Politics Again
According to Harper's Index in the recent Funny Times:
Only 9% of Americans cast a ballot for either Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump in the 2016 primary elections.
The index also says that 20 states do not require Electoral College members to vote for the candidate who won their state. (What would happen if some electors decide to vote their conscience instead?)
As I read somewhere (Facebook?) an Elector can vote for someone other than the person who won the state and suffer a small fine. (Is this true?)
Bureaucracy in Action, but with a Nice Result
Chuck Shepherd (also in the Funny Times) reports that Wanda Witter had been living on the DC streets for 10 years, telling anyone who would listen, that the Government owed her $100,000. This 80 year old lady said that she had proof.
Finally, a heroine appeared. Social worker, Julie Turner, took an interest and found that Witter was indeed owed $100,000 and maybe more. Wanda received a first check for $999, and another for $99,999 shortly thereafter.
Another Major Criminal Apprehended
Chuck Shepherd also reported that a woman was arrested in the Italian Pizza Kitchen by a police officer with whom she was chatting. She playfully took and ate some items from the cop's plate and so he had to run her in. "The arrest report for second degree theft, cited by (DC) WUSA-TV, included 'property stolen' as 'three French-fried potatoes.'"
Sounds like another "Barney Fife" Moment
A friend of mine visited formerly "flood ravaged" Ellicott City, Maryland recently. Because they still have a parking problem, he had to park his car outside of the main drag, but in a handicap reserved spot. He hung his disability parking tag on his rear view mirror, as required. He then walked the mile to the shops that are now open again.
When he returned, he found a $45 parking ticket on his windshield. The ticket indicated the problem was "failure to display an authorized tag in a restricted parking spot." Seeing varied shades of red, my friend drove right up to the Ellicott City Police Station and took his parking tag in for them to see. The Station Cop tore the ticket up and said that they had been having trouble with a new policeman, who saw violations everywhere he looked. In this case, he could not read the number emblazoned on the parking tag clearly through the windshield and therefore decided that it was a phony.
Messy Desks
For half of my term working at the Social Security Administration, I kept the messiest desk imaginable. But... I was always able to find something when I needed it. I felt like W. C. Fields when he was cast as a memory expert in old time movies. His roll top desk was filled with papers of all kinds, all jumbled together. However, whenever his boss asked him for information about a customer, he could just reach right into the pile of paper and find what was needed. At night, he would just drop the roll top down and all the messiness was neatly contained.
A problem arose when he took leave for a day and a new office assistant decided to help him out by opening his desk and neatly stacking like papers. When W.C. came to work the next day, he opened his desk and was startled to see neatness accosting his eyeballs. But, ever resourceful and quite strong for a boozing middle aged curmudgeon, he merely closed the desk again, picked it up bodily and shook it for a minute so that everything could get nicely mixed again.
Satisfied with himself, he sat there until his boss needed some more information. At that request, he just opened the desk again, reached into the jumbled mess and produced the required document.
A classic routine... you have to see it to appreciate it.
Even though I enjoyed being messy, I decided to do the "clear desk" thing, and because I was a manager, I could get some special bookcases and tables for my office. This furniture allowed me to keep a completely clear desk for the rest of my working life.
I do like what Raymond Lesser wrote recently (also in the Funny Paper) about messy desks:
"... my desk is a mess. But I can still find what I need when I need it. It'll be exactly where I last left it. Occasionally I will dig in the bottom of some of my piles, kind of like an archeologist doing an excavation of an ancient civilization. The civilization of the old me. Usually I'll find some long lost project, the reason for which I can only guess at, that doesn't mean anything to me any more. Into the recycling bin it will go, to make room for something more exciting on the top of the pile."
Quotations
For President Trump:
Oscar Wilde: "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
Tony Bill: "We're surrounded by crazy people." (Perhaps related to the new White House staff.?)
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Finally... I have relied on the Funny Paper for a lot of this blog entry. I love that sheet. If you want, I'll treat you to a subscription.
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