MARRIAGE  AND  SUCH

(True) 

Joe:  "Did you have a good sleep?"

Elaine:  "I don't know.  I didn't wake up to find out."

(Dining Out)

Ari Goldman to the New York Times:

"My wife and I went to a restaurant on Broadway on the upper West Side.  It was a beautiful late summer night, and we took a table on the street.

A bright-eyed young waitress approached us and asked if we'd like to start with drinks.

My wife ordered a tequila.

The waitress smiled and noted it on her hand-held device.

I ordered a screwdriver.

The waitress stared at me blankly.

It was noisy on Broadway, so I repeated my request: 'A screwdriver, please.'

The waitress shrugged.

 'OK,' she said. 'But can you tell me what you need it for?' "

(TIP)

"I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans."  (anon.)

(GOOD  NEWS)

A U.S. study has concluded that having sex once or twice a week gives a boost to the immune system that could ward off colds and the flu.

 Apparently, moderate sexual activity increases levels of immunoglobulin (IgA) that triggers the destruction of bad bacteria, according to Carl Charnetski of Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania.

(POINT  OF  VIEW  AND  RETORT)

Husband:  "When I was married for 25 years, I took a look at my wife and said: 

'Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde.

Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed, and a 55 inch plasma TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman.  It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

"My wife is a very reasonable woman and she told me to go out and find a 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, and sleeping on a sofa bed."

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