FRANKENTRIP

After a chilly 18 month assignment at the Pruem RADAR Station at a mountain area called the Schnee-Eifel, I was pleased to get orders to report to a warmer outfit near Nuremberg (American spelling) in Bavaria.

However I was ordered to arrange for my own move to that location.  Luckily, I would not have to resort to the back of trucks, buses and trains, because I had my own transportation. A veteran of the recent  World War; a decommissioned and overhauled U,S, Army Jeep, painted bright green, with a roof to offer some protection from the "elements."  I loved that little vehicle, and used it, whenever the snow was not too deep, to travel around north-west Germany.

I located my Jeep by looking for its long antenna poking above the snowdrifts in the Motor Pool.  As was usual, I shoveled a pathway toward a "road" that had been plowed.  Mr. Jeep was now free again.

 I did not need a key; I just turned on the ignition and the Jeep started right up and purred like a satisfied pussy cat. I was almost ready to travel to my new assignment.

I had decided that I would travel on "by-ways" rather than on the Autobahn, because Mr. Jeep could not keep up to the 100 Miles Per Hour speed limit.  I tried it once, got a flat at 80 MPH, and almost tipped over.  My Jeep was happiest at 30 mph.

I loaded my Personal Effects footlocker and the heavy footlocker that held all of my vinyl records and player.  After filling my tank with "slightly watered" gasoline, I happily began my 300 mile trip south.

As I drove, it got darker and darker and I got very tired.  It was no longer safe for me to drive, so I pulled off on the road side, rolled up my windows and fell asleep.  After what must have been a long sleep time, I had a very realistic dream.

I dreamt that I was Dr. Frankenstein's monster, and I heard those immortal words: "It's alive! It's alive!"  Then I heard the peasants yelling for my destruction and threatening me with pitchforks.  Scared to death by this nightmare I awoke to find a crowd of people pounding on the Jeep with briefcases and sausages, cursing me.  As background music, I heard lots of "Clang, clang, clangs."

Yes, you have guessed it,  Last night I had pulled over on the trolley car tracks and now the trolley was blocked and all of these morning risers were unable to get to work on time.  

Fearing for my life, I quickly woke Mr. Jeep and we sped out of harm's way.  

The rest of my trip was not as memorable as that, except for one incident.

In the evening, as I was rounding a "blind" curve, I was struck by a giant red American car.  The driver was obviously "drunk as a skunk."  He didn't seem to care about me, but he closely used his blurred vision to inspect his automobile.  The only "damage" to our vehicles was red streaks on my Jeep and green streaks on his car.  He stumbled into his automobile and zoomed off into the night.

I finally made it to my new assignment and the next morning I reported to the Sargent Major.  On the way in, I noticed a giant red car parked outside, sporting a long green streak on its side.  The owner never mentioned how he got it and I doubt if he ever looked at Mr. Jeep to see the nice red streak on his side.

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auf wiedersehen!