Important People in my Life

Forty years ago, I heard noted Toastmaster Allan Kaufman tell this joke at a Toastmasters Club session.

Three men were sitting in a hospital waiting room  while their wives gave birth. A nurse came out and told the first man "Your wife just had twins."

"That's funny," he said.  "I play for the 'Twins' baseball team."

Just then, another nurse came out and told the second man that he was the father of triplets.

"That's strange," he said.  I work for the Triple M Corporation."

At that, the third man fainted.  The nurse asked what was wrong with him. 

"I guess he's worried," one of the new fathers said,

"He works for 7-Up."

Allan is a consummate joke teller.  He also likes to tell humorous personal stories, such as:

One day, Allan was in Ocean City, waiting for a movie theater to open.  Allan is a short man and was very aware of the tall man standing in line ahead of him.  "He must have been over seven feet tall!"

Allan couldn't resist.  He tapped the man on his knee and asked: "Do you play basketball?"  The giant turned around, looked down and replied: "No, do you play miniature golf?"

I've told the following several times, but I like to tell it.  So, here goes:

All of my life I suffered from "stage fright."  I could speak in public if necessary, and I had to, in my Social Security job. But before doing so, I would "die a thousand deaths" and stutter and then suffer vocal quivers when doing so.

Somehow, Allan heard about my problem and he and my co-worker Bob Crum would try mightily to get me to join Toastmasters (TM), where they were sure I would lose my fear.  I resisted for a long time until one day I gave in and visited a TM meeting.

It was a nice friendly meeting until the leader asked me to join in Table Topics, where contestants gave 3-minute mini speeches. I felt tricked.   I sputtered something and walked out.  To teach them a lesson, I avoided TM for several years more.

When my public speaking requirements were getting out of hand, I decided to visit another meeting at which I joined the organization. 

It worked.  Over the years I won speech contests, gave humorous monologs, earned quite a bit of recognition and gave over 100 speeches, eulogies and roasts.  Thanks to you, Allan.

Allan has a friend who is also a great joke teller.  Allan Misch.  I could not begin to duplicate the wonderful accents that he uses in his presentations.  I learned a lot from him as well. 

The two Allans published the book "No Sweat Speaking." I highly recommend it.  They also are developers of "The Going North Podcast," hosted by Dom Brightmon. The sub-title is: "Tips and Techniques to Advance Yourself."  I'm looking forward to listening. 

.......................................................................