OBSERVATION ON A SUNNY WINTER MORNING

1.  Obnoxious Ad Disappears

It feels so good not having to hear that irritating Honda Sales Ad all day long.

Were our complaints finally heard? or:

Had the ad campaign run its course?

Either way, it appears to have gone away, and that makes me happy.

2.  Robin Advance Team Disappears

All of those beautiful robins are no longer pulling up worms in our backyard.

Why?

Did they run out of tasty treats? or:

Did we imagine that they were back home after their Winter-weather migrations?  or:

Did they believe that their weather report had been duly noted by us human beings that Winter would soon be over?

Someone recently wrote on FB that some Robins do not migrate to warmer locations when cold weather is about to begin. I didn't know that; but I will continue to believe that our Maryland Robins were back home after migration.

3. Unnecessary Disappearances

I'm told that among eleven recent Carroll County covid deaths, seven persons had not been vaccinated.

Do some people want to die?

I find that very sad!

4.  Household Things Disappear

Have you ever heard of "The Borrowers?" 

These are little humanoid creatures that hide in your house and "borrow" things that you then can't find until they decide to return them.

(They are very sneaky in a humorous way.)

For example, they love to "borrow" my glasses. Those rascals know that it will be hard for me to look for my glasses when I can't see very well without them.

After they have had their fun, they will return them to the very last place I had just examined.

Some nights, if you shut off the TV and listen closely, you can hear the "borrowers' chuckles!"

Another trick that the "borrowers" play on most people after the age of sixty is something that is seldom attributed to them. It is as follows:

One is hurrying to the kitchen, but when there, one asks: "What am I here for?"

This also occurs when one is standing at the mid-point of a set of stairs and asks: "Am I going up, or coming down?"

Causing such situations is a favorite pastime when there is nothing of interest to borrow.

Now you know!

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Right now, I must disappear until next time.  Bye!

 DO YOU SPEAK RUSSIAN?

Russian Self Study

When I was stationed on a mountain in Germany, I had time to study several languages, including Russian. I can't give you examples of Russian, because I don't have the equipment or APP to type in Cyrillic.

In the ninth century, future Byzantine saints, Methodius and Cyril, joint "Apostles to the Slavs," developed a "new" alphabet that was later adopted and amended by their followers.  The followers called these alphabetic characters "Cyrillic" in honor of Saint Cyril.

Earlier Russian Stuff

As I have mentioned before, one of my buddies in Morse Code Class (Dan Carr) did so well that he was picked for a class to learn the Russian code characters to assist in our "Cold War" efforts.

I had read a (racy?) book by Vladimir Nabokov. Lolita in English translation. I had also read several interesting short Russian stories in monthly magazines. All in English translation.

Language Study at Boston University (BU)

In setting up my study plans at BU, I picked advanced courses in German and French, because I thought that my self-study in those languages would serve as "101" classes. Then, I decided that I might as well study Russian at the same time.

Could I handle that?  Well, I hoped so.

It was my belief that grammar was not important, and it would come naturally as one learned to speak it.  However, I wasn't willing to test that belief with the tough Russian language, so I signed up for Russia 101.  But I also signed up for spoken Russian.

Transportation

At the time I had five options for getting to Boston University.

1. Drive for about an hour and try to get one of the rare parking spaces.

2. Take the soon-to-be-discontinued train trip for 45 minutes. Then take the "El" and streetcar to the school, for another half hour.

3. Sign into a car-pool. See option 1 above.

4. Take the sleep-inducing Almeida Bus for an hour and a half, followed by the "El" and streetcar time mentioned in option 3 above.

5.  Move to Boston.

Over the next three years, I used all five of those options.

Russian 101

When I received a list of my approved classes I learned that the only Russian 101 class was at 8 AM!

This meant that to get to that class in Boston, I would have to get up at 6 AM, after working late at one of my many part-time jobs, rush through shaving and showering, and then do one of my options and hope that ice or snow drifts did not hamper my trip. 

So I canceled Russian 101.

Imagine my embarrassment when I discovered that the BU professor for Russian 101 lived four houses away from the home I grew up in!

And he had to travel to Boston every day to teach that class, beginning at 8 AM!

But I did keep "Spoken Russian."

Spoken Russian

Entering the "Spoken Russian" class, I encountered a militant looking Russian instructor (Olga) and twelve newly scrubbed students.

Olga told us her plans.  Each student would read aloud one of Afro-Russian Alexander Pushkin's satirical stories and also something by Mikhail Lermontov.  Later, each would give a five-minute speech in Russian!  My knees were shaking already.

When the next day's class started, I was the only student!

Govori, dzhozef!

Yes, and speak I did, in my hesitant version of Russian.  (Actually, Olga's English was worse than my Russian,) I read from the short assigned pieces (badly, I assumed.

And then! Time to write and present a five minute speech... in Russian!

(All of this aggravation for a measly one credit point?)

My speech was childish and outlined a visit by aliens to a golf course to talk with President Eisenhower in order to have him agree to peaceful coexistence.

After Olga woke up, she presented me with an "A." (Of course, grading on a curve meant that the only student in a class had to get the "A.") 

That was the end of my Russian study.

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 WHY ARE YOU SO CRABBY?

This is mainly a paean to the Maryland Blue Crab, but first:

BAIT

When I was around ten years old, my buddy Casey and I liked to ride our bicycles to Padanaram, Massachusetts and fish near its cement bridge.

We just used pieces of strong cord connected to hooks which we sometimes made from things like nails and metal paper clips.  We were not very good fisherman and I doubt if we ever even caught one fish worth cooking.

Some water-dwellers that we often found hugging our strings were large crabs coated with pleasant blue shells.  In our childish and utter disregard for living creatures, we broke these beautiful crabs open with rocks and used the "meat" for bait.

As far as I knew, the only persons who ate crabmeat lived "down south," far below the Mason-Dixon Line.

How dumb I was!

CRAB-EATERS HEAVEN

In 1960, my wife and I and our melodic parakeet migrated to Baltimore, Maryland. After an extensive review of our backgrounds, a nice couple allowed us to move into an apartment in a "homey" Baltimore suburb called "Hamilton."

We were hungry for something other than burgers and we asked our landlords if there was a restaurant nearby where we could get a good meal for a cheap price.

They gave us directions to a cafe on Harford Road, the main road at the time for Baltimore emigres to escape to New England in order to get away from corrupt politicians, such as future Governor Spiro  Agnew. (But- that is another story.)

The cafe was pleasantly dark, but smelly like a New Bedford fishing boat and noisy as hell.  In fact, it sounded like the banging in Verdi's "anvil chorus."  This was not a problem for us.

We watched an elderly waitress say, "Here's your crabs, Hon!" She had already covered a neighbor's table with copies of the Baltimore News- American newspaper.  We shook our heads. We guessed that they could not afford table-cloths.

The waitress had a large pan filled with something.  She then dumped that something on top of the newspaper.

It was indeed crabs! They looked like the blue crustaceans that we kids used to crush for bait! We decided to order beans and hot dogs.

We talked about this experience with our landlords and they invited us to a crab feast at their weekend home on the shore of the Magothy River.

They showed us how to catch crabs that were extremely plentiful at the time. (This would be our supper!)

They showed us how to keep from being stung by the also plentiful sea nettles as we pulled crabs out of the water. (Jellyfish to you Landlubbers,)

They showed us how to add spicy Old Bay seasoning to the pile of crabs and then steam them until their blue color became red.  (Similar to the Grand Inquisitor's punishment for being a non-believer.)

They showed us how to crack open the creatures' shells to get at white meat, including sweet-tasting morsels that lay hidden inside their claws.

Guess what! It was all delicious!  Washed down with some cold National Bo beer, we knew that we were now in the "Land of Pleasant Living!"

From then on, whenever relatives and friends from New England would come to visit, we would indoctrinate them in the "cult of the Steamed Crab."

For instance, at first, my visiting sister-in-law, Joann would only say "Yuk!" when she saw steamed crabs, but after she relaxed and tasted a bit of that sweet and spicy meat, she became one of crabmeat's most vociferous advocates.

THE CRABS' REVENGE

This year, crab prices are high and I decided to buy West Coast Crab Claws instead.  For an unbelievably low price during a Super Market sale, our helper bought twenty pounds and I have been periodically feasting on them.

However, these crab claws are not like blue crab claws.  They have very sharp, curved and pointy tips.  As I was recently getting some out of the freezer and ready to heat and eat, one stabbed jme on the hand. The puncture is close to some large veins and I will have to be vigilant in watching for signs of infection.

Score one for crab revenge!

PS:  Did I say I love Maryland steamed crabs?

 

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 EVEN MORE ODDS AND ENDS

1. DIVING - INTO CAVES

I just read that a group of "SCUBA Enthusiasts" will be offering diving products and classes in Eldersburg, Maryland.

This reminds me of one of our good friends who loved to spend time underwater.  He also was opening a diving shop in Eldersburg when he heard about an underwater cave in Guatemala that had never been explored.  It was believed to be a "bottomless pit."

Our friend had lots of experience exploring underwater caves and felt very qualified to investigate this one. He packed his diving gear and headed to Guatemala, where he quickly dove into "the unknown."

He was never heard of again.

          

2.  THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

Growing up, I was intrigued with the story of a hero who fights against the evils inflicted on people by their so-called "leaders," especially during "The Inquisition."

This story was about Don Quixote (or The Ingenious Gentleman Sir Don Quixote of La Mancha, -- El ingeniosa hidalgo don Quixote de la Mancha) and was written and published in the seventeenth century by Miguel de Cervantes.

Americans pronounce the hero's last name like "key oatie"; Brits pronounce it like "quicks ot." (I think.)

It is a story of an ordinary, but accomplished man who detests those cruel "leaders," and who hops on his "faithful steed," Rosinante, and gallops away with his "faithful squire," Pancho Panza to free slaves and beat up the "bad guys."

The "bad guys" often turn out to be the windmills that dot the Spanish landscape.  Along the way, he tries to be very heroic, to impress the beautiful Dulcinia, whom he feels is as sweet as her name implies.

During the World War, my mother told me to always fight against injustice and be like the Don. She also told me to dream "high," because I should be able to do anything I dream of.

The story of Don Quixote has inspired lots of artwork.  For instance, Pablo Picasso created the following:

Some other works:

1959 The Man of La Mancha, teleplay by Dale Wasserman

1965 The Man of La Mancha, musical, book by Dale Wasserman

1972 Man of La Mancha, movie, with Peter O'Toole as the Don, James Coco as Sancho Panza, and (my fellow birthday partner) Sophia Loren as Dulcinea.

2000 Don Quixote, play starring Baltimore's own John Lithgow as the Don.

2021 The True Don Quixote

I believe that these movies are free to watch on the Internet, and, of course, some of these works can be viewed on You Tube.

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Continue tilting at windmills!

 MORE ODDS AND ENDS

1. AD INFINITUM

I've mentioned this before, but it is something that still irritates me and in my opinion is a blow to human intelligence.

This is an ad for Honda automobile sales, and it plays on my podcasts over and over.  For instance, during one recent podcast, there were three "breaks" to allow the same ad to play.

I realize that repetition is important, but please, not that much.

(By the way, my son owns a Honda that he loves,)

Well, now I have learned a way to not have to listen to that ad.  Whenever I hear the announcer's melliferous voice begin its spiel, I speak loudly, "Bulls..." and repeat it until I feel that the ad is over. It usually takes blurting the word fifty times, but it makes me feel good to do my repetitions versus Honda's repetitions!

2. FOR THE BIRDS

Elaine has a bird feeder glued to one of her windows, and lately, "birds of a different color" have been fighting over the seed enclosed within.

In addition, our backyard is under siege by all kinds of colorful birds:

Blue jays, Cardinals, Grackles, Juncos, and of course, sparrows who look chubby from puffing up their feathers to avoid the cold weather.

But ... there are a lot of Robins, and it looks like they have dug up little holes here and there to catch wormy treats.  I'm told that robins don't reappear from their migration site until "the early end of Winter."

So, forget about Punxsutawney Phil, robins may be better season predictors.

I've also been told that an abundance of robins means that one should expect a visit from a deceased relative!

 

Yeah, I know, this isn't a robin, it's a bluebird.

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 ODDS AND ENDS

It's time for me to talk about some matters of great concern.  To whom?  Why, me. of course!

WHO ME?

To celebrate the Chinese Year of the Tiger, my nephew, Michael sent my daughter, Diane a case of "HOO-MEE Chow Mein mix.  Diane shared a couple of packages with me.

HOO-MEE is made by a company in Fall River that knows what kind of Chinese food the people in Southeastern Massachusetts love, and I believe it is a different item than that which is "native" to any other location in the United States.

(Chow mein is a bastardized form of an authentic dish called, in Mandarin "ch'ao mien" or "stir-fried noodles".)

HOO-MEE food packages contain lots of crispy noodles and a gravy maker.  Other items are usually added to the noodle mixture.  Diane reminded me that her mother would add hamburger or chicken, chopped onions and celery.  Diane likes to add stir-fry vegetables.

Growing up in the 1940's, students in New Bedford, Massachusetts spent a split day of school. Most of the mothers were working full-time to contribute to the war effort and could not be home to provide a home-cooked dinner for their kids at noon-time.

Instead, most mothers would give their children thirty-five cents each for them to use at Charlie Wong's Restaurant.  For that price, they could get a giant helping of chow mein atop a slice of white bread, accompanied by a six-ounce coke.

We kids loved it!

I cooked a package yesterday and even without additives it tasted good and reminded me of my hometown.

JUSTICE FOR ALL?

Rachel Maddow stirred my juices yesterday when she reported on this situation.

She said that the only so-called "fraud" found in the last Presidential election was by four or five men who attempted to register some dead relatives to vote.  One person was jailed for two days; the rest received probation.

However, a formerly convicted felon was arrested when she attempted to register to vote.  I believe that former felons are not allowed to vote, but she had a note from her probation officer saying that she could legally register.

In spite of that documentation, a judge slapped her with a six-year jail term.  How is that for "equal justice under the law."

Two days probation or two days in jail versus six years in the "slammer?"

(I may have a bit of this story wrong, but I doubt it.)

THE GOLDEN AGE

Marguerite Loucks Dye wrote many old-age-related humorous poems in her A Smile, A Chuckle, or a Loud Guffaw. Here are a couple that I like:

Helpful Harry

A just-married elderly couple checked in

To a lavish hotel their first night.

The bridegroom went into the bathroom and stayed

While the bride primped in bed, feeling high as a kite.

When her husband emerged from the bathroom at last

"Are you alright, my dear?" she did coo

"I did all my chores, then brushed my teeth,

and while I was at it, I brushed yours, too."

You want to sit where?

An usher pointed out a couple he'd seated

"I know they are new to our church," he did tease.

"Cuz when I asked where they'd prefer to sit,

They answered, 'In non-smoking, please.'"

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 "LOVE IS THE TENDER TRAP" BUT IT'S ALSO "A MANY SPLENDORED THING"

These love-themed songs were popular in 1955. (I remember them well!)

Get ready!  Valentine's Day will be here soon.

At school, did you have to participate in that hated ritual of creating love-themed cards to be randomly handed out on that special day?

And, there were always those students who believed that they would get good grades if they presented their teachers roses or frilly cards. Yuk!

I did like to get V-day cards myself once in a while, but I was always too shy to give one to my latest "crush."

LOVE QUOTATIONS

Love by Roy Blount Jr. in Alphabet Soup:

"The old Frisian version was luve, which may make us think of Woody Allen's character in Annie Hall, trying to convey to the Diane Keaton character how much he loves her by saying, 'I looove you.  I lerve you ...'"

Love by Ambrose Bierce in The Devil's Dictionary

"A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influence under  which he incurred the disorder..."

Love (and Marriage) by Bennett Cerf in Treasury of Atrocious Puns

"An unfortunate husband in Hackensack socked his (beloved) wife with a bowl of Jello. She emerged unscathed if messy, then had him arrested for carrying a congealed weapon."

Love by Charles Earle Funk in Heavens to Betsy!

"Love me, love my dog!"  A phrase In other words which may mean, "Whatever my faults, you must put up with them."

This is attributed to Saint Bernard of Clairvaux in the twelfth century who wrote in Latin:

"Qui me amat, amat et canem meum!"

An egoist's Love boasts by Williaqm H. Roylance  in Complete Book of Insults, Boasts, and Riddles

"Girls love me for the rest of their daze."

"I wish I had a split personality so I could marry myself."

"I believe in love at first sight.  I can still remember when I saw my first mirror." 

Love according to Merriam-Webster's Desk Dictionary (1995)

love - noun - 

1. Strong affection

2. Warm attachment (like love of the sea)

3.  Attraction based on sexual desire.

4.  A beloved person.

5.  Unselfish and benevolent concern for others,

6.  Score of zero in tennis.

love - verb -

1. Cherish.

2.  Feel a passion, devotion, or tenderness for.

4.  Caress.

5.  To take pleasure in.

Love according to a Russian scientist

Love is a chemical reaction!

What do you think?

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