Booze!

Ogden Nash said: 

"Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker." 

Supposedly this means that a person can use alcohol to convince someone to do something.

I always thought that the quote was from Dorothy Parker and was really:

"Wine is fine, but liquor is quicker."

I thought it meant that if you insist on getting drunk, liquor is more potent than wine. 

Doesn't that make more sense?

I would much rather drink a beer than drink anything with a higher alcohol content than 12%.

That was the alcohol percentage of the wine I made.

The IPA beer that I drink is usually in the 7%  range.  American beer is usually around 4 to 5%, and Lite beer isn't really beer at all.

Anyway, I thought I might write about two situations I may not have mentioned before.

1. Stop the pain

When I was a new-comer to Southern Germany and had to wear a collar and tie for a while, the tight cloth rubbing against my neck produced a painful boil.

After a while I couldn't stand the pain anymore, I visited the base doctor.  He was a German national who was commissioned a Captain by the U.S. military.  I believe he had been a Nazi, and probably still was. I'll call him Herr Hauptman Rudolph (Rudi).

When I entered his office, he took a cursory look at my boil and said in his sternest voice, " Next time take a shower before you get here!"

I immediately hated this guy, especially because I had just taken a shower, as I did every day.

Rudi took out a sharp scalpel and proceeded to excise the boil. (OW!!)

When he was through, to make sure that I didn't have to live with a hole in my neck, he took a large spool of some kind of thread and coiled it around and around in that hole until it was filled.  (OW!!)

He invited me back for the next day.

To try to kill the pain, I visited the Service Club and asked for a drink that would make the pain go away.  The bartender recommended a Singapore Sling cocktail.  (Angostura Bitters; Gin; Lime Juice; Cherry Liqueur; Grenadine.)

Pow! One drink and I felt better.  A second drink and I felt no pain and wobbled home to sleep.

The next day I went back to Rudi.  He smiled as he slowly pulled that thread out of my neck hole (OW!!) and then filled it again with new thread.  (OW!!) 

I once again hurried to the Service Club for two Singapore Slings.

This routine went on for a month, until Rudi got tired and after which I had no neck hole but instead a neck lump that I still have.  After a while all pain went away, and I gave up on my special cocktails.    

2. Ill-gotten gains

Baltimore has suffered riots from time to time.  During one of those in 1968, some friends of ours were confronted by a rioter who had looted a liquor store.  He had case after case of booze that he wanted to sell.  Our friends purchased 20 cases of Kahlua coffee liqueur from the rioter for a ridiculous price.

After that, whenever a birthday or anniversary occurred, we could expect a bottle of Kahlua. For years! Should I have refused to accept stolen booze?  What would you do?

........................................................................