Here we go again.

Tomato Flu has hit India.  I wonder how that is transmitted.  

 Our large tomatoes have just started to ripen. But, we've been getting cherry tomatoes for some time now.  Every day I pick 7 or 8 to go with Elaine's lunch.

There is nothing more tasty, in my opinion, than a red juicy tomato sprinkled with salt. Store-bought tomatoes taste to me like soggy cardboard.

Recipe?

This morning I felt creative and got out my food processor, into which I put 2 hard Italian rolls, 2 cookies, a lot of red onion, a bunch of zucchini and salt and pepper.  I ground it all up and the resulting mush is rather tasty, but I'd like to know what I can do with it.

Mix it with hamburger?  Bake it into a pie?  Throw it out?

A Brief Encounter

A very elderly gentleman, quite well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling of a good after shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.

Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady.  The gentleman walks over, sits next to her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

Someone sent me these deep thoughts:

01.  Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.  Teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

02.  Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

03.  How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

04.  Every teen-ager should get a High School education, even if they already know everything.

05.  If you are playing poker, look around the table.  If you can't tell who the sucker is, it's you!

Here are a few items that I presented at one of my emcee jobs:

01.  My arthritis has been bothering me lately.  But I'm getting careless, I mixed up Ben Gay and Preparation H.  Now my shoulder is shrinking.

02.  I got attacked by a guy with a razor.  Luckily he didn't have it plugged in.

03.  Questions about cows:

Q:  Why do cows wear bells?

A:   Because their horns don't work.

Q:   What do you call a cow that has just given birth?

A:   Decaffeinated

Q:   Why do cows wear high heels?

A:   So they can have good calves.

o4.  Stolen from the National Speakers group:

"I studied hard to become an emcee. I got my bachelor of Oratory from Pittsburgh University  .. or to put it another way .. I got my BO from PU."

05.   I broke my teeth last week in the mall and a guy walking by said "Hey, I've got a set here you can use."

I tried it, but it was too tight. He had another set .. too loose.

He had one more set and it was just right.  

I told him, "I sure was lucky that you, a dentist, were nearby."

He said, " I'm not a dentist, I'm a funeral director."

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