Tidbits

01.  Litterbirds

The Week magazine:  By using a food-as-reward system, a Swedish town has trained crows to pick up cigarette butts in the streets.

The magazine asked for possible names for its waste-disposal system.

Kenneth Burgan - "Rooks in Crannies"

Ivan Kershner - "Garbage? Nevermore!"

Janine Witte - "Caw and Order"

02.  Sex Police?

The Week magazine: "The mayor of Hudson, Ohio resigned after warning that allowing ice-fishing on a local lake could lead to prostitution.

He told the City Council that authorizing "ice shanties" could lead to an 'unintended consequence' - shacks built for sex work.

He said that his concern was 'based on my prior television news-reporting experience.'"

(Would we like to have a religious gestapo like Iran?)

03.  Want a pun in the nose?

Mensa Bulletin:  Various Pun(y) location examples:

"I'm from the Big Apple, but do you know where Minneapolis?"

"Do you really think that a Paris better than a full house?"

"I have a Tapei personality."

"Venice that going to happen? Do you know?

 Gregg Siegel came up with these stupid examples.  Blame him, not me.

04. Some atrocious puns by Bennett Cerf  

"When the great maestro Toscanini first conducted an all Bach concert, he pushed his orchestra so fiercely and relentlessly in rehearsal they dubbed him "the Bach suite driver.'"

Q.:  Do you get fur from a skunk?

A.:  Yes, as fur as possible.

Q.:  How do you make an elephant fly?

A.:  Well, first you take a great big zipper!

Snow White took a whole roll of photos to record the antics of the seven dwarfs, and mailed them off to be developed.

The song she warbled as she waited for delivery was (wait for it!)  

"Someday my prints will come!"

............................................................

Enough of this nonsense!