MY GREATEST CHRISTMAS GIFT

I've written before about the one and only Christmas gift I ever received from my putative father.

When I was either 9, 10, or 11 years old I received a nicely wrapped box containing Mr. Stick, a 2-foot-long stick painted with vibrant colors.

I thought then and for many years that that S.O.B. had given me a cheap-skate's gift, probably at the instigation of the local child-welfare office.

What could an obviously "mature" young man do with such an item? I used it to rattle along iron fences, making people yell at me, and I used it to dig holes for games we kids played.

But, was that all that Mr. Stick was good for?

Recently I began to remember what else I used it for:

Between my legs, it became Don Quixote's beloved horse, Rocinante, and I rode her around the neighborhood, attacking large and menacing oak trees.

Under my arm pits, it became a secret document that I was saving from Hitler's Gestapo.

In my hands:

I used it in sword fights,

I used it to swat at the new villain, Lex Luthor, that appeared in my 1940's Action Comics.

I used it as a spear in the lush Caribbean, where I saved beautiful women from cannibals. 

Now, in my late years, I recognize what a great gift Mr. Stick was, because it fed my weird imagination which has stayed with me all my life and was passed on to my beautiful and creative progeny.

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Go, and enjoy your gifts.