Donald Trump; Kathleen Battle;Texting Terms for Seniors

Tomorrow, we mark the 15th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attack.  Once again, I would like to see us stop using the term "terrorist" and replace it with "cowardist."  Makes more sense to me.

A couple of days ago, I finished the last 6 ounces of a wine I made in 1976 (40 years ago!)  I had sampled it from time to time, but it needed the whole period of time to age properly.  It was delicious!  It amazes me how "age" can improve most wines... and sometimes people.

On the same day, I used my Giant Grocery Store points for gasoline.  Instead of paying $2.19 per gallon,  I played $.95.  Not bad.

Trump Poem

Francie Lynch wrote this poem mentioned in the New Yorker

Comb-Over for Herr Trump

"Donald has a comb-over./
Hitler, a funny mustache./
Herr Donald?/
Heil Hitler!"

The Greatest Diva?

For years, I have thought of Kathleen Battle as having the most beautiful soprano voice of any lady in opera.  But I completely missed reading about her "diva antics" and her firing by the Metropolitan Opera.  Marie Callas also had "diva antics," but I've read where Kathleen's antics were so bad, she had everyone mad at her.   For instance, at one time, she was disappointed with her dressing room when she found out that another singer had been given a better one.  Supposedly, she walked into the other dressing room, took all of the other singer's clothes and personal items and threw them out in the hall, while she took the room over for herself.

Anyway... there is supposed to be a movie being made about Kathleen's life:  The KB Project.  The New York Post indicates there is some problem with funding.  I understand that the Met has finally forgiven her and she will be given a singing role soon.  I hope her voice has held up.

Texting Terms for Seniors?

Readers Digest printed the following from planetproctor.com:

BFF:  Best Friend Fainted
BYOT:  Bring  Your Own Teeth
CBM:  Covered By Medicare
FWB:  Friend With Beta Blockers
LMDO:  Laughing My Dentures Out
GGPBL:  Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!

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Divorce

96 degrees today... I think this is the 85th day of heat over 90 degrees.  Is this Global Warming or Climate Change?

No Cost Divorce?

This is classic!  A middle aged man held up a bank and then waited for the police to come and arrest him.  When asked why, he replied that he thought that jail would be a better place to be than with his wife.

Do Geese agree?

Elaine says that during a showing of a program about the duties of Maine Wildlife Officers, one of the officers saw a big fat goose in a stream.  He figured it must belong to someone, so he decided to catch it.  While he figured out how to do that, he got a call that a lady had lost her prize goose and was quite upset.

The officer, with a massive effort, including pecks and bites and loud honking, was able to catch the goose and put it into a box.  When he returned the goose to its home, the owner was elated... and also the goose's girl friend, who ran to him and rubbed his neck with hers (goose love play?).  The owner said that she could not figure out how the goose got out.

A few hours later, the officer got another call that a goose was loose.  Same goose.  He found the goose in somebody's pond and made the massive effort to retrieve it.  More pecks.  More bites. More loud honking.  The owner once again was elated that the goose was found, and so was the goose's girl friend, who engaged in goose love play again.  The owner again said that she could not figure out how the goose got out.  "Where there is a goose, there's a way."  As the old saying goes.

Now.. you've guessed it... the goose got loose again.  Surely somebody realized by now that, just as the gentleman who thought jail was better than married life, this goose probably did not like his "girl friend" and tried to escape his marital duties.    I doubt that this was the first and only incidence of animal divorce.

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Fall River, Massachusetts

"Lizzie Borden took an ax,
And gave her mother forty whacks.
When she saw what she had done,
She gave her father forty-one!"

Yes... I am a "Lizzie Borden Cuckoo!"  I probably own every book written about the murder and trial, including authentic newspaper reports.  Even though the crime was committed in Fall River, Massachusetts, Lizzie's trial was held in my hometown, New Bedford, Massachusetts, and was the most sensational event ever held in Southeastern New England.

I have a speech that I have given a few times.  And, in my "humble" opinion, it is one of the best I've ever given.  I don't tell the audience who the subject of the speech is.  I lay out all the facts and let the audience come to the conclusion that I am obviously talking about the "O.J. Simpson Trial."  But I'm not.  The crime, the undiscovered weapon, the famous lawyers, the testimony, .... lots of similarities between Lizzie's trial and O.J.'s trial.

The murder location in Fall River was a "Bed and Breakfast" for a while.  I thought that it might be fun to stay overnight there... but Elaine said it would be too scary.  Some of the folks that stayed there swore that they heard and saw ghostly presences during the night.   Brrrrr!

Incidentally, in the newspaper accounts, there were interspersed many advertisements for the Vaughan Undertaking Establishment.

Three days ago, I found out that there was an "Images of America" book devoted to Fall River.  I ordered the book and in just one day, I had it in my hand. (Faster than drone delivery?)  Lots of interesting pictures.  But one thing struck me very vividly:  the number of fires in the city.

1821  Troy Mills Fire
1843  Fire burned through the business district.
1874  Granite Mill fire
1886  Fire
1903  Fire burned the first Notre Dame Church
1916  Fire destroyed thirty businesses
1928  Fire burned the Pocasset Mill and the Granite Block
1930  Fire at Sandy Beach amusement park
1982  Fire burned the second Notre Dame Church and 35 buildings in the Flint neighborhood.

And of course, the 1938 hurricane did a job on the city. 

Since New Bedford was only 6 miles or so away, fire equipment was usually sent to help put out the flames.  For years, Fall River did not have an efficient water supply system, so fires were not easily contained.

From 1867 to 1937, a boat line named The Fall River Line ran regularly from New York to Fall River.  Some of the ships involved were quite elegant.  Somewhere I have an ad that shows the unbelievably small amount of money it took to take the trip.  Too bad it didn't continue.  Another "nice" thing gone. 

A guy named Rob Lewis put this Fall River book together... lots of interesting photographs from what is now a "long time ago!"

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Rain; Exorcisms; Alien Invasion; Brain Input; Tatoos

Rain... blessed rain... after at least 20 days of no rain.. a 20 minute downpour.  The ground says "Thank You!"

I got an "eye poke" today to counter my macular degeneration.  No matter how many times I get a needle shoved into my eye.. I flinch, and it hurts.  But, it has to be done if I don't want to go blind.
However, right now, because of the needle hole, I keep seeing what my mind perceives as a  fly flittying about, and I keep trying to catch it.

Some news from 2013, as mentioned in The Week magazine;


Be gone, ye spirits!

The Reverand Isaac Kramer, head of the International Catholic Association of Exorcists was mad because  an Arizona pastor was performing Internet exorcisms via Skype.  Shame on him!

Another Alien Invasion

Roswell, New Mexico, famed landing place for space aliens, got another exotic distinction.  An invasion of  6 foot high drifts of tumbleweed.   They're here, folks!  Get into your shelters!

FIFO/LIFO

Elaine wanted me to read an essay by William Falk, in which he says that current folks have so much brain input, that sometimes new info can't nose it's way in.  He cites some of the things that we store in our memory banks... some of which would be better sloughed off to a garbage can, for instance: 

the name of an 8th grade girl that I had a crush on

Cleaon Jones' batting average in 1969

the life stories of old girlfriends and how they liked their coffee

mental maps of places I've lived

mental maps of places I've visited

how to drive a stick shift

the plots of thousands of novels

the lyrics of lots of television show themes

But German researchers reported: "The brains of older people do not get weak... on the contrary, they simply know more...many older people can be slower to recall facts or learn new information because their brains are so stuffed with accumulated knowledge..."

I Yam what I Yam and that's all What I Yam!

King of Ink I and King Body Art is the name of an Englishman who has covered 90% of his body with tattoos.  But, Britain's officials do not recognize his name, because they do not accept strings of words or phrases as a name .He's  having a bit of a problem getting permits and visas, and the like.

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Health Tips from Consumers Reports

More heat... but a lot of wind.  I understand that Hermine is stuck off of Atlantic City and is churning the ocean into the Cape Cod area.  New Bedford will survive.

Consumers Reports sent out an advertisement On Health.  I always believe Consumers Reports, so, in case you haven't been fortunate yet to receive your ad.. here are some highlights.... i.e. things to think about.

Bread

Make sure that "whole grain" is part of the first ingredients.    If the label says: "whole wheat flour" that's ok... however if it says: "Enriched flour," forget it.

Oils

Olive oil is great, but so is safflower and sunflower oils.

Memory

To help protect your memory:

Play board games
Learn a language
Engage in regular exercise.

Blood Pressure

To lower blood pressure, eat some purple potatoes.

Heartburn

Ingesting ginger may increase the stomach's production of acid and cause heartburn.  Steer clear.

Longevity

Regular coffee consumption helps regulate blood sugar and prevents blood clots.

Overeating

Humming a song of gratitude like "Amazing Grace" can help calm the stress that leads to overeating.

So, there  you have it.  Go and sin no more!

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Tickling; Robots; Ghazal Poetry; Good Samaritan; Foreign Language Accent Syndrome

HOT... my poor plants are begging for water.  I thought that Hermine would give us a lot... but she decided to avoid us.  So, I gave them a bunch... but one set of plants looks pitiful.  I think it's some kind of flowers, but it's probably just weeds so that is ok.

Here are a couple of things I found in the New York Times magazine this Sunday:

Tickling

"Unpredictability is the key element of tickling, which is why you cannot tickle yourself." Says Malia Wollan.    Now.. just think about that! 

Intelligent Machines

Lots of information ... especially about the funny machine that seems to think for itself and against you.  You activate a switch on a box.... in a couple of seconds,  the top of the box opens a little, and a long finger (not Trump's) reaches out of the box, grabs the switch, and shuts it off; thereby closing the box.  Stasis has been achieved.

By the way, the word "robot" comes from the Czech word robota, which means "forced labor."  I didn't know that!



Strange Poem, at Least to Me

Matthew Zapruder says that a poem by Kyle Dargan titled:  Points of Contact is"a ghazal, a lyric poem, often sung, which originated more thatn 1,000 years ago on the Arabian Peninsula.  A repeating phrase is used at the end of each second line of a couplet."

Here a few couplets from the poem:

"Name one revolution whose inception was unlike a fist.
Factions disparate, then tucked together -- coiled like a fist."

"The heart is a one-man rave in the body's industrial district.
Blooddrunk and insomniac, it pumps toward sleep like a fist."

"Our universe's yet shattered mysteries fear the astrophysicist.
'Damn his galaxies-thick glasses, his mind, relentless like a fist.'"

I really like this poem, even though I've screwed things up by choosing a few lines rather than showing the whole poem.  Just think about the word pictures that Kyle paints:

the blooddrunk heart

his galaxies-thick glasses

From the Funny Times

Chuck Shepherd writes about the "weird,"  including the following:

Even Good Samaritans Must Pay

Derrick Deanda, passing a car crash, jumped out and rescued a man and three children trapped in the wreckage.  A paramedic arrived later and noticed that Derrick had cut himself when he broke the car window to save the family.  So, he bandaged him.  Later, the hospital sent Derrick a bill for first aid services rendered to him at the crash site.

Foreign Language Accent Syndrome

Two new cases of this weird "disease" have recently popped up.  One 50 year old Italian got hit in the head and now speaks "constantly in emphatic, error-prone French".... and a lady from Rosenberg, Texas, awoke from surgery "inexplicably speaking in a British accent"  especially since her prior version of English was a thick Texas accent.  There are about 100 people in the world who have this affliction.

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Hurricane Hermine; Breast Enlargement; Alien Pandoravirus; Gold-filled Planet

Hot once more.  Back to the 90's.  Hurricane Hermine decided not to bother us... I hear that it is now near New Bedford and none of its winds or rains reached us.  New Bedford always gets these types of storms, but because of the ugly surge wall put up by the Government, the flood  doesn't make it to the city proper.  At least it hasn't for the last 50 years.

Got to be quick.. our pork chops are thawing and Elaine is hungry.

What happened, Booby?

Back in 2013, a British pinup model received a $7,400 taxpayer-funded breast enlargement.  But then, her new 36DD additions were causing her problems.  "They're so big.  I find them embarrassing, and I feel that I cannot do any modeling."  So she sued the U.K. National Health Service for $15,000 in compensation for "emotional distress."  Did she prevail I wonder?

Also in 2013:

Alien Life?

What happened here too?

Scientists in Chile and Australia found a very large virus they call the "pandoravirus".  It is one thousand times as big as the influenza virus and holds 2,556 genes.  The Flu virus holds only 13 genes.  (Now, I don't know what the hell that all means.)  the scientists say it may represent an entirely unknown form of life and may have originated in another planet.

Now, doesn't that scare you?  Do you think that the Government is hiding extraterrestrial virus information from the public?  What will Donald do if he becomes President?  Build a wall to keep it contained? 

Also, as reported in The Week for August 9, 2013:

The Midas Planets

Astronomers have come to the conclusion that all of the gold on Earth was forged in the collisions of massively dense stars billions of years ago... so says the report.  Such "blingnovas" occur in our galaxy every 100,000 years, so don't get your hopes up.

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