More Random Notes

Readers Digest:RD)

Self: JV

Standard Times: ST

The Week: TW

Gotcha!(ST)

A young lady was sitting alone at a bar.  A young man walked over and said; "Excuse me, can I buy you a drink?"

"To the CAPRI Motel?" she yelled.

"No,no, you misunderstood. I just asked if I could buy you a drink."

"You're asking me to go to a motel with you?" She screamed.

Completely bewildered, the young man withdrew to a corner as the other patrons glared at him.

A little later, the young lady came to his table. "I'm sorry to have created such a scene, but I'm a psychology student and I study reactions from unexpected situations."

The young man looked at her and shouted as loud as he could, "What?  You charge a hundred dollars!"

Will He? (JV)

The old man's expectant relatives were gathered for the reading of the will after his death.

The lawyer read from the will as follows:

"Being of sound mind, I spent every last cent before I died.

Special Sale (TW)

An upscale Manhattan spa has a special offer.

For just $180, they will smear your face with dried nightingale dung.  This facial guarantees you a skin as flawless as a Geisha! 

How not to get a job (RD)

"I went to greet an interviewee in the lobby. I should point out that I am 5 foot one and she is much taller.

Anyway, the moment she saw me, she stood up, stuck out her hand, and said, "Well, hi there, Shorty!"