Siamese cat named SuZee.  She was born in a barn, the only survivor of a fox attack.

She is an indoor cat because if we let her out someone would steal her.

Siamese cats were once raised to guard queens and their jewels, and SuZee fulfills those inherited duties by laying in the doorway of Elaine's bedroom at night to make sure nobody bothers her as she sleeps.

She doesn't like intruders in our domain and runs to hide until the interlopers leave the premises.

However, she loves our wonderful helper, Kathy and pouts until she shows up each day.

COOKIE

I've mentioned the little creature that lives under the side boards of my bathroom.  I named her Cookie just for fun, after a North-end New Bedford girl who tried unsuccessfully to steal me away from my beloved Elaine. 

She sees or hears me come into the bathroom, usually at 3 AM.  At which times she stays quietly near me as if to say "Hello again, Mr. Joe."

She waits quietly until she hears the flow of liquids and then she swirls round and round in a little dance and runs back home without even saying "Good Night, Mr. Joe." I don't mind. I just hope that some unthinking bathroom cleaner doesn't squash her.

MICE

I'm sure they are in residence, but they must be scared of SuZee and keep hidden.  You can sometimes hear some scurrying but they don't make an appearance.

Last year I found a mice nest in the garage.  SuZee doesn't go out there.

Shortly after she entered our family, SuZee caught a mouse that she proudly showed to us.  She hasn't had to catch one since.

BIRDS

So far this (so-called) Spring, we have only seen Sparrows and Blue Jays.  The Cardinals went away somewhere and we've only seen one Robin - over a month ago.

Later we will see Juncos, Humming Birds and Blue Birds.  At least that's what I'm hoping.

Kathy keeps a hanging feeder filled and if it starts to get low the Blue Jays start to raise hell.

SQUIRRELS

Grey squirrels are in abundance around here.  One has a tail that looks like a feather and he mutters curses at us if we don't throw a few slices of bread at him from time to time.

ANTS

I know, everybody has ants.  As I sit here, a few of the little rascals are peeking out from under my mouse pad.  Where do they come from? Parthenogenesis? 

THE BORROWERS

Last, but not least, "The Borrowers" live in our house.  These are little leprechaun-like creatures that have learned from Lamont Cranston how to "cloud men's minds," to make sure they remain unobserved.

They have fun hiding your cellphone or your keys.  In fact, anything of value is "fair game" to them.  Another favorite acquisition is a pair of reading glasses.  They know that the owner will have an impossible search for them.  This makes the little creatures cackle with glee.

In time, when the fun has gotten stale, they lay the missing items back where the owner left them, causing the owner to shake his or her head in confusion; thus resulting in even more laughter by the little guys.

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 MORE MUSINGS

(I finished my special nursing duties today. I hope I did it properly.  Elaine, you'll get my bill tomorrow.)

1.  WORDLE  (an English exercise)

Once again, a hard one today. I was nervously swirling around in my kitchen chair, thinking that it was hopeless, when the solution word popped out of my head allowing me to preserve my winning streak. 

who - me

what - solving WORDLE

where - in my kitchen 

when - today

why - because it's fun

2.  WAIT, WAIT, DON'T TELL ME!

Once again I learned some things from my favorite podcast:

A Girl's Best Friend

A company has found that they can create real diamonds out of - - Ranch Dressing!

Quick, let me check the fridge!

Scientists have always known that diamonds are formed by carbon manipulation. (I think.)

My Walden Farms "Sugar and Fat Free" Ranch Dressing has the following ingredients:

Water

Vinegar

Corn Fiber

Erythritol (Sugar Substitute)

Salt

Cellulose

Titanian Oxide (Food Coloring)

Xanthan Gum (Food Stabilizer)

Garlic

Onion

Propylene Glycol (Flavor and Moisture Aid)

Lemon Juice

Yeast

Mustard Flour

Lactic Acid

Chives

Black Pepper

Parsley

Celery

Dill

Flavoring

OMG!  Should we be ingesting all that on our currently overpriced salads?

Which ingredient provides the carbon to be squeezed into diamonds? 

GET YOUR GOAT?

The Kawasaki company has developed "BEX" a rideable robot goat! (I wonder why)

May I refer you to a recent FACEBOOK video of a little monkey riding on the back of an amenable little goat. 

I wonder if Kawasaki will next develop "MEX" a robotic monkey to ride their robotic goat.

3.  GETTING PUTIN'S GOAT

A couple of days ago a frustrated President Biden accidently (?) uttered nine words "heard round the world" that seemed to hope for the overthrow of the ruler of Russia. "For God's sake this man cannot remain in power."  Oh Oh!

This, of course, sounded like a violation of the tacit agreement among nations that one nation's ruler should never advocate the overthrow of a duly elected leader of another country, even if is felt that their election might have been rigged.

This reminds me:

Centuries ago the Roman orator, Cato ended each speech with a long-winded Latin denunciation of Rome's rival Carthage.  The crux of these remarks was that Rome had to make sure that all power was removed from its rival.  Cato's remarks were condensed to a potent and successful phrase:

CARTHAGO DELENDA EST

(Carthage must be destroyed)

How about a rallying phrase for the current situation?

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 THINGS I THINK ABOUT

1.  WORDLE

Yesterday I wrote about solving a difficult puzzle. according to a lecturer in a Great Courses writing course that I am following, I should have "beefed it up."  Thus - here is my story supposedly improved:

I jumped out of my bed this morning, eager to try a new opening word in WORDLE.  The word did not give me any help and I felt it was worthless.  I was anxious because I didn't want to end my winning streak.

By guessing at several entries, I finally came to the last moment when the word I needed suddenly popped out of my brain, and my winning streak was preserved!

Did I satisfy the basic points of any story?

WHO?     Me (I)

WHAT?    A short story about WORDLE

WHERE?  Outside of my bed.

WHEN?    This morning.   

WHY?       To tell you about one of my experiences with a fun time solving WORDLE.

Well, I tried.

2.  TV SERIES

When Elaine came home from the hospital, we began to watch the Showtime series The Affair. It has several convoluted plots including the sexual exploits of the main protagonists, teacher/author Noah and waitress Allison, and the shenanigans of their relatives, some rich and some dealing in drugs.

There seems to be almost constant explicit sexual activity going on and if the F-word was removed from their vocabularies they would have nothing at all to say.

After a while I was hoping that they would slow down the sexual stuff and get to some other plot device.  We watched 50 Shades of Gray recently and that movie's sexual activity seems like Kindergarten stuff in comparison to that in this series.

That reminds me:

A long time ago I purchased My Life and Loves by Frank Harris at a left-bank book stall in Paris.  The book was banned in America.

Frank Harris (1856 - 1931) was an Irish-American who had an interesting life. Born in Ireland, he bought his way to America, where he "punched cattle" (like in the series 1883), worked underwater building the Brooklyn Bridge, wrote short and long stories, was considered a "bulls------", was a notorious name-dropper and eventually became a famous editor of The Saturday Review in London.

Down on his luck and blaming others for his misfortunes, and hoping to renew his fame he wrote an autobiography which caused quite a "stir."  He outlined his many sexual encounters through four volumes and peppered the pages with depictions of nude women.

But in between the sexy parts, Frank told entertaining anecdotes about world figures.  I got quickly tired of the titillating excerpts and thumbed past them to get to the more interesting parts. 

Why I mention this is to say that the antics in The Affair would certainly shock and disgust Frank the libertine with its lewdness and lack of interesting sidelights. (IMHO)

The Affair was developed in 2014 and lasted for five seasons.  I watched Season One, but I don't think I want to suffer through any more.

3. Prisoners

The Washington Post had an article today about German prisoners of war who were held in Maryland during WWII.  Some were held in Fort Holabird at Baltimore and thousands (the U.S. held 450,000 German prisoners) were sent to work on Maryland farms.

Carroll County, Maryland historian Kevin Dayhoff has written about these prisoners who were happy to get out of the war and do farm work in a welcoming environment.  Many prisoners stayed in the U.S. after the war and became good American citizens.

Fort Holabird was an important place during WWII.  Counterspies were trained there, mainly just-commissioned Second Lieutenants.

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 A BEAUTIFUL BUT CHILLY DAY

(Elaine is home and looks good.  I will have some nursing duties for three days. I just got a lesson on how to perform those duties.)

WORDLE

My 18 days winning streak almost failed today.  Tough word to dope out.  Took me some time.  As I said, I'm hooked and now WORDLE joins my schedule of doing at least one crossword puzzle each day.

CROSSWORDS

I really enjoy the puzzles that Evan Birnholz constructs.  He is the Sunday crossword writer for the Washington Post and Francine kindly sends me copies of his puzzles.  Evan has a wonderful sense of humor as shown in his puzzles, Try them, they may be tough, but entertaining.

WHAT NEXT!

For a while, a Family Dollar store on MLJ Boulevard in Tulsa had a vending machine that was supposed to dispense toy dinosaurs, but in some instances dispensed toy plastic rings imprinted with swastikas.

It makes me sad to think that lots of Americans glorify that madman Hitler and his evil regime that murdered millions of Jews, Gypsies, the Old, the Disabled and other innocent people, and caused a war that resulted in the deaths of another millions of people.

(THINK, YOU GUYS!)

BAD WEATHER

Evangelistic groups in Louisiana blame the tornados and hurricanes they continue to experience on "gays and abortion."   

(THINK, YOU GUYS!)

CRUNCHY OR SMOOTH?

In 2017, twelve inmates of an Alabama prison escaped by fooling a new guard.  They spread peanut butter over the EXIT door sign and told him it was a cell door that needed to be opened so a prisoner could get into the right cell.

It was a nutty attempt because all the escapees were soon captured.

(THINK, YOU GUYS!)

GENEOLOGY

This is an edited extract from a poem by Marguerite Loucks Dye, "humorist, author, poet, pianist and world traveler":

"Where do you get your good sense of humor?"

"I can't help it, Grandpa.  It's in my genes."

Then he thrust his hand into his dungaree pocket -

"Also in my Jeans are a flashlight and beans."

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" UN BEL DI, VEDREMO"

(Today is that day, Elaine will be coming home this afternoon!)

This indeed is an interesting time here in the old-folks paradise that I call home.

1. "Lookie, lookie,lookie, here comes Cookie"

It looks like hibernation is over for the tiny creature that lives under my bathroom molding. I call "her" Cookie.

She finally reappeared the other night and stayed there so I could admire her shiny blackness.  But, wait! Nearby was an even tinier creature with the same coloring.

Did she give birth during her hibernation?

Is my bathroom her universe? A small Garden of Eden for other God's creatures?

2.  A Maryland Delicacy

For years, devoted Maryland crab-crackers have relied on Old Bay seasoning to make their crab repasts even more delicious.

Sometimes bartenders have sprinkled Old Bay into alcoholic drinks to make them more spicey, so this had to happen.

Ads are now appearing for Old Bay Flavored Vodka and Old Bay Bloody Mary Mix.  Vodka would kill me, but I think I might like the Bloody Mary mix.

3.  TV Heaven

For a few years we have been paying for TV movies and documentaries that should have been free based on what we were paying to a provider.

My clever daughter, Diane took the steps necessary to fix our account so we could get free what we have been paying for.

Now we have access to 861 TV channels!

4.  Taxation

Anon says: "I believe we should all pay taxes with a smile.  I tried, but they wanted cash!"

Michelle Singletary said today in The Washington Post: "So far in the 2022 tax season, the average tax refund is more than $3,300."

This 88-year-old owes Uncle about that amount!

5. Noon-time Musings

Weather

As I watched the world through our kitchen window, I saw the sunshine go away and the temperature drop from 70 degrees to 54 degrees and a gusty wind begin anew.

Music

As I ate my lunch of a cheese pizza slice, followed by pistachio nuts and a nice cold beer, I listened to part 3 of L'enfance du Christ.  Nice vocal solos.

This reminded me of when my son, Chris and I were members of The Baltimore Opera League.

 We indulged in some remarkable luncheons at exclusive area clubs as we listened to vocal renditions.

These were usually given by the current star of the opera being showcased that week.  The singer stood next to a grand piano and "belted it out!" The Director of the Lyric Opera usually accompanied the singer on the piano.

In my opinion, there is no better way to listen to opera artists sing than to hear them as they stand within three feet away from you.  So much better than on discs and records and in movies or on You Tube.

After luncheons the Guild would have tables set up to sell overpriced opera memorabilia.  I bought opera-themed jewelry for Elaine and once I bought a very expensive opera-themed necktie. I loved that necktie!

One day I gave a class at the Eldersburg Senior Center and part of my schtick was to throw off my jacket and tie, "to get down to business."

After the class I found my jacket, but my beloved tie was missing.  It never showed up.  It was hard for me to believe that the Center was harboring elderly thieves.

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 "A NUMBER OF THINGS"

(I'm told that Elaine may be coming home this weekend.  I can't wait!)

Robert Louis Stevenson in his Child's Garden of Verses wrote:

"The world is so full of a number of things,

I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings."

And Patrick Dennis quoted Auntie Mame:

"Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death."

L'CHIAM!

In my Toastmasters life I gave many toasts, especially at weddings.  I ordered couples to enjoy this great life together.  I wonder how many took me up on that and are still married?

1.  Noontime Musings

I ate my ham salad lunch at our kitchen window and watched the outdoor thermometer rise from 40 degrees to 60 degrees.  Strange weather.

The violent storms that we were supposed to experience didn't show up. Or else they may have occurred Camelot-like in the night.

As I ate, I listened to another musical selection provided me by the BBC.

2.  Soothing Music

My musical selection was by Hector Berlioz (1803-1869).  L'enfance du Christ (Christ's Infancy) was written in three parts in 1854. I listened to Part 1 and 2 this noon.

Even if you are not a Christian it can be enjoyed, especially the section in Part 2 La fuite en Egypte (The Flight into Egypt) that is called L'adieu des bergers (The Shepherds' Farewell.)

This section is only 4 minutes long but is some of the most beautiful music ever composed. (IMHO)

I'm sure you have heard it many times. 

The BBC writes:  "If ever Berlioz can be said to have achieved glowing perfection in his music, then it is surely contained here in this one priceless miniature,"

3.  The Con is On

Lately I've been watching TV on Elaine's set. One of the shows is a NETFLIX production called Inventing Anna. It is a series and so far the protagonist has conned a fashion designer, a boy friend, a very rich lady and her rich friends.  But - they still like or love her.

Who is this Anna?  Is she Russian? German? American?  Brit?  Is she a millionaire? A pauper? Does she have a billionaire father?  Is she an orphan?  Is she really 25 years old? Does she really speak 7 languages? Is her accent affected?  Or -- does she come from Ohio?

Lots of fun to watch.

4.  Uncle Gets His Due

Albert Einstein: "The hardest thing in the world to understand is the Income Tax."

My wonderful daughter, Diane finished my tax returns, and (as I've said before) because of Trump's Tax Relief for Billionaires efforts, I owe a bundle again. I'm having to use money I saved for retirement to cover the debt, and of course, I will have to pay taxes on those amounts again.  

But I hope that my money will help in some way the suffering people in The Ukraine.

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 STUFF TO THINK ABOUT

(Elaine had excellent MRI results.  Hoping she'll be back home soon! Kathy helped Elaine talk to me on her phone. Elaine sounded good.)

1.  Artiste?

The Funny Paper reports that a Russian security guard at the Yeltsin Art Center in Ekaterinburg was bored, so he took out his ballpoint pen and added "eyes" to the three blank faces in the painting labeled "Three Figures" by Anna Leporskaya.

(Look at the painting.  Do you agree with me and the gallery guard that the painting would look more interesting if the faces had eyes?)  

2.  Bottom Line Personal Items -  March 2022 

Bloody Smart

The Stanford University School of Medicine has found that "Supermice" blood pumped into "Couch Potato" mice caused the lazy mice to get smarter.

(Could this work for humans?  I worked at the New Bedford, Massachusetts YMCA for a few years and met a lot of "Supermen" who couldn't even tie their shoelaces.  Do not give me any of their blood.)

Sniff, Sniff, Grrrr!

Scientists at the Weizmann Institute in Israel found that "sniffing a baby's scalp makes women aggressive."

(Aha! Now I know why!... Just kidding, dear.)

3.  Lunchtime Musings

Birds

I ate my lunch today while gazing out of our kitchen window.  I saw sparrows and blue jays zooming by, looking for sustenance before an impending storm arrives.

Weather

Another torrential rain storm is predicted and it's barging up the coast.  Lots of rain, and it isn't even April.  The gusty March winds are still with us.

Flora (Goddess of flowering plants)

I can see that our neighbor's daffodils are up and smiling.  Mine are just poking their green leaves above ground.  The neighboring yard receives direct sunlight; our yard has a lot of shade.

My daughter Diane has a super "green thumb" and is getting her flower and vegetable seeds potted and ready for April rains and May sunshine.

A nicer Russian

While I ate my lunch I listened to a CD that came with a recent issue of BBC Music.

The "music" consisted of two of the works of Igor Stravinsky (1882-1971).  The Rite of Spring (1913) and Petruska (1911).  Stravinsky was a leader in modern music.

(IMHO) I would like to see The Rite of Spring ballet because then I would probably like the music more. Perhaps I can find it on You Tube. The (to my mind) thumping and grinding sounds at the beginning remind me of the train ride music in John Adams' opera "Nixon in China."  

I think I have watched the Petruska ballet performed somewhere in my long life.  I do like the music.  Perhaps I'll try You Tube for this ballet too.

4.  My Green Jeep

I just wrote a story about how I obtained the vehicle that once ferried me all over Germany.  I submitted it for publication in Carroll Lutheran Village's award-winning annual "Creative Living."  If they accept it I'll plug it into a blog entry.

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