Notes on Crime and Technology

These entries are either from The Week Magazine, Harper's, or In These Times.

CRIME

Prison Inmates

Per 1,000 persons:

In China: 1.2
In Russia: 4.8
In Louisiana:  13.4

Why is this?

Is it because America is much freer than other countries and therefore it is easier for its inhabitants to try to take advantage of their neighbors?

Louisiana is a Southern state;  therefore, is this a racial bias statistic? I believe that Afro-Americans make up the bulk of the prison population, especially in the South.

Is this because America is basically a Calvinistic country, where punishment for every real or perceived crime must be reacted to?

Is this because of our out-dated marijuana laws; where small amounts of pot have consistently gotten long jail sentences by otherwise law-abiding citizens?

The Netherlands has stopped jailing nonviolent offenders and have halved their prison population in 10 years.  Some alternate "punishment" in the Netherlands:  Fines, Electronic Bracelets, Community Work.  I'm sure some jurisdictions in the U.S. are applying these methods.  It would be interesting to see if it is having the intended results.

Stupid Criminal

A suspected drug smuggler in Britain swallowed a bunch of drug packets before his arrest and has refused to move his bowels for almost a month.  Police can be patient in this case.

This reminds me of an old joke headline:

THIEVES STOLE ALL OF THE TOILETS IN THE POLICE STATION.  FRUSTRATED, POLICE OFFICIALS SAY THEY HAVE NOTHING TO GO ON.

I just purchased a new DVD player and am watching the first season of Fargo, a great satire of criminal and police activity, although supposed to be a true story.  Gruesome to watch just before bedtime.

TECHNOLOGY

DNA

A new company supposedly will pay you with its own cryptocurrency for your DNA.  They will then sell this information to researchers and drug companies.  Is this somehow related to the 23andme company that gets your DNA and also asks you to do a health survey?

Mind Reader

MIT does it again.  They have developed a wearable device that interprets non-verbal prompts, which they say is like "reading your mind."   The so-called Alter-Ego attaches to your head and its electrodes detect internal muscular signals in your jaw and face.

I'm sure that this will be the new thing for the 2020's.  This and Alexa will make you feel as though you are Thomas Jefferson, controlling lots of slaves while reclining in your hammock.

Space Reader

And, I'm sure you have already suspected would happen if you own an Alexa-type item:  German scientists have figured out a way to receive a 3-D picture of the room Alexa is in, based on WiFi signals taken in by the equipment!  Sehr klug, nicht wahr?

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Notes on Religion, Guns and Longevity

While trump is making a fool of himself again in the eyes of our allies, our enemies... except for his "followers"...  I thought that I might escape the news and post a few notes on subjects that I am interested in.

Longevity

From: Senior Center Comedy:  

A reporters interviewing a 104 year old woman asked:  "What do you think is the best thing about being 104?"  She simply replied:  "No peer pressure!"

She also said that she had decided to prepare her will and told the reporter that she had two final requests.  First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes to be scattered over WalMart.  "Why WalMart?" asked the reporter.  "Because then I'll be sure my daughters will visit me twice a week."

From:  The Week Magazine:

A new company called Nectome is developing a "high tech" embalming process that will preserve your brain contents.  In the future, scientists will use it to prepare a computer simulation of you... though not exactly you...  The only drawback is that you have to be euthanized first!

From:  Yahoo "My Life Profile" (2014)

I was notified that someone had viewed a profile of my life.  Curious, I asked for more detail.  I was told that the viewer was a 113 year old male who lived near me in Westminster, Maryland.

Guns

From The Week Magazine:

A 5 year old boy shot and killed his 2 year old sister with a birthday present gift that he had just received.  It was a single shot "Cricket" sold under the marketing slogan "My First Rifle."

Keystone Sporting Arms continues to see "Crickets" that come in appealing colors for kids, like "hot pink" and "multicolor swirl."

Also From The Week Magazine:

American Legacy Firearms unveiled the "Dallas Heritage Rifle"  to commemorate the 50th anniversary of Lee Harvey Oswald's assassination of President John F. Kennedy.  The company boss said: "If I hurt someone's feelings, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna worry about it."


Religion

Once again from The Week Magazine:

There is a German firm called Atheist which ships parcels to the United States.  However, half of their parcels do not show up and the company thinks that religious U.S. Postal workers are disrupting the deliveries because the name of the company is stamped on the packages.   Could be.

Finally, from Wait Wait Don't Tell Me (I think):

There is a new nightclub act called:   The Topless Rabbis.

That's right, they are not wearing their yamakas!

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Stand Up Comedian

Over my 20 or so years with the Toastmasters organization I did a lot of "stand up" comedy.  I also heard many comedy bits done by other members.  I was also able to be the comedy EMCEE of note at several Carroll County senior functions during the 1990's.   During this time, I neither used nor heard used cruel statements about other people.  I also never heard nor used "off-color" material.

I do not believe that you need to use gross or cruel material in a comedy routine to be funny.  In fact, to show you how prudish I am, I refused to got to "comedy night" with some of my family because I did not want to hear "off-color" talk in their company.  My late wife and I taught our children to act and talk respectfully at home and when with other people.

Be that as it may... I do like funny material... even if it is a little risque and clever.  But, please do not invade my space with F words or S words.  Not in my house!

So.. why am I saying all this?  Because of the shtick done by a comedian at this year's White House Correspondents' Dinner.  A very funny routine in many ways... but gross in its language and innuendo in others.  And.. cruel in others.

Let me be clear... anything said about trump has been earned by his words and actions.  He is gross.  And he is very cruel... just one example: how he made fun of a disabled person during his campaign.

And Kellyanne Conway ..  everything she says deserves arrows of derision.  I wonder if she has ever listened to what she has said.  However, jokes about her looks seem to me to be too cruel.

And Sarah Huckabee Sanders (sp?) ..  this poor lady has been taken in by the president and I think she actually believes what he tells her.  She will probably have her own radio show someday and I think she will do fine after she divorces herself from the clown in the White House.    I'm sure she expected to have arrows thrown at her during the dinner.  However... as with Kelly Ann, I think jokes about her  looks are too cruel.

Remember:  This year would be the 100th birthday of a great comedian, Jack Paar.  He and other greats, such as Jack Benny and Bob Hope, did not have to rely on smut to be good. (At least, not in public.)

Bottom Line:  I think the Correspondents' Dinner comedian's jokes were very funny... but some of them were too cruel.. and her potty mouth and sexual innuendo just made her sound like an eleven year old boy trying out bad words for their shock value.

For heaven's sake:  Screen the scripts of future comedians!

Trivial Stuff #4

Have I mentioned that Alexa is now a vital part of our household?  This "hockey puck" keeps us entertained every day.  For instance:   I just got through listening to Wait Wait Don't Tell Me as broadcast by Alexa.  Later today, I will listen to the Embedded podcast concerning that "snake" Scott Pruitt.

Every week day when I get up, I say "Flash" to Alexa and get news from NBC, ABC, The Wallstreet Journal, and a few other agencies, as well as the weather forecast for Westminster, Maryland.  After that I get to hear the Rachel Maddow Show from the night before... and without commercials.

A week ago, my WiFi took a hit from something or other and I lost Alexa for a few days.  When I got her back, I was surprised and said:  "Alexa, you're back!"  Alexa immediately responded:  "I'm glad to be back!"

Praise Amazon....  for Alexa..  for my Prime membership from my son and his wife which allows me to order something in the evening and find it at my doorstep the next morning.  Ain't technology wonderful?  What will our future look like?  (And none of this is due to president trump.... he's too busy insulting people on Twitter to do his job in encouraging technical advantages.)

Back in 2008, someone sent me an email with "Idiot Sightings."  Here are a couple that I liked.

Making Change

"My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.  Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.  She said,  "You gave me too much money."  I said, "Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back."  She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.  I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said, "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing."  The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change."

Using the Brain

"When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.  We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.  As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey, "  I announced to the technician, "it's open!"  His reply, "I know. I already got that side."

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"Drifting along..."

The Week Magazine reports that the residents of Victorville, California woke up last week to find that their homes were buried by tumbleweeds. During the night, extra strong winds blew the troublesome weeds from the Mojave desert into their neighborhood.

I remember those damn plants attacking our car as we drove through California towards Los Angeles.

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Couples

A few blogs ago, I showed some pictures of special couples.  I just found this picture to add to the others.

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Mucha

For years I have tried to do artistic things.  I succeeded fairly well with cartoons that I would copy.  However, my work with oils did not succeed at all. (Perhaps it was because I tried to paint with my left hand.)

In my dotage, I have been toying with taking an art course where I might learn to paint (copy) subjects that please me.  I especially like the work that Alphonse Mucha did painting beautiful (zaftig) women, like the examples below.

Yes, these renditions have been my pin-up pictures for many years,  and, of course, my beautiful two Elaine's have compared more than favorably to these ladies.  I have been very lucky in that regard.

Some artists have been rather successful in copying Mucha.  One lady won a contest for a Wine Festival poster.. until someone noticed that it was not original, but was an almost exact copy of a Mucha picture.  I don't care.. I like her work and think that she did a great job and deserved the prize.

So.. there it is. My confession that I like to look at beautiful ladies, including my dear companions.

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Trivial Stuff #3

Here are some more items that have gotten my attention .. but this time a few are more recent. 

1.  Revenge

Hunter: I read somewhere that a geese hunter was a bit surprised when a goose he had shot landed on top of his head.

Insulter:  The Week reports that a chubby teenager bought up every cupcake in a bakery after hearing a lady in back of her in line remarked: "Let's hope this fat bitch doesn't buy all the cupcakes."  That reminded me of the following.

Music Lover:   When I returned from years of Air Force duty in Europe, I put a coin in a restaurant record machine to hear Eartha Kitt sing: Santa Baby.  A grouchy looking fellow customer said something derogatory about black singers.  So, I pumped in 10 more coins so that he and I could both enjoy a whole hour of Eartha.

2. Sex

Bestiality:  The Louisiana State Senate recently passed a bill outlawing bestiality.  Ten Senators voted against it!  (Well, now we know what they do in their spare time in Louisiana.)

Hard Act to Follow:  Penis Baba, a Hindu holy man is able to pull a compact car 100 feet using a towrope attached to his male member.   He attributes this feat to "the power of God .. the power of devotion." (and probably a bit of Viagra.)

3.  Trump

Conscience bother you?  A 67-year old man died due to a fire on the 50th floor of Trump Tower in New York City.  Why didn't the sprinkler go off?  Well.. it wasn't necessary to have one on "older" buildings like Trump Tower.  (Trump and other developers successfully lobbied to have a New York sprinkler requirement not apply to their pre-1999 buildings.   Yes, it was said by them to be "unnecessary and expensive.")

4. Religion

Massachusetts Legacy:  I just completed a Great Course about the famous Massachusetts thinkers: Emerson, Thoreau, and others.  I was reminded that in my Grandparents' home where I grew up, there were only two books, kept reverently.  One was The Progress of Julius and the other was Emerson's Essays. Both books made a  great impression on me, and probably are responsible for the way I think about things.

I did not read Thoreau until I left home, but I always had a feel for the "native life" ..  communing with nature.. and a few years ago I was able to visit Walden Pond.  So, I was interested in a study that found that the pristine nature of Walden Pond has been attacked by swimmers "peeing in the pond."  Did Thoreau pee in the pond?  Of course not!

5. Music

Carousel:  I loved this musical years ago.  Now it is making a Broadway revival only in a slightly different way.  The leads are of different races.  Why does that matter?  It doesn't.  It's the voices that matter.  When the leads sing "If I loved you!"  I have always cried.  Sorry.  I confess.  Just as I cry when Mimi dies in La Boheme, so I cry when I hear Billy and Julie belt it out.

Billy:  If I loved you
Julie:  But you don't.
Billy:  No, I don't.
But somehow I can see just exactly how I'd be...

If I loved you.
Time and again I would try to say
All I'd want you to know.
If I loved you,
Words wouldn't come in an easy way.
Round in circles I'd go.
Longin' to tell  you but afraid and shy,
I'd let my golden chances pass me by.

...

Even writing those words,  the tears come to my eyes.

Why is that?  Because tough guys do cry at times, and as this tough guy gets older, he cries more often.  That's life, my friend.

(Thank you Mr. Rogers and Mr. Hammerstein.)

6.  Guns

Are You Carrying?  A Nevada woman refused to sing the Star Spangled Banner before a ball game because a metal detector would reveal the gun she carries with her at all time.

(Unbelievable!)

IMHO

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Trivial Stuff #2

Finally!  I finished my income tax yesterday and mailed it off.  It was very complicated this year, but I was finally get it to a fair refund.  However, at the same time, I had to give most of it back in the form of an estimated payment for 2018.  Such is life. As my co-worker Lloyd Hess often said:

"Sometimes you get the bear; sometimes the bear gets you."    How true.

Anyway, now that I have accomplished the horrendous IRS task,  I hope to have more time to devote to my blog activity.

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Here is some more trivial "stuff" that I've found recently while working on eliminating other "stuff" that I should have gotten rid of before moving to my current home. This is from notes that I prepared and may be in error here and there.

Medicine Breakthrough:  Paul Winchell and Doctor Heimlich invented and patented the artificial heart.  (Was Mr. Winchell the entertainer?  I assume Heimlich developed the "maneuver.")

Biblical Puzzle:  What is the origin of the phrase:  "offspring of the virgin's womb."  (The Bible mentions Jesus' brothers..  so, he must have been the "older brother.")

Dirty Tricks Politics:  From a Conservative:  "Gingrich had a Road to DesMoines Conversion!"  (By the way, it was Newt Gingrich who forced Republicans to call the Democratic Party "the Democrat Party" because it had a "harsher ring to it."

Space Watching:  A laundry washer/dryer has been installed on the Space Station.  (Before this time, dirty underwear had to be jettisoned.  As it burned on re-entry, lovers made wishes, thinking it was a shooting star.)

Royalty $:  In 2011, Queen Elizabeth suffered a "pay raise."

Air Line Sex:  The safety video for passengers on an airline shows scantily clad stewardesses. (One might ask: "Why?"..  when the Brits during World War II found that its cryptographers were falling asleep while reading important coding instructions, they began to intersperse pictures of naked ladies among the instruction pages.  This caught the coders' attention and kept them awake. 

Years later, when I was tasked with putting together a very dull work activity manual for the Government,  I made a special edition of the manual, with scantily-clad ladies interspersed.   Because I did not want to appear entirely sexist,  I also included a picture of a man in a bathing suit.  )

Hollywood Question:  Why did Rudolph Valentino wear extra-wide suspenders?

(yes.. I know... to keep his pants up)

Appropriate Personnel:  Captain Lust is now responsible for keeping the Sex Offenders Registry up to  date.

Religious Calling:  A priest had a cat named "Honey."  He had to change it when people began to wonder when they heard him calling the cat late at night.

Country Music Wisdom:  Vince Gill's father wrote a song with these lyrics:  "It's hard to kiss those lips at night after she's chewed your ass all day!"

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BASTA!