WEIRD STUFF

I subscribe to a comedy newspaper called "The Funny Times" and I strongly suggest that you obtain a copy and I guarantee that you will spend a lot of time laughing over the cartoons and humorous stories and articles. It serves as a welcome diversion from the depressing news hitting us hour by hour.

In the March 2022 issue there was an interesting article with the title: "News of the Weird." ("collected from the mainstream press by the editors at Andrews McMeel."  That company publishes entertainment and interactive experiences that enhance "truth, humor and hope.") 

The article lists 17 true instances that could be considered weird.  I like six. (Check them all out by reading them in the Funny Times.)

1.  OVERWEAR?

Because of an underwear shortage, Norwegian soldiers leaving the service are required to turn in their government-provided "unmentionables" for future use.

This reminds me of a Von Steuben story:

General Von Steuben was proud of his Hessian Mercenaries who were helping General Washington in the Revolutionary War, so he decided to give them a treat.

He assembled his grimy rag-tag group of soldiers and announced:

General:  Troops, today I am going to give you a reward for your bravery.  Today there will be a change of underwear.

Troops:  Hooray!

General:  Herman, you change with Adolph.  Wilhelm, you change with Rudolph. ...

2.  PIG BREAKTHROUGH

A Baltimore man received the heart of a pig when his body did not qualify for a human transplant. This foretells a future when animals may be bred to supply body parts to save the lives of humans. 

The procedure took place in January 2022.

Unfortunately, the patient died last week.

This reminds me.  My late wife had heart surgery at the Washington (DC) Hospital Center.  An hour after telling us she was fine and in recovery, we were told that her veins and arteries were not strong enough to handle the activity of a strong heartbeat and she had died.

They could have saved her through the use of pig parts, but they didn't have them available for some reason.  Several persons suggested that I sue, but what good would that do?  It wouldn't bring her back.

3.  COUGH COUGH

For those people who love the smell of food cooking on a grill, but don't have time to stoke up a fire, Arby's will be selling sweat clothes impregnated with a smoke smell.

Will it be disgusting like the smell of cigarettes that linger for eons on clothes?

4.  ALEXA  NO!

We love our Alexa who answers us and does our bidding on two Echo Dot, Alexa Show and Fire TV.  She seems to have encyclopedic knowledge.

However, sometimes she makes up responses, like she did recently when asked about exciting things to do.  Alexa's "off the wall" response was almost fatal for the requester.  

So, be careful about what you ask Alexa... and Siri too.

5.  CUBISM

Australian Wombats poop in cubes.

This is so weird I'll let you do the research. It may just be Aussies having fun with us.

Warning, the following information is not for everybody,  just eleven-year-olds and people who act like eleven-years-old.

6.  FARTING

There is a "Mister Methane" who travels the world doing "farting tricks" with his buttocks, a procedure practiced by very few people. (Or so I've been told.)

This reminds me of a fellow Airman who I served with in Europe.  "W" was from Baltimore and a "cheater" at "21."  He's the guy that I caught cheating and, using his own technique, beat him out of his money and his expensive "shades' that I wear on sunny days.

Anyway, "W" had that ability to fart at will. Every evening a German fart-smell-lover would drive to the base in his flower-bedecked Audi and give "W" a lift into Nuremburg for a night on the town.  This, of course, was a "free" ride. (And "W" never let his driver "run out of gas.")

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