LOVE AND HATE

LOVE

I love you

Ich liebe dich

Je t'adore

Te amo

Te quiero

Szeretiek

Ya vas lyublyu

Ya tebe lyublyu

Itoshi teru

Salanghae

Ana ahibuk

Any way you say it is ok as long as you have a habit of saying it to those dear to you or to others who also deserve it.  Unfortunately, some folks haven't said it for years.  I wonder if saying it often to a spouse could save a few marriages.

I was lucky to have been raised in a household with three beautiful women; my Aunt, my Mother and my Grandmother.  They often told me they loved me.  My Grandfather didn't say it as far as I knew, except one time when he and my grandmother didn't know I was listening and I heard them expressing their love for each other.

When I was rescued from a "life of juvenile crime" by the First Baptist Church in New Bedford, I plugged into the "love everybody" vibe.

I learned that it was stupid to hate anyone, even those guys I fought with, and even Hitler and Mussolini, who I thought were crazy and mean and  who would have to pay for their crimes. 

We taught our kids to love others and to say "I love you" when appropriate. To this day, my children and grandchildren tell me they love me and that makes me feel so good!

HATE

I believe that hate is unnatural for human beings.  It can "stir your juices" and cause premature aging. (IMHO)

I think it was a song in "The King and I" that mentioned that children are taught by their parents to hate others who have "a different skin." And that is sad.

The Southern Poverty Law Center keeps track of the many many "Hate Groups" in America.  Why do people join these groups?  What are they afraid of?  

Why do they spend their lives in the agony of hate when they might like their adversaries if they learned more about them. (But their daddies taught them to hate when their young minds were impressionable.)

That reminds me:

A few people have hated me over the years.  Here  are a couple of them:

 

This gentleman worked for me in a programming job.  He did not like me and made it known to anyone who would listen.  I think he blamed me for keeping him out of a promotion - that he didn't deserve.  He refused to talk to me and gave me hateful looks.

I decided that this had to stop. I wanted him back on my team.  At a meeting with some bigshots, I ordered him to accompany me.   

We discussed an upcoming project and I introduced him as part of the development team. I mentioned that he was experienced and would do a good job.  Then I took a risk and asked him to give us all some tips on how to continue.  

He rose to the bait, stood up and did a great job.  The Users were pleased and he was pleased with himself and did become an asset to our team.  Most supervisors would have been tempted to ignore him and let him stew for the rest of his career, but I was hoping to release his "better angels," and it worked.

This gentleman gave a presentation for his business at a function I attended.  He had developed some kind of roof protection apparatus that did not work for me and he refused to refund my money.

After his presentation he asked if anyone in the audience had used his product.  I was the only person to raise my hand and I gave my assessment in what I thought was a polite and respectful manner.

This gentleman immediately gave me a nasty look and you might say, "The Evil Eye."  After that, whenever he saw me in this rather small town, he would scrunch up his face and glare at me like that guy who was always glaring at Laurel and Hardy.  This guy really hated me.

A while later, Elaine and I went to a social movie showing and we came late.  There were only three seats left.  We sat there by ourselves until someone came through the darkness and took the last seat next to me.

When the lights went up, my new seat mate almost fainted.  He had been sitting next to his arch enemy. He quickly muttered an incantation and raced out of the theater.

I often tried to think about how to change this man's view of me, but before I could think of something he died.  I hope his life was not cut short because of his hate for me.  I definitely did not hate him.

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