Hi!

Heat!

The last time I visited London, they were having a "heat wave."  The temperature was 75 degrees Fahrenheit.

Hyde Park was filled with young folks having picnics in the grass. Most of the men had shed their white shirts and ties and were showing off their underwear tops. T-shirts hadn't been invented yet.  The ladies were, of course, more modest in their dress.

Today, the temperature in London reached 108 degrees Fahrenheit!

 I wonder how many homes in Britain have air conditioning.

Cookie

I hadn't heard from my tiny comma-shaped ebon creature for some time, but two days ago she ventured out of her hiding spot in my bathroom and greeted me.

When she saw me, she twirled and whirled like a dervish, showing me that she was still around and was in good shape.  I was impressed.

But yesterday things looked dim for my little friend.  Right outside of her hideout stood a giant black spider licking his chops.  Oh no, had he devoured poor Cookie? I hope not.

As mad as I was about Mr. Spider, according to my code of conduct, I could not kill him, because he was a living creature.

I picked up a container, but in my haste to capture him, I squashed him.  I'm sorry, but I have to say, "Good Riddance!"

Hypocrisy

Yes, I try not to kill any living creature.  However, set me down at a table filled with steamed Maryland Blue Crabs and I will stuff my maw greedily until they are all gone.  

Now, remember, these steamed crabs were living, breathing sea creatures just twenty minutes ago. So my thirst for the good life in "The Land of Pleasant Living" trumps my code of conduct.  Yes, I am a hypocrite!

A Classic Joke

(Told many many times, it is still enjoyed.)

A man appeared to be on his last legs. He constantly gasped for breath and his eyes popped out. The mystified doctors weren't hopeful, so he decided to live it up.

He went on a shopping spree.  At an expensive haberdashery, he pointed out a dozen silk shirts size 14.

"Your neck looks bigger than 14," said the clerk. You need a 16."

"I know my size," the man insisted.  "I want the shirts in a 14."

"I'll get them for you," replied the clerk. "But I want to warn you  - if you wear a 14 you'll gasp all day and your eyes will pop out"

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