Chilly. Also, my pc is not allowing me to access my msn account and therefore I can't get to see my email. I can get it on other devices though, so it must be something screwed up on this computer. I'll give it a rest while I think about what might be wrong.
Ramblings:
Boston Area Traffic
I lived in Boston for a while and found it absurd to try to drive around the city. The streets were just tarred over cow paths from 1680. It was better to use the excellent subway system to get around.
Funny Times: Chuck Shepherd quotes the Boston Globe about one traffic problem:
"...a pedestrian crossing in Cambridge works this way: If the three clusters of three lights each are dark, drivers proceed. If a pedestrian comes along, one light will blink yellow, then solid yellow, then two solid yellows, then two reds, until two flashing red lights in each cluster appear... and in Cambridge, flashing red lights mean GO. There is a 12 diagram pamphlet available to explain the whole thing, in case you are confused."
I learned quickly that cars in Boston traffic do not stop for red lights. The stoppers are folks from out of town. The only place I found on the East Coast where traffic was worse.. was in Montreal, where the one way streets are like race tracks and the drivers love to scare the daylights out of other drivers and pedestrians. Don't even try to cross the street!
Fresh Meat
This guy was in jail for 20 years and he was just released. He was waiting in line at a WalMart and talking to a woman next to him. She asked him why he had been in prison. He replied: "I killed my wife with a hacksaw blade."
"Oh," she gushed, "you're single!"
You asked for it
Joe Piechocki sez: "While I was watching the NFL playoff games one weekend, my wife and I got into a conversation about life and death, and the need for living wills. During the course of the conversation I told her that I never wanted to exist in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and taking fluids from a bottle. She got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all my beer!"
Eats, Shoots and Leaves
Here is an example of a misplaced comma. It's from the book named above: "Leonora walked on her head, a little higher than usual."
Try it again with the comma after the word "on."
Lazy Government Employees?
In 1995, there was a Government shutdown. However, the employees at the Woodlawn Social Security Administration building felt that they needed to get some important work done and came to work. Finally, upper management decided to lock the doors to keep the workers out. (I wasn't around for this fun.. I retired earlier in 1995.)
No Smoking!
In 2011, Honduras passed a law that said that smoking at home is prohibited if family members or visitors complain to the police about the second hand smoke. On a second offence the fine is pretty steep.. the same as the person's monthly salary.
Nosmo King!
A job applicant signed his name Nosmo King. When asked why he had such a name, he said it was because his mother told him he was conceived in a garage and she got the idea for the name from that which was painted on the open door. (Sorry!)
Cooking Tip
When you are cooking hamburgers, poke a hole in the center of each with your finger... this will make them cook faster (and possibly taste better.)
Saint John Paul?
He was beatified in 2011 but I'm not sure what that means.. ..the former Pope did say that only Catholics had access to heaven... surely God objected to that stance. Bryan Cones in USCatholic.org sez: "...That's not to say that he's not worthy of sainthood, however, because 'holiness is not the same as perfection.'"
A Tale of Two Cities
Officials at the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver provided the two Olympic Villages with 100,000 condoms (14 for each of the 7,000 athletes, coaches, trainers and officials.) They learned from the Sydney, Australia Olympic Games in 2000, where officials handed out only 70,000 condoms, and had to order 20,000 more. (What the hell kind of games were being held?)
Contentment
Dave Griffin wrote the following about his marriage relationship: "You might say that we fit the definition of an old married couple. There is a comfortable peace between the two of us, each of us knowing that we give something the other desperately needs. She needs my reason and stability. I need her warmth and support. The burden of life is easier because we carry it together."
Some might say that this is sexist or condescending, but I like it.
Champion Eater
In 2009, Steve Hendrix of the Washington Post mentioned a lady who can eat us all "under the table." While only 5 feet tall and weighing 100 pounds, Juliet Lee is a competitive eater, ranked 11th in the world. In various contests, she has famously downed 34 hot dogs, 22 pork barbecue sandwiches, 48 tamales and 5 dozen miniature hamburgers. She has also eaten 31 dozen raw oysters, 23 dozen cherrystone clams, 13 slices of pizza, 5 pounds of ribs and 43 inches of a cheesesteak sub.
This superwoman was raised in China and lives in Germantown, Maryland.
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