STRANGE AS IT MAY SEEM

(To find a little humor in spite of some irritating problems, and at the instigation of my worst angels, I submit the following.)

In 1946, when I was aged eleven or twelve, my teacher assigned each student the task of writing an autobiography.  I complied and even received an A- on my opus, parts of which I unapologetically deposit here verbatim for your critical analysis.

COVER:  Strange as it May Seem by Joseph Vaughan

I.  ANCESTRY

The only thing I know about my ancestors is that in some way I am related to John Carver, the first governor of the Plymouth colony.

My great grandmother traveled across the United States in a covered wagon making friends with the Indians by giving them white bread right off the fire.

II.  FAMILY

I come from a large family.  My grandmother had 15 children, 11 of which are living now. I have a mother, grandparents, 14 cousins, 11 uncles, 11 aunts, and 4 nephews.

This chapter is very small because I have to do it in a hurry.

III.  MYSELF

My name is Joseph Vaughan.  I was born in Boston, Mass., on February 1st, 1934.  I live on 571 West Elm St. New Bedford, Mass.

My favorite sports are baseball, football, and horseshoes.

IV.  EARLY MEMORIES

When I was four years old I happened to go to the front door when my mother was not looking. Then she noticed I was missing. She looked all over the neighborhood.  I was nowhere to be seen.

Then my uncle came to visit us.  My mother told him what had happened. Then they got into his car and looked for me.  They looked all over New Bedford for me. Later that day they found me. I was in back of Buttonwood Park looking at the animals.  I had walked almost a mile from where we lived to the park without getting lost.

V.  SCHOOL  #1

One day when I was in the third grade as I was walking up the aisle I noticed everyone laughing. I wondered what they were laughing at.

As we came in from recess I happened to look down at my stockings. Then I knew what they were laughing at.  When I had gotten up that morning I had put a different colored stocking on each (foof) foot.

That afternoon you can be sure I wore the same pair of stockings on each foot.

V.  SCHOOL #2

I hate school because you have to get up at such an unearthly hour in the morning.  If I had my way I would sleep 'till twelve o'clock each day without having to go to the "Brain Factory."

If I were the Superintendent of schools I would make all the schools have movies five times a week, manual training three times a week, math, English, history, and science once a week, and penmanship once a year.

VI.  FRIENDS

Two of my best friends are a boy named Al and his cousin Bobby who now live in California.  They used to live in New Bedford until about three months ago when they moved to Santa Domingo. 

When Al and Bobby lived in New Bedford we had many good times together.

VII.  HOBBIES

My hobby is collecting United States and foriegn stamps.  I have exactly 2,305 different stamps, five albums nearly full, and a postage stamp catalog.  My collection is worth almost one hundred dollars.

I used to collect match book covers but I soon gave it up.

VIII.  FUTURE

The only thing I can think of for the future is that my aunt wants me to be a surgeon. As far as I know I do not even want to be a dentist. 

I get sick to my stomach when I look at x-ray pictures and when I read stories about sickness.

The only thing I can think of wanting to be a stamp collector.

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Go and relive your youth.