Today, I would like to comment on the craziness of this wonderful world.
Are you musically inclined? If so, you may be interested in this.
One of the many printed catalogs we get each and every day (Favorites) had the following item for sale.
The Potty Piano
This is a large printed piano octave that fits around your toilet bowl. The black and white notes are delineated so that you can depress them independently while you conduct your business. It comes with a "mini songbook" to help you play 3 songs. To increase its usefulness, it has an on/off button and "sleep mode."
Or, maybe you are intrigued with powerful people. If so, this may be for you.
Peek-a-boo
The same catalog listed a product that I am tempted to send for. A removable "photorealistic" image of either President Trump or Queen Elizabeth. The image is "peel-and-press" and attaches easily to car windows. As you drive down the street, imagine how envious your friends will be when they see that you are ferrying famous people in your Toyota!
But wait... there is something else in this catalog that I must send for.
The Trump Countdown Clock
This item is embossed with the President's picture and the words:
"Countdown to Trump's Last Day 1.20.21."
The "clock's" screen keeps track of DJT's term of office by days, hours, minutes, and seconds.
Now, that is one hell of a great catalog, in my humble opinion.
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Death Wish?
According to The Week magazine, about a year ago, American skydiver, Luke Atkins jumped out of an airplane at 4 miles above the ground into a "large" net suspended 20 stories high. But wait, Luke did this without a parachute. Luke was successful but said that he was a little nervous. I would say that he was crazy as hell.
Elaine jumped out of a few planes. A couple of knee operations cured her of that foolishness. Thank God.
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Barnacle Bill the Sailor
It's only me from over the sea
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor
I'm all lit up like a Christmas Tree
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor
I'll sail the sea until I croak
I fight and swear and drink and smoke
But I can't swim a bloody stoke
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
(As recorded by Frank Luther)
My Uncle Allen like this song. His nickname was "Popeye" and he had his own version of the related song: "Popeye the Sailor Man." I especially like these two lines:
"I like to go swimmin'
With bow-legged women."
As I gaze at my ancient body, I realize that I have now become covered with "old sailor's barnacles." My GP says that this is just the result of aging and is nothing to worry about. Small comfort!
I also have a constantly moving array of purple bruises on my arms and hands. I'm told that this is the result of blood thinning resulting from prescription medicine or aspirin. Since I take a baby aspirin each day and consume lots of alka seltzer, I guess this is the cause of my disfigurement. Incidentally, the appearance of black and blue (and purple?) bruises is called: ecchymoses.
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A Few Items from a Recent Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Program
Sex Sells
The Dove soap company is now selling bottles of soap shaped like women.
Lazy Shakers
Someone has marketed an electronic salt-shaker called the SMALT.
Edible Utensil?
McDonald's is going to be selling forks made of French Fries. ( Handles with French Fries on the end.)
Dessert with the Boss
Time Magazine supposedly reported that during a recent dinner with "big-shots," when dessert was served, everyone got one scoop of ice cream, except Mr. Trump, who got 2 scoops. Mr. Pence got a fruit cup.
Oy!
The Einstein Bagel Company is marketing a "caffeinated bagel."
Spread the Cremains
A noted plumber died recently and was cremated. A fellow plumber who knew him well, and knew that he loved baseball, is traveling from ball park to ball park, flushing some of his friend's cremains down a toilet in each one.
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Enough!
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