Observations

Looking at some entries in my old "Joe Reads the News" blog, I find lots of comments from Arabs.. most of it in Arabic, but a little in English.  They say they like the blog... I wonder why.



To take my mind off of some sad things this last week.. I will try to obtain catharsis by mentioning things in the recent news cycles that appear weird to me.

But, before that, let me quote a famous philosopher:

"People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing.  But it's really a bizarre activity.  'For the next several hours while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand.  When the sun returns,, I will resume my life.'  If you didn't know what sleep was and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie,  you would think it was weird and tell all  your friends about the movie you'd seen."  George Carlin

                                                                      Think about it!

Are we in Kansas yet, Toto?

Using the forensic talents of the FBI, the famous ruby slippers from The Wizard Of Oz movie were recovered and returned to the Minnesota museum where they were stolen 13 years ago.

That reminds me of a great recent cartoon  that showed Trump as the Wizard, but with the curtain behind him opened enough to show Putin manipulating Trump's strings.

No poopie on the floor, Chickie.

It had to happen.  Recently, people have begun to keep chickens as pets.  So, an enterprising lady in New Hampshire has opened a business selling cloth diapers for chickens.



Famous Hoaxer Dies... maybe.

Alan Abel died in October.  He was a hoaxer extraordinaire!  Some of his hoaxes were:

He founded SINA (the Society for Indecency to Naked Animals, whose motto was: A nude horse is a rude horse.  The stated goal of the society was to clothe any animal "that stands higher than 4 inches or is longer than 6 inches."

He founded Omar's School for Beggars in New York City.  This was designed for the newly poor to  learn the "tricks of the trade."

He started the First Topless String Quartet (Bach with Breasts.)

In 1980, he faked his own death.  Fake grieving widow; fake undertaker; fake obituaries.  He "rose from the dead" a little while later.  However, he was now afraid that if he were to really die, nobody would believe it. (We'll see.)

Interfaith Hypocricy

Recently, famous sycophant, Mike Pence, made a big show of meeting with a "rabbi" to honor the victims of the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting.  As usual, Mike showed his true feelings, because the "rabbi" was Loren Jacobs, a Messianic Jew, who tries to convert Jews to Christianity.

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"Worst of Times and the Best of Times"

Recently, I learned through DNA that I had a cousin named Pat Shinn.  Pat lived in Florida with her daughter Cheryl and other relatives.  We go acquainted by mail and Pat wished that I was the brother that she never had (her twin brother died close to birth.)  I was pleased to grant her wish and become her putative brother Joe.   We had a nice correspondence going on until last week when she passed away because of diabetes complications.  This was very sad and a "worse time" for me... but also a "best time" because I had gotten to know a sweet "sister" I didn't know I had... even though it was for a short time.

 Rescquiat in pacem, dear sister.

Welcome to the Nut House

What a couple of days!  Pipe bombs  and synagogue shootings.  My analysis is.. trump is either firing up the nuts or at least creating an atmosphere where the nuts can function.  I'm anxious to see if his plan works.. he wants all republicans to vote as though they were voting for him again.  God help us if his party stays completely in charge for another 2 years!

Meanwhile, other nutty things are going on.  Just look at some of the entries in The Week's Good Week/Bad Week Section.

Watch out for Ice Bergs:  Yes, it had to happen.  A company is building an exact replica of the 1912 Titanic. Blue Star Lines says they want to deliver the "authentic"Titanic experience.

T says It's OK to Grope: A Florida man who "groped" a woman on a plane flight told officers that it was ok for him to do that because the president said so.

By the Light of the Satellite Moon: Chengdu, China, will no longer have a need for street lights because an artificial moon will direct sun's rays over that city beginning in 2020.  There goes romance!

Don't mess with Mahler in Sweden:  Some guy whose wife dragged him to see a performance of Gustav Mahler's 5th Symphony, decided to  noisily unwrap his Mars bars during  the symphony's fourth movement.  Bad move! Big brawl ensued.

I know, I know.  These pictures are not great for the words.  Also, my entries are not original.  What the hell.  I like all of it, and I'm an old opinionated dude who likes what he likes.  So there!

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Catalog to help me remember and relive some childhood experiences.

My Stories:  a short compilation to help my memory.

Age 5: Ballpean assist for bullies.
Age 7: Teacher slugs me... I must have done something very bad.
Age 9:  The Dozens at Cook School
Age 9:   County Street, Whaling Captain's house.
Age 9:  Allen F. Wood slum school with holes in the floor.
Age 9:  Miss Savage changes my IQ test entries.
Age 9:  My Bravados Islands friends
Age 9:  Marjorie kills some of my friendships.
Age 9:  Vacation at Hetty Green's red and green mansion on Cuttyhunk Island.
Age 9:  Music plays constantly at the Renn's interesting house.
Age 10:  I was an excellent shoplifter.. with a large sized macintosh.
Age 10:  Joe Barboza kicked me out of the Renn's circle.  Thank God!
Age 10:  German shepherd followed me home all the time.
Age 10:  Cousin Charlie gets me to go to the First Baptist Church with him.
Age 10:  I discovered the Church's library.... and OZ stories.. and detective brothers stories.
Age 10:  I gave up comic books.
Age 11:  Many adventures with my friend Casey.
Age 11:  Incunabula at the New Bedford Public Library.
Age 11:  Living at late Grandma Davenport's house on West Elm Street.
Age 11:  Worked on milk truck.. up at 4 am..  later to school.
Age 11:   Discovered Geography.
Age 12:   In 7th Grade with Miss Thynge and Mrs DeLoid.
Age 12:   I win crossword contest .. Miss Thynge awards Betsy Burke also... dictionary split!
Age 12:   Mrs DeLoid teaches music theory.  Enjoyable.
Age 13:   Miss Thynge catches me  throwing paper airplanes and gets creative with punishment.
Age 13:   Hanging with Courtney Gilbert.  Dresses like Al Capone and drives a 12 cylinder car.
Age 13:   With Courtney:  Shark Woman movie.
Age 13:    With Courtney:  his girl friend's muscle men pix on the wall:  Some girls don't  like... etc.
Age 13:    YMCA with Casey.  Paul Favor makes me President of Y organization.  Lungs exhibit.

America?

Lot's of stuff happening.  In fact, every day brings news of White House events and situations that one would never have dreamed of ten years ago.  Exciting, but scary.

Political Stuff

I think I heard this on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me:  trump was supposed to clean up the swamp, but instead he has spewed fecal matter around like the air dryers in rest rooms.

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Gene Weingarten wrote a poem for the August 5, 2018 Washington Post:

"Why should a person
At the chance jump
To work for the pope
But not Donald Trump?

The answer is simple
It's about osculation
And what is required
For your occupation:

To work for Pope Francis
(And here's the main thing)
All  you must kiss
Is his papal ring."

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Rudy Giuliani says: "truth is not truth."
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Somebody wrote this for the New York Time Sunday Magazine, I'm not sure who the author is, but I really like their words:

"It had seemed obvious to some that a modern presidential administration would not defend white nationalists or that the United States government would seek to avoid taking babies from their parents' arms  ..  or that a man who bragged about harassing women wouldn't be elected in the first place.

Last summer, NPR celebrated the Fourth of July by tweeting, line by line, the text of the Declaration of Independence;  its account was immediately attacked by angry Americans accusing the organization of spreading seditious anti-Trump propaganda.

The nation's founding values have come to seem, somehow, unfamiliar and contentious;  we can't recognize the Declaration of Independence when we see it.  Let the obvious sit too long and it becomes like an animal in a zoo: pointed at, but never exercised, and idly wandered past by people who have forgotten how powerful it is in action."
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I downloaded Fear to my Kindle and am reading it a little each night.  Yesterday, in the middle of an opera that Alexa was playing for me.. she stopped and said: "We will now read the book Fear from your Kindle."  Why did she say that and how did she know that book was on my Kindle?

Mysterious!
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Lots of Stuff Happening

Today was the funeral of John McCain.. a true American hero.
Yesterday was the funeral of Aretha Franklin..  a true American musical legend.

Lots of tears, I'm not ashamed to say.

The eulogizers for McCain all made subtle digs at trump... who, incidentally was not invited to the funeral.  Three other Presidents were there:  Clinton, W. Bush, and Obama.  Bush and Obama spoke, but not Clinton.. I guess they were afraid that he might take over the ceremony.  He spoke yesterday for Aretha and got a standing ovation.

Bush did a good job.. but Obama excelled, as usual.  It's too bad that he can't be our President again.  He is "a class act."

I received bad DNA news this week.  The lady I thought was going to be my sister, turned out to be a first cousin instead.  This means that I have to figure out some way to pinpoint who my biological father was.. how on earth can I do this.  I know that in ten years some DNA sampling will be extended to inanimate objects, like a person's comb.  But, that will probably be too late for me.

The opera, FAUST by Gounod is playing on WETA-FM.  I wonder if trump sold his soul to the devil in exchange for his riches and high office.  We'll see if he can survive the slings and arrows of his former "friends" who have decided to "rat" on him.

I watched all of the new segments of Orange is the New Black and then decided to review the whole series again.  Wow! How did I miss all the subtle bi-product stories the first time.  By going back again, I can piece together the bits and pieces related to each lady's story.  Very rewarding.  Also, I don't remember so  much quasi-porn before.. could they have enhanced the film?  Anyway, it is fun seeing how life in a prison for ladies is so much like Americans in Stalags in World War II.

I started rehab for my back's pinched disk, and its wearing me out..  so I'm going to lay down.  Bye for now.

"My Favorite Things"

Here are two versions of a song from the Sound of Music.  The first came from Elaine Peterson at Carroll Lutheran Village, but she apparently doesn't know where she obtained it.  The other poet is known.

#1 (Author unknown)

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak, when the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, when the hips creak,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

#2  By Thomas Vincent, as published in the Washington Post*

Golfing and Big Macs and late-night tweet rages,
Tax breaks for fat cats and babies in cages.
Justices dancing like puppets on strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Hounding reporters and calling them traitors,
Pissing off allies and kissing dictators,
Congress like bobbleheads mounted on springs,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When collusion and indictments
Bring things to a halt,
I go on TV and say you can't blame me
For it's all Obama's fault.

* From "The Style Invitational" which is a contest held  every week, in the Style section of the Washington Post.  It's a marvelous opportunity to flex one's creative muscles.  Try it, you'll like it.