Hot Topics!
Wait Wait Don't Tell Me: I learned today:
1. Japan is manufacturing underarm Air Conditioners. (Americans are so concerned about armpit smell... why? Studies have shown that women are attracted to men's underarm smells. Besides that, my physicist cousin, Charlie, informed me that sweat does not smell... what we smell comes from not changing our shirts as it dries... so, he said that one will not offend as long as one wears fresh clean clothes.
2. The Face of the Statue of Liberty is that of a man! Think about that, Mr. Trump. For years, people have thought that the face was modeled after sculptor Bartholdi's mother. Recent studies (why?) have indicated that it probably is modeled after the sculptor's brother.
3. Britain inventors have come up with a realistic robot that mimics a man's butt! Up until now, there has apparently been one guy who travels around offering himself as a target for the fingers of Medical Interns, who need to know how to give a prostate test. But now... a robot can be used instead.
So, the WWDTM consensus was that "two British asses lost their jobs this week.. David Cameron and this guy."
4. Trump Charitable Donations have been discovered! (Newsies have been trying to locate money that Donald J. Trump claims to have donated to charity. Unsuccessful for a while, they finally found where thousands of dollars had been donated by a Donald Trump. However, on close examination and discussion with the donor.. they found that the donor's name was Donald L. Trump, no relation. Donald L. says he would rather be called Skip.
More about Mr. Trump.
The Truth from the National Enquirer?
During the primaries, I was interested in something that Donald Trump said about Ted Cruz' father, Rafael. Mr. Trump mentioned that there was news that Rafael Cruz stood by Lee Harvey Oswald in a photograph. Rick Perlstein, in the Washington Spectator for July 1, 2016, said that Trump told Fox News in an interview in May, "That was reported, and nobody talks about it... I mean, what was he doing--what was he doing with Lee Harvey Oswald shortly before the death?"
Two days later, Ted Cruz withdrew from the Republican race.
Where did Mr. Trump get his news scoop? Perlstein tells us... he got it from:
"April 20, 2016: The National Enquirer cover blares, 'Ted Cruz's Father--Caught with JFK Assassin!'
As President, would the National Enquirer be the Donald's morning news briefing?
Enough! Let's talk about something else.... less cerebral.
The Reader's Digest has been a favorite diversion for me, off and on, for many years. I always learn something from each issue, such as this info from the July 2016 magazine:
01. Quora.com: "Why is a second called a second? Because it is the second division of the hour by 60." (Reminds me of the punchline of a joke: God said: "Just wait a second.")
02. Word Power: "brushback... this is a special baseball pitch. It forces a batter to step back and breaks his confidence."
03. Maine: the single state whose name is just one syllable. It's state flower is the pinecone, which is not really a flower.
04. Massachusetts: Sixteen of the top 25 windiest U.S. cities are located here. (I would have guessed Illinois or a prairie state.)
05. Montana: the temperature in Loma once climbed from -54 degrees Fahrenheit to 49 degrees Fahrenheit in a 24 hour period. This was the largest one-day hike ever reported.
06. New Hampshire: the state license plates display "Live Free or Die." These plates are made by prison inmates.
07. Feeling Blue?
The Trenton Star-Ledger reported the following:
A Trenton councilwoman called an emergency council meeting to address something that was reported to her by a constituent. She was told that a terrible new epidemic was turning women's genitals blue. She told her fellow council members that the "Blue Waffle Disease has already claimed 85 lives!"
April Fool!
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Now, see what you learned from RD.
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