Ten years ago, a friend sent me this bit of humor. I published it somewhere before "to great acclaim!"

(I hope that it does not offend anyone.)

"THE NUN'S TALE" *

A nun was sitting in the airport, waiting for her flight to Baltimore. She looked over in a corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune. She thought: "I'll give it a try and see what it tells me."

She went over to the machine, stepped on the scale and put her nickel in.  Out came a card that read:

"You are a nun, you weigh 140 pounds, and you are going to Baltimore."

The nun sat down and thought: "That machine probably gives the same card to everyone."  Curious, she decided to try it again.

She went back to the machine, again put in a nickel, and out came another card. "You are a nun, you weigh 140 pounds.  You are going to Baltimore, and you are going to play a fiddle."

The nun said to herself, "I know that is wrong. I have never played a musical instrument a day in my life."

She sat back down. From out of nowhere, a grizzled cowboy came over and sat down, putting a fiddle case in the seat between them. Without thinking, she opened the cowboy's case, took out his fiddle, and started playing beautiful music.  Surprised at what she had done, she looked over at the machine thinking: "This is incredible! I've got to try again."

She went back to the machine, put her nickel in, and another card came out: "You are a nun, you weigh 140 pounds, you are going to Baltimore, and you are going to break wind."

Now she knew the machine was wrong. "I've never broken wind in public a single time in my life." But as she stepped off the machine she slipped, and as she was straining to keep from falling on the floor, she broke wind.

Stunned, she sat back down and looked at the machine and said to herself: "This is truly remarkable.  I'll have to try it again."

She went back to the machine, put in another nickel, and another card came out.  It read: "You are a nun, you weigh 140 pounds, you have fiddled and farted around and now you have missed your flight to Baltimore."

..........................................................................

(* Apologies to Mr. Chaucer.)

.........................................................................

Go, and put your nickel in.