LUXEMBOURG

Luxembourg is a small country comfortably nestled between Belgian, France and Germany. Their 600,000 residents have access to three National languages: French, German and Luxembourgish.  Most people are trilingual.

Luxembourg deals in Euros and is supposedly the second richest country in the world. The first would be China, not the U.S.  

The capital, Luxembourg City, is known for its medieval "old town" and its miles of underground tunnels.

Luxembourg is also known for its award-winning wines ... and its so-called "wineos," pretty young ladies who entice male visitors to Luxembourg City into buying them very expensive bottles of normally cheap wine.

My co-worker Al, from New Jersey talked me into accompanying him to Luxembourg City.  As we prepared for the trip, we were warned by someone experienced in the matter to "Look out for them wineos!"

LUXEMBOURG  CITY

The "downtown" was small, the rooms were very cheap, the restaurant food was tasty, and also cheap. And, they accepted and welcomed American dollars. 

HIGH STEPPING?

I encountered a mystery when I entered my rented room. There were dark footprints on the ceiling, looking just as if someone had nonchalantly meandered across the room from end to end in boots.  On the ceiling which was perhaps seven feet above the floor!

Was this a prank? The kind that American jokesters perpetrated?  But this was in Europe, not the U.S.

Perhaps Spiderman spent some time in this room.  I never could figure it out.

WINEO HEAVEN?

After a delicious (and cheap) meal at a restaurant, we decided to stop at a nearby cafe for a "nightcap".  Al ordered a glass of wine and I ordered some beer.

Suddenly a "dream" appeared at our table.  In the dim light, she was the most beautiful brunette Al and I had seen in a long time.

She stroked Al's hand and told him he was handsome.  She also asked him to buy her some wine. Aha! A "wineo!"

She didn't bother with me because I was a beer-drinker.  But Al was an easy "mark."

Her wine appeared to me to be colored water and it cost a lot of American money, wiping out Al's reserve fund.  Noting that Al was out of money, the beauty wrote an address on a piece of paper, saying that if he visited her, she would lead him through a "garden of delights."  Then, suddenly, she disappeared.

All along, I had tried to convince Al that she was one of those notorious "wineos."  But to no effect.  Al was in love.

After his beauty left, he "bummed" five dollars from me and raced out for a cab, with the address in hand.

The cab driver informed Al that the address was made up and did not exist.

SMART PILLS

I had assumed that Al, coming from a large city in New Jersey would be smart enough to see through the current scam.  I was wrong.

This reminded me of an Amos and Andy Routine. I paraphrase:

Andy: "I wish I were smarter."

Kingfish: You are in luck. I have here some pills that will make you smart as Einstein. Take one."

Andy: "Phew! That tastes like rabbit turd!"

Kingfish: "Now you're smart, man!"

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