BELIEVE  IT  OR  NOT  ..  IT'S TRUE

This story has a lot of angles, so it needs a list of characters: (some names have been changed)

Baby Christopher

Beth and Diane, beautiful daughters of Joe and Elaine

Elaine, Joe's wife and Christopher's mother

Father Bruce, 25 year-old handsome priest

Florence, pretty 19 year-old baby sitter for Joe and Elaine's children

Jacqui, Mike's wife, good friend of Elaine and a good Catholic

Joe, Elaine's husband and Chris' father (not a Catholic)

Maria, the Housekeeper for the Randallstown Priest's residence

Mike, Jacqui's husband and a TV Union executive

Rex, an enormous German Shephard belonging to Father Bruce

It was late December and the snow was starting to  cover the sidewalks when Elaine asked her husband, Joe (namely, me) to perform an errand.  Elaine and I had married some time ago, and we were the proud parents of two beautiful daughters, Beth and Diane.  

Since I was brought up as a Protestant, the "marrying priest" insisted that I bring up any children as Catholics.  I agreed, with my fingers crossed, and after childhood, we allowed our kids to practice any (or none) religion that made sense to them.

However, because of her "original sin" teachings, Elaine wanted her children to be baptized right after birth.  This was easy to have done foe Beth and Diane because I worked with a friendly priest at the Social Security Administration and he was eager to help us in that regard.

Now, we were living in Randallstown, Maryland, and we had never connected with that town's Holy Family Catholic Church, although we had signed the girls up for Catechism Class to start in the Spring.  Elaine wanted me to contact a priest and arrange for the baptism of our newly born baby boy.

There was a large brick house next to the church and I figured that must be where the priests lived.  I pressed the doorbell and was greeted by a lady in dark clothes. I asked to talk to a priest and was told this was a home for nuns.  She also gave me a mini lesson on the separation of sexes, based on some "Council of..." or other.  She gave me a Carroll County address, pointed towards that area and off I went, slipping and sliding through the now heavier snow fall.

I found the modestly shingled Priests' Home and shaking the ice and snow off my boots, knocked on the door (no doorbell.)  Immediately, the door was opened by Maria, the priests' housekeeper. (Now, this is a part that some folks say could not have taken place, but I assure you it did.)

As I was opening my mouth to speak, a gigantic German Shephard ran out of the door and locked its thick jaws around my right forearm.  This felt like a "death grip" to me as Maria said: "You ain't Catholic are you?"

I squeaked out a "no!" as a priest, I later learned was Father Bruce, suddenly appeared in a bright yellow T-shirt.  He said some magic word and the dog loosened its grip and allowed me to be free.  When my nerves calmed down, we discussed infant baptism and Father Bruce agreed to do what was required.

From time to time Father Bruce would disappear and show up at peace rallies and Freedom Marches in Alabama and Mississippi.  Because this was dangerous, our good friends Jacqui and Mike arranged for him to have a protective guard dog that could accompany him on his excursions.  That dog was the one that had gripped me.  His name was Rex.

Meanwhile, our pretty young babysitter, Florence, agreed to include baby Christopher in her baby-sitting duties.  Florence was the first daughter in a family of eleven siblings and she knew how to do household chores.

When we would come home from a night out, we would find the kids sleeping in their beds, the dishes washed and put away, clothing washed and dried and ironed (even the handkerchiefs), rugs vacuumed, toys all picked up and put away, leftover food packed and put in the refrigerator, and other jobs for which we were grateful.  In addition, she always showed up early for her jobs, usually long before the time to start.

And ,,, the kids loved her.

One Saturday night she didn't show up. Even her fellow family members didn't know where she was.  This was so unlike Florence. We suspected foul play.

However, on the next morning we learned what had happened to Florence.

That rascally handsome Father Bruce had been secretly wooing the irresistible Florence, and they had eloped on Saturday and had a "quickie" marriage in Elkton, Maryland.  On Sunday, Bruce, no longer a "father," made an obscene gesture towards the Catholic Church and the couple disappeared with their guard dog Rex into the bowels of Mississippi.

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