More Humor

01.  Joke from Louise

Our good friend, Louise Miller liked to send us cards with jokes enclosed. She always remembered our special days, like birthdays and anniversaries.  Here is one of her jokes which was included in a "Get Well" card:

A lady was having computer trouble, so she called Bill, the "Computer Guy" and asked him to come over and take a look at it.

Bill clicked a couple of buttons and it solved the problem, and then he gave her a bill for a minimum service call.

As he was walking away, she called after him, "So, what was wrong?

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

She didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired:  "An ID ten T error?  What's that ... in case I need to fix it again?"

Bill grinned ... Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No," she replied.

"Write it down," he said, and I think you'll figure it out."

(She wrote...) I D 1 0 T

Now Louise was no idiot.  Far from it. She was a remarkable person with great genes.  At least two of her children reached the top in their professions:

Karen Minor in medicine and Kevin Dayhoff in politics and communications.  

Louise died a short time ago.  She is missed.

02.  To Do List

Everybody knows that if it wasn't for checklists and to-do lists, I could not function. I have a checklist for my morning chores, a checklist for my daily planned activity and a checklist so I remember my midnight chores.  A psychiatrist would have some fun analyzing me.

Shannon Wheeler has some tips to help set up to-do lists.

a.  Get paper and pencil.

b.  Think about things to do.

c.  Start writing the to-do list.

d.  Watch the list get really big.

e.  Get overwhelmed.

f.  Panic.

g.  Start doing stuff that isn't the stuff you're trying to do in order to avoid the stuff that you are trying to do.

h.  Have anxiety.

i.  Work on list again.

j.  Add increasingly impossible things to the list.

k.  Think about the things you've wanted to do in your life, but haven't done. Realize that your life is a waste and that achieving even the simplest goal is beyond you.

l.   Allow yourself to be filled with shame.

m. Freak out!

n.  Spend so much time on the to-do list that you run out of time to actually do something.

o.  Give up.

p.  Go outside.  It's a nice day and life is short.

03.  Actual Baltimore classified ad.

ROOSTER 6 months old Bantam, black with beautiful coloring throughout.  Must be for pet only.

Great for a horse farm.  His name is "Chase," because that is what he does.

04.  Naughty (close your eyes)

A young couple made love in a cemetery, on a grave slab in the ground. The next day the girl had a back ache and went to see a doctor.

The doctor examined her and asked, "How old are you?"

"Why do you ask?"

Because on your butt it says "Died in 1933."

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