GHOSTS

we live in a retirement community named Carroll Lutheran Village (CLV), where we are protected from intrusions into our lives.  Therefore, we don't get any "Trick or Treaters" knocking on our doors. 

However, today, some "treater" left a bag of candy and power bars on our front porch.  It was nice of the "treater" to think of us, but being diabetic and pre-diabetic, we will have to come up with a "nibbler's schedule to avoid a necessary insulin increase."  And I'm sorry, we are not sharing our bounty right now!

Since the aforementioned "treater" signed as a ghost, I thought that I might find some "ghost info" to impart.  Here goes:

Archie Bunker, on seeing young "Trick or Treaters" dressed as ghosts, who stood silently at his door, remarked:  "I guess that whoever sent them wanted to remain unanimous."

There are lots of kids' jokes in the Super Duper Joke Book by Fredrica Young.  For example: (answers are at the end of this blog)

01.  Why do ghosts like to ride elevators?

02.  What does a mother ghost tell her little ghosts in the car?

03.  What song does a ghost like?

04.  What's the scariest waterway in America?

05.  Name a ghostly baseball team.

06.  What kinds of pants do ghosts wear?

07.  What is an Australian ghost's favorite desert?

In Dave Barry Talks Back Dave says he likes Halloween.  He especially likes it when the little ghostly "Trick or Treaters" ring the doorbell and stand there silently, because the costume's eyeholes don't sync with their actual eyes. 

Usually the silence will be broken by an adult voice from the darkness, hissing: "Say Trick or Treat, dammit!"

This is, of course, the voice of Dad, who wants this activity to be over, so he can get back to watching the World Series.

Finally, here are some silly ghost jokes from the 1980 edition of  5600 Jokes For All Occasions by Meiers and Knapp:

08.  Why can't that ghost haunt me?

09.  What's the definition of a skeleton?

10.   Why is the "flagpost sitter sitting at half mast?" 

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Answers:

01.  It raises their spirits.

02.  Fasten your sheet belts.

03.  Boo Moon.

04.  The Erie Canal.

05.  The Toronto Boo Jays.

06.  Boo Jeans.

07.  Boo-Meringue Pie

08.  Because he doesn't have a "haunting license."

09.  A stack of bones with the people scraped off.

10.  He's in mourning for his wife who died yesterday.

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I'll just be "shoveling  off."  (Digby)