Sneaky Squirrel; Racial Identity; Archie Bunker; Justice; Shakespeare; Marlowe; Quotes; Mensa Humor

Rainy and cool.

Sneaky and his Brothers

Our friendly, always hungry squirrel came back to visit us today and brought two brothers.  One of them got soaked from the rain and looked like a sewer rat.  Tomorrow's sun should fix him up.

Alt-Right

Alt-Right equates to All-White.

Racial Identity?

Ken Wibecan and Virginia Hood wrote in the Internet bulletin about race:

"Fact:  Not one characteristic, trait, or gene distinguishes all members of one so-called race from all members of another so-called race."

"Race, like ethnicity and culture, is a social construct, and visible characteristics of race are unreliable indicators of genetic and ethnic variation.  Because people have been described in this way, however, and relegated to these categories (particularly in the USA), race has been and continues to be used, as if it has scientific validity, even by thinking individuals whose education and training should inform them otherwise."

Archie Bunker on Justice

"It's a proven fact that Capital Punishment is a known detergent for crime."

"I didn't insult the Defense Attorney.  I just told him what I thought of pinko, bleeding-heart lawyers who get sentimental over killers."

"It's an open and shut case.  Two witnesses see this Martinez coming home, one witness sees him go into his apartment, and the rest is simply induction.  He finds his old lady in there with another spic, whips out his switchblade --and Zap! --he sends him to the Big Taco Stand in the sky."

Wait a Minute!

Recently, the Oxford University Press said that Christopher Marlowe will be given official co-authorship  credit with Shakespeare.  At least, with the three historical dramas about Henry VI.

No... No... No... Please No!

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Some good quotes from Readers Digest:

Critiquing:

Billy Wilder:  "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

Cats

Jeff Valdez: "Cats are smarter than dogs.  You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow."

Calvinism:

Stephen Hawking:  "I have noticed that even people who claim everything is predetermined and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road."

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Strange Info from Harper's Index

Female genital mutilation has occurred to 79% of Egyptian girls 15 to 17 years old.  However, in 2008, Egypt passed a law banning the procedure.

One fifth of lesbian, gay and bisexual Republicans oppose same-sex marriage.  (Now how the hell do they know that?) 

The number of U.S. measles cases has increased almost 12% since 2013.

Three U.S. politicians have distributed AR-15 assault rifles at campaign events this year..

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Some High-IQ Humor?

The Mensa Bulletin for September 2016 published some humorous questions  submitted by Simon Goldstein:

Q: What famous movie director started his career as a manufacturer of rope?

A:  Sisal B. DeMille

Q:  What piece of clothing are all female cemetery employees required to wear?

A:  A graveyard shift.

Q:  When Doctor Watson handed Sherlock Holmes a rock for identification, what did Sherlock say?

A:   Sedimentary, my dear Watson.

(OK, OK, don't get mad at me... yell at Simon!)

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Politics; Electors Revolt; Eating Disorder; Dieting; Joke; Pun

Cool but sunny.

Politics Again

A Texas elector is now saying that he will resign rather than cast a vote for Mr. Trump for President.  Also, there are hints of a rebellion by some electors.  Maybe this election is not yet over. 

I believe that some Pennsylvania college professor has indicated that it would have been easy to hack into the voting system and alter votes.  Hmmm?

Eating Disorder/Dieters' Hope?

The New York Times reports on a young lady who has a very rare bodily problem that requires her to eat something every fifteen minutes.  It also attacks the face of the person and makes a teen-ager look like a smoking 40 year old.  Doctors are studying the situation and they are hoping to somehow get some tip from her body on how to get obese people to lose weight. 

Welcome Aboard!

(A joke from Jack Hickey in the Saturday Evening Post:)

After the funeral, the bereaved husband chatted with the preacher outside the church.

"Remember, son, she's going to a better place," the preacher said, just before a clap of thunder rattled the church windows.

The husband looked toward the sky and said, "Guess she's arrived."


Get Ready!

A man goes to his dentist because he feels something is wrong in his mouth.  The dentist examines him and says, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding.  What have you been eating?"

The man replies, "All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious.  Hollandaise sauce.  I loved it so much I now put it on everything, on meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything."

"Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem.  Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive.  It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time I'll use chrome."

"Why chrome?" asks the patient.

To which the dentist replies, "It's simple.  Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

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I warned you.  I don't know who sent me that pun, but I really like it.

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Readers Digest; Icky Stuff; Earwax; Pimple Pus; Fingernail Dirt; Eye Crud; Mucus; Belly Button Lint; Blister Fluid

Sunny and cool.

Icky stuff!

The Readers Digest for December 2016 has a one page "eye opening" explanation of all that gooey, sticky, smelly and icky stuff that accumulates in our bodies.  In case you haven't read the article (by Kelsey Kloss), here is my understanding of the "Body Gunk" article:

Earwax

Now I know why my hearing aid doesn't work.  It's because my ear canal is clogged up with cerumen, also known as earwax.  Earwax is not wax... it is a mixture of sloughed off hair, dead skin cells, oil and sweat.  All of this "gunk" supposedly lubricates the ear canal and helps you hear. 

Unfortunately, this "gunk" periodically coalesces and clogs my ear canal and makes my hearing aid inoperable.  So, I travel to my ear doctor and she scoops out the "gunk" and sends me on my way.  With that procedure done, my hearing aid begins to work again... at least for a week or so.

Pimple Pus

(Kelsey calls pus puss, which could cause some confusion.. maybe to Mr. Trump. Also, it seems to me that cruel teenagers would often refer to another kid with zits as "Pimple Puss.")

Anyway, pus is what we squeeze out of zits.  Kelsey says it will contaminate surrounding pores when it "oozes out." (Sorry for that, but you'll have to yell at Kelsey, instead of me.)

Fingernail Dirt

Kelsey says that this "grime" is a combination of keratin (whatever that it), skin cells, hand-lotions and such, and, of course, good old fashioned "dirt."  And, you may not want to believe it, but there is probably contamination under your fingernails, placed there accidentally when using a toilet. (Ugh!)  Also, if you cook, you may have raw food residue there too.

Eye Crud

A lot of yucky stuff collects in the corners of your eyes.  You'll find it there when you wake up in the morning.  Kelsey says it consists of mucus, dead skin cells, oil and even dust.  At least, during the day, blinking gets rid of it.

Mucus

"...water, dead white blood cells, salts, and proteins..."  make up mucus (you know what it looks like). "Mucus protects you by trapping bacteria that enter the body."  I never thought of it that way. 

Belly Button Lint

Yes, researchers have discovered that some lint accumulates there, as well as dead skin, sweat, dust and even fat (how does fat accumulate there?)  If you are a cro magnum person, there is probably hair growing around your belly button.  Kelsey says: "Hair spirals around the belly button, directing debris inward."

(Speaking of debris... one summer, I worked shoveling out houses which had been buried in sand during a major New England hurricane.  The supervisor kept saying "Move that DEBRIZ!"
Of course, we smart-aleck college students "knew" what he should have said was "Move that DEBREE!"  However, some  years later I learned that lots of Brits say DEBRIZ.  So, as usual, we didn't know as much as we thought we knew.)

Blister Water

Clear fluid under a blister protects the irritated tissue during healing. Kelsey warns us to be concerned if the fluid is white or yellow rather than clear.  This could indicate an infection.

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Now, if you want to know more about this "gunk," get a copy of the Digest.. on page 122 is the original article, with some good internet references.

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Crossword Puzzles; Cryptics; Tasmanian Devil Milk; MRSA; Pareidolia; Zebras

Sunny, cool Fall day.

Crossword Puzzles

I tore about 50 crossword puzzles out of The Week magazines hoarded by Elaine.  I try to do at least 3 of them a day.  Only about 10 left.  It's amazing how much the "setters" use the same letters in different puzzles, but with different clues.  I can't imagine how hard it must be to create a new puzzle each day.  I have had a computer program that I could manipulate to produce crossword puzzles.  I made a few that were published in the Social Security Alumni Association Newsletter.  Even with a program it was tedious. So, I'll just stick with solving other people's.

Cryptics

I think I mentioned that I like to do British style crossword puzzles.. so-called Cryptics.

They are a little hard for Americans to figure out at first, so most people just give up on them.  However, if you keep at it, they get a bit easier.  Try it, you'll eventually like it.

Crosswords in other Languages

German: lots of different kinds, but much repetition of clues.

French: seems as though each puzzle is almost the same as each other.  Easy, if you have even a rudimentary mastery of French.  At least that is my opinion.

Italian:  fun, but you need a good background in the language.

Breakthrough?

The Week reports that Australian researchers have discovered that the milk produced by Tasmanian devils can be used to fight antibiotic resistant superbugs like MRSA.

By the way, a few years ago I was really upset to learn that I had the MRSA bug in my system. I was told that's there was nothing they could do to get rid of it for me.  Later, my daughter, Diane, spent a long time in the hospital and rehab and also was told that she had the MRSA bug.  So, apparently, if you have spent any time in the hospital, you may have been exposed to the bug.

The last time Elaine was in the hospital, her room was quarantined because of MRSA. 

So.. lets get out some very short three-legged stools and start to milk these devils!

Does that Potato look like Nixon?

I want to quote from an article in the Saturday Evening Post for November 2016:

"There are lots of studies that show that people's brains are primed to see faces and patterns in inanimate objects.  The phenomenon even has a name: pareidolia.  We've come to understand that this predisposition became hard-wired into human brains for survival.  A baby who recognizes a human face or a hunter who see patterns made by an animal in the grass is going to have an advantage over one who does not.  The same natural tendency to look for and see faces and patterns all around us also sometimes inspires people to see the Virgin Mary in a piece of toast or an old man's face on the side of a mountain."

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By the way, believe it or not, every Zebra has a different stripe pattern, but baby zebras never have any trouble finding their mamas within a zebra crowd.

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Thanksgiving Dinner Memories; SKYPE; Virtual Reality; Dick Tracy; Vocabulary Test Results

Nice Fall day. Since it was "Black Friday,"  I didn't venture out to shop for necessities., like beer and wine. 

Yesterday, Elaine and I had a great Thanksgiving meal at the beautiful home of my son and his lovely wife, Kathleen.  Most of my grandchildren were there, as well as my great grandchild.  It does my heart good to see how they are all now taller than me.  One grandson was worried that he was going to be a short guy, but he has sprouted up in a short period of time. He's still a little worried, because people have told him he looks like I did when I was his age.  Sorry.  He'll get over it. (But, of course, he is a very handsome boy!)  (This is where I am supposed to put an emoticon with a smiling face.)

Talking to a couple of my grandkids, I learned how to download 350 pictures from my cell phone and  found out about some apps that will be useful. Smart kids!  And handsome and beautiful too!

I like to remember back when I was kid at Thanksgiving day.  My grandmother spent a long time cooking a turkey, making cranberry sauce, mashing potatoes, creating the stuffing, cooking the vegetables and baking lots of pies.  I don't think she got any help from my grandfather or uncles. Some of my aunts helped out, but I doubt my mother did, even though she was a great cook.  She cooked meals every day for the folks she worked for so she needed a day off from that job.

Some folks did not show up for the Thanksgiving dinner and we didn't know why, because we were too poor to have a telephone.  What a difference yesterday.  Via SKYPE, we all were able to see and talk to my sister, her boy friend, and cousin in New Bedford, Massachusetts.  Amazing! This was something that I thought about for years and wondered if we would ever have.

Who knows what is next.  Our relatives right next to us via virtual reality?  Probably. All of the future objects that we drooled over when we read the Dick Tracy comic strip are here now.  What a time we live in.

Kurzweill predicts that in 2040 we will be able to upload our brain contents to whatever the "cloud" is then.  This will give us eternal life... well, at least until the sun lashes out and burns us up.

Meanwhile, I keep finding how dumb I am, for instance:

Readers Digest has a monthly test of  "Word Power" and during a recent test, I bombed out on 4 words that I thought I knew:

plangent:  very loud  (I thought it was flexible) This comes from the Latin verb: plangere, to strike or beat one's chest in grief, or to lament. 

chthonic:  of the underworld (I thought it was having sharp claws) This is from the Greek word for "earth."  Hades lives under the earth, where he rules, and he is called a chthonic diety.

.

gormless:  stupid (I thought it was lacking firm shape)  This began in Britain and is still used there much more than in the U.S. It started as:  gaum (attention) and less. 

pixilated:  mentally unbalanced (I thought it was elfin.) This is just a corruption of "pixie."  Is a leprechaun pixilated?

Shame on me for missing these words. I have seldom, if ever felt the need to use these words in my correspondence.   However, I will attempt to rectify that situation by slipping them into my blog entries from time to time.

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Whale Songs; Bible Phrases; Phoney News; Sauerkraut; Turkeys; Lum and Abner; Cheerfulness

Another cool Fall day.  But no wind.  That's good.

Old but Good Stuff

I had a crossword puzzle from The Week Magazine for May, 2011 that I had not completed.  I found it the other day and completed it.  On the same page were a couple of contests that interested me:

1.  This Week's Question:  Since it has been determined that whales sing tunes that can be heard  and mimicked by other whales for up to 4,000 miles, what could possibly be the #1 hit tune on the cetacean hit parade?

Elaine wrote: "I am so Blue."  I thought this was a great response and sent it in to be considered.  No luck.  I don't recall the winning entry.. but it obviously could not compare to Elaine's entry.

2. Last Week's Contest:  Translate a famous phrase from the Bible into current lingo. 

The Winner:  "My God, my God! Why have you unfriended me?"

Third Place:  "And on the seventh day, He chilled.

(Waiting for the lightning to strike.)

Phony News

NPR tracked down the guy who was responsible for creating phony news during the election campaign.  He is a Democrat who would have liked for Hillary to win.  So, why did he create garbage stories that the Republicans used to fire up their supporters?

He said that he did it to mess up the Alt Right people.  The false news story would go out and the Alt Right would grab onto it and make sure that it was widely distributed through their sites.  Then, supposedly, the story would be tagged as false and withdrawn, shaming the Alt Right folks. (I don't thing that it worked that way though.)

P.U.

Elaine and I are making sauerkraut for tomorrow's Thanksgiving dinner.  Us New Englanders never realized that some folks (namely, Germans in Maryland) liked to  have sauerkraut with their turkey. Elaine's recipe calls for lots of turkey meat, apples, and unions blended with the kraut and cooked in a crock pot for a long time.  I never liked sauerkraut, but I do like Elaine's.  And the smell of it cooking is really not that bad.  One gets used to it quickly.  But it does kind of smell like someone has run over a skunk nearby.

You Turkey!

NPR reports that the Pilgrims brought some turkeys to the New World and they mated with native birds to create a delicious tasting turkey called a Narragansett Turkey (New England area name).  However, after a while these turkeys dwindled until there were only ten of them some years ago. Far seeing farmers worked on restoring them and now there are supposedly thousands on farms near and far.  One farmer reported selling out with hundreds of them this week... the going price was $6 or $7 a pound, but the flavor is reported to be much better than other type turkeys.


Lum and Abner

I hope that you have been able to listen to a rebroadcast of the Lum and Abner radio show from November 1942.  The "boys" just can't chop poor "handsome Clarence's" head off and cook him for dinner.  Instead, they call up the local café and arrange a cooked one to be delivered.  It's a very funny and thought-provoking session.  It gets played every year on WAMU-FM's Old Time Radio Show (Sunday Nights at 7:00 pm at 88.5). 

Cheerfulness

I'm almost done with listening to the Great Course on Emotions. I've mentioned before that the professor does not believe that emotions are spontaneous.  He believes that they are deliberately thought out before coming to the fore.  This may take only milliseconds and directly relates to how we were brought up and what our culture expects.

The final emotion that he is covering is cheerfulness.  He agrees with Europeans that Americans are too cheerful.  That we seem like idiots, grinning all the time while life is not that pleasant.

Well.. I disagree. Americans live in a place where there is freedom to become whatever we want to be, if we have the talent and "push" to motivate ourselves to find opportunities, and that can contribute to cheerfulness, in my opinion. (If it is so bad to be cheerful, why do those dour Europeans change to cheerful Americans in a short period of time, living in the United States?)

Living where we live, everybody who has lived here any length of time will say "Hi!", wave, or pass the time with others they meet on the campus.  You can tell the new folks; they will try to avoid eye contact for a while until they relax.  Cheerfulness probably contributes to the lifestyle that has resulted in the large number of 100 year old people who live here.

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Adieu, mon Ami!

Gale Winds; Birthday Party; Some Grandma Jokes; Sex Education; Age; More Wind; The Story; Thai Food; Chocolates

Gale winds continue to blow.  Three days now, and cold.  This is like living in the "Little House on the Prairie."  Sooner or later, everything will equalize and we can go outside without being blown away.

We had Elaine's 70th birthday party yesterday.  Everyone said they had a good time.  The food was good (even some for people to take home) and the music was just right.  Elaine let me do a little emceeing, but I couldn't do too many jokes because she wanted it to be a kind of serious occasion.  It's not everyday that you have a 70th birthday.

Here are the jokes I told, in case  you weren't there:

What does a Woman want in a Man?

At age 60:

He doesn't scare children.
He remembers where the bathroom is.
He only snores softly.
He is able to stand up by himself.
He likes soft food.
He remembers where he left his teeth.

But, at age 70:

He is breathing.
He usually doesn't miss the toilet.

How Old are You?

When her grandson asked Elaine how old she was, she teasingly replied: "I'm not sure."

"Look in your underwear, Grandma" he advised, "mine says I'm 4 to 6."

Sex Education?

Grandma's granddaughter who was in second grade, told her grandma: "Grandma, guess what? Last week we learned how to make babies."

Grandma, a little shocked, recovered enough to ask: "That's interesting, how do you make babies?"

"It's simple, Grandma.  You just change the 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

Shame on You!

Two kids talking and one says: "My grandparents are funny.  When they bend over you hear gas leaks and then they blame their dog."

Acute Observation

Her grandson asked grandma:  "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"

Feeling proud, Grandma asked: "No, how are we alike?"

"You're both old," he replied.

The Story

Her granddaughter, when very young, was diligently pounding away on Grandma's word processor.  She said that she was writing a story.

"What's it about? asked Grandma.

"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read yet."

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I had a lot more ready.. but this was enough.

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Today, we got up early and went on a trip to the Columbia Mall.  This was a trip on a Carroll Lutheran Village bus and not many folks went.  We spent a lot of time at the mall eating Thai food. Excellent!  They snagged us right away by offering lots of free samples.

The only other thing we did of any importance was to buy a box of Wochenfuss chocolates.  Elaine picked out twenty delicious delicacies.  Eating those, plus the chocolate favors that we had left over from the birthday party means that our blood sugar levels will be sky-high.  But, what the hell, we don't overindulge that often.

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Incidentally, another 8 Christmas catalogs appeared in our mailbox today!

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