Gentle Trivia and Jokes; Phobias; Laws; Quotations

A beautiful Fall day.   Almost 80 degrees and sunny.  We just got back from a kind-of "picnic" for our fellow home owners at CLV.  Everybody brought some food.. we took my usual brownies.. that disappeared almost immediately.  (I didn't think they were that good... but other folks did I guess.)

Yesterday, I ranted about the election again.  Now that it is out of my system, I can get to writing about gentler and maybe funnier things.  We'll see.

Trivia

Q.  Why do we call policemen "the fuzz?"
A.  Because London bobbies once wore fuzzy helmets.

Q.  Who invented Fanta sodas?
A.  The Coca Cola plant in Germany at the start of World War II.  It was not invented by the Nazis, as rumor has it; nor was it produced under the direction of Hitler's Third Reich.

Phobias (per The Book of Weird and Unusual Trivia)

arachibutyrophobia -- a fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.

ergophobia -- fear of work

phengophobia -- fear of daylight or sunshine

soceraphobia -- fear of parents in law

hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia --  fear of long words

Weird Animal Laws (same  reference work)

It's illegal to imitate an animal in Miami.

In Florida, it is illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine.

Giving booze to a fish is illegal in Oklahoma.

Mythical Creatures (same reference work)

chimera: part serpent, lion and goat

griffin:  half eagle, half lion

basilisk: a serpent, lizard, or dragon said to kill by breathing on or looking at its victims

Famous Quotations (per Readers Digest)

Julia Childs:  "Honestly, the only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."

Benjamin Franklin:  "Wine; a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy."

Dennis Miller:  "You know there's a problem when you realize that out of the three Rs, only one begins with an 'R'."

Shane Richie: "I don't believe in reincarnation, and I didn't believe in it when I was a hamster."

Funny Stuff: (A little naughty)

"An acquaintance walked past Algonquin Round Table member Marc Connelly and ran a hand over Connelly's bald pate. 'that feels just as smooth and as nice as my wife's behind,' he said.  Connelly, running his own hand over his head, remarked, 'So it does!'"
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From leatherneck.com:  A Marine General went to the doctor for his annual physical.  Among the questions his doctor asked was "When was the last time  you made love?"

"Oh," mused the General, "1945."

"That long ago? asked the doctor.

"It's not so bad" said the general, pointing to his watch.  "It's only 21.13."
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For my Republican Friends who are about to vote for Mr. Trump

Nice sunny 70 degree Fall day in beautiful Westminster, Maryland.

Today, as we get close to the 2016 Presidential election, I feel that I must bring a few things to the attention of my Republican friends who say they are definitely going to vote for Mr. Trump.  Of course, in America, you may vote for anyone you want to vote for.  However, I would like you to consider the following before you do vote.  It probably won't make you change your mind, but it will make me feel good for letting you know how I feel.

To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln (the first Republican President.. and in my opinion, the greatest President we have ever had: 

"We are engaged in a great Presidential election, testing whether this Nation can long endure, with a leader who engages feelings of hatred, or with a leader whose purpose is a loving environment for all people."

Today, I want to talk about four things:

1.  A seminar on dementia that I attended yesterday.
2.  Some comments from German friends in the 1950's.
3. Drug testing the candidates.
4.  Two articles from today's New York Times.

And afterwards, I want to submit a gallery of Presidents.

1.  Dementia Seminar

Yesterday, I learned that there are four types of dementia.  One does not have to be "ancient" to have dementia.  It could also occur because of other reasons, such as head injuries and strokes.

Alzheimer's Disease - 47-60% of dementia cases
Lewy Body Dementia - 15-25% of dementia cases
Vascular Dementia - 23% or less of dementia cases
Frontotemporal Dementia - 15% of dementia cases

Frontotemporal Dementia can be compared to the way your teenager acts before his or her prefrontal cortex control center kicks in at about 26 to 28 years old.  Some of the symptoms are:

Inappropriate social behavior.
Hypersexuality
Lack of concern for others
Compulsive behavior

At the seminar, when these frontotemporal dementia symptoms were mentioned, a loud voice from the back said: "Just like Mr. Trump!"

2.  Comments from German Friends

I spent almost four years in the Air Force in Germany during the 1950's.. shortly after the end of World War II..  The type of work I did allowed me to travel around a bit and I made some German friends in Koeln (Cologne, Germany).  We talked a lot and I asked a lot of questions... they even accused me of being an undercover agent... but they said it in a nice way.

One guy, who had been a sergeant in the German Army in WWII said that he never did think much about his superior officers.  He just followed orders, like all Germans did at that time.  He said that he and his fellow soldiers would mock "Der Fuehrer," until someone would turn them in and they would be in trouble.

One lady said that her friends and relatives all thought that Hitler was a clown and would never become Chancellor.. But they did like his loud voice proclaiming that "he would make Germany great again!"  He was a superb con-man and certainly led them into surefire destruction..

My German friends did not like to talk about the war years, but hoped that they never would have to go through it again.  They were lucky to have survived and have been under the control of us Americans rather that the Russians.  (At least, that's what they told me.)

Remember... whoever wins this election will have more power in the United States and in the World than Hitler ever had. 

While I was in Germany, there was an election and some right wing folks were running against the Social Democrats and they were looking back on Hitler days as "halcyon days."  The SD folks published a marvelous poster showing a picture of the ruins during World War II... and the words under the picture were "hast du vergessen?"  (Have you forgotten?)   That poster worked and the SD folks  won. (Where is such a poster today, when we need it?)

3. Drug testing the Candidates

Mr. Trump has just suggested that the Presidential candidates should be tested for drugs, because of what he says must  be Hillary's health problems.  Wait a minute!  Who was sniffling all through the two debates... it wasn't the microphone as Mr. Trump insisted.  One way of getting people to forget about those sniffles might be to suggest drug testing, knowing that it would never take place. Another diversionary tactic?

4. New York Times articles today (October 16, 2016)

You have to read these great articles from that so-called "dying paper" .. the New York Times.  

a. The Grace of George H. W. Bush "opinion piece" by Jon Meacham.

Thankfully, IMHO, George H. W. Bush declined to select Donald J. Trump as his running mate in 1988, although Mr. Trump was willing.

I'm not going to quote the article.. the gist of it is printed as a sidebar:  "The quarter-century journey from Bush to Trump disproves Darwin."

b.  If Hillary Clinton Groped Men by Nicholas Kristof.

Mr. Kristof asks if there is a double standard for women in politics.  He then asks us to "imagine" about thirty things as being done or said by Hillary Clinton instead of Mr. Trump.  For instance: and I quote: 

"Imagine if she had said about a man running against her in the primaries: 'Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that?'"

"Imagine if Clinton had body shamed Donald Trump, saying that she had observed his rear end and concluded, "I'm not impressed, believe me.'"

These two examples are two of the more polite "imagines" in Nicholas' fantastic article.

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Does a Republican who votes for Mr. Trump after listening to his "rants," innuendos, and fact-checked falsehoods vote for him because he is the Party's nominee ...  putting party above nation?  IMHO, I think so.  Please, vote only after thinking... maybe Hillary is not the one you would like in the White House.. there are other candidates.. and, you can write in a person in some States.  My grandfather always got write in votes each election in Massachusetts.

Honestly... do you want to wake up in 2017 and see a "Trump House?"

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Gallery of Presidents

And could it be?

ENOUGH!!!

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Fountain Rock Park; Lime Kilns; Watercress; Political Signs; Religion; John Wesley; Mr. Trump

Another beautiful 60 degree day in beautiful Carroll County, Maryland.

Elaine and I broke our rule and got up early to go on a "venture" trip to Fountain Rock Park in Walkersville, near Frederick.  It is a marvelous place with all of the following, and more:

A nature center, where live and formerly alive,  native to the area,  creatures abound.

A very large quarry, filled with water and surrounded by a boardwalk.

A trout pond.  Limit: 2 fish, and you have to have a license and a picture ID.  The pond gets stocked each year.  Lots of geese swim on the pond.. but not on the quarry water, I wonder why.

Lots of geese poop on some of the trails... so you need to watch your step.

A butterfly garden.

Historic lime kilns.  Lime would be quarried and then sorted and cut for various purposes.

A large covered pavilion with lots of large tables, where we sat and stuffed ourselves with "Ballpark Franks." These are fat hotdogs, which our leader assured us did not have garlic.  We had brought some of our own, garlic-less, just in case.  Every person brought a dish to share.  Some really good stuff too.  We brought some brownies that I baked last night.  I forgot and included three eggs instead of two... so the brownies turned out more like chocolate cake than brownies.  But they were good, and went fast.

(Elaine ate two hot dogs and a lot of goodies, and is sleeping it off.  I ate four hot dogs and a lot of goodies, but I'm still functioning.)

Some Fountain Rock place names are memorable:

Fox Den
Caterpillar's Cocoon
Tulip Track
Poison Ivy Place
Quarry Walk
Hackberry Hollow
Raccoon Ridge
Woodchuck Way

Years ago, this land was owned by a man who grew watercress, apparently for all of the east coast. The lime in the soil is supposed to be beneficial to the plant.  I've heard of watercress sandwiches, but I have never tried one. 

Bus Trip to the Park

To get to Fountain Rock Park, we had to travel through a lot of Carroll County and some of Frederick County.  On the way, we counted some signs:

Trump Signs - 8
Clinton Signs -1  (This is to be expected in a Republican bastion.)
For Sale Signs - 2
Yard Sale Signs - 14

Now what does all of that tell you?  Not a damn thing.

In a normal election year, I would have expected to see hundreds of signs for the Republican candidate.  Not this year.

By the way, have you noticed how the election signs are printed?

Clinton and her VP have equal sized name letters on her signs.

Trump has twice or three times as large sized name letters on his signs as his VP.

As I think I mentioned, somebody is sabotaging Trump signs in Westminster.  Usually, in normal election years, the Democratic signs get sabotaged.  This has got to tell you something.

Religion?

I am a very religious person, in my own way.  Brought up as a Quaker and a Baptist, connected to a Catholic and a Lutheran, drawn to the Massachusetts founded Universal Unitarians, skeptical about most dogma, disciple of Darwin, and disdainful of the hypocrites I have encountered in my life.  Some may know that I am also a Minister in the Church of the Modern Apostles... that's a story we can discuss at some point.

Anyway, now that you know all that, if you still like me, that pleases me.  If you don't.. well, that's OK too... because I do like  you, and that is all that matters to me.

This is preface to a quote that I believe came from John Wesley, cofounder of the Methodist Church:

"Do all the good that you can
In all the ways that you can
In all the places you can
At all the times you can
To all the people you can
As long as ever you can.".

If one changes the word "good" in that quote, one might be able to pinpoint Mr. Trump's philosophy, IMHO..

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AARP; NARFE; Award for Joe; Government; Short People; Clown Attacks; Clown Portraits

Nice sunny 60 degrees day. And, an amazing day for me.

First, I went to the AARP Board Meeting and ran it, because the President and Vice President are not available.  I have to admit.. I like running meetings.  It's a lot of fun.  I brought cookies and Thelma brought cookies as well.... we pigged out on chocolate chip and peanut butter calorie filled cookies.

I also got rid of another six "Joe Vaughan Fan Club" pens.  I still have a lot left.

Next, I went to the NARFE (Retired Federal Employees) meeting at Bullock's.  I had my wonderful fried chicken legs and decaf.  I held off on the usual peach turnover, but did take a couple home along with 3 chicken legs for Elaine's lunch.  The nice lady that runs the fried chicken counter as always gave me an extra one.  "Here, Mr. Joe.  Hope you like them!"  This is the Carroll County environment that is so nurturing.

As I indicated, I love Bullock's fried chicken legs (best in the County) and turnovers... unfortunately, we two, Elaine and I, fellow diabetics, both  crave these wonderful gifts from God.

Bill Gray from Blue Cross made his annual NARFE visit to explain upcoming changes to the Federal Insurance situation.  A nice guy.  Sadly, he will be retiring at the end of the year. 

During the meeting, Bill surprised me by giving me an award.  This was a complete surprise, but well appreciated.  Chapter members nominated me.  I am glad that I earned their respect.

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Government As Usual

Readers Digest got this item from netfunny.com.  It certainly brings back memories of my government service:

"I was assigned to a military intelligence unit as a temporary assistant.  One day, a memo came around with instructions for all officers to read and initial.  So I read and initialed.

Days later, it came back with a note addressed to me: 'You are not permanently assigned to this unit and are thus not an authorized signee.  Please erase you initials and initial your erasure."

(Almost the same thing happened to me, but with Classified material.  A lieutenant who must have flunked "common sense" in college was involved.... you of course remember that I have this "thing" about Lieutenants.)

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Hey, Shortie!

The Week magazine recently contributed to the discrimination against short people by publishing this information:

People who are extremely short may also have a higher risk of heart disease, according to BBC.com.

"A person who is five feet tall would have, on average, a 64% higher risk of developing clogged arteries than someone who is six feet."  It's apparently a DNA thing.

(I would like to find out how tall my biological father was.  As I've mentioned before.. I was 5'7" tall when I was 11 years old... which at the time was tall for a kid.  However, soon after, everybody around me shot up and passed me by.  Now... based on the contractions in my spine... one Doctor tells me that I'm only 5'4" tall... another says I'm only 5'3" tall.  It looks like I'm shrinking so fast that I should disappear in a couple of  years.

I don't understand why there are still very tall people at my age.  Didn't they get the message?)

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Clown Attack?

More 15 and 16 year old girls are calling government offices and reporting clown attacks.   The various clown organizations are upset and working hard to assure the public that the normal clown is a clean, law-abiding citizen and not prone to scaring people.  My grandfather was a friend of Emmet Kelly, the famous "sad hobo" clown from the Ringling Brothers Circus.  Whenever the circus was anywhere near New Bedford, Massachusetts, Emmet would taxi over to drink beer at the Buttowood Café with my Grandfather. .

Here are some nice clowns:

Painting by Joe Balestracci, New Bedford Artist.

Happy clown from the Carroll County Senior Expo

Juggling clown

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Horwitz Dubin Wedding; Name Change; Tidbits; Dolly Parton; Abraham Lincoln;

70 degrees and sunny!

Vows

Elaine likes to read the New York Times section about weddings.  Usually, the people involved are upper middle class folks who like tp mention their family's good works, their good educations, and professions.  Sometimes I take a look also, and this last Sunday I read about an interesting wedding.

Ann Horwitz and Ariel Dubin were married on October 8th at the Hayes Mansion in San Jose, California.  Ann Horwitz is studying for a Ph.D. in sociology at the University of Maryland. She is a magna cum laude master in International education policy. She matriculated at Harvard. She also had a Fulbright scholarship as a teaching assistant in Indonesia.

Her bride, Ariel Dubin  is a doctoral fellow in minimally invasive gynecologic surgery at Columbia.  She was also a magna cum laude student and received her medical degree at Georgetown.  Her father is a dentist in San Jose and her mother is a parenting educator in Los Gatos.

Why I was interested in this marriage was because of Ann Horwitz' parents.  Her father is a famous lyricist and playwright.  He is an author of "Ain't Misbehaving," which won the Tony Award for Best Musical in 1978.  Among other accomplishments, he is the new host of the weekly old time radio program: "The Big Broadcast" on WAMU (Washington.)  This is a show that I seldom miss.

He was also the creator of another program that I seldom miss:  "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me."  An amazing person.

Her mother was a mezzo-soprano who sang with the Eastern Opera Theater and the Manhattan Savoyards.  She also performed with the American Symphony Orchestra at Carnegie Hall.

What a family!

Name Change

The Week reports that a college art teacher was able to legally change her name fo the entire alphabet.  ABCDEFG HIJKLMN OPQURST UVWXYZ  said she changed her name "so people wouldn't know it's me."  Huh? This must drive bank tellers crazy.

The Week also reports about the London commuter hurrying to a job interview, who pushed and shoved a guy out of the way on the subway.  When he walked into the interviewer's office, who should he meet up with?  Yep... the person he pushed.  I wonder if he got the job. What do you think?

This reminds me of the time a truck in back of me tooted and tried to run me off the road because the driver thought I was going too slow.  As he passed, he gave me "the finger" and I also pointed with mine.... at the sign on the side of his truck... Stanley Steemer... was he surprised when I showed up at the job he was hurrying to... at my house.

Tidbits from Readers Digest

"Four-year-old said he went potty, and I asked if it was Number 1 or 2.  He said Number 7, and now I'm afraid to go into the bathroom.:

"A buck -  called that because in the 1700's trappers could sell a single buckskin for a dollar."

Stephen Fry, actor said:  "Books are no more threatened by Kindle than stairs by elevators."

There is only one Kosher McDonalds outside of Israel.  It's in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Dolly Parton:  "I'm not offended by blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ... and I also know that I'm not blonde."

Isaac Asimov, science fiction writer and fellow Mensan: "People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."

Abraham Lincoln:  He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."

Crabs; Claws; Red Bull Stuff; Motorbike; Motivator; Bionic Arm; Camera Stabilizer; Beer Tea Bags

Nice sunny Fall day... 68 degrees.  Nice. Don't get too used to it... another week or so, it will probably get down to below freezing.   To get a jump on that, I brought in our three porch plants.  They had gotten a new life by being outside in the warm weather, but they would probably get zapped by freezing weather.  I also brought in all of our green tomatoes.  In a few days, they will be rosy red.  If not, I'll just make "fried green tomatoes"... Elaine says she doesn't like that, but I do.

Hey.... I need to get into gear and get some crabs to eat before its too late.  By the way, meet the famous CRAB BUDDHA!)  He should be nearby whenever you eat crabs. 

During the 1960's, the Sun Paper wrote about a Baltimore family that eats crabs every day of the year.  Being a newly arrival from New England, where we used blue crabs for bait to catch fish, I wondered how somebody could love crabs so much.   But, it didn't take long for our family to begin loving Old Bay doused crabs!

I like to eat all of the crab; however, I enjoy most of all the claws.  Yummie!


When seafood guys steam crabs, they end up with a lot of claws that are segregated from the bodies of the crabs.  (Don't give me a guilt trip about the crabs fighting with each other while they are being scalded to death.  I  don't want to think about it, man.)  Sometimes, these crab cookers bundle up the claws and sell them to guys like me.  I asked the Blue Something or Other Crab Cookers to sell me some of those claws.  They told me they just throw them away!  OMG!  What a waste!

Red Bull Must-Haves!

For some time, I have had a free "subscription" to the Red Bull Magazine. This is a magazine designed to appeal to the young folks who try to kill themselves doing crazy things, like climbing up skyscrapers, biking over the Grand Canyon, riding a toothpick down the Colorado River... etc.  The magazine shows lots of 20 year olds looking happy as they risk their lives. "Live fast; die  young." Must be their mantra. 

Anyway, after a couple of years of a free subscription, they have decided to charge for the magazine. Sorry, Mr. Bull, I think I'll pass on this, and leave it to those young persons whose Madula Oblongatas have not yet matured.  Meanwhile, here is something from one of their magazine issues:

Tomorrow's World Items

JOHAMMER J1 ..  This is an electric motorbike that might tempt you.  It has disk tires and funny rear view mirrors.  It weighs just 392 pounds and can reach 60 mph.  Look for it.

MOTI .. This is a desk item that acts as a motivator. It vibrates and "flashes with glee" whenever you complete a task or learn a new habit.  It does not have an "off" switch.

 HANDIII  ..  This is a bionic arm controlled by muscle signals and a smartphone.  The Japanese are using their 3D printers to create copies.  It looks like something out of a new version of Star Trek. Supposedly, it will cost a lot less than a conventional prosthetic arm.

LUUV .. This is a stabilizer for your camera.  Does your camera shake uncontrollably?  Just use this stabilizer with a universal mount.  You can even hold it upside down for those action shots that the young Red Bull readers love.

RELATIVITY .. Wait a minute!  Something I might like to have.  Baltimore-based startup Hop Theory has created a tea-bag-like sachet "that transforms any beer into a quality brew in just four minutes."  I need to see this.   Go to hoptheory.com.

Trump Sign; Roku; CT Scan; 1939 Headlines; 1939 Food Prices

Nice cool Fall day.  A couple of trees are already coloring their leaves.  Last nite's "so-called" debate showed once again how unfit Trump is to lead our country.  Today, I came upon a National Review magazine dated February 2016, in which 20 Conservative leaders also said that he wasn't the right person to lead our Nation.  This surprised me.  The first person to talk badly about Trump was Glenn Beck, who I had thought would be one of his greatest supporters.

Did I mention the 3-sided Trump sign in Westminster?  It started out reading "TRUMP"  Yesterday, somebody had altered it to read "RUMP" on all three sides.  Today, the P was missing, so it read: RUM. 

ROKU

I'm very ashamed that I was not able to figure out why the ROKU was not working.  I called my son, Chris, who bought some new ROKU equipment and came over with his beautiful wife to help me get things going   again.  But.... the only thing that turned out to be the problem, was the fact that the ROKU box had been moved by the lady who tries to dust our furniture.  Somehow, the box got pushed way back and the remote couldn't find it.

It took Chris one minute to find out what the problem was.  The problem really was that I was too damn dumb to figure out that the remote needed to connect with the ROKU box.  My poor son was put into the terrible position of finding a logical solution to a problem that should not have been a problem.  I profusely apologize to my son!.

However, it was very pleasant to have Chris and Kathleen visit with us.  Lots of laughing going on.

Today.

Elaine and I both spent some time at the Westminster Radiology Lab.  She got good results.  I won't know about mine for a few days. I had a CT Scan.  Last year I had one, which lasted for an hour and was very uncomfortable.  This year, the whole thing was over in about ten minutes, and was kind of fun, because I was able to kibbitz with the technician.  My problem now will be with the urologist.  Will I need cancer treatment?  Hope not. 

History Lesson

I have a copy of the Baltimore News-Post dated Monday Evening, January 9, 1939.  I thought that it might be fun to see what the headlines were for those pre-WWII days:

Dr. Alan Woods' Home Robbed Of $2,000 Gems.
(Director of the Wilmer Institute lives in Guilford.)

Mrs. Nellie Castelberg Dies In Fall From 6-story Window In New York.
(Widow of Jewelry Company founder.)

LaGuardia Urges WPA Fund Boost.
(He calls Roosevelt request 40 million too low.)

Girl Hurt In 3-story Plunge.
(300 block of south Exeter Street)

Nazi Chief Warns On Cabaret Jokes.
(Julius Streicher said that he would "knock down" any cabaret artist who made jokes about the Nazi party or officials and would close the cabarets concerned.)

Auto Plant Closes, 7,400 Men Are Idle
(Chrysler in Detroit)

New Atom-Smasher Invented At Cornell
(A laboratory "Howitzer" designed to disintegrate atoms.)

Kills Woman Because She Laughed At Him
(35 year old hairdresser fired two bullets through the head of a 28 year old divorcee who had laughed at him.)

Urge Christians To Boycott Nazis
(The Volunteer Christian Committee to Boycott Nazi Germany wants Christians in the U.S. to boycott Germany)

23 Leaves 85 Waiting At Altar
(An 85 year old man came to a Cockeysville church today to meet his 23 year old bride-to-be, but she didn't show up, even after he bought her an expensive diamond wedding ring.)

Incidentally, the proofreader messed up on this one.  "Cockeysville" was printed as "Cookeysville",and "wooed and almost won"  turned out to read "wooed and almost fon."

Food Prices

You might be surprised at the food prices in 1939.(At the A & P)

Eggs: 2 dozen for 47 cents.

Juicy Florida oranges:  20 for 25 cents.

Iceberg lettuce:  2 heads for 11 cents.

Ground beef:  2 pounds for 29 cents.

Pure lard one pound for 9 cents.

Pink salmon: 2 tall cans for 19 cents

Herring roe: 17 ounce can for 14 cents.

Center cut pork chops: one pound for 22 cents.

(No bananas... too cold back then to get them to ripen??)

Of course, wages were a lot less back then.

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