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Funny Times: FT

Readers Digest: RD

The Week: TW

Winning by a ... (TW)

Australian star hurdler Jane Rawlinson had her breast implants removed to boost her chances to win at the Olympics.

Overkill? (FT)

Police in Fresno, California responded to a break-in by a homeless man.  The miscreant had helped himself to an ice cream bar, milk and half a tomato when police arrived.

The police team consisted of:

50 cop cars

a SWAT team

SWAT team backup

two helicopters

standby ambulances

a police robot

a crisis negotiation team

In their zeal, the police destroyed windows, walls and wrought-iron doors.  Tear gas and a "flash bomb" were employed.

My Favorite Job Resume (RD)

"I would love to interview for the job advertised. If you grant me an interview, I feel confident you'll see why I'm the right person for the job.

My mother delivered me without anesthesia, so I have an IQ of 146 and can therefore learn anything.

Also, I have integrity, so I will not steal office supplies and take them home."